Playing with Passion Theta Series Book 1 (27 page)

She pulled her hand away and lowered
her gaze to the bowl, feeling embarrassed. "I don't know that girl
anymore. She was too weak to survive.”

"She's lovely and stronger than I
could ever be." He wiped away Ingrid’s single tear with his napkin.
"You’re lovely. Especially those lips and that ass." He winked,
hoping to bring her back.

Ingrid laughed,
remembering everything she'd heard in his mind and his heart when
they were looped.
He thinks he might love
me
. "Are you still hungry?" she
asked.

He took off the sunglasses and laid
them on the table next to his beer. "Yes, but not for soup." He
smiled his twisted smile, his copper eyes gleaming out an
invitation.

"Good, because if I'm
going to be
retired
because I'm a freak, then I want to spend more time with
you...acting freaky." Ingrid stood, her borrowed tee shirt and
boxers making a pile at her feet. "You game?"

It turned out that he was. Several
times.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

Mack watched her chest rise and fall
with each peaceful breath, her lovely mouth curling up as she
dreamed. He thought about the precious gift she'd given him this
night. He didn't mean her body, although the hours they'd shared
making love would be rerun through his brain thousands of times
over the coming years. It was the gift of her spirit—her
determination that they could be more than performing puppets—her
certainty that this slavery could end—her truth. In a world of lies
and fantasy, there was nothing fake about Ingrid.

And beyond all imagining, he found
that he loved her. A week ago, Mack would have said that was
impossible. Thetas didn't love; they weren't capable of deep
feelings. They were empty vessels and so would never truly feel
that most exquisite and sometimes most painful of all human
emotions.

But tonight, and for all the days to
come, he would love her. She filled his heart with hope and fed his
soul with the strength of her spirit. He would give his life for
her, leaving everything behind to keep her safe.

She sighed and opened her eyes, then
reached up to stroke along his cheek. He leaned into it, enjoying
the gentle contact. "Will you do something for me?" She sounded
half-asleep, as if she were still dreaming. "You'll think it's
silly but it would make me very happy."

"Anything."

She smiled and met his gaze. "I want a
name."

"Ingrid is your name," he
said.

"Ingrid is a label. I want you to give
me a name. I'll give you one, and we'll whisper them to each other
when we curl up together every night."

"I don't know what kind of
name…”

"You don't have to tell me now. We'll
think about it. Pick a name that fits."

He laughed softly as he surveyed her
exquisite, naked body stretched out next to his.
"Salome?"

"Ha, ha." She narrowed her mischievous
eyes and grabbed his hair, pulling him down closer. "I could dance
the Dance of the Seven Veils for you. You'd have to grant me a
wish."

"I'm already at your mercy, not that I
don’t want to watch you dance, beautiful girl.”

"Will you grant me a wish now?" She
scraped her nails down his chest, enjoying the way he
shivered.

"Yes." His body had stirred again
under her touch.

"Sass is dead and I don't have my
charger. Can I plug it into yours? I need to call Gene."

Mack’s stomach clenched, but he kept
his voice steady. "Sure. It's in the kitchen. I'll get us a couple
of sodas."

"Thanks." She walked seductively into
the kitchen, pulled on the tee shirt and boxers still in a pile on
the floor, and fished around in her bag where she’d left it on the
counter. Plugging her H-tab into the wall charger, she sat at the
table while Mack pulled some cold sodas out of the
refrigerator.

"Sass, dial Gene. Voice activation
only."

The mechanical voice was even more
irritating than usual. "You missed four calls, Ingrid. The first
one was from..."

"I don't fucking care. Call
Gene."

"There's no need to be
rude."

"I can get a hammer, and I know how to
use it."

"Fine."

She put the H-tab on speaker, and
Gene's smooth, rich voice filled the room. "Hello, darlin'.
Enjoying yourself?"

"Oh yeah, very much. How're you
feeling? How's your energy?"

"I'll be fine for the
show."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. You two relax and have fun.
Tell Mack that Alan has everything under control."

"Thank you, kind sir."

"My pleasure, Miss Ingrid. See you
later."

As she'd been talking, Mack had stood
frozen by the counter not even looking in her direction. He was
gathering in his sails for the storm to come, certain that what he
had to say might end their relationship once and for all. When she
told Sass to go into sleep mode, he turned.

"What's wrong? You look like someone
stole your shuttle and wrecked it.” Ingrid’s expression was
wary.

"We need to talk." He
collapsed into a chair at the table, but couldn’t bring himself to
look at her.
Shit
.

"Are you feeling okay?” She reached
for his hand, but he didn’t offer his.

He took a breath. "Are you and
Gene…are you going to still...?" Mack swallowed, looking up so he
could read her expression. He already knew the answer to his
question and dreaded hearing it. "Will you and Gene still be
rebooting each other?”

Ingrid’s eyebrows shot up. "What are
you asking? He's my partner ingénue, and we have an arrangement.
You know that. I told you, we don’t need to have sex, but he still
needs me.” Mack couldn’t respond, so she continued, “You heard him.
He says he's okay for the show tomorrow, but after the
show..."

Mack stood and walked out
of the room, grumbling to himself as he headed to the shower. He
needed space and that would at least give him a few minutes of
privacy.
I'm such a fucking
idiot.

CHAPTER
TWENTY-FIVE

Leaning her cheek and her palm
against the outside of the bathroom door, Ingrid listened to Mack
in the shower, the steady rush of the water a barrier between them.
The wood felt cool against her skin, almost soothing, but she
couldn't find any real comfort there.

She'd seen his expression before he'd
turned away. Hurt, lost, and angry, maybe with allowing his
vulnerability to show.

