Poseidon (The God Chronicles) (9 page)

“Pretty boy?”

I snickered into my hand as Mom grinned, the tease in her coming out.

“We’ll see
you in the morning—at a reasonable hour—Sy. Thank you for stopping by.” She sat back down next to me and giggled softly.

“Wait!” There was a few moments silence and I wondered if he’d left. “Hello?”

By this point, Mom was laughing so hard she had to leave the room. I heard Sy sigh and walk from the door.

“Mom?” I asked, wondering where that show had come from.

“I’m sorry, Audrey,” she laughed. “I just wanted him to feel bad for leaving you there. Plus, I never get to be the bad guy. It was kinda fun!”

“Oh, Mom,” I laughed. 

“Call me and let me know how good the apology was,” she instructed, hugging me, again. “I’d better get home. I have stuff to do in the morning.” She picked her purse up off the counter and slung it over her shoulder.

“Thanks again,” I said.

“It’s what moms do,” she reminded me, as she opened the door and left.

I woke early the next morning out of habit and decided to still go for my run, even though I was tired. As I shut the front door behind us, I heard Sy’s being thrown open.

“Audrey! I’m so sorry, please forgive me. I had no idea!” He went on and on without giving me opportunity to even speak. “I was there with you and I didn’t even—”

“Sy,” I said forcibly to get him to stop. “It’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine, but we can’t do anything to change it now. It’s better off left alone.”

“I need to apologize—to explain though.” His eyes pleaded with mine, begging me to hear him out. “Would you come inside for a minute?”

I sighed and nodded, ushering Talley back into our apartment before following Sy into his. It was arranged the same as mine, but it was obvious that a bachelor lived here.

“This really isn’t necessary,” I said, taking a seat on his small, beat up couch.

“It is,” he insisted, sitting next to me. “First there was Ash
, and then the cops . . . I’m just mortified over what happened.” He shifted uncomfortably before continuing.

“Ash is—
she works at a shop in the mall. Whenever she’s on break she comes over to the aquarium to see if I’m on break, too. She’s been asking if I’ll go to dinner with her for a couple weeks. I guess last night I just wanted to see if she was, you know, worth it. But then she was too much for me and I couldn’t get away!”

“And I suppose you were just trying out all those other girls too,” I said, somewhat hurt.

“What? No! Audrey, I didn’t mean to leave you alone like that. I really tried to look for you when the cops showed up, too.”

“Then how did you not get picked up by them?”

“I just didn’t, Audrey.”

“I don’t know that I believe you,” I said, standing. “I mean really, I’m not as upset as I thought I was. But I don’t want to be lied to about everything.”

“I’m not lying!” he said, standing as well.

“I heard you,” I yelled. “I heard you and Ash. I know she asked you to kiss her. I saw you dancing with her and caressing her neck!” I walked over to the door furiously and grabbed the handle.

“We were dancing!” he yelled back. “What was I supposed to do? Stand on the other side of the room from her? And yes, she asked me to kiss her, but I didn’t!”

“I don’t think I can be friends with a liar,” I said, fighting the stupid tears that were forming in my eyes.

“Audrey, don’t say that,” he said, his voice softening.

I couldn’t understand my emotions again, rolling around like seaweed in the surf. All of my jealousy had returned, powering the unusual amount of anger I was feeling towards him.

“Goodbye, Sy,” I said tearfully, turning the knob in my hand.

Before I could
even crack open the door, he was behind me, hands on my shoulders. With a force that surprised me, he spun me around and pushed me up against it, taking my face in his hands.

Time
was frozen as his lips pressed against mine in a desperate frenzy, stealing my breath and shocking me to the core. His hot breath washed over my face as his hands slid to my neck, whispering softly over my skin.

Gathering all of my strength, I pushed him from me and wrenched the door open, running for the
safety of my own home.

“
Audrey, wait!” his voice called out behind me, pleading. “Please!”

I reached my own door and ran inside without looking back, slamming it shut and collapsing on the floor in a pile of shame and tears.

He kissed me! I touched my lips with shaking fingers, not believing what had just happened. As I pulled my hand back, the glittering band on my finger flashed in the morning light.

What have I done?

I sobbed harder, not understanding why he would do something so cruel.

“Audrey?” His voice came from the other side of the door, soft and apologetic. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. Please, talk to me.”

I stood, tears still streaming down my face and quietly locked the deadbolt on the door before going to my room. John’s picture smiled at me from the nightstand as always, no accusations in his face. Guilt racked through me all the same, tearing my now fragile being into more pieces.

“John, I’m sorry,” I sobbed. “I didn’t ask him to. He just did it. Please, forgive me,” I cried, asking for a pardon because I enjoyed Sy’s kiss. I laid down on the bed and curled up into a ball, my plans for the day forgotten.

“
Audrey?”

I opened my eyes, waking from the nap I’d been taking. The news was playing on the television, a sure sign I’d fallen asleep during a show earlier.

“Audrey, please talk to me. I’ve been thinking about what happened all day.” Sy sounded even more apologetic than he had this morning, but I stayed where I was.

I wanted to let him in
though. I wanted to fling open the door and kiss him again. Every inch of me craved to have his hands on me once more—it scared me senseless.

“
Audrey, I have something I want—I need to say to your face. Please, let me in.”

When I still didn’t open the door to him, he sighed and continued.

