Protective Love (Hidden Secrets) (26 page)

“Never again.  You hear me?” He whispered.

I nodded my head – it was all I could do.  He turned back to the girl behind the counter who still was flirting. 

What the hell is wrong with this girl?  Did she not just see him kiss me?

“My girlfriend is not trash.  I came here to pick her up, not to
collect
her.  You should really be careful who you flirt with.  You could get yourself into serious trouble.  If my daughter ever does that kind of stuff - no, she won’t ever do that kind of stuff, because she’ll have respect, common sense, and class!”

We left the office and a very stunned girl behind.  Part of me wanted to feel bad for her, but what Jason said was true.  That girl could approach the wrong guy and not see tomorrow.  She needed to be careful.  The thought of what that little girl could run into made me shudder.

Sitting in the car on the way back, my mind could not get off the last attack.  Why in the hell would he come after me?  It just didn’t make sense.  He had been close to the family for years, and now this.  How did he know about everything?  Was he working with Alex?  I groaned.

“What’s wrong?”

“I, uh, I was just thinking.”

“Not anything good by the sounds of it.  Why don’t you just for now think about only happy things?  Maybe taking your mind off everything will help.”

“Easy for you to say.  You’re not involved in this,” I snapped.

Jason pulled over to the side of the road and got out.  He walked over to my side
, pulled open my door, and pulled me out of the car – I barely had time to get my seatbelt off.  Once I was standing in front of him, he smashed his lips down onto mine.  The kiss was intense, and I responded in seconds.  He leaned into me, and I could feel his hardness pressed into me.  The tension left my body, leaving behind a humming feeling that I’d never felt before.  All the new feelings and emotions that Jason caused me were a lot to get used to.  Sometimes they were overwhelming.

Jason pulled back and lifted my face to look in my eyes.  He was breathing
heavily from the kiss.  The way this man affected me still shocked me.  He had me thinking about things I had never thought about before.

“Don’t you dare say I’m not involved in this.  I’m with you
, Kayla!  What affects you affects me.  If you think none of this kills me and scares the shit out of me, you’re wrong!”

“Then maybe you should leave.  If I’m causing you so much trouble, then just let me leave.”

“Damn it, Kayla!  I want to be with you. All the shit that is going on will be over soon and we will no longer have to look over our shoulders.  We’ll be just you and me.  I’m sorry if I worry that one morning I will wake up and I’ll have been too late to save you.  I’m sorry if I worry I might lose you forever.  Kay, you mean the world to me.  If I lost you…” he trailed off.

The sadness on his face almost killed me.  I knew how he felt because I felt the same about him.  I
knew that I loved him, but to tell him that was proving a lot harder than I thought it would.  Every day I saw him, I wanted to scream it to him.  Then something always seemed to happen or I would just plain freeze. 

Maybe if he just said it first
, I could say it back.  Maybe in my mind, I just don’t want the rejection if he doesn’t feel the same way about me.

“I know.  I feel the same.  Jason, you don’t understand.  Every time
… every attack, I lose a piece of myself.  I don’t have many pieces left.  Why would you want to be around that?”

“Sunshine, you just don’t see yourself how I see you.  Hell
, not just me, but others too.  You’re so much more than what Alex is doing to you.  You’re broken, yes, but not beyond repair.  Give me time.  I’ll fix this and give you your life back.”

I nodded my head.  What could I say to that?  Of all the men in all the world
, why did the most undamaged man have to want me?  As we got back into the car, I suddenly remembered the first day after reporting about the rapes.  He had been hurt - damaged in some way.  I wondered if he would ever tell me.  There was no way I was asking him.  When it was me being questioned, I didn’t like it.  He would tell me when he was ready.  Whenever that was.

Closing my eyes, I needed to shut out the day.  It was just too much in such a short time to process.  I needed a break from everything to give my brain some time to reboot.  My head was spinning with the most recent events
, and still so many damn questions played in my head.

How did he know about everything?

Shooting up in my seat, when a sudden thought occurred to me. 

“Son of a bitch!”

Jason jerked the car to the side suddenly and cursed. 

“Are you okay?”

“No I need you to go to my dad’s office now!”

“Okay, but we are still about twenty minutes away.”

“Fine just get us there as fast as you can.”

