Please Don't Tell (8 page)

             
             
             
             
             
Chapter 8

             
Three and half months had gone by so fast I barely had time to blink. Ethan would be arriving right after the holidays. Which meant my annual trip across country to spend my “used to be” favorite holiday with my Dad and evil step-monster had to come first.

             
I’d always loved Christmas. Austin and I would barrel down the steps in the morning to the smell of chocolate chip pancakes and sausage cooking in the kitchen. The tree would be decorated with all our homemade ornaments from over the years. Presents would be stuffed messily underneath. Since the divorce I lost interest in the holiday. We didn’t have our yearly Christmas Eve bash that everyone looked forward to. It had been the party of all parties year after year. Once Dad left--so did the party.

             
I also missed seeing him lying on the couch in his flannel pajamas. They were a gift from Austin an I and were covered in reindeers; he always wore them. Now that the evil step-mother was in his life, he still wore pajamas, but now they were made from silk and there were no sign of reindeers. I didn’t lose total interest, we still got presents after all, but sometimes I’d find myself plastering on a fake smile for dear ole’Dad.  I’ve wanted so many times to tell him how unhappy it made me that he lived so far away, but the words never came out. I still hadn’t been convinced that the divorce ‘just happened.’ I had been convinced that it had been all Lorna’s fault and I hated her for it. I mean, sure it takes two to tango, but I still couldn’t believe my Dad left us for her.

             
On the plus side, I finally took Jason up on his advances when he asked me to Homecoming. We’d “officially” been a couple for the last few months. I’m still not entirely sure why I decided to give in, but I had an idea. And, it was coming all the way from London. Ethan made me nervous plain and simple. My plan had been to get into a relationship before he arrived--so that’s what I did. Jason and I have been taking it slow. Well, I’ve been taking it slow.  If it were up to Jason we’d have gone all the way at Katie Thomas’ Halloween Party. He had lured me to an empty bedroom, saying he just wanted to talk about our relationship. Sadly, I bought it. Luckily for me he wasn’t too pushy and said he understood that I wasn’t ready. It’s not that I didn’t like Jason--I did. I just wasn’t in love with him. We had fun and I started to like going to the movies or to grab a slice of pizza with him. But that was it.

             
             
             
             
             
             
***

             
One of the more depressing downfalls of spending Christmas in Seattle with my Dad was that I missed the snow. I’d always loved waking up on Christmas morning to the sight of snow falling outside my window. No chance of that here. It only snows once or twice a year here versus almost everyday in Rochester. That’s one of the reasons my father loved it. He’d always hated the snow.

             
My brother didn’t care about the perfect White Christmas. All he cared about was not having to shovel the driveway, so he enjoyed his time there more than me. Right then I would have killed for the chance to have a shovel scooping white fluff into a pile onto the grass. Anything besides waking up to the sound of misty rain tapping on the roof.

             
It wasn’t completely miserable in Seattle. The upside to having to spend Christmas here was that the shopping had been first rate and my Dad’s guilt over the divorce always played in my favor.

             
Yet here we were, since our parents had decided a long time ago that the holidays were to be split evenly. Mom had gotten all the others because Dad wanted Christmas since it had been his favorite too. Each day I’d been counting down the days, marking them off on my little calendar until I could go back home. The last few months of school provided me many things the year before hadn’t. Parties, a valid driver’s license and of course--Jason.  And, I really wanted to get back to Val and my life. My Dad never really seemed to grasp my need for all of that. Or, maybe he did, but he just didn’t care. This had been the only week where he and I would spend some quality time. Me? I loved my father I did, but my entire universe was back in New York.

             
Since my step monster didn’t know how to cook we had to eat at one of her lame restaurants downtown on Christmas Eve. The four of us sat around the linen covered table with a big red poinsettia placed in the middle. The gold rimmed menu offered things I’d never tried before and certainly didn’t intend to start now. My finger ran down the entrees looking for anything familiar when it landed on a chicken dish name I couldn’t pronounce, but sounded somewhat decent. Anything smothered in cheese worked for me. I closed my menu and reached for my soda. As I glanced around the table I almost felt like a scream would burst out of me. I hated having to spend the holidays without my Mom and with Lorna. I glared at her over my drink as she placed her arm around my father. Ugh! I couldn’t wait for eighteen to come so I would be able to decide whether I wanted to come or not.

             
“So, your father tells me that your mother arranged for an exchange student this term,” Lorna (aka step-monster) said in her usual snotty tone.

             
I looked across the table and studied her bright red lipstick. My eyes dropped down to the cleavage that her cashmere sweater barely contained. Gross, what did he see in her? Stupid question. I could probably tell you. I knew exactly what she saw in him, the gold digger.
The good American dollar--that’s what she saw in him. She was only twenty-eight and had a rocking body which I’m sure  hadn’t slipped my fathers attention. But there had to be something else that I had missed, because I’d never known my Dad to be that shallow of a guy. After he remarried my mother pushed herself at the gym to lose those ‘10 pesky pounds’ (her words not mine) and had been committed to fitting into a pair of jeans she had owned. She’d always said she was fine with Lorna, but somehow I doubted it. She had only gone on a handful of dates since the divorce and they were all a bust. EHarmony does not fix you up with the right people--don’t let anyone tell you different.

             
I grabbed a roll and smothered it with the oil dip sitting beside it. “Yep, his name is Ethan.” I looked over at my father. I took a huge chunk out of the bread and chomped a little louder than I probably should. With my mouth full I said, “you know Anna’s nephew.”
             

             
“Sophie, please we are in a restaurant,” Lorna scorned, as her eyes roamed the dining room. “Where are your manners?”