“You’re not going to let me in, are you?” Suddenly, there was a loud pounding on the door and, out of nowhere, he started to yell. “Do you think I want to feel this way? I bet you just lie around and imagine how you’re making me pine after you! Well, guess what? I don’t want to have feelings for a widow! Especially one who can’t let go of her dead husband!”

I sucked in a breath, the words like a slap in the face. Tears pricked
in my eyes and I pulled a pillow over my head in an effort to shut his ranting out.

Then, just as suddenly as it started, his yelling stopped.

“I didn’t mean that last part. I just—” A sigh of frustration escaped him. “I can’t control my feelings, Audrey. I don’t want to look at you and think of every place I could kiss, or how much I want to hold your hand. I’m tired of trying to fight it off though.”

I didn’t respond, his confession having shocked me further.

“I’m not looking for anything serious,” he continued. “I’m not even wanting a one night stand. But then I look at you and I . . . I don’t know Audrey. Don’t leave me out here alone. Not after all I’ve said.”

I
removed the pillow from my face and held my left hand up. The wedding ring on my finger still glittered like the day I’d been given it.

“I can’t,” I said softly. “I’m not ready.”

Chapter Nine

To say that Sy’s confession strained our friendship was an understatement. Pretty much, there was no more friendship.  I avoided him, he would knock on my door every night and ask me to let him in or go somewhere. It was horrible.

I understood what he had said
all the same. The idea of throwing caution to the wind and going with him was very appealing to me. Whenever I would think about it, or put my hand on the door to let him in, I would catch a glimpse of my ring. Try as I might, I couldn’t bring myself to take it off yet. It was starting to feel like a prison.

I was extremely grateful
when it was time for me to go back to my job at the high school. I had a reason to go somewhere and my old friends were there. It was true that they acted like I would burst into tears at any time, but they were better than nothing.

As I sat down behind my desk
after my absence, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Finally. Something normal and safe.

A few other secretaries came in and settled down as well, ready to field the calls we would be getting about enrollment over the next few weeks, until classes started.

“Hi,
Audrey!” Amy, the bubbly woman I shared the corner with swooped down and gave me a big hug. “You look so wonderful! How was your summer? Did everything go okay?”

There it was—the one question tacked onto the end that basically meant
, “You didn’t try to kill yourself, did you?”

“It was great,” I said, choosing not to answer her last question. “How was yours?”

“Oh, let me tell you all about it!”

And there was the second part of the “check up on
Audrey” program. It entailed talking about anything and everything that didn’t have to do with water, husbands, babies, or me.

“And we’re expecting a baby! Oh—”
Her rambling cut off suddenly, realizing she had delved too far into her own happiness. “I’m so sorry, Audrey. I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that.”

Well, at least I’d gotten all three out of the way first thing in the morning.

The day went smoothly, with hardly any more “Audrey” moments, which I was extremely grateful for. I was so sick of everyone apologizing to me for things that weren’t their fault. Even Sy had apologized profusely when he’d discovered I’d lost my husband.

On my way out the door, I bent to take a drink from the water fountain. Stupidly, I
managed to shoot myself in the face with the stream and choked as it ran out my nose and mouth. Suddenly, a faint memory filled my mind. It was more a memory of a sensation—of water being drained out of me. Or was it pulled?

“Are you okay,
Audrey?” Amy asked from behind me as I stood, one hand on my head.

“Yeah,” I said slowly. “I thought I remembered something.”

“Well, that’s good,” she rushed, moving around me in a desperate attempt to escape, before I brought up anything that happened to me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay,” I said, still standing by the fountain.

Water doesn’t get pulled out of you from CPR, it gets pushed out. Right?
What I’d remembered didn’t make any sense.

“Well, I guess it’s better than nothing,” I mumbled as I left the building. Maybe I could talk to Mary about it at our next visit.

When I’d first started out with therapy, I went once a week. Gradually, I’d worked myself back to once a month at the beginning of summer. After this month, I’d be moving even further back to once every other month. At first it seemed ridiculous to go so frequently, but it helped me so much that I had no problem with it now. However, I wasn’t looking forward to talking about Sy. I knew Mary would immediately want to know what had transpired as soon as she saw us out together.

I made the short drive home easily, smiling softly as I passed the apartments where John and I used to live. Happiness filled me
, as I realized the things I’d loathed remembering before were now good memories.

Once home, I quickly made my way to the apartment, hoping I wouldn’t
inadvertently run into Sy. A long, relieved breath escaped me as I shut the front door behind me.

I began my usual routine of making dinner while watching the news after opening the balcony door for Talley
and letting her use her potty pad. For the first time in a while, I felt absolutely normal. It was strange, feeling like my own person finally.

Loud barking drew my attention to the
patio where Talley was frantically trying to get to something.

“Leave that poor cat alone,” I scolded, going outside to hush her.

“I’m not a cat,” Sy’s gruff voice came from beneath me.

I shrieked in shock and looked down at the man hanging from my balcony. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to get you to talk to me,” he huffed, pulling himself up higher.

“You’re going to get yourself killed!” I stepped forward, uncertain of how I could help him—I wasn’t that strong.

“Unlikely.” With a few more deep breaths, he pulled himself up and over the railing the rest of the way.

“How did you even get hold of the bottom?”

“I jumped.”

My eyes bugged out of my head as my mouth popped open in surprise. “You jumped?”