Protective Love (Hidden Secrets) (34 page)

“May I go in and sit with her?”

“Of course.”

I said nothing else
; just moved into the room.  My focus was on Kayla and Kayla only.  For however long it took, I was not leaving her side.  I didn’t care what they said.  There was no way I was leaving her - not now, not ever.

The days passed in a blur and before I knew it
, a week had passed.  Nate came into the room.  He had a huge smile on his face. Glaring at him, he dropped his smile.

“I don’t see what is worth having to smile over.  Kayla is still not waking up.”

“What if I told you that we got Alex?”

My head whipped over to him.

“What?” I breathed.

“Yeah, bro, we got him. 
Dale sang like the fucking rat that he is.  He told us where to find him and everyone involved.  Be glad that this happened because had Dale not gotten to her first… man it wouldn’t have been pretty.”

“I’m supposed to be glad that this happened?” I hissed.

“Not what I meant, Jay, and you know it,” he snapped back.  “Anyway, I wanted to bring you some food and see if I can’t convince you to leave the hospital for a bit and get some fresh air.”

“Nope.”

“You look like hell.  You’re going to scare her when she wakes up.”

I didn’t care.  I hadn’t shaved in a while and took
a quick shower in the room down the hall.  I didn’t want to be gone when she woke up. 

If she woke up.

“I don’t care.  I’m not leaving her side.”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

~KAYLA~

I felt funny.  I was stiff and felt like I had been sitting a long time because of that numb stinging feeling you get.  I tried to move, but my body wasn’t responding to me.  I could hear noises in the background.  Beeping.  Yeah, there was beeping in the background.

I felt a hand on mine.  Again, I tried to move but my body would not respond.  I couldn’t squeeze the hand holding mine or even turn my head.

What the hell was going on?

Another noise filled the room, talking.  Jason.

“I’m so sorry, sunshine.  I wasn’t there to protect you.  Please wake up and I will spend the rest of my life proving to you how much you mean to me.  I will never let you down again.  Wake up for me, baby.”

The sound of crying filled the air and I felt like my heart was breaking.  I willed my eyes to open, but they weren’t listening.
  Why wasn’t my body listening to me?  Why couldn’t I open my eyes?  Suddenly, I felt so tired and my brain began to shut off again.  The last sound I heard was Jason’s crying and felt his tears on my hand.

@~^~           @~^~          @~^~

That annoying beeping filled the room again.  Why was I always met with that incessant beeping?  I tried to move again, but nothing happened.  What the hell was wrong with me?

“Sunshine, if you can hear me.  I need you to fight.  I need you
to keep fighting.  Wake up for me, baby.  Let me see those beautiful blue eyes of yours.  Let me hear that sexy laugh of yours.  Please fight.  I can’t live without you.”

I wanted to wake up.  It wasn’t for lack of trying.  My fucking body wasn’t listening to me.  I tried to move my arms, my legs, my head but nothing worked.  Nothing moved no matter how much I tried.  I could hear the heartbreak in his voice.  I wanted nothing more than to wake up and put an end to it all, but I couldn’t get my body to respond!  Slowly, I started getting heavier and heavier before the darkness closed in again.

@~^~           @~^~          @~^~

I ‘woke’ again, but this time it was
n’t the beeping I heard first.  It was still there, but the first thing I heard was Jason’s amazing voice.  It sounded dry and tired.

“I don’t see what is worth having to smile over.  Kayla is still not waking up.”

“What if I told you that we got Alex?” That was a familiar voice too… Nate.

Wait, what
?  They caught Alex.  I’m free.  Now if I could just move…

“What?”

“Yeah, bro, we got him.  Dale sang like the fucking rat that he is.  He told us where to find him and everyone involved.  Be glad that this happened because had Dale not gotten to her first… man it wouldn’t have been pretty.”

T
hey caught him.  He wouldn’t be coming after me anymore.

“I’m supposed to be glad that this happened?” Jason hissed.

“Not what I meant, Jay, and you know it.  Anyway, I wanted to bring you some food and see if I can’t convince you to leave the hospital for a bit and get some fresh air.”

“Nope.”

“You look like hell.  You’re going to scare her when she wakes up.”

