Pygmy (16 page)

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Authors: Chuck Palahniuk

BOOK: Pygmy
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Starting amidst macadam field where host family surrender protection of automobile, media jackals pursue cow father, chicken mother, pursue pig dog brother, cat sister, and this agent. Hound after until arrive entrance to worship shrine.

Within shrine doorway stance leather mummy of Wal-Mart, Doris Lilly.

Vast breathing cow father, blouse saturated perspiration,
mouth devour and vomit great mass oxygen. Arrival interior worship shrine, cow face flushed dark blood glow, during one hand clutch sagging pectoral location of heart muscle. Chicken mother fluttering own bony claws so breeze own face with chilled wind.

Arrayed along forward edge stage of shrine showcased caskets various United Nation delegate cadaver, prior discarded to nourish worms and bacteria of soil. No longer sway-swing sensuous butter bags. No consume hashish. Lady delegate Zaire current now, adored gown sewed silk, white silk stitched infinite tiny pearls, delegate pallid hands accommodate bundle delicate genitals of tulip plant, fragrant, vivid red, spectral white. Delegate corpse nested deep interior of casket, buoyed aloft padded lining color pink.

Gentleman delegate East Timor grasp football in death, face cheek painted pink paint. Gentleman delegate Egypt eternal posed both hands gripping volume Christian Bible, neck bound eternal knotted silk banner. Lady delegate Brazil deceased hands bondage tied together utilizing necklace beaded, trailing pendant of dead man mounted on crossed stick.

Continued interior of shrine, media hyenas circling. Menacing forest multiple camera, blinding strobe continual sunburst, steady glare provided video recording. Thrust microphones.

Stationed throughout shrine: operative Tanek, operative Ling, operative Vaky

Present also delegate Uruguay, delegate India, esteemed Madam Fun Bags.

For official record, devil Tony remain no in attendant.

Basted glared heat so multiple camera, listened by so numerous microphone, vast host father vacate seat among family, make small parade so mount worship stage amidst dead
casket. Below plaster man bleeding paint. Host father initiate somber voice, say, “As a community we have much to mourn today…”

No present cadaver Trevor Stonefield. No in attendant family clan surviving Stonefield.

Mounted worship altar, host cow father say, “Not long ago, a young man came to us, dirty, ragged, smelling like the dung cooking fires of his primitive homeland.” Say, “This boy came to us as an orphan, a product of a dismal, backward culture mired in the failed social experiments and misguided politics of long-ago history.” Say, “This stunted child, crusted with scabs and stooped with rickets, with a stomach bloated from malnutrition and sparse, thin hair, he arrived illiterate and confused…And no, don’t get ahead of me here; this child was not our savior, Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth…”

Direction all camera swing so focused upon face of operative me.

“This wretched human trash,” host father say, “discarded by an uncaring socialist bureaucracy…”

This agent, watched under numerous camera, feel heat sensation rising blood glow within own cheek skin.

Continue host father, voice rising, say, “The nation that discarded this timid child, our weak, baffled guest, is a cruel country which persecutes free thinking and punishes ambition. A nation of crushing ideology.” Say, “A dull, savage dictatorship reluctant to admit the faintest light of free speech or Christian charity…”

Among community member, citizen seated too dense, pressing shoulder, frequent face begin tilt forward, tilt back, repeat tilt to make head meaning agreement.

Vast cow father say, “It’s from that tortured land of horror that this frightened child escaped—but for just six short
months.” Say, “This shivering, puny waif, this frail, vulnerable boy escaped the crushing misery of his government orphanage simply because a Christian missionary worked tirelessly to arrange six months of freedom and abundance for him and a ragtag assortment of his fellow orphans…”

Could be legs of operative me, muscle flex, spring above seated mob, repeat Lunging Lynx from Model United Nation,
swish-zonk
, decapitate population entire worship community. Lashing Lion,
rip-roar
, teeth of this agent eviscerate pack media scavengers.

Continued, endless host father say, “After months of negotiation, this emissary of Christian love shepherded her charges to the glorious shores of our blessed United States…” Say, “But for only a brief window of joy in a lifetime of bleakness and pain…”

Seated to one side, pig dog brother bend elbow so craft into sharp point, inject bony point to impact ribs of operative me, whisper say, “Check out Mom…”

Chicken host mother, head settle until sideways against own shoulder, eye iris contracted tiny dark pupil. Eye cover skins flutter, close, flash open. Drift close. Chicken mouth issue guttural snore.

Making huge inhales, host father say, “That suffering child came to live among us, to sing our songs and share the fellowship of our homes and church. He studied among our children, and they embraced and befriended him.” Say, “This coarse, uneducated, illiterate boy came to excel at a recent spelling bee. He came to enjoy dancing American dances, and so popular did he become that he was chosen to represent our own United States of America at the Model United Nations …”

Seated opposite side this agent, cat sister keyboarding buttons atop surface personal telephone.

Remaining stance on altar, host father say, “Now, you might think an ignorant, backward child could never repay the generous gifts our community has granted him—the gifts of medical care, nutritious food, safe and secure shelter, free education, religious guidance and love—above all our love—but this child has repaid that debt.”

