Pygmy (15 page)

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Authors: Chuck Palahniuk

BOOK: Pygmy
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Fellow passenger aboard public conveyance, seething broth proletariat, body of labor muscle, boiling cauldron class resentment awaiting only leadership activist brain. Stench perspiration combined inexpensive cologne. Drab appareled colors reflecting various inclement weathers. Trousers color collected gutter rain. Blouse and tunic color soiled cloud. Skin faces fellow vehicle passenger lined from oppression. Required merely this agent mount bold stance atop upholstered seat, so able visible for all present. Perhaps shake upright fist. Next then announce rescue arrived. Stern discipline operative me order command, ferment ignorant proles so sacrifice selves
to action of glorious revolution. Prompt fellow passenger mutiny, savage overwhelm vehicle captain until jettison corrupt demagogy, crowd then seize helm—first of public conveyance, second of wayward national state.

“Take your seat, please,” say captain, say, “you boarded the westbound number fourteen bus, at the Lincoln Park stop.”

For official record, during escape host family residence, host sister and this agent did peer over sill of window, ogle assembly media parasites, ready equipments satellite broadcast and exploit events.

Floating tiny orange light, each trailing smoke of cigarette. Milling horde many journalist predator. Open cups steaming the odor grinded coffee beans stewed with scalded water. Single searchlight flares to illuminate media jackal, appareled uniform jacket with skirt, helmet of rigid hair, clutching microphone, jackal transfixed by flaring light say, “Behind me is the home of the Cedar family, where an unlikely hero has been their resident foreign exchange student…” Say, “Fuck.” Say, “Let’s try that from the top.”

Other searchlight activated, appear additional media buzzard and hyena taken stance before residence of host family. Squinting at light, speaking into glare, uniformed buzzard say, “A foreign exchange student is credited with stopping a gunman and saving the lives of several dozen students today …”

For evade bloodthirsting pack scavengers, host sister vacate residence out window of sleeping chamber, lead this agent grappling foliage, balanced along utmost limb
Castanea dentata
. Immersed deep stealth shadow, navigate limb, second limb, scale trunk so gain access limb provided
Quercus rubra
. Navigate limb, clutching foliage until gain access lateral limb
Juglans nigra
, until more removed of vicinity jackal hordes, searching floodlights, and satellite betrayal system.

Ensconced aboard first public conveyance, crowded among numerous elbows and knees American proletariat, jostled sway and jolt, list generated from defects in roadway, flaws vehicle suspension, host sister train own face of black paint, cast eyes upon this agent to say, “Your little friend … France?” Say, “She really knocked up?”

Could be flash-fire-quick instant.
Wham-crack
. Bone elbows spear-pointed sharp bent to soar, Soaring Eagle Double Strike,
bonk-conk
, to left-right temple soft spots of cat sister forehead. Hard hit,
zing-crunch
, to hammer through layer of black hair. Could be, pry. Force open, dry, all friction, all peel of tender membrane until
humpy-humpy
dripping head of weapon wedge room in virgin slit of vagina muscle.

Perhaps only reason to blame affection, hands of operative me not already strike host sister to ground, render cat sister unconscious so able enter with turgid weapon, commit Pumping Rabbit Maneuver,
squirt-squirt
, empty contents testicle awash viable American eggs.

Perhaps true profound affection defined by no entering vagina without consent.

Ensconced aboard second public conveyance, host sister say, “That would be my folks’ worst nightmare, me hatching some gross fetus right now.”

Appareled black, shod black shoe, cat sister carry fabric sack former encase cushion purpose to cradle skull during asleep on mattress. Sack of white fabric pattern silly animal with helium balloon. White fabric flopping empty, almost empty. Round object sway, swing, small and heavy in bottom corner of sack.

Plunging hand into own trouser, host sister extract jar black paint. Twist lid so unhealed. Fingertip spoon black during cat sister say, “You could use a touch-up.” Cat sister fingertips lift toward face of operative me. Sister say, “Close your eyes.”

Fingertips Braille face cheek of operative me, stroke smooth, massage. Gentle circle. Greased finger lick infinite tiny licks along lips of this agent. Slippery finger slide width of forehead, tickle eyes cover skin shut tight. Leaving layer black paint. Skin of operative me, whole skin of face rush to meet touch. Nothing in eyes-shut blackness, merely honeyed odor cat sister exhales, sound of host sister voice. Vehicle conveyance vibrate.

Host sister voice say, fingering skin, say, “Your little friend, is her name Maria?”

Lips of operative me revise, say, “Magda.”

Ensconced third public conveyance, host sister say, “You’re pretty much our compromise.” Say, “I mean, I wanted to be an exchange student to Uganda or Tanzania, someplace bitch’n, only my folks were sure I’d get loved up by some bush guerrilla and bring them home a half-breed grandkid.” Say, “Their compromise is we sent away for you.” Say, “You can open your eyes…”

Cat sister heal own eye cover skins so blind, tilt chin forward so face offered as gift for this agent. Say, “Now, you touch me up…”

Ensconced aboard fourth public conveyance, host sister say, “Nobody needs to go to Tanzania to get preggers around here.” Say, “I never told my folks, but a while back Reverend Tony oozed up next to me at youth group and offered his own brand of private ministering.” Say, “That’s how come I carry my rape whistle…”

Devil Tony.