“I don’t care.  I’m not leaving her side
,” Jason said, his voice full of sadness.

It broke my heart.  I moved my toes and had success.  I screamed with joy on the inside.  It was about fucking time.

“Go. Home. Jason.” I breathed.

I opened my eyes and saw Jason staring at me wide eyed.  He continued to stare and a tear rolled down his cheek.  My heart broke f
or him.  I knew the one thing I wanted to tell him.

“I
… love… you.”

Another tear rolled down his cheek.  I was beginning to wonder if he could even move.  He looked so lost and shocked.  Suddenly a smile broke out on his face and he was next to me on the bed hugging me.  I groaned in pain.  He lighte
ned his hold.

“I love you so much sunshine.  I thought I lost you.  I thought
… I love you so much.”

Raising my hand seemed to be a feat in itself, but I laid my hand on his cheek for a moment before it dropped.  Tears rolled down my cheek just as they did his.  We held each other for long moments before he pulled back and kissed me tenderly.

Soon the room was full of my family.  Everyone was talking a million miles a minute while the doctors and nurses checked me and updated the room on my ‘condition.’  My head was spinning with all the information and the things that everyone was saying.  Jason sat on the bed with me.  I moved over to him before the pain stopped me.  He cuddled me the rest of the way.  I closed my eyes and just listened to everything around me.

“It’s great news that she is improving, but I don’t want her going back to that place of hers alone.”

“I’m moving to Jason’s,” I replied sleepily.

“You are?” Jason asked.

“Mmmm Hmmm,” I sighed.

Everyone kept talking about getting me moved out of the ICU and moved into Jason’s.  My life was being figured out for me, but right
then, I was too tired to care.  I just wanted to sleep.  I wanted to sleep in Jason’s arms where nothing else existed, but him.  The voices around me started to fade until there was nothing, but a small hum in the background.  Nothing intelligible, but just a soft, comforting noise and it lulled me to sleep.

“Get your fucking ass over here now!  If I come to you, you will regret it!”  Alex hissed.

“I’m going to regret it no matter what.  I think I’ll postpone it for a little bit longer.”

He was moving toward me quickly. I threw the cup at him
and hit him in the head.  In my mind, was doing the happy dance for having such good aim.  Having so many brothers came in handy sometimes.  I had sat some many summers watching them play baseball that I could throw a perfect pitch by the time I was eight.  Who would have ever thought it would come in handy?

Alex held his head where the glass had hit him.  I knew that was going to cost me the minute he got his hands on me, but I was hoping that for once
, I just might be able to get away.  When he pulled his hand away from his head, I could see the blood.  It served him fucking right!  Karma’s a bitch, bastard.

I held another glass in my hand and threw it.  The glass hit him in the mouth because he tried to move out of the way.  Honestly, I didn’t care where it hit him as long as I got a chance to get away from him.  I kept throwing glasses and hitting him in the head, chest and even one almost knocking his family jewels out of business for a while.  I reached for another glass and my hand came up empty.  I turned to see that all the glasses
were gone.  In that moment that I turned my head, he caught me.  I screamed and struggled to get away.

“All out of weapons now.  You’re going to pay for that little episode
,” he hissed.

Grabbing me by the
hair, he yanked me out of the kitchen.  I had just moved into that house and hadn’t had a chance to unpack everything.  My knives were still in a box.  If he got his hands on me, I was not walking away and I knew it. I elbowed him in the side.  His hand loosened in my hair and I immediately started to bolt.  I was almost to the door when he pushed my head from behind and my face hit the door.

Falling down to the floor, my hair
was grabbed and I was pulled back to my feet.  I let out a yelp when he yanked my head to the side so I was looking at him.

“You don’t get it do you?  You can’t get away from me.  I. Own. You.”

“No!”

“Oh, but I do!”

He yanked his belt out of his pants pushed me against the wall and started beating me.  Again and again the belt hit me.  Over and over it dug into my skin. The fact I had jeans on probably saved it from cutting me open.  It didn’t stop him though.  He kept swinging.  When I heard the belt hit the floor, I began to panic.  I could handle all the swings he wanted to give, but what was coming next… I couldn’t handle that.  Each time he touched me, I died more inside.  He chipped away at my soul and the life in me died away with each attack.

