Quantum (32 page)

She tsked at him but moved to sit in the chair she’d vacated a few moments ago.

“It’s your loss, but I suppose there’s always later.”

Zander dragged a hand across the lower half of his face, a pained expression crossing his features. “Now you’re just trying to torture me.”

The door slid open and Prescott walked in, followed by half a dozen other medics.

“Ah, Captain Admiral, you’re awake and obviously quite alert. That’s a good sign. How are you feeling?”

Zander cut her a heated look then focused on Prescott. “I’m sure you don’t need specifics, but I’m feeling much better.”

A blush crept up her neck at the innuendo, but it seemed Prescott had missed it as he checked some data on the screen inset above Zander’s bed.

As she let her head drop back against the seat, fatigue ambushed her. What she wouldn’t give for a cozy bed right now. But their situation was far from resolved. After all, they still had a flagship to steal.

Chapter Thirty-One

Zander scowled at the walking stick in his hand as he crossed the deck toward where the
Imojenna
and
Ebony Winter
were docked beside each other. Prescott hadn’t wanted him to leave the MED yet and threatened to get a couple of AF soldiers up to handcuff him to the bed if he didn’t at least take the cane. Although that was the lesser evil, because the surgeon had tried to make him sit in a goddamn wheelchair.

He couldn’t afford to lounge around in bed after spending almost three days laid up. The pulling in his back and chest warned him that maybe walking all this way hadn’t been such a great idea. But Mack, the ship’s captain, wouldn’t be able to stall the IPC forever, and if they were really going to steal the damn ship, then they needed to get the
Swift Brion
to the relative safety of the Barbary Belt ASAP.

The entire crew had gathered in the level-one launch bay and stood in rough formation waiting to be addressed. He nodded at a few people here and there, returned greetings, and accepted well wishes as he made his way to the front of the crowd, where Mae, Rian, Forster, and their combined crews waited.

Rian hadn’t come to see him in the MED, not that he’d really expected his old friend to show up. The man seemed to be an expert at avoiding anything that might be construed as emotional. However, as Zander got closer, he was gratified that a shadow of regret seemed to flash over Rian’s impassive mask.

“Zander, you’re looking better than the last time I saw you.” He stepped forward and held out his hand. “About what happened—”

Zander transferred his walking stick to his left hand and then took a swing, catching Rian in the jaw. The movement had been halfhearted at best. With his back so recently sliced and diced, he couldn’t put much power behind his fist. He still managed to catch Rian off guard, though.

“Apology accepted,” he replied as Rian straightened, rubbing a hand over his jaw and glaring at him with begrudging respect.

“Now that you’ve all kissed and made up,” Forster interjected, moving closer. “What’s the plan here?”

Mae walked over to stand at his side, imbuing him with the confidence to do what needed to be done.

“It’s simple. We can’t run an entire battleship with just fifteen of us, and the
Swift Brion
’s people already know her inside and out.”

Forster’s eyebrows hiked up. “You’re not suggesting—?”

“We give them a chance to join us. It’s the starting of a real force, and we’re going to need it if we want to survive this insane underground war we’ve taken on.”

Rian’s expression was considering. “It’s a risk, but I think it’s one we need to take. We’ve weeded out the Reidar onboard, and from bits and pieces I’ve overheard in the past few days, your people are really unimpressed about the possibility of aliens infiltrating the IPC.”

“I think they’ll want to take up this fight, despite the implications of abandoning the IPC and going AWOL.”

“Then by all means”—Rian held out a hand, gesturing him forward—“address your people, Captain Admiral.”

Zander shot Rian a quick frown over the sarcasm behind the words. They both knew he wouldn’t be a captain admiral for much longer.

He strode to the temporary lectern complete with microphones that somebody had set up. As he took his place, a hush fell over the crowd.

“Thank you all for gathering here. I know the past couple of days have created an upheaval in our close-knit crew.” The mood in the large open area seemed to grow more somber, people no doubt considering their friends who’d turned out to be aliens in disguise collecting who knew what sort of intel on them. “You all saw with your own eyes the proof of what lurks in the far reaches of the universe, saw that these creatures were residing among us, hiding in plain sight on our ship. So when I tell you that we have reason to believe that every IPC flagship, every facet of military and government on every planet has been similarly compromised, you can understand the gravity of our situation, the peril that mankind itself is facing.”