             
I had three words for her. I HATE YOU! Of course, I didn’t say this out loud, but oh how I wanted to. My eyes rested on my father as I waited for him to reprimand her in some way, but it never came. Who did she think she was talking to me like that? Lorna never came out and said anything specific to me, but I always got the feeling that Austin and I were just in the way.  I was pretty positive she’d felt the same about us as we did about her. It was written all over her Lancome plastered face. I only wished my Dad could see it as well. Being part of my Dad’s life was something I prayed she couldn’t and wouldn’t try to take away.

             
My father took a sip of his red wine. “Yes, I remember Ethan very well. Gosh, he was only about twelve or so when we were over in London for a visit. Nice kid.” His hand reached for a roll and I watched as the witch pushed his hand back.

             
“Carbs, dear. Do you really need that?” She asked, smiling then continued to push the basket away. I couldn’t imagine how he put up with her. He was in great shape and a little bread wouldn’t kill him. Trying to understand and interpret their relationship was something I tried to pick apart, but in the end I didn’t have the desire to waste my efforts on her any longer.

             
I glared at her and then shifted my eyes to my Dad. “He’s all right. It’s just going to be a little weird with him there is all.” I glanced over to my father. “What do you think?”

             
Before my Dad could answer, Austin sipped his soda through the straw all the way to the bottom, making slurping noises until it was gone, then chimed in. “I can’t wait for him to come. Do you think he likes to play flag football?” Austin, my brother was ten years old and into any kind of sport you could imagine. He was also great at video games and loved a challenge.

             
“Don’t know, Sport, but I’m sure he’ll toss the ball around if you ask him to.” My father said before turning to me. “I can’t say I’m thrilled, but it is Anna’s nephew so you can understand why your mother agreed.”

             
I nodded. I knew exactly what he meant. She would never turn down anything that Anna asked of her. Anna had always been there for my mother. She was there for their wedding and then right by her side with the divorce and even when my Grandfather Will passed away several years back from cancer. I never got to say good-bye to him face to face, but he took my call and told me he loved me. I’d been told he couldn’t muster up the strength for my visit and he had to have my Grandmother hold the phone to his ear just to have heard my voice. My mother still talks about how she would never have gotten through it if it weren’t for Aunt Anna. They were too close, like real sisters.

             
The entire conversation made me queasy. I managed to avoid the subject all week about Ethan coming to stay with us and in one dinner he was back in my thoughts like he had never left. Ethan would be at my house in just seven days. What the hell was I supposed to do with him?

             
My Dad looked up and swirled his wine around in the glass as the waiter approached. “You should all take him to the condo for some skiing. If I remember correctly he was a really good skier.”

             
Was he serious? How could the idea of me taking Ethan to Lake Placid even enter his mind? Did my parents completely forget the fact that he was a hormonal teenage boy just like the rest of them? I mean what happened to all those lectures I used to get. Boys only want one thing Sophie, blah, blah, blah... And, not only a hormonal teenage boy, but an Abercrombie-looking- hottie with a to-die-for-English/Australian accent to go with it.  I knew he didn’t try anything on the island, but who’s to say that’s not part of his plan? My plan was to avoid him as much as I possibly could. If that would even be possible, I wasn’t sure, but it would be worth a shot. It wasn’t an extravagant plan. I figured I’d spend all my time with Val and Jason leaving little time for Ethan. I’d been sure if I introduced him to the right people he would get too busy to worry about me anyway.

             
After dinner we took the same old carriage ride through the center of town that we took every year. The black carriage had a poor old brown horse tied to the front. The red velvet blanket draped over the carriage waiting to keep everyone warm.  I closed my eyes knowing Christmas was over and that a plane ride home was just what I wanted. No needed. After the ride we always drove to the North side of Seattle to Candy Cane Lane. There’s an area where all the people decorate their houses and invite everyone to come to enjoy the light shows. If I survived the rest of the trip, I would consider myself lucky. The tour of lights had been more for Austin than me, although I admit they were pretty amazing. But, not as amazing as the firework display at the Space Needle on New Year’s Eve. Now that was always quite a display.

             
The day after, and with an extra piece of luggage filled with presents, the three of us were sitting at the gate waiting to board the plane. Lorna had been too tired to join us--thankfully.  I hated leaving my father behind with the step-monster, but he made his choice a few years ago.

             
My dad kissed my cheek as our flight number echoed through the airport. “Call me as soon as you land in Chicago and then again when you make it home, okay?”

             
I nodded and grabbed a hold of his black leather jacket, hugging him one last time. “Bye, Daddy.”

             
He leaned over and tugged on my ponytail. “See you kid.”

             
After he and Austin said goodbye we headed through security and made our way to the gate. With one last glance over my shoulder, I saw my father as he waved with a smile. I always wondered why it seemed so easy for him. Was it really that unemotional saying goodbye to your kids or was that his brave face act? I’d never asked him, probably because I’d been afraid of the answer, so, instead I just smiled and waved back.

             
Stepping onto the plane, we found our seats that were way in the back, of course. I hated sitting at the very back of a plane. Lorna knew I’d hated it and when she booked the tickets she’d probably done that on purpose just to piss me off.  When there was a connection to be made it seemed to take forever to get off with everyone pulling down his or her carry-ons and waiting for everyone to pile out.

             
My only thoughts as we strapped ourselves in were that in ten sweet hours I would be home with my mom and Pixie. I missed Pixie’s warm little body sleeping next to mine. I couldn’t wait for the little white fluff ball to curl up under my blanket keeping my toes warm that night. My mom, I knew had spent the holiday alone and I always hated that. She commented before we left that she had plenty to do since Ethan would be arriving and she wanted to make up the guest room for him.