I started screaming when I felt his hand on the front of my jeans.

“No! God No! Please… somebody help me!” I screamed.

I felt warm hands on my cheek and a soft kiss to my forehead.  It wasn’t Alex’s touch.

“Sunshine, wake up.  Wake up.  You’re safe.”

“Jason?” I whispered.

“Yes, sunshine.  Open your eyes and let me see those beautiful eyes of yours.”

I opened my eyes and was immediately met with his warm hazel eyes.  Looking in his eyes was like seeing his heart and soul.  Everything he felt showed in his eyes.

“It was just a bad dream.  You’re safe.  I have you.”

I cried into his chest for a while.  One thing I hated most about everything was reliving them over and over again in my dreams.  It was bad enough to live through them once, but to have to continue to relive them every time I shut my eyes was beyond torture.  It wasn’t just a movie when I had the nightmares.  I could feel everything; every sting, cut,
punch, forced contact… everything.  It wasn’t fair.  I just wanted rid it all.

A felt another set of hands touch the back of my head and screamed.

“Shh, pumpkin. It’s only me.”

“Daddy?”

I turned and saw everyone in the room staring at me.  Embarrassment ran through me and I could feel my skin heat up.  In all the years it had gone on, they had never seen my nightmares.  Mary had seen the one, but none after that.  The only one close enough to see them was Jason.

“Yes, pumpkin.  How are you feeling?”

I just shook my head.  There wasn’t really anything that I could say at that moment.  There was nothing that would change what they’d just seen or what I had been through.  For that matter, what I had dragged them through.  For so many years, I took extra measures to keep them out of this - out of the dark part of my life.  Having done so meant that they were kept out of all other areas too, and that killed me every day.  It hurt more than Alex’s attacks on me the fear I lived in day to day, or even the pain he inflicted.  My family was everything to me and I’d lost that sixteen years earlier.  To have them all in the room with me then – and under such circumstances – tore at me.  I never should have turned my back.  When it started, I should have told them.  I knew they’d help me and support me, but still I kept quiet.  Instead of getting the love and support then, I carried the pain alone.

To say that I was scared was putting i
t way too lightly.  I wanted several times to run and get help.  So many times, I tried to tell my brothers and parents, but either I never could get the words out or Alex would show up and scare me quiet again.  I lost myself.  I lost the girl I once was.  Kayla the adult… well, I had seen far too much.  I had gone through far too much, but the future looked better; brighter.

I looked at everyone.

“Is he really gone?” I asked, scared I had dreamed it all.

Everyone nodded with smiles on their faces.  Slowly I turned my head back to Jason and I realized that he had cuts on him.  I slowly reached my hand up and traced one on his forehead.

“You were hurt.  Are you okay?”

“I’m fine sunshine.  I’d do it again if I had to.”

“What happened?”

Carson walked forward and sat at the end of my bed and placed his hand on my leg, squeezing gently. 

“He is out of your life, Kay.  This man - your soon to be husband - he saved you.  He jumped through your glass doors at the clinic and beat the shit out of the sorry fucker,” He said, gritting his teeth.

“You did that?”  I breathed and looked up at him.

“Kayla, I promised I would protect you at all costs.  I wasn’t there when it first started, but I acted once I had reached you.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

I stared at him.  He looked completely heartbroken.  It was almost like he blamed himself for what happened.  It was in that moment that I realized it wasn’t just me that Alex went after it was everyone around.  He affected us all
, and all through me.  Alex hurt my family by causing me to turn away.  He hurt Jason by coming after me.  Never in my wildest dreams did I realize that my life had such a domino effect on the things and people around me.  We were all trapped in this game, and never realizing that one decision - one act - could change more than our own lives.

“I’m so sorry everyone.  Since I was twelve
, I have put you all through hell and back and I could have stopped it.  If I would have said something - if I wouldn’t have let him scare me, we may not be sitting here right now, all broken and hurting.”

A song came to my head and it felt like it fit.  I looked at everyone and when my eyes met Mary’s I winked.  She smiled and nodded.  Mary knew what I was about to do.  Mary has been the only
one in the family that had ever heard me sing.  Right then, our pain needed to heal, and I feel like this might help some.