He paused, the weight of his words pushing down on his shoulders. He glanced over at Mae, who’d moved near his left, while Rian and Forster were off to his right. The universe might be balancing on a precipice, but he had people with him he could trust. As long as they stood together, then just maybe they had a small chance of making a difference.

He set his shoulders and returned his attention to the crowd. “And now you all have a choice to make. Personally, I can’t remain in the IPC military, knowing those above us giving the orders, or the people I fight shoulder to shoulder with, may not be human. I will be joining Captain Sherron in his quest to expose and destroy the alien invaders, and I plan on taking this ship with me.”

A shocked murmur rippled through the room.

“We’ve outed all of the Reidar onboard, and I’ve worked with most of you for many years, which has built a solid trust between us. I’m giving you all a choice. Join me, even though it means leaving behind everything you know to become outcasts, wanted, probably hunted by the IPC
and
a race of aliens plotting our destruction. Or, for those of you who wish to remain loyal to the military, we’ll be giving you the chance to disembark at Beta Seven waystation. After that, we’ll be taking this ship and going off the grid. For security reasons, the destination will remain undisclosed until those who wish to leave have vacated. We’re two rotations out from Beta Seven, so take your time to think this decision through and make the right choice for yourselves.”

After Zander saluted the room, the crowd dissolved into loud chatter.

Rian moved up next to him, and Zander released a long breath.

“Well, there was no immediate mutiny—that’s a good sign.” He held his hand out to Rian, who sent him a wary look before shaking it. “Congratulations, Rian, you’ve got yourself a flagship and hopefully at least half a crew.”

“At least now we’ve got some decent firepower to blast the frecking bastards with next time they come at us.”

“I’d like to feel better about that, but the Reidar have probably still got half the IPC in their pocket.”

Rian shrugged. “One battle at a time, Graydon. Isn’t that what we used to say?”

“Yeah, that’s what we used to say.” The grin he aimed at his old friend held a note of dark amusement. “I should go check in with Mack.”

As he turned, Mae took his arm. “Nice speech, Captain Admiral.”

He offered her a forced smile. “The last one I’ll make as a captain admiral. Once we leave Beta Seven and disconnect from the IPC grid, I’ll become a wanted pirate like Forster.”

“Not a pirate,” Forster called out.

Rian clapped him on the shoulder. “You just keep telling yourself that, cuz.”

Forster glowered, and Zander coughed over a laugh but then groaned when pain sliced from his back into his chest. Mae’s grip on his arm tightened.

“Let me guess…you shouldn’t be up and walking around?” She sent him a stern look and started steering him across the launch bay.

“Prescott may have mentioned something about a wheelchair. But I need to go up to the bridge and make sure Mack—”

“Colonel Captain McCarty has been doing just fine running things the past couple of days. He doesn’t need you hovering. Come on. I’m taking you up to your stateroom, and you’re not leaving until we reach Beta Seven. And even then, I’m only letting you see off those who want to leave before I put you back to bed.”

He wound an arm across her shoulders and sent her a heated look. “I’ll stay in bed, but you’re going to have to work hard to keep me there.”

“That’s easy. I’ll just tie you down.”

His heart skipped a rushed beat, and he tightened his arm around her. “Really?”

The look she sent him was nothing short of chiding. “Not for the reason you’re hoping.”

He sighed, long and loud. “A man can only dream.”

Her hand came up to settle in the middle of his chest, right over his heart. “Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of you.”

“So long as I can take care of you in return, every day for the rest of our lives.”

Gray eyes sparkled with the bloom of unshed tears. But of course, practical as she always was, Mae blinked them away then leaned in to hug him. He held her close, enjoying the simple pleasure and wondering how in the hell he’d gotten so lucky. He might have just sent his life into a black hole, which would lead him god only knew where, but he couldn’t remember things ever feeling so right. The simple truth was as long as he had Mae with him, nothing else life threw at him could ever be wrong.

