Please Don't Tell (14 page)

             
I pulled my Snuggie down. “No, I’m not. Could you please keep your voice down.”

             
“What were you two doing anyway?” Her eyes scanned the television. “And since when did you like to watch soccer?”

             
Ethan yelled out from the kitchen. “It’s football.”

             
Oh.My.God! He heard her. Which meant he possibly heard everything.

             
She shrugged his outburst off. “Well, do you need me to help get you ready or what? He’ll be here in like six hours.”

             
I grinned. “And, you think it takes six hours to get ready to have sex?”

             
“Well, you need the proper setting and...oh I don’t know something.”

             
I laughed out loud. “You’re crazy. You know that right?”

             
She pushed me back onto the couch, laughing. “Crazy, but you love me.”

             
I laughed again. “I do.”

             
Before Val left, I didn’t have the heart or the guts to tell her that I wouldn’t have the nerve to go through with it. I didn’t now and I didn’t when I asked him over. It had been merely a ploy to see if Ethan got jealous. Plain and simple. Something told me that I wouldn’t needed that now. How the hell was I going to get out of this one?

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 15

             
After Val left me alone in my bedroom, Ethan peered around the corner of my door.

             
“So, I guess you still have plans tonight?” He asked, with his hand stretched up, dangling from the door frame.

             
I frowned, studying him as his eyes roamed every corner of my room. “Kinda.”

             
He glanced toward my bed where everything for the night had been spread out, including the black lacy thongs Val insisted I wear.

             
His eyebrow arched and his face had gone judgmental. “Big plans, apparently.”

             
As I eyed him I realized there was no smug grin, no smile, no laugh, just something that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Maybe disappointment. It was a look I had only seen him wear once before. His look of disappointment bothered me longer than it should have as we both just stared each other down.  I pulled my gaze from him and toward my bed. “Yeah, I guess I do.” I said in a whisper then turned back to him. “What about you? Any plans?” I asked, as I tucked the thongs  discreetly as possible under my jeans.

             
Shoving his hands into his pockets he rocked on his heels. “Nope. Can’t think of anything. Probably just watch football on the Telly or play Xbox with Austin.” He continued to watch me fiddle with the things on my bed. Starting to get noticeably uncomfortable I walked walked over to my desk when he said,“Second thought, maybe I will pop out for a bit.”

             
Shoot, Austin. How could I forget him? How could I even begin to pull this off with him here? Let alone Gran. Gran hadn’t come over yet, which started to make me worry. I made a mental note to call her as soon as Ethan left me alone. It was a crazy, no good-hair-brained idea that I didn’t want to go through with anymore. For the life of me, I couldn’t believe I’d rather snuggle up to Ethan and watch soccer/football then spend the night making out with Jason.
             

             
From down below the doorbell rang. My eyes shifted to my alarm clock. “Shoot, he’s early. I’m not even ready,” I said, looking down at my outfit.

             
A small look of defeat came over his face. “Get ready. I’ll get it.” He turned to walk out. “Ethan,” I shouted.  He turned slightly back inside my room. “Thanks.”

             
“Sure.” He shrugged, ending our conversation.

             
I quickly got undressed and redressed in a matter of two minutes flat. I was afraid to leave the two of them alone for too long, so I skipped adding a fresh coat of make-up. I dabbed a little gloss on and ran a brush through my hair. I ran my flat iron quickly through my hair and spritzed it with my shine serum before I heard a noise from outside my door. Pixie was standing in front of me with a bone larger than her as it dangled from her mouth with a dab of drool clinging to the end.

             
“Hey, girl. How do I look?” I asked Pixie.

             
She sat on her hind legs and the bone dropped down in front of me. “Not today,” I said, patting her head. I quickly made the call to Gran who informed me there was no way she’d be driving today. It had snowed all day. So much for parental supervision. Which made me wonder if my mother knew that we were all alone. And, if she did--would she be okay with it?