Leaning back in my seat, I tried to calm my anger.  Taking long deep breaths wasn’t helping with my anger at all.  The longer I sat in
the car, the more my anger built up in me.  The twenty minutes that it took to get to the office only served to build my anger more.  I jumped out of the car before Jason even had time to park. 

I ran into the office.  The secretary
tried to stop me, but I wasn’t having it today either.  She was already told by my dad that I could interrupt anytime.  Well, I was just about to test that.  I flung his door open and it banged off the wall.  My father jumped and looked up from his desk.  He smiled at me and started getting up from his desk.

“No.  Get Elijah in here
- now! Then stay on that side of the room.” 

His smile faded and he nodded.

Jason came into the room, followed shortly by Elijah.  I slammed the door shut.  Everyone looked at me like I had grown two heads.

“When I came to you guys, you promised me that what I said in this office went no further than us.  You want me to trust you
; you want me to run to you when I need help.  How the hell can I do that when I can’t even fucking trust you!” I screamed.

“Kayla, you need to calm down.  What are you talking about?  We haven’t spoken to anyone about this.”

“Bullshit!  I was attacked because of it!”

“Kay
, now that’s not fair.  You know that Alex has been—”

“IT WASN’T ALEX!” I screamed at the top of my lungs.

Everyone stopped moving and stared at me.  I could see Jason out of the corner of my eye and the anger was plain as day on his face.  Eli walked up to me and put his hands on my shoulders.  He started talking, but the rage that boiled in me was deafening.  His mouth was moving, but I couldn’t hear any words.  It happened in slow motion it seemed.  My fist hit his stomach, and then my knee to his groin.

Jason got up and rushed to separate me from Eli, but I was pushed over the edge this time and I just wanted to hurt him.  I was swinging
, kicking, and screaming.  It wasn’t until Jason groaned that I snapped out of my rage, realizing I had hurt him in the process.  Tears immediately pooled in my eyes.

“I’m sorry Jason.  I’m so sorry
,”  I whispered.

I looked at my brother and my father.  It broke my heart to see what I had done.  My life was spinning out of control and there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop it.  I was just spinning out of control and no wall in sight.

“I’m going fucking crazy.  You guys will have your proof soon.  He didn’t use a condom.”

I turned and ran from the room. Never
had there been a day in my life that I have been violent.  I tried all those times that Alex would come around, but it had never been effective.  Back there in my dad’s office, though, it was effective.

I am officially going crazy!  I am losing my fucking mind.  I attacked my fucking brother and hurt Jason!  Oh
God! I hurt Jason.

I continued to run
, completely lost in thought.  The surroundings were a blur and the sounds were distant.  When my lungs burned, I stopped running.  Looking around, I took in my surroundings, and realized I had no idea where I was.  A little panic started to bubble to life. 

Trees were to my left and a fence on my
right.  There was not a single house in sight.  I was in the country; near farms.

How far did I run?

Not knowing where I was scared me. Feeling the pocket of my jeans, I felt my phone.  A little bit of relief formed, but when I saw that there was no signal, that the little relief disappeared. I started walking back in the direction from whence I came.

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

~JASON~

By the time I got outside, Kayla was nowhere in sight.  She knew damn well I hated her running off like
that.  I got in the car and started to drive around looking for her, though I wasn’t sure where to look.

As the time passed and the sun set
, I began to worry about her safety.  What if I couldn’t find her?  I had driven all over the fucking city and hadn’t had a single glimpse of her.

“Where the fuck are you?” I yelled.

Pulling up near her dad’s office, I looked around.  Which way could she have gone?  My phone scared me when it rang.

“Shit! Kayla, I have been searching everywhere for you.  Where are you?”

There was no answer, but a crackling on the phone.  I checked the phone to see if there was still a connection.

“Sunshine, please answer me.  Where are you?”

“… Don’t… where… at… lost…” 

“Kay, the connection is shit.  Can you hear me at all?”

“Yes.”

Thank God!  She can hear me.

After some very difficult conversations, I got the general idea of which direction she ran.  Knowing that she was so far out scared me.  This psycho—no apparently there are two psychos—was out there and on the loose.

After a few minutes of driving, I caught sight of someone walking in my headlights.  I pulled over and put the car in park and got out.  I watched as she turned around to start walking the other direction.