Epilogue

The sound of laughter and chatter drifted up to the bridge from the communal room–slash–galley down the passage, the crew sitting down for dinner together as they often did. Rian scanned the plate Zahli had brought up for him a while ago, taking in the food with detached interest. While he was too practical to let any food go to waste, he didn’t exactly have an appetite.

Not an appetite for food, anyway.

His penchant for Violaine was alive and well and humming through his veins with a low, seductive temptation, luring him to go find a bottle and taste hard ambrosia. His only other appetite, the one he’d never worked out how to satisfy, the one that moaned for violence, death, and destruction, he turned inward, with the promise that one day soon he would feed it with the slaughter of countless Reidar.

But it wasn’t enough anymore.

The realization had been creeping up on him, lurking in the back of his mind like dark matter. Time and distance were gradually giving him perspective and better control over the demons inside him. Added to the fact that Ella had once taken some of the darkness from his soul when she’d healed him from a wound, he’d actually thought for a nanosecond that maybe it wasn’t his fate to be eternally damned.

Yet he could feel himself slipping back, like he’d reached as high as he could drag his sorry, damaged carcass and had found nothing at the top but another sharp downward slope that would send him straight back into black oblivion.

His little altercation with Ella had been the proof he hadn’t wanted to find. And in the two days since they’d left the flagship, she hadn’t looked at him. Not even once. It was as if he’d ceased to exist, even when he was standing right in front of her.

Not that he’d been looking for her company. He could count on one hand the number of times she’d been in the same room with him in the last forty-eight hours. The bridge and his quarters were the only two places he’d ventured, apart from the brig once or twice, where they were keeping that possible Reidar prisoner who’d caused nothing but trouble since they’d brought him onboard.

No doubt Zahli was getting primed to give him a lecture about shutting people out and letting others help him. But he just didn’t know how else to protect everyone. The more locked down and detached he was, the safer they’d all be.

Despite how deadly the Reidar were, there wasn’t anything more deadly in the universe than himself when he didn’t have a tight chain of control wrapped around the throat of his emotions.

The control panel in front of him pinged—a coded, incoming transmission. He tabbed the icon on the screen, and the viewport flickered to show Zander sitting in his stateroom onboard the
Swift Brion
.

“Captain Admiral. How are your plans coming along?” Rian leaned back in his chair, shoving down the lingering cold tendrils from his unhelpful introspection.

“Don’t you mean
our
plans? I seem to remember this idea was mostly you and that swashbuckling cousin of yours.”

He sent his friend a small, cutting grin. “You get caught, I’m pretending like I never knew you. Got enough people after me without being implicated in stealing a flagship.”

“Thanks,” Zander muttered. “I’m so glad I got stabbed for you.”

If Zander could make a joke about almost getting killed, then things must be looking up. At least from his perspective.

“I assume you didn’t contact me on this super-secret coded transmission to tell me you’re never going to let me live that down.”

“Though I will endeavor to do that at least once every time we see each other, you’re right. I actually commed to let you know that we made the stop off at Beta Seven waystation, and not a single person elected to leave. We’ve got an entire crew aboard willing to fight for you, Rian.” Zander paused as though giving him a moment to digest that staggering fact. “As we speak, Mack is in the command center overseeing the ship going dark—we’re shutting off all beacons and systems connected to the IPC and have set a course for the Barbary Belt. In the next hour or so, the IPC are going to realize we’ve gone off the grid. But I’m confident we’ll make the Belt before they can use any secondary systems to find us.”

Goddamn.
This was huge. Though he’d come to terms that Qae and his crew, plus Zander and Mae, had taken up his cause without hesitation, the fact that almost three hundred people he didn’t even know were willing to put their lives on the line for this unofficial war that had pushed them beyond the fringes of society pretty much imploded his brain. It was going to take a while to sink in that they had the startings of a real force to face the Reidar.

“Is that shock I see on the face of the infamous Rian Sherron?” Zander was quite obviously amused. And why not? It had been a long time since anything had surprised him.

“No, it’s complete bewilderment that there are that many stupid people willing to follow me into hell, where most of them probably won’t come back.”

Zander’s expression sobered, but then something distracted him as he glanced over his shoulder.

“How’s he taking the news?” Mae asked offscreen a moment before appearing and sitting down next to Zander.

