Promise Me (15 page)

“I’ve raised three boys, Jack. I’m not blind.”

Yeah, okay, she had a point.

“I know, but you’re not supposed to know that any of us have had fakes,” I told her, and she just laughed.

“Okay, then we’ll just pretend that I don’t know. But on the off-chance you’re interested, I’ve got beer in the fridge. I’m sure your uncle wouldn’t mind if you had a few.”

“Seriously?” I questioned, because Aunt Deena offering me a beer was not exactly normal.

She shrugged. “Why not. You’re almost twenty-one.”

So weird.
“Maybe with dinner,” I told her as I took a sip of my iced tea.

She nodded. “So how’s my son?” she asked, changing the subject to something much more comfortable. “Is he doing alright? I never hear from him.”

“Logan’s good. He’s with Kelly a lot these days, so I only see him once or twice a week.”

“Is he going to marry her?” Aunt Deena asked, and I wasn’t exactly sure what to say.

Logan had only been with his girlfriend for a few months. I wasn’t sure he was even thinking that far ahead, and if he was, we’d never talked about it. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised by the question. Aunt Deena was forever trying to marry us off to girls she liked. I knew she’d been over the moon when Gunnar had proposed to his fiancée, Janelle.

“You know, I think it’s too early to tell,” I said vaguely, because Logan would kill me if I gave his mother any reason to believe he’d found ‘the one’.

We all knew it was better to keep things like that from Aunt Deena until they were real. She’d no doubt start planning the wedding before he’d even thought about popping the question.

“He’s bringing her to Gunnar and Janelle’s wedding,” my aunt said pointedly.

“I’m not sure that means anything. I think he just needed a date.”

“I like her,” Aunt Deena said, telling me what I already knew.

She’d liked Kelly from the second she met her. We all had, although I was still trying to figure out what she saw in Logan. He didn’t exactly seem like her type, and she wasn’t really his. He’d historically gone after party girls who liked to have fun, and he didn’t really do the girlfriend thing. Kelly was in school to be a vet, she was super-laid back, and she didn’t really party, but for some reason, Logan was enamored with her. In fact, he’d started calling her his girlfriend after only a few weeks.

“I like her too,” I agreed.

“So what about you?” Aunt Deena asked me suggestively.

“What about me?” I questioned, playing dumb but knowing exactly where she was going with her question. The gleam in her eye didn’t exactly sit well with me.

“How are things with Alyssa?”

“They’re fine,” I said, purposefully not elaborating.

“I can’t wait to meet her,” she said, and the one thing I’d been trying to avoid was suddenly staring me in the face.

Because of how my aunt’s mind worked, I’d intentionally held off on letting her meet Alyssa. But she was my date for Gunnar’s wedding, so I wouldn’t exactly have a choice about her meeting my family in a little over a month. I just hoped my aunt didn’t get any crazy ideas that I definitely wasn’t ready to think about.

“I can’t wait for you to meet her either,” I lied, trying to sound sincere.

She smiled. “So, what else is new with you? Are your classes going well?”

I nodded. “Yup, everything’s good.”

“And how’s Charlie.”

I let out a barking laugh. “He’s exposed to too much at his age, and he uses it for evil, but I’m working on it with him.”

“For evil?” she questioned, sounding amused.

She loved hearing stories about Charlie, since he was too precocious for his own good most of the time. And I enjoyed telling her all about the things I put up with where my ‘little brother’ was concerned.

“To tease and torture me,” I explained. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Well, he’s lucky to have you. I wish you would have had someone like that when you were his age.”

I nodded. My aunt was always great about bringing up the things I didn’t want to talk about, but she only ever did it when we were alone. I’d been confiding in her since the beginning, and she knew about most of the painful things I’d gone through as a kid. My cousins didn’t know half of it, and there were things I’d probably never tell then – especially now – but Aunt Deena was still who I sought out when I needed to talk.

“I had someone when I was Charlie’s age,” I reminded her.

She nodded. “I know. You had Kate, but she was the same age as you, and she was dealing with her own struggles. I would have liked you to have an older role model.”

“Yeah, I guess that would have been alright,” I told her, even though I knew it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Back then I wouldn’t have told anyone what my dad was doing to my mom and me and how afraid of him I was. I only told Kate, because she already knew – and I’d only ever told her about my mom. She had no idea my dad ever touched me, and I’d never wanted her to find out. But she’d seen the bruises my dad had left on my mom, and I knew she could hear him ranting about our trailer night after night. Even though she never said anything about what was going on at my house, I knew she’d known long before I told her.

Silenced descended on us as I thought about telling Aunt Deena about Kate. I hadn’t told anyone that she’d resurfaced in my life, mostly because Kate still wasn’t aware of it. I felt like she needed to know before I started telling other people about her.

“What’s on your mind, Jack?” my aunt asked, calling me out before I could open my mouth.

I looked up at her, knowing she’d given me the opportunity I’d been waiting for. As soon as I saw the look on her face I’d seen so many times before – the look that told me I was safe, that I could talk to her, and that I could trust her – I blurted out, “Kate’s the reason I’ve been going to Ray’s so much.”

Aunt Deena looked appropriately surprised, but I knew that no matter what I said, no judgement would pass her lips. She’d listen, she might give me advice, but more than anything, she’d let me get off my chest the things that had been eating away at me for the past few weeks.

I knew that was why I’d come home. I’d told myself it was because I hadn’t seen my aunt and uncle since August, but in reality, I’d wanted to talk to Aunt Deena. It was why I’d picked a day I knew my Uncle Rob was out golfing and wouldn’t be back until dinnertime. I needed to tell someone about Kate, and I couldn’t think of anyone better than the person I’d told all my secrets to.

