Play Hard (The Devil's Share Book 5) (12 page)

Chapter Twenty

Lexi

I’d observed Luke watching Lo while he played. I knew he had real feelings for this girl. It was obvious in the way that he couldn’t not see her, couldn’t seem to look away. The question remained, would he let himself fall? Or would he use me as an excuse not to?

“What are you thinking? You’re being too quiet and you’re scaring me.” Dylan took the drink I’d been occupying myself with from my hands and sat it down on the bar.

“Luke likes Lo.” My eyes swept the room. “He looks for her. He searches her out. And the dummy probably doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. He needs a swift kick in the ass.”

“Why did you bring up the Amy thing in the car?”

I turned back around, facing forward before Luke (or Dash) caught me staring. Dash wanted me to leave well enough alone and let Luke make his own choices. I knew Luke sucked at making his own choices; he always
chose
to be the martyr. “I wanted to see his reaction, see hers. And did you notice? It took her like sixty seconds to even realize what we were talking about.”

Dylan held her empty drink out to the hot bartender, signaling she’d like another. “Yeah, but then she slapped him.” Dylan barely drank when she’d joined us on tour, and now she could hold her own with the rest of us like a champ.

“It was halfhearted at best. Besides it looked like she was trying not to laugh the whole time.” I sighed. “They’re friends, they have fun together, and they’re hot for each other. There’s no mistaking any of that.”

“So what’s the problem? It seems like they are well on their way to being more than just friends. And I know for a fact she’s on the press tour until New York because Luke added her to the flight itinerary. They have time.” Dylan drained half her drink in one long pull.

“Are you on a mission tonight? Should we just order shots and be done with it?”

She winced, a small smile playing on her lips. “Smith wants a baby.”

My eyes went wide. “What?” Out of all the guys in the band, I never guessed Smith would be the one to actually plan for a kid.

“He wants to start trying as soon as all this promo stuff is over. So I figured I might as well live it up while we’re here. Drink, sit in the hot tub, eat a crap ton of sushi.” She chuckled. “You know, all the things you bitched about not being able to do while you were pregnant with Halen.”

I pulled her in for a hug. “That’s really amazing, Dilly. I am so excited for y’all, for all of us.”

“Yeah, who would have thought, right? It’s Halen and Landry, they gave him baby fever.”

I shook my head. “Nah. It’s you. It’s y’all’s love. There’s no better way to celebrate a love like that.” Smith had turned his life around for Dylan, not because she told him to. Not because she’d kicked and screamed and demanded. But because she loved him, even when he thought he was broken. A proverbial light bulb went off in my head. “That’s what Luke needs. Luke needs to know that Harlow wants him, broken pieces and all. Dilly, you’re a genius.”

She looked at me like I’d finally lost it. “You want Luke to knock up Harlow? That seems a little extreme, Lex, even for—”

“No. Of course I don’t want him to knock her up…” I went silent, my mind mulling that around for a minute. “No, that could end up scaring her off. I just need to get Lo to step it up, to make Lukey realize how much he actually likes her. He’ll be terrified, obviously, but she won’t be.”

“You don’t know that.”

I narrowed my eyes, shooting her look right back at her. “I know everything.”

“I get that you kind of fancy yourself the great and powerful Oz, but you’ve been wrong before.”

I scoffed. “I most certainly have not.”

“You tried to keep me from Smith.”

She had me there. “Okay, one time I was
sort of
wrong. For like three days.”

Dylan downed the rest of her drink then started casing the joint. “You think they serve sushi here?”

Chapter Twenty-one

Luke

It took me twenty minutes to get through the crowd of reporters and radio personalities so that I could make my way to the bar. I’d kept my eye on Harlow the whole time. She seemed to get along really well with Bryan, which didn’t surprise me. They talked for a while before Dylan and Lexi got up and joined them. “Hey, ladies. Having fun?” I grabbed Harlow’s glass and took a sip, wincing. “What is up with your affinity for gin?”

“It’s classic.” She took her drink back and then leaned over the bar, her round little ass in the perfect position in front of me. “Love, will you get me a scotch on the rocks please?” I peeled my eyes from her body and followed her gaze to the tattooed and bearded bartender.
Love?