“About as pessimistically as you’d expect. He’s already taking a body count.” Zander dropped an arm over Mae’s shoulder, looking more content than Rian could ever remember seeing him.

“So you two are an actual thing now?” He tried, but he couldn’t quite keep the aversion out of his voice. Not because he begrudged two of his oldest and closest friends finding happiness with each other in these dark times, but because he couldn’t imagine anything worse for himself. Plus, he was faced with yet another couple making goo-goo eyes at each other whenever he got stuck in the same room as them.

Zander gave a short laugh, while Mae sent him an indignant look through the screen. “Wow, Rian, don’t sound so ecstatic about it.”

He held up a hand in surrender before Mae could start making plans to punch him next time they saw each other. Considering he’d nearly gotten Zander killed, he probably deserved it. “Sure, I’m glad, and you can thank me later, since you might never have even met if I hadn’t sent you after him.”

Zander’s humor turned to exasperation. “Because all that secrecy and manipulation was so helpful.”

Maybe his methods weren’t always principled, but they were effective.

“It’s the only currency I have left to deal in.” He glanced away from the screen. Ever since he’d come back after being a prisoner of the Reidar, he’d always felt like there was a gulf or invisible barrier between him and everyone else around him, one that was impossible to breach. And in that moment, he was more aware of it than ever.

Pushing his isolation down, he looked back up at the screen, turning his thoughts to his plans as he always did. Going forward, pushing toward his goals—it was the only lifeline he had to hold on to.

“I’m a few days out from the Belt myself, and I’ve got a couple of things to follow up on. You and Qae will need to greet Corsair Blackstone when you arrive, but he knows you’re coming, so you’ll be fine without me. If you have any problems, just comm me, and I’ll be there as soon as I can burn the
Imojenna
’s engines.”

Zander nodded, not seeming the least bit worried about the fact he was sitting on a stolen flagship that the IPC would likely blow into a million pieces rather than allow to go AWOL. “Fly safe, brother. We’ll be waiting to hear the latest exploits of the IPC war hero when you get back.”

He sent Zander a scowl. “You know I hate my frecking reputation. And why do you assume there’ll be any exploits to talk about?”

“Because wherever you go, Rian, destiny always finds you.”

The simple words sent a fine ripple of energy down his spine, like there was something bigger and far greater than he could understand at work. Except he didn’t believe in fate, and he sure as hell didn’t believe in any kind of god.

What he did believe in was his weapons. And the knowledge that death was a constant he could rely on no matter where he went in the universe.

“Good luck going dark.” Before Zander could offer any other cosmic-destiny bullshite, he leaned forward and cut the transmission, leaving his hand to rest on the crystal screen of the consol.

The low light of the display backlit the beads on his wrist, making some of them sparkle, mixing colors and blurring shapes. Sometimes those beads felt like they weighed a ton, dragging down his arm and everything else with them. Other times, like now, they felt like a tether, leading him somewhere he couldn’t see but knew he needed to go.

He clenched his fist and slid his arm off the console, out of sight. Leaning back in the chair, he returned to his solemn contemplation of void-space streaking in a flashing rainbow of colors past the ship.

Out there, in every corner of the universe, the Reidar were lying in wait, no doubt getting ever closer to the final invasion.

It had never been his intention to save the universe, even before he’d left the IPC military. It had been all about revenge, simply tracking down the Reidar, especially those who’d had a hand in his torture, and cutting them down where he found them.

But strangely enough, other people, good people like Zander, Mae, Qaelen, and everyone else who’d joined their cause, actually cared whether the collective galaxy got screwed in the ass by a bunch of power-hungry sociopaths.

And when they looked at him now, he got this sense of claustrophobia, because they saw him as some sort of leader, as the noble hero who was fearlessly heading the charge in an impossible war.

They’d see the truth soon enough. He hadn’t wanted to lead anyone anywhere, but this force might be the key to seeing through his personal vendetta to destroy the bastards. It was the best chance he had of finally purging both the universe and his mind of the monsters lying in wait.

Zander might have made light of his so-called pessimism about the crew of the
Swift Brion
joining their fight, but the truth was, he didn’t see soldiers winning the day. All he saw were bodies to step over on his march to the inevitable end.

He only hoped that when they went down, it wasn’t by his own hand.

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