He loves me. I know it. He
loves me
.

Mack had left his mind and his heart
exposed and allowed her inside. He’d told her from the start he was
having trouble with the idea of her being with Gene. Now she was
terrified he was going to let her go.

She backed away from the door and sat
on the bed, waiting for him to finish. He was right; they needed to
talk this out. She clasped her hands tightly together to still the
tremors. Somehow, she was going to figure out a way to keep true to
her arrangement with Gene and still be with Mack. Gene was her
close friend, and she couldn't leave him without a way to reboot.
It would weaken him and he wouldn't be able to project. The
Director would retire him.

But, Mack was the one she'd searched
for, a male she could trust and love, who’d trust and love her
back. A man who'd help her break free of her chains—accept her for
who she was.

Only he didn't, he couldn't. He was
going to make her choose.

Ingrid frowned. He
knew
what she was before
he’d ever kissed her. He knew the contract she’d signed word for
word, yet he'd still chosen to make love to her. And now the
reality was too much for him to deal with. Yesterday's Ingrid
would've been furious, but she wasn't that female any longer—at
least, not with him. She wiped away the single tear that cut a path
down her cheek. She wouldn't allow herself to fall apart here in
his house. Later, when she was alone...

The bathroom door opened and Mack
walked out, his hair damp and messy, his hips wrapped in a towel.
Ingrid watched him dress. He was so beautiful, his body perfectly
balanced, his muscle tone magnificent. She found herself wanting
him again, wanting his hands and his mouth on her skin, but she
stayed where she was, drinking him in, terrified this would be the
last time they'd be together.

Dressed, he sat on the bed next to
her, and she allowed him to take her hand and pull her closer. He
tilted her head with his fingers on her chin, so she'd have to look
into his eyes. His smile was full of joy and sadness,
both.

"I've fallen in love with
you."

There was a moment of blinding joy.
These were the words she’d craved to hear spoken by this man, but
as perfect as they were, he was going to toss them away, along with
her heart.

Lifting her hand to his mouth, he
kissed her palm, and she wondered if he was saying goodbye with the
sweet gesture. "You are everything I've ever dreamed about in a
female. I want to spend my days and nights kissing and loving every
inch of you, but your beautiful body isn't all that I
want."

His hand was gentle as it moved
through her hair. "I want to learn who you are, and what you're
wishing for when you're staring at those stars at
night."

"I think you know. Freedom mostly. But
I've also wished for someone like you."

His expression grew more serious. "I
need your complete fidelity. I can't share you."

She started to turn away, but his hand
in her hair forced her to face him. "I'll be faithful to you,
Ingrid. I'll work night and day to get the troupe away from The
Director, somewhere safe."

"You already have my heart, Mack. I've
searched for you from the moment they sent me out as an ingénue.
But until we find that safe place, I'm still an ingénue and so is
Gene." Ingrid needed to make this clear.

"I'll talk to him. I'm sure
Diane..."

"Diane? You'd send him off for a pity
fuck with Diane?"

"It wouldn't be like that. Gene would
understand."

"What if Diane doesn't
agree?"

"She's not particular."

"He deserves better than
that from me
and
you. I made a promise. And I explained what we did." When he
saw that she wasn't going to give in, his eyes dimmed and his
shoulders slumped. She stroked his face and asked, "Tell me what
bothers you about it. Isn't he your friend? It's only a shared
orgasm. It isn't love like what we have."

He laughed in a harsh way. "I guess to
someone who has sex constantly, it's no big deal."

"Mack." She pulled away. His words had
stung; bringing to mind the ugly things The Director had called
her.

"Even without intercourse, you're
sharing yourself with him in an intimate way, getting him off,
sharing your intimate thoughts.” He stood, picking up the dress
she’d draped over the chair near his closet. "If you can't agree to
this we have no future."

"Please, sit down and
talk..."

"I’m not going to change my mind. I
can't."

"You’re being unreasonable. Can't we
reach some kind of compromise? Gene is my acting partner, my
friend. You're so much more to me. With Gene, it's necessary. It's
part of my job."

"Sounds a lot like..."

Ingrid stood abruptly, burning up with
rage and hurt. "Shut up! Don't you dare suggest…" She snatched the
dress roughly from his hand. "I won't break my word to Gene. I
won't watch him get weaker or have to beg Diane to help him out.
You don't know what it is to be an actor, how the projecting and
everything else wears us down. He needs me and I won't turn my back
on him." Ingrid walked as steadily as she could manage into the
bathroom and shut the door, turning on the faucet so he wouldn't
hear her crying.

CHAPTER
TWENTY-SIX

Mack threw sneakers, sweatpants, a
tee shirt and a few other items into his gym bag, thinking that a
strenuous workout might be the only thing to help him ignore…what?
He didn't even have words for how he felt. Half an hour ago, he’d
been ecstatic, but then a careless comment, along with his usual
stubborn bullheadedness had fucked everything up.

She'd been crying in the
bathroom for five minutes. Sobbing. He’d done this to
her—criticizing her for shit she had no control over. Ironically,
the fact that she wouldn't turn away from Gene only made him admire
her more.
Fuck
.

Mack leaned against the door. "Ingrid,
please come out. I want to talk to you." A minute later she did,
dressed once more in her outfit from the vamp party, looking
beautiful, even though her eyes were red and swollen. She lifted
her chin to meet his gaze, her psychic walls locked down tight.
Mack thought there was something magnificent about the way she
stood up to him, the way she stood up to everyone. He wanted
nothing more than to protect her from the future her position held
in store. And she still didn’t know about Joseph Herron’s deal with
The Director.