Pygmy (14 page)

For official record, hands of operative me select missile, polish so pink plastic slippery to touch. Adhesive in small way to contact fingertips, in slight way surface of missile tacky of history dried moisture. Examining missile, this agent manipulate rotating dial at base. That same now, missile leap with life. Much animated so generate infinite tiny shivering so sudden hand of operative me release, drop quivering missile toward collection weapons, munitions. Feet of this agent lunge to flee before collected total all missile able detonate.

“Good job, Pygmy,” say host brother. “You found a live battery.” Brother lift shivering missile, twist until seam break, spill out battery. Quivering stop. Remaining hold missile, brother say, “This here’s my last year’s Christmas present to Mom.” With missile, indicate other antitank warhead in box, say, “My sister got her that one.” Indicate other missile, huge missile, same size vzor 99 Antos light mortar sourced the Czech Republic, say, “We both chipped in on that one the Mother’s Day before.”

All munitions mortar and cartridge issue strong odor female pudendum.

Brother assemble broken missile, secrete cylinder battery in trousers. Closing box of vivid blue plastic, say, “For my dad, we bought him a year’s premium membership in the Almost Underage Nympho Latinas Web site.” Pushing box so returned below mattress, say, “At least this ways we know they’re home…and not out looking for trouble.”

Make small parade returned to subterranean chamber of television appliance, location host father and mother remain no conscious. Where host brother penetrate silver box, small box surfaced with buttons, insert cylinders, heal hatch. Pig dog brother keyboard box. Television viewing appliance flash, appliance face illuminate image female youth, delegate of Guyana, hands gripping hemline own dashiki lifting so display attractive pair sweater meats. Delegate twist torso one side, then other side, repeat twist so cause adolescent blouse bunnies sway hypnotic motion.

Next now, television display delegate Trevor Stonefield discard burka. New now, head delegate Rwanda consume hashish cake, adorned necklace numerous human teeth, face cheek striped red color, yellow and blue war paints, next delegate head explode. Image paralyze at now when delegate dreams, fears, prejudices, adorations all emerging as pink bubble so burst out side of Caucasoid skull. Delegate mouth remain macerate hashish cake during own entire thinking machine escape.

Pointed silver box at television appliance, pig dog brother say, “Little Pygmy, this tape is my ticket to the big money.” Say, “You’re looking at a gold mine bigger than the Zapruder film.”

Same now, voice say, female voice emerge shadowed doorway, say, “Too bad you intercut with kiddie porn…” Voice revealed as face cat sister, face skin painted black, torso appareled
black tunic and trouser. “No news outlet will run underage titties,” host sister say, “You’ll be lucky not to spend next year sharing a cell with some pedophile.”

Pig dog keyboard button so full skull delegate Rwanda vent as vast pink sneeze out ear canal. Keyboard button, and contents delegate accumulate, assemble, leap returned into skull, delegate repeat smiling, eating cake, shaking teeth necklace so dance over naked hypertrophied pectoral muscle. More keyboarding, delegate skull repeat explode. Assemble, explode. Assemble, explode. Advance, retreat. Advance, retreat.

“Stop it,” say cat sister. Host sister stoop to examine face unconscious host mother; utilizing finger sister lift eye cover skin of mother. Sister say, “Did you dope them?”

Keyboarding the skulls to explode, the fun bags bounce, host brother say, “All I got to do is cut the boobies.” Keyboarding small silver box, say, “At last count, you owe me sixteen roofies.”

Next now, cat sister extract small cylinder out own trouser, finger cylinder until one end blaze bright illuminated. Seizing eye cover skin open, host sister aim bright blaze so directed host mother exposed eyeball. There, host mother iris no expand or contract. Cat sister apply two own fingers pressed side mother neck, say, “Her pulse is weak and irregular, dickhead.” Bright blaze light begin fade, fainter, fail to dark. Host sister jerk cylinder two direction, finger switch only create no illumination. Say, “Thanks, Mom, for nabbing my flashlight batteries.”

Same current now, dark stain liquid bloom on crotch host father trouser. Host cat sister clench own face into fist around own nose, snort small inhale, say, “Dad’s wet…” Say, “You plan on changing him?”

“Last time,” host brother say, “you yelled that I got talcum all over.”

Television appliance depict Trevor Stonefield exercise trigger Colt, expend ammunition. Colt DA snub-nose 38-caliber, two-inch barrel, muzzle flash. Loud retort. Puff smoke. Fez delegate disintegrate. Conical coolie hat atomize.

“Last time,” cat sister say, “it was Mom, and I had to change her.”

On face of television revealed Caucasoid lactoids delegate Ethiopia, festive jump as delegate lift both hands so adjust bone inserted through own false Afro-style hairdo.