             
Okay, I was ready. Walking down the stairs I glanced into the living room. I saw them both. Jason had his arm propped up over the couch and Ethan was across the room on the big comfy chair that my mother loved. Ethan had been shooting some sort of death glare toward an unaware Jason. He was engrossed as he played a game on his phone. The only noise coming from the room was the roar of Englishmen chanting their team fight song on the television.
             

             
“Hey,” I said, uncomfortably as the lacy thong started to ride up my backside. I tried to shift, but it was no help. Why did I even put these on? Lord knows that I would never have the guts to let him see me in them. Why did I even bother?

             
They both looked up at the same time. I walked toward them. Jason stood up, meeting me in the middle and grabbed a hold of my chin with his fingers. He kissed me. This kiss was the same one he planted on me in the kitchen the other day. The one that said she’s mine, back off English boy. I pulled back slightly, and gave Ethan a side glance through my bangs. He ran his hand through his hair, then pushed himself off the chair.

             
“Sophie,” Ethan said jumping to his feet. “Everything all right?” His grin widened as I turned to face him. “You’re walking a little funny,” he said, as he glanced at my backside. I’d been pretty sure he’d seen them earlier, but wasn’t positive--now I was positive.

             
My eyes narrowed. “I’m fine.” He better not even go there.

             
He ran his fingers through his hair again, something I noticed he did when he didn’t know what to say or do, and exhaled deeply. He then walked over to the foyer and grabbed a hold of his jacket. “I have to go.”

             
“I thought you were staying in tonight?”

             
“Austin’s still out and I don’t know...I just need to get out of here. Get some bloody air.”
             
He gave one more long look at both of us. “I’ll be back later.”

             
“But...it’s freezing. Where will you go?”

             
Jason tugged on my hand. “Who cares,” he said to me then looked over at Ethan. “Later dude.”

             
With a mean glare at Ethan, Jason pulled me in for another kiss. It was long and a ‘look’ how much I like my girlfriend kinda kiss. At last, when I pulled back, he just stood there with a dumbfounded look. Ethan slipped into his navy peacoat and shook his head before slamming the door behind him.  My brain went into immediate motion, ransacked with different questions. What if he was going to Heather’s? Would he sleep with her this time? If he did, would he come home tonight? Did seeing Jason kiss me cause him to run out?

             
“What the fuck is that dude’s problem?” Jason asked.

             
I shrugged. “I don’t know.” That was a half lie-half truth. I’d been pretty sure he didn’t like the kiss Jason gave me or Jason for that matter.

             
We remained in the living room snuggled up under the same blanket that I shared with Ethan that morning. My thoughts kept drifting back to him. Was he with her now? Would he sleep with her? I shook my head and focused on the action packed movie that I popped in. So, not what I would normally have chosen, but there was no way I was putting on one of my usual sappy chick flicks. Jason probably wouldn’t last five-seconds through a sweet love scene without having his hands groping me. It was hard enough keeping him at bay with this one. What is with guys? They should hand out some kind of book when you hit puberty on how guys want sex and more sex all the time. I mean, I knew it, but some sort of ‘go to” manual would have been helpful.

             
His fingers started to run through my hair, pulling strands gently down around my shoulders when I felt the heat of his breath on my neck. Then his warm lips found their way down to my collarbone where he lingered for a minute. He started to suck which I knew would leave a mark the size of a golf ball. Jason had been famous for his hickeys prior to dating me. Something I somehow managed to avoid.

             
I tilted my neck. “Gosh, I wonder where Ethan went?” I mumbled.

             
I felt his lips freeze instantly, but his mouth remained at the crease of my neck. “What?”

             
I panicked. I don’t even know what came over me. I grabbed his chin forcing him to look me in the eyes. “Kiss me.”