“Sunshine?”

She turned and ran toward me.  I ran toward her, meeting half way. 
Her arms flew around my neck mine around her waist.  Holding her tightly, I began to walk us back to the car.

“I’m sorry Jason.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Hey, I know you didn’t.  Though, baby, I feel like you’re hiding something from me.”

“Jason please don’t ask me.  Please
, I beg you, don’t ask me.”

Why wouldn’t she tell me? 
Have I not proven that I was there for her and only her?  The thought depressed me; she didn’t trust me.

“Jason
, don’t.  I know what you’re thinking.  I trust you, but this… you need to see the facts before I talk about it.  Please.  I need you to
trust
me on this.”

I didn’t like that she couldn’t talk to me about it, but if this was the way she felt better playing it out
, then I had no choice.  Sighing, I nodded my head and helped her into the car. 

The drive to her condo was quiet. 
We were both lost in our own swirling questions.  My prominent thought was if she’d let me stay with her through the night.  It was odd feeling that way, but I just felt better knowing that I was next to her at night.  That night with her by my side in the hospital was the best night’s sleep I’d had in a long time. 

Pulling up to her condo, I got out and tried to brace myself for her to tell me it was time to go home. 
As much as I was trying to prepare myself, it was going to be hard when she said it, no matter what.  In such a short amount of time, I had become attached to her.  We walked up to her door in silence, each of us carrying some of her sister’s things.

Mary greeted us at the door
, and I carried what I had inside, setting it on the table.  Mary was talking to Kayla.  I stood there for a few minutes waiting, but when Kayla made no attempt to ask me to stay I headed out the door.  My heart grew heavier with each step I took away from her.  In my head, I told myself that I would come back the following morning.  Part of me worried though, that this was the beginning of the end.

Opening and closing my car door was like pushing the knife all the way into my heart.  As I drove away, it was like the knife
was twisting in my heart. 

How did I become this guy?  How did I become the guy that hurt because he couldn’t spend every moment with a girl?
 

Kayla happened.  Kayla was unlike any woman I
had ever come across.  She was not needy or selfish; she cared more about others than herself.  Kayla never focused on her own problems if someone she cared about had a problem.  She never put herself first.  That set Kayla on a whole new playing field than any other woman, and it made me long to be around her.

The drive to my house seemed to take forever, but as I pulled my car into the garage and walked
inside my house, everything felt different.  My house had once been my sanctuary.  It was once the place I came to get away from everything and just relax.  As I walk in and set my keys on my kitchen counter that evening, it felt like anything but a sanctuary.  It felt cold, hollow, and empty.  It lacked love, and a beautiful curly haired woman singing as she cooks.  I walked back to my room and shed my clothes before climbing into bed.

I looked out of the balcony doors and thought to myself how Kayla would love
the view.

Ugh!  Tonight
is going to be a long night, I can already tell!

I watched the moon dance on the water as the wind blew ripples across the lake. 
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been watching the moon’s reflection, but I finally felt my eyelids get heavy, and I fell asleep.

“No, sunshine.  I’ll come by around quitting time and pick you up.  It’s okay.  I understand.  I love you.”

“I love you too.”

The call ended. 
I had so much to get done that day; I really needed to get a move on before I couldn’t get anything accomplished at all.  I set about cleaning up the previous night’s mess.  I didn’t want Kayla to come home and have to deal with anything.  I had just finished loading the dishwasher when my phone started ringing.

“Yeah?”

“Hey man!  Long time no talk.  You done being pussy whipped enough to hang out.”

“Ass. 
Yeah, you can head on over.  I need a break.”

“Great on my way.”

Once Nate arrived, the day flew by and before I knew it, I needed to go pick Kayla up.  Nate decided to take off too, but he didn’t need to.  Kayla considered him a part of the family as much as I did.  Finally convincing him to come back for supper, I headed out to pick Kayla up.

Walking into the clinic, I was immediately greeted by Jenny.  She was beyond thrilled that I was able to break through to Kayla.

“Hello Jenny.  Kayla in her office?”

“Yeah, she’s in a
meeting, but I’m sure you wouldn’t be a bother.”