“Kate?” Aunt Deena questioned when she’d regained her composure. “What do you mean?”

“She’s a server there. She’s also in my Macroeconomics class, and she’s my neighbor.”

Aunt Deena looked even more shocked. “Kate from Indiana?”

I nodded. “Yeah, Kate from Indiana.”

“I don’t understand. What’s she doing in Austin?”

“She’s going to UT. She transferred there this year.”

Aunt Deena blinked a few times. “And you knew about this? I thought you hadn’t been in contact with her.”

“I hadn’t been. In fact, before a few weeks ago, I hadn’t talked to her since I left Rally Falls. I didn’t even know it was her when we first met. I didn’t make the connection, and then suddenly it was so obvious to me who she was.”

“Wow, Jack, that’s incredible. Or is it?” she asked, most likely trying to figure out what I was thinking.

“No, it’s incredible,” I agreed. “It’s the last thing I ever expected, but it’s been amazing to get to know her again.”

“And she was excited to see you too?”

I cringed inwardly as she asked that. “She, uh, she actually doesn’t know who I am.”

“What do you mean?”

I felt my shoulders sink. “I, uh, I figured out who she was, but she never made the connection. Of course I can see why she wouldn’t,” I said quickly. “I’m a completely different person than I was – in looks and in name. And it’s not like she’d realize who I was if she looked at my credit card or a piece of mail or anything. The name Jack Kinsley means nothing to her, and I know I look nothing like the scrawny, disheveled, scrappy kid I was at twelve.”

Aunt Deena smiled, probably because she could tell I was babbling out of nervousness.

“You haven’t changed that much.”

I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Okay, fine, you’ve changed a lot. I guess it’s just easier for me to see you as a twelve year-old boy, because it was my first memory of you. And I never thought you were scrappy or disheveled. You were scrawny, but we took care of that pretty quickly.”

I smiled. “You did, and because you fed me so well, I filled out, grew a foot and a half, and basically grew up. I know I don’t look the same. But Kate looks so much like she did when we were kids. It’s crazy. And sometimes she says things that completely take me back in time. It’s such a head trip.”

“So, you’ve talked to her?”

“Oh yeah. We’re actually friends. She just doesn’t know that we have history, and I haven’t really figured out how to tell her. In the beginning, I tried to say things that I thought might trigger her memory or make her realize who I was, but it never seemed to work. I guess she doesn’t remember me like I remember her.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.”

I shrugged. “I’m not really offended by it. It just would have been easier than having to tell her the truth.”

“I suppose that’s true, but Jack, you really should tell her. She was your best friend. Don’t you think she’d want to know?”

“If I’m being honest, I don’t know. I guess I just have this irrational fear that she’ll hate me or something.”

“Why would you think that?”

I shook my head as I thought about how I wanted to say what had been on my mind for the past few weeks. Everything with Kate and me ended so abruptly. I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye to her. One minute I was taking notes in math class, and then next the vice principal was calling me out of the room. I was ushered to his office where two police officers and a woman wearing a suit were waiting for me.

I knew instantly that something was wrong. I could tell from the looks on their faces that something had happened, and ironically, my first thought was of my dad. I’d known how drunk he was the night before. I’d heard him slurring and ranting, and when he’d left in his truck, I’d assumed he was going back to the bar.

I wondered if he had crashed his truck, and I felt bad thinking about how many times he’d driven drunk out of his mind before something had finally happened. I’d known it was only a matter of time. And a huge part of me had felt relief, because if he was gone, he wouldn’t be able to hurt my mother and me any longer. But of course, I’d been wrong.

I should have known that if something had happened to my father, my mother would have been there to tell me. And when the woman in the suit sat down next to me and told me that she was from social services, I felt my stomach tighten. I immediately wondered if Kate had told someone about my situation at home. Then I wondered if I was going to be taken away from my parents because it wasn’t safe for me to live with them anymore.

Looking back, I wished that had been the case, because as the woman had started speaking, she let me know what had really happened. Of course she minced words for my protection, but I found out later what my dad had done – every dirty, disgusting detail.

While I’d been at school, he’d come home. He was beyond drunk, and he was pissed that my mom kicked him out the night before. So he’d started hitting her, and he didn’t stop. And then for good measure, he’d stabbed her multiple times. Then he’d left her on the floor of our dingy trailer, bleeding and probably clinging to life. Two hours later, he’d driven to the police station and turned himself in. By the time the paramedics got to her, she was dead.

Dread had filled me as I’d sat there and listened, because when I’d left Kate’s that morning and had gone home to change for school and get my backpack, I hadn’t even opened my mother’s bedroom door to say goodbye to her. I’d let her sleep, tried to be as quiet as possible, and then I’d headed back out to meet Kate to catch our bus, figuring I’d see my mom later. Had I known that wouldn’t be the case, I would have taken the time to hug her and tell her how much I loved her.

Then I was told that my dad was in jail, and he was probably going to stay there for a long time, because he’d made a full confession. My mother was gone, and my aunt from Texas, who I didn’t even know existed, was coming to get me.

I was in shock. Everything had happened so fast, and in an instant, my world had been turned on its head. I knew next to nothing about Texas, and suddenly I was being sent to live there.

I remembered nodding to the woman from social services, who was looking at me sympathetically. She told me she was going to take me somewhere until my aunt arrived, and then they would release me to her. I’d just nodded, not sure what I was supposed to say.

In fact, I didn’t really say much that whole day. I just sat in a room at the police station feeling disconnected from what was going on around me, not entirely sure what was happening. I wasn’t allowed to see my mother’s body, and I wasn’t allowed to go home. It was a crime scene, so it couldn’t be compromised, but I was sure that was just what they were telling me because they really didn’t want me to see the gruesome scene my dad had left behind.