             
There was just no way that I could explain the question about Ethan without causing Jason to wonder. I totally didn’t mean to ask it out loud. It had just been a thought that crept into my brain as Jason was starting to make his move.  Yes, I know that you’re kissing me Jason and getting all hot and heavy, but gee what about that hot boy living with me? That was the thing about Jason, he like every other guy that I knew, had only one thing on his mind. How can I get her to say YES? I longed to find the love that you would see in movies like Say Anything or Sixteen Candles. Hell, I’d even settle for the cheesy love stories on General Hospital.

             
Jason’s kisses always felt wet and sloppy, his hands always worked a little too fast for my liking. It always reminded me of when we got Pixie for a Christmas present a few years ago. She came barreling around the corner when my father released her. She jumped on top of me, paws all over me, licking my face inch by inch. That’s exactly how I felt when Jason started to get going. I didn’t want wet and sloppy. I wanted warm, slow passionate lips. I wanted hands that lingered in just the right spot so I didn’t feel uncomfortable. I wanted someone else.
And I was starting to come to grips with the fact that the guy I really wanted was the one I'd just chased off.

             
I couldn’t go through with it. I tried first by closing my eyes and picturing someone like David Beckham, but that only reminded me of Ethan. So, I reopened them and tried to refocus on Jason. His fingers fumbled with the latch on the back of my bra. When it the last one popped off, the strap loosened and it slipped down my shoulder, leaving me feel more naked than ever. He moved his one hand up to my face, caressing my cheek in between kisses.

             
I rolled over on my side sliding his hand off my chest. I didn’t want this to happen and I knew it. Jason flopped back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. “What now, Soph?”

             
I shrugged and swallowed. “It just...it doesn’t feel like it’s right. It’s not you, really.” If I told the truth that it wasn’t his fault, that I had these feelings for Ethan, how would he react? I didn’t want to hurt him anymore than I probably had by turning him down again.

             
“Sophie, you’re like the only Junior in school that’s a virgin. You do know that, right?”

             
“I seriously doubt Amy Brickmeyer lost her virginity.”

             
“Fine. You’re one of two out of what...like two to three hundred chicks in our class.”

             
That was the thing about the schools in our town were huge. The average graduating class ranged between four and five hundred students.

             
“I’m sure that there’s more than two,” I said. “Besides, what’s the rush?”

             
He cracked his knuckles then sat up, but looked away. “The rush is that I’ll be seventeen next month.”

             
I sat up and re-hooked my bra.“So? It’s not like you haven’t done it before. I heard all about you and Vicky Swallow.”

             
He snorted. “The night with Vicky lasted all about five-seconds. I don’t even count it.” I covered my mouth from laughing out loud.  Jason glared at me and said,“What? It was my first time.”

             
He brushed my hair back with his fingers then began massaging my shoulder. “Please, Sophie. I want to be with you. I know you want to be with me too. Otherwise you wouldn’t have invited me here tonight. I love you. Don’t you love me?” He asked, as his fingers played with my hair.

             
Even though the words were coming out of his mouth I knew they couldn’t be true. Typical guy lie. Do they really think those three little words get girls into bed? Maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. I just know those words really need to mean something before I did anything with anyone. I needed to feel it just as much as he did. The earth needed to feel like it was spinning, my heart needed to race, my hands needed to get clammy at just the thought of him. I wanted the world to stop when it happened. And, right then the earth definitely wasn’t shattering.

             
Pixie’s nose was pressed up against the French doors that I’d closed earlier. She sniffed through the space between the carpet and the wooden frame. I looked over my shoulder staring at the her through the glass doors. I hadn’t even heard the front door open, but Austin was now walking toward the room. “Stop touching me .” I said as I leaned down, grabbing my sweater and pulled it quickly over my head.

             
The door flew open and my brother stood in front of us soaking wet. “Austin, what happened?”

             
“Snowball fight. I lost. Could you make me something to eat?” He looked over toward the couch. My eyes glanced back at Jason who thankfully placed his shirt back on. “Hey, Jason.” Austin waved. “Sorry, didn’t know you were here.”

             
Jason stood up and said, “Nice timing, little man.”