Keyboarding button box, host brother say, “I already got feelers out to six record labels wanting to use my footage in their next hip-hop videos.” Say, “No fuck’n way am I dumping this on any network news.”

On television appliance, revealed Trevor Stonefield, face curtained at sides clear-yellow hair. Electric-bolt blue eye.

Cat sister say, “That bastard shot me in my pineapple…”

On viewing appliance, bullet discharged of Colt Detective Special trajectory until collide plastic pineapple balanced high atop host sister turban of many fake fruit. Pineapple rendered infinite bits yellow plastic, green plastic. Television image of host sister plummet to assume unconscious heap.

During witness image within television viewing appliance, host brother say, “The word is, old Trevor was a big repressed homo.”

Subsequent now, then now, then now, eyes of operative me, host brother and sister merely observe appliance. Speed bumps shake, then fall dead. Chesticles jiggle, then spattered with blood. Gentleman delegate Cayman Islands, catch bullet in forehead. Gentleman delegate Bermuda pierced through breastplate woven porcupine quills.

Host father continue urinate trouser. Silver rope viscous saliva escape mouth corner host mother.

Plunging hand into own black trouser, cat sister produce diminutive mirror. Sister repeat stoop so able position mirror in path nostrils of father. Position mirror below nostrils of host mother, sister say, “They’re barely alive, but they’ll survive.”

Eyeballs remained cast upon viewing appliance, host brother say, “Good luck sneaking past the reporters out there.”

Cat sister make small parade to bench cushion where this agent reside. Out trouser, sister produce small jar, twist so remove lid, dip two fingertip into contents. Fingers ladle black paint, hover near face of operative me, cat sister say, “So, Pygmy, you think you have what it takes to make a good spy?”

Sister commence smooth layer black paint so conceal face skin of this agent. Cat fingers contacting about eyes of operative me, tracing paint around lips of this agent. Host sister say, “A spy has to be sneaky.” Say, “Can you keep a secret?”

Sister rub skin of this agent cheeks.

Displayed television appliance, dancing devil dumplings delegate New Zealand.

Weapon of operative me expand against limited constrictions own trouser.

Cat sister say, “Can Pygmy hide what he’s thinking, like a good spy?”

Displayed viewing appliance, Trevor Stonefield snap pistol new full magazine.

Cat sister stroke black paint down nose of operative me, say, “Can Pygmy here go that ruthless, heartless extra mile?”

Displayed television, diminutive figure this agent crouch behind lectern. Huddled with diminutive figure operative
Magda. Next then, figure this agent launch self toward inside roof, suspended tumble, somersault whole self above ground, spring with both arms off slanted top of podium, sailing wind fast, executing exact
swish-zonk
Lunging Lynx. Sailing Lynx twist so evade bullet spray, zero aiming feet at target Trevor Stonefield, landing both legs Lynx wrapped about clear-yellow head, flex knees so yank Trevor skull off connection atlas, separated at cervical vertabra five near top of spine. Loud pop, instant quick dead. Decapitated. Lunging Lynx ride falling body to floor, Trevor muscle remain twitch, eyeball spread wide with surprise. Same clear-yellow body as violated men’s spa of shopping mall. Head wilted on neck, dead. Surrounded weeping balloon bombs spattered red blood. Contortion cadavers dead delegate. Trevor Stonefield interrupted. All anxious, all turmoil and aspiration, all affection and hostility—erased.

Face skin operative me, painted black, deleted. This agent say, “Please, Trevor occurred actual no such terrible individual …”

Already media branding Trevor Stonefield evil demon devil for all recorded history.

Quote, “When news is concerned, nobody in the press is a friend—they are all enemies.”

During next now, pig dog brother keyboard so Trevor neck no wrung. All delegate skulls vacuum gray meatloaf contents restored. All returned merry faces. This agent striking podium utilize heel boot associated boy of cows. Auditorium resonate Magda voice: “I am big with child…” Reverberate laughter. Next, brother keyboarding all dead. All alive. All dead. All blood contained. All blood exhausted. Advance, retreat. Advance, retreat. Keyboarding both visions during cat sister exit so retrieve canister talcum powder.

Begins here sixteenth account of operative me, agent number 67, seated aboard public mass transportation routed
. Transferred of route
. Transferred of route line
. Originating transportation route
.

For official record, during venture to board access current conveyance, vehicle captain rest eye upon operative me and host cat sister, both face skin painted black color. Negroid captain seated so to control steering, accept payment, announce disembark locations along route, captain witness cat sister black paint, say, “What are you two supposed to be?”

Mounting step of conveyance, depositing coinage into receptacle neighboring captain, cat sister fashion wide smile of black-painted face, say, “What?” Host sister contract trapezius muscle so elevate deltoid adjacent ear to fashion shrug, say, “Ain’t you never seen a
mime
before?”