Cow father cast eye so rest upon this agent. All entire eyeball of community rest on this agent.

Could be fists of operative me execute Punching Panda,
bam-blam
, so render entire crowd no conscious. Subsequent then execute Pumping Rabbit Maneuver distribute own seed among various appropriate vessel. Exit shrine. Seek midday nourishment. Visit memorial acclaimed war hero Colonel Sanders.

Host father say, “For it was this stooped, dirty waif who became the tool of sweet Jesus.” Say, “It was through the wasted frame of this crippled, filthy orphan that Jesus Christ acted to stop an insane killer.” Raising voice more loud, say, “Only by our Lord, controlling the puppet of this spindly, stunted wretch did justice advance on the demon which had taken possession of Trevor Stonefield.” Shouting say, “It was that demon who cut short the lives of our children, but it was Christ who vanquished the demon before more damage could be inflicted.”

Next now, voice stopped. Worship shrine silent. Awaiting.

Baking heat too many camera. Hearing expectation audio equipments.

Breaking silent, host father say, quiet to almost whisper say, “As the glorious agent of our savior, this beggar child
has earned a permanent place in our community. A permanent place in our hearts.” Voice rising, say, “And with that in mind, I propose that this boy remain among us, as a full and beloved member of the Cedar family.”

Under eyes of camera, betrayed by satellite to global audience, eyes all world nation, cow father say, “I do hereby announce that it is my intention to fully and legally adopt the foreign exchange student our family calls Pygmy.”

Faces total community, each fashioned as smile revealing all teeth. Wide smile compress cheek, obstruct eyes.

Hand raised open for testify, pledge, cow father say, “My wife and I do fully intend to become his guardians.” Say, “Our son and daughter will become his siblings.” Say, “And nothing—not international politics, nor diplomatic charges of kidnapping, nor bureaucratic red tape—will stand in our way. This dirty, sickly orphan, let us welcome him into the bosom of our fold. From this day forward, this puny, ignorant child will belong to us…”

For official record, witness here ever escalating semantics of ownership—operative me commenced in role exchange student sponsored of local religion. Charity program as organized by alive human cadaver Doris Lilly. Next becoming foster offspring. Next, acquired as adoption child. Ever increasing language American capitalism for ownership.

Esteemed Madam Fun Bags direct plump smile direction this agent, suggesting willing pubis. Suggest moist glisten excreted vaginal mucus. Welcoming engorged labium.

Only citizen no smile operative Tibor, operative Sheena, operative Magda.

No smile cadaver Zaire, East Timor, Egypt, or Brazil. Diet for arthropods.

From stance atop altar, surrounded multiple dead sacrifice
to violent United States culture of aggression, host father announce, say, “Yes, God has taken many of our brightest, strongest, most beloved children, but God has given us a doomed, discarded urchin that we, ourselves, can rescue…”

Same now, worship community explode with noise, every citizens striking palms together making wild racket. All citizen wipe eyes of bleeding water, mopping waterlogged scraps tissue. Hard exhaling so clear mucus out nostrils. Batter open hands together. Next now advancing attack with open arms, for ensnare with jagged finger, the flood citizen this community seeking trap this agent imprisoned under layers such suffocating embrace, offer deadly passionate ardor.

Dispatch
Eighteenth

Begins here eighteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, recall most bad event occurring formative year
Familial tragedy much documented history bureau
Communicated to this agent via gentle wisdom top nurturing warden of district
. Occurrence tragedy dated back many year since infanthood this agent.

For official record, repeat recounting here early childhood history of operative me. For reinforce early important training of this agent.

Depicted here calendar date first-round academic testing to determine profession track each citizen four years beyond birth. Beginning of past today, this agent arise in residence shared among male and female parentage, two sibling sister, positioned concrete tower block multiple apartment among countless similar family unit. Out window of apartment able supervise gridlock vehicle traffic, supervise vista multitude concrete building roof, moistened apparel suspended for evaporate after laundry. Plentitude blouse, trouser, tunic fastened taut cordage, perform dance upon invisible wind music. Strut numerous pigeon.

Recall typical wait within hall passage, anxious stance among neighbor resident await to utilize shared toilet. So able forget bladder, male parentage prompting this agent: Multiply 12 to 3. List alphabet
of licorice
. Recite elements periodic table, so able hold water until toilet available.

During consume early meal, masticating stewed cereal
grains, voice of operative me muffled of crushed food, say, “… niobium, nitrogen, nobelium, osmium…”

Upon departure family apartment, en route small parade so arrive testing location, male parentage during command: Recite now man-made elements. Female parentage smoothing hair of operative me. Younger female siblings following behind. Voice of this agent say, “… rutherfordium, dubnium, seaborgium…” Male parentage demand: Recite now isotopes. Female parentage expectorate saliva so wet tissue to scrub at face of this agent. Along thoroughfare many such family, parentage accompany offspring bound today testing so determine future profession. To become architect or plumber or resource planner. All arriving institute of testing, stern facade no window, only guarded sentry flanking portal of towering doorway atop flight long slope many steep step.

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