“Sure thing, gorgeous.” He winked and I had the sudden urge to climb over the bar and punch him in the face. I was the only guy in this bar who could wink at Lo.

I raised my eyebrows. “Little friendly with the attractive bartender, don’t you think?” Was I jealous? Nah. She was supposed to be here with me. She didn’t need to flirt with bartenders. That’s all it was. I wasn’t developing feelings for her or anything. I hadn’t gotten hard watching her during my show. I hadn’t pictured her straddling my lap while I banged her instead of my drums.

She wrapped an arm around my neck and placed a loud kiss on my lips. “Don’t worry, kid. You’re all the man I have patience for.”

I threaded my fingers through the hair at the back of her scalp and then brought her closer so I could kiss her again. I bound my arm around her waist and dipped her backward. Her leg automatically hiked up to my hip, I loved it when she did that. I wanted to fuck her in this bar. Hell. I wanted to fuck her
on
the damn bar. Then that hipster lumberjack would know who she belonged to. My thoughts suddenly brought me crashing back to reality, because she didn’t actually belong to me. She wasn’t mine to keep. I righted us both and stepped away from her. Thankful when my scotch showed up in front of me.

“You two are worse with the PDA than Dash and Lexi.” Smith chuckled.

Jacks snorted. “No one is as bad as Dash and Lexi. Do you remember being on that bus with them? They didn’t care who was listening.” Jacks caught Harlow’s eye. “I heard Halen being conceived.” She looked at me; when she saw I wasn’t laughing, she gave me a sad smile.

Being trapped on that bus with Lexi and Dash had been a really hard three months. Their lust then love constantly shoved in my face with no escape. Harlow wrapped an arm around my middle. Sensing I needed the contact and giving it to me without hesitation. For a fleeting moment I wished that this perfect girl at my side actually did belong to me.

Dash held up his hand. “To be fair, we were all like that on the bus. It’s just that the rest of you stopped bringing girls back after shows when Lexi joined the tour.”

“Except for Lukey.” Lexi pointed at me with her beer. “Right? Luke never brought groupies onto the bus. He was always better than the rest of you.”

Jacks slapped me on the back. “Yeah, Luke just preferred more room to work and a chick who knew how he liked it. Right, bud?”

I playfully covered her ears. “Can we please not discuss my past sex life in front of Lo?” I had never been into the groupies; they always seemed so desperate to me. Willing to do whatever you asked of them, no matter who was watching. I enjoyed sex, a lot. But I always tended to enjoy it more when I wasn’t having to look over my shoulder to make sure the chick wasn’t stealing band merch or videoing us on her cell phone.

Harlow moved my hands, laughing. “I’m going to wait until you aren’t around and then I’m going to tear all kinds of stories about you out of your friends.”

I kissed her temple. “I’m a saint and I was a virgin until I met you.”

Lexi winked at Lo. “If you want Luke stories, just come sit by me. I’ve got enough to last a lifetime.”

Her words went right to my heart. “Be careful what you say, Little Lex, I’ve got plenty of dirt on you too.”

She laughed, holding her hand out. “Truce?”

I took her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze. “Always.” Lo looked back and caught my gaze; there wasn’t pity in her eyes. But there wasn’t understanding either. It was like she was looking through me, trying to figure it all out.

There were so many memories between Lexi and me. So many words and smiles and endless nights. My love for Lexi had grown slowly, over days and months and years. She had wound her way around my heart so tightly that I’d had to run away to get some peace. Seeing her again, being around her now, it was different than I thought it would be.

The old ache was there, no doubt.

But the sting wasn’t as sharp as I remembered.

***

After we finished our drinks we’d all headed back to the hotel. Jacks and Dash needed to get home to their kids. Smith rarely partied anymore, taking his relatively healthy lifestyle seriously. To say that things had changed from when I first joined this band was the understatement of the century. Two years ago we wouldn’t have headed home until the sun came up. We parted ways in the lobby, everyone climbing into different elevators until it was just Lo and I left standing in the gleaming hallway. “You okay?” She’d been quiet ever since we left the bar. Which, from what I’d been able to observe in these past couple of days, was unlike her.

“There is so much history between you, between all of you. So much life that’s been lived.”

I smiled. “And that’s bad?”

“No. It’s just… They love you Luke. They would do anything for you, including forgive you for lying about having a girlfriend.” She reached forward and lit up the button to signal the elevator.