Digits of operative me explore sister face skin, smooth polish surface each cheek, trace slick edge curved margin mouth, sensation squirming eyeball alive behind eye cover skins, penetrate rim each nostril dipping digits so enter hole smear and retreat, advance and retreat, digit entering nostril more deep and retreat. Coaxing host sister bellow wet
hah-shoo
, sneeze. Repeat spray
hah-shoo
.

Blood glow flood cat sister neck skin, say, “What?” Say, “Are you fucking my nose?”

Negroid captain of public conveyance halt vehicle, activate door so becomes unhealed in metal wall, decree through amplified microphone, say, “End of the line.” Say, “All
mimes
please disembark.”

Surrounding vehicle, vast night render all hidden. Mating cry of cricket. Frog of bulls croak. Vehicle captain abandon this agent with cat sister along margin paved roadway bordered fence of linked chains, trenched ditch retaining stale water, many invasive plant life. Interrupting fence, gate. Beyond gate, vast field paved macadam.

Arriving vast macadam field, empty of automobile, host sister sprint bending knees deep, knuckles dragging primate posture, shoulders hunched so obscured behind landscaping hedge. Approach building assembled red brick. Sign stationed at entry lettered in English words to read: RADIOLOGICAL INSTITUTE OF MEDICINE. Crouched sister continue grasp fabric sack of skull cushion. Invade sack with hand, extract white card, sized of plastic money card. Laminated card attached anchored spring apparatus for gripping chest blouse pocket of cow host father. Laminated name badge swinging there, giving name Donald Cedar, from orange dot code security level nine. Swipe magnetic strip. American industry typical biological toxin exposure indicate strip.

Host sister brandish card, say, “This is
not
a date.” Say, “This is Spy 101
training

Sister walking crouched, stealth follow blurred edge of shadows, eternal obscured from camera security scanning landscape. Host sister say, whisper say, “Think of me as your spy
mentor

Arriving entrance of building, splayed so flat against wall of chilled bricks near healed doors, sister plunge hand within fabric sack. Emerge hand cupping green object. Cat sister gesture laminate card at healed doors. Next then handle round green object so aligned lens of box beside doors. Nothing occurs.

Fingering green object so repositioned before lens, say, “We need to get this thing home before my dad wakes up.”

Green object, artificial prosthetic human eye crafted of glass. Identical of vast cow father eye. White of eye smudged multiple fingerprint host sister black paint.

Glass eye coated slight adhesive, suggest dried fluid, same sticky surface as plastic missile and mortar owned by host mother. Gloss left dull beneath layer dried proteins, plethora bacterium.

Next now, eye new positioned, locked door slip unhealed. Latch loud clack, sound angry humming. Sister grasp edge of door swing so wide to reveal room within building, fluorescent illuminated hallway, linoleum passage stretched toward direction infinite top secrets. Could be this now, feet of operative me Kangaroo Kick,
wham-bam
sister head, render brain damaged so this agent able access interior of federal government knowledge. Implement Operation Havoc.

Cat sister insert self through unhealed door, hesitate, say, “Since you’re still in spy training, you’ll be the lookout.”

For official record, recall this agent the words of glamorous
national heroine, sanctified beauty Evita Peron, quote, “My biggest fear in life is to be forgotten.”

Required this agent remain at exterior door, for survey area any possible approaching individual.

Making lunge, host sister impress painted lips against surface lips of operative me. Adhesive black paint bonded for instant. Soft pressured and warm glued together. Next now peeling away until tactile memory. Flavor cat sister. Honeyed smell saliva. Acrid odor solder smoke, melted lead.

Quote, “My biggest fear in life is to be forgotten.”

Shake fabric sack, host sister say, “I just have to grab some junk for my science fair project.” Fashion face of half smile, say, “How come you
always
smell like Listerine?”

Same now, host sister slide beyond doorway, door returned so healed in wall. Sister ventured to trespass interior, taking laminate card, artificial eye, going delved to harvest unknown mystery. Forsake this agent alone at dark entrance, surrounded by invisible river of chilled wind, mating cry cricket. Night of today. Tongue of operative me licking own lips so able revisit lingering taste of vanished affection.

Dispatch
Seventeenth

Begins here seventeenth account of operative me, agent number 67, on arrival religion propaganda distribution outlet city
. Sabbath
. Denomination
. For official record, initial public appearance this agent since Model United Nation debacle.

Additional to normal array: Fake statue dead male, fake torture plaster on two crossed stick, fake blood painted red hand and foot…scented genitals plant life…cylinder white paraffin encase burning string, many tiny single fire. This today added pack jackals mass media, baying hounds, circling buzzard, sniffing hyena aim loaded camera, brandishing microphone so gouge eyeball of operative me. Media predator parasites shout demands of smile, look, look second direction, no smile, strobes searing retinas this agent.

Corrupt degenerate American media process image operative me, voice word of this agent preserve as product able reproduce indefinite, utilize to pace insidious marketing memes compelling persons purchase automobile and consume soda. Always purchase and consume.

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