“Great.  I wi—”

My sentence was broken off when I heard a scream.  I looked at Jenny and she shrugged.  I walked closer to the office and heard it again.  This time I was certain and it was my girl behind that door screaming. 

“Call Nate!  Tell him to get here NOW!” 

I kicked at the door several times before finally gaining entrance.  Kayla’s limp body lay on the floor with a man standing over her.  I attacked before Nate finally got there and took over.  I had torn the guy up pretty bad and I didn’t care.

Rushing to Kayla’s side, I checked for a pulse and I couldn’t find one.

“Kayla, baby, please wake up.  Please!” I sobbed.

The ambulance came in and began to work on her.  I didn’t recognize her.  She was so beaten that I couldn’t even recognize her.  Ten minutes later the paramedics talked to Nate, who then came over to me with a saddened face.  I stared at him in horror.

“Jason, she didn’t make it.”

“No! No! She has to make it!  I couldn’t be too late!  No!”

Nate tried to calm me, but when they pushed past me with Kayla on the stretcher and the sheet over her face.  I broke.  I screamed as loud as humanly possible.  Tears coursed down my face.

I jolted up in the bed when I heard a scream.  It took me a moment longer to realize the one screaming was me.  A nightmare
; I’d had a nightmare.  My first nightmare since I was a kid and it really spooked me. 

What if I can’t save her?  What if I can’t get to her in time?

I brought my hand to my face, and it shook from the images of the nightmare still playing in my head.

The thought of not being able to save her broke me like nothing ever could.  This was my Kayla.  My love.  The love of my life.  If anyone
was supposed to save her, it was me.  The beginning of the dream started off so well, too.  She had said she loved me.  Just the thought of her saying that filled me up with so much love that the fear and sadness from the nightmare passed.  Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was only one in the morning.  I laid back down and hoped that I could fall back asleep with no further nightmares.

The silence in the house was deafening.  I was just about to
doze off when I heard my phone signal that there was a text.  I got up and headed to the kitchen to retrieve my phone.

Kayla
:  I can’t sleep.  Are you awake?

Me
:  Neither can I.

Kayla
: Are you mad at me?

Me
:  What?  Mad at you?  No.  Why would you ask?

Kayla
:  Because you didn’t even say goodbye or ask to stay.

Me
:  I didn’t ask because you didn’t offer.  I wanted to, but you didn’t seem to want me there.

Kayla
:  Not true!  I always want you here.  Can I ask you something?

Me
:  Sunshine you can always ask me anything.

Kayla
:  Since you can’t sleep and I can’t sleep, would you want to come over so maybe we can both get some sleep?

I smiled down at my phone.  I
knew how hard that must have been asking me that.  She wasn’t one to ask for anything.  Which I was just realizing why she always waited for me to ask.  God, I love her!

Me
:  Sunshine, all you have to do is ask.  I will do anything for you.

Kayla
:  Sooo you’re coming over then?

Me
:  Hell yes!  I’m not missing out on having you in my arms.  On my way.

Kayla
:  See you soon.

Hurrying to my room, I packed a bag with a few things and headed out the door. 
The drive back seemed to take forever, but for a different reason.  I lived outside of town, but thankfully because of the time the drive time was cut almost in half.  I took the steps three at a time.  I knocked on her door and waited.  It seemed like an eternity before she opened the door.

She motioned for me to come in and put her finger to her lips to tell me to be quiet.  We quietly walked back to her room and the minute her door was shut I tossed my bag and pulled her into my arms and kissed her.  The minute her lips touched mine, the dream seemed to just seep out of my body.  She wrapped her arms around my ne
ck and I pulled her closer to me and backed her up to the wall.  She tensed slightly when I pressed into her.  It wasn’t a major tense, but enough that I could feel it.  I broke the kiss.

“Sorry. 
Honestly, this isn’t why I wanted to stay.  I just couldn’t help myself.”

“It’s okay, Jason.  Please don’t apologize.  I’m just still a little raw.”

“I understand sunshine.  Let’s just go to bed.”

She nodded and I shed my clothes down to my boxers and climbed into bed next to her.  Pulling her to my chest and wrapping my arm around her, she rested her head on my chest and took a deep breath.  When I knew she was asleep, I kissed the top of her head.

“Goodnight my love.  I love you,” I whispered.