Was she having second thoughts? I wouldn’t make it without her. “I need you, Harlow. Please don’t leave me.”

When the doors opened, she walked all the way to the back, getting as far from me as she could. “I’m not going to leave you, Luke. I couldn’t if I tried.” She hung her head for the second time tonight. Just like she didn’t enjoy seeing me be a “sad sack” around Lexi, I didn’t enjoy seeing her head down. I was just about to reach out and lift it up when she seemed to steel herself. “I just want you to think about what you’re doing, really think about it. You are still running, don’t you see that?”

I shook my head. “Pix, it’s not like that, I—”

“It
is
like that. You’re terrified to be alone with her, you’re terrified that the second I’m not by your side to be your buffer your heart will break all over again.” She took a step toward me. “She loves you, Luke. You said it yourself, she’d do anything to see you happy, to make you happy. Except be yours. You can’t have her.”

“I know.” Her words were like a bucket of ice-cold water. I knew Lexi was right where she needed to be. I knew she was happy and that Dash would take care of her, cherish her, forever. “I just spent so long thinking that it’d be me and her in the end.”

Harlow reached over and pushed the emergency stop button right before we got to our floor. The car jerked a few times and then went still. “Did you ever make a move, Luke? Did you ever tell her how you felt? Did you ever grab her and kiss her with everything you had?” She took a step toward me. “Of course you didn’t, because you
knew
. Deep down you knew that the two of you were always only meant to be friends. And it terrified you.”

“I wasn’t scared. I wanted to be something. I wanted to be someone she could see herself with. When I joined the Devil’s Share, I thought maybe finally I’d be someone worthy of her—”

Harlow held her hands up. “Enough.” She let out a quick irritated sigh. “You have Lexi so high on this fucking pedestal that you can’t even see her anymore. She’s just a girl. You always deserved her, Luke, you were always worthy of her love. She just never wanted it, not that way.” She took another step in my direction. “When I met you on the plane, you were a jerk. And then five minutes later I was falling all over myself every time you looked at me. You are a great guy and anyone would be lucky to have you. You’ve got to stop thinking that just because you aren’t with Lexi that you’re less-than. That you’re broken. She didn’t break you, kid. She just bruised you a little.” When she stepped back and hit the button again, I almost reached for her. The doors dinged seconds later, letting us know we were on our floor.

I didn’t say anything on the way to the room, and I didn’t try to stop her when she headed into the bathroom and shut the door. Lexi was the be all and end all of my future. That’s how I’d always felt. But Lo was right, no matter how far I ran, no matter how down I got. She’d never be mine, she was never even meant to be mine. And that right there was the hardest pill to swallow. I’d spent ten years wishing for and then mourning something that never even existed. I sat down on the edge of the bed, my head in my hands.

It was 4:00 in the morning, and we’d just gotten back from the hospital. The lead singer in my band had attacked Lexi in a doped-up fit of rage. I wasn’t there for her. I had left her alone, which I tried to never do. And he’d lost it. He threw her against a wall. He knocked her around like a rag doll. If I hadn’t walked in when I did, he would have raped her. I tried to kill him. I wanted to kill him. The only thing that stopped me was Lexi. She tried to get up and then fell back down. At that moment he ceased to exist and all that mattered was making sure she was okay.

“Can I have some more water?” Her voice sounded rough, like he’d held her by the throat at one point. Although I was sure she’d never admit it if I asked. Lexi was downplaying the whole attack.

I reached over and grabbed her water bottle from the nightstand and helped her take a drink. “I shouldn’t have let you leave the hospital.”

“Lukey, I’m fine.” She lay back down with her head on my chest. I loved having her like this, having her close. But the circumstances behind it made me sick to my stomach.

“You were assaulted and almost raped. You are not fine.”

“We both know that’s not who Sam is. Getting him arrested and ruining what’s left of this tour isn’t going to help anyone.” Lexi refused to press charges, refused to even hold him accountable for his actions. She was right though, what happened tonight was so out of character for Sam it was still hard for me to wrap my mind around it. We’d grown up together. He was the kid who nursed baby birds back to health after they fell out of trees. He was the kid who made Valentine’s Day cards for people who didn’t have any friends.