Questing Sucks (Book 1) (5 page)

 
“Of course I do,” Sehn spat. “The Great Sehn deserves nothing less, but…this is really far. I don’t plan to conquer any of these regions for at least another millennia, after I’ve discovered the potion that will grant me immortality.”

“Sehn,” Rillith continued, “you’ve never ventured with us any farther than Koringrath. At this rate, you’ll never conquer anything.”

Sehn balled his hands into fists. “Is that a challenge? You dare to insult your God!”

Patrick walked between the two, easing the tension. Nero watched as he whispered something into Rillith’s ear, causing the man to stand down. What was strange was that Sehn seemed to be noticing none of their oddities. Unless he actually did but was not letting it be known. That was probably the case. Sehn wouldn’t miss anything.

Rillith gave Patrick an apologetic nod before resuming. “Sehn, we’ve known you for a while now. This is the chance for you to finally become richer than you could ever imagine, and we can’t do it without you. In fact, if you don’t accompany us, then all three of us will die. And while I know that someone as great as you would only laugh at the demise of our miserable lives, you would no longer have any people to bring you free wine.”

Sehn’s ears twitched. Nero had come to know Sehn well. When his ears twitched, it meant he was considering something, that he was being persuaded.

“Hmm, I must admit I’ve already come to accept you three as my disciples.” Sehn grinned. “Nobody stand up. You’re excused from showering me with gifts of thanks for the moment.”

“So then you will accompany us?” Patrick asked pleadingly.

Sehn chewed the lower corner of his lip and sighed. “I suppose it wouldn’t do to have you three get yourselves killed before I’ve won all my money back from our games.”

A look of hope spread across the three Human’s faces. The one Nero recognized as Daniel, who had remained silent until then, stood up from the table and joined the other two. He whispered something into Patrick’s ears and received a nod in response. Patrick grinned at whatever Daniel was saying, and Sehn once again appeared to notice none of this, probably because he was too busy flexing his powerful Elven arms and admiring them.

“Sehn,” Daniel said. “I actually agree with you. We shouldn’t go.”

Sehn looked at him without even the slightest hint of surprise. “Of course you do, Daniel. You always were the smartest of the bunch.” Sehn flexed again. “All intelligent beings agree with the Great Sehn. You know what? I have just decided that when I conquer the world, you shall only receive two torture sessions per day, down from the seven that all others shall face.”

Nero almost gave away his position as his mind filled with rage.
I’m only down to three torture sessions! I won’t let this Daniel-Human take my place. He is now my gravest enemy.

Daniel bowed his head. “Thank you kindly, Great Sehn. After all, why should we travel halfway across the world? It will take quite a long time, and so what if a few people call us cowards just because we’re unwilling to fight the terrible monsters that live there? We know we aren’t, right? Let them insult us and say that we fled like girly-men from the dangerous—”

“We shall leave at once!” Sehn shouted. Nero watched as he quickly picked up any items of use that might be needed on a long journey. “I shall fuck up everything that breathes from here to the treasure. Let the whole land know that Sehn has arrived.”

“Hold on now, Sehn,” Patrick said. Nero had the sense that the extraordinarily well dressed man was trying to suppress a grin. “We still have to prepare.”

Sehn shot him a dangerous look. “You dare to order—”

“No, you misunderstand me, Sehn. I meant that the three of us need to prepare. We are not as quick to meet danger as one so courageous as yourself.”

Sehn held his glare a moment and then visibly relaxed. “I see. Well then, in that case we shall leave at dawn. You three are to meet me at the gates of Elvar, and we’ll proceed from there. This will be more dangerous than our usual hunting trips, so don’t blame me if you three die along the way. I’m more than happy to take the treasure for myself. In fact, I am still not certain I won’t betray you along the way. You had better offer your prayers that I don’t.”

The three nodded and then left the home. Nero’s mind whirled in thought while he carefully lowered himself down to the base of the home and then allowed himself to drop the last few feet. He didn’t know everything that was going on, but he did know one thing—they weren’t going without him!

Chapter 5: And Off We Go

 

Sehn could barely sleep. His mind raced with thoughts of money and power. He twisted and turned in his sleeping pallet, anxious to head out in search of this treasure. Patrick hadn’t told him what the treasure was, but such a thing mattered little to Sehn. After all, what difference did it make? As long as it yielded great profits, anything would do.

Thinking of which, Sehn had quite a bit of work cut out for him. It was almost overwhelming the things he still had to do. Dozens of questions still needed to be answered. For instance, what type of material would he use in building his grand statue, and where would Sehn place it?

There was one spot that called to him, but getting his statue built there would prove more than just a little difficult. For the Great Sehn, there was only one deserving place—the center of Elvar, hovering above the grand springs.

The problem was that it was the location of the statue of Helena, the Holy Goddess of water and savior to the people of Elvar. Tearing it down would cause quite a bit of problems for Sehn. It was very large and would require many work hours. Also, the head would have to be salvaged so that he could place his statue’s foot on top of it.

“Damn thing shouldn’t be there to begin with
,” Sehn grunted in his half-sleep.

It was of the utmost disrespect to have put the Goddess statue there in the first place. Seers should’ve foretold of Sehn’s coming centuries ago, and a Great Sehn statue should already have been in place, even before he was born. When Sehn finally conquered the world, all Seers would be punished for not having already prepared his tribute. Thinking of these things, Sehn tossed and turned the remainder of the night, until the first rays of light reflected off the tops of trees, throwing vertical slashes of sunrays into his home.

Sehn jumped out of bed and grabbed his survival kit, his dagger, and his new Elven bow and sword, then exited his shabby dwelling into the fresh air of Elvar. He looked out on the city from his small porch. Despite being in such a low class location, Elvar was still a beautiful place. The early rising birds hopped from tree to tree, scouting prey, while squirrels could be seen running amok. A fresh breeze made the leaves around him dance.

Sehn climbed down the ladder and began to walk, his feet kicking up leaves as he made his way to higher and higher-class areas. Elvar was somewhat like a ring, and the further you deviated from the center, the lower class and more poverty-stricken the areas became. Sehn’s three Human disciples would be waiting for him at the gate, and he hoped they would be ready to leave when he arrived. Sehn wanted this to be done with as soon as possible. He had no interest in sightseeing or adventuring on this journey—he simply wanted to complete his three goals: grab the treasure, return home, and enslave the world.

Sehn continued his walk through Elvar, beyond the exotic waterfalls of Oakley, the large maple trees of Honeytown, and the higher-class estates of central Elvar. Looking up, he could see the beautiful homes atop the massive trees: mansion-sized, and decorated with every fabric imaginable. This would all be his one day. Sehn was sure of it.

Finally, the trees began to shrink in size, until homes no longer nestled inside of them. Eventually he came to a clearing, where his three companions waited with a traveling wagon and livestock.

“Good morning, Sehn,” Patrick said in greeting.

Sehn ignored him and inspected the horses. His mood soured.

“A problem?” Rillith asked.

“Yes. I thought you would be procuring me a horse. Yet I don’t see one here.”

“What are you talking about? There’s one for each of us, plus four to drag the wagon and two remounts for emergency. Exactly what we needed.”

“You fool! My horse should have a saddle made of gold and diamond. Do it again.”

Patrick looked confused. “Do what again?”

“Everything. I shall turn around and pretend I didn’t see this insult. Slaughter these animals and bring new ones. This time, I expect a golden and diamond saddle, and a letter of apology signed in your blood.”

Patrick laughed. “Oh come now, Sehn. Would you really like to waste more time? Every moment we waste bickering could be an opportunity for another party to grab the treasure.”

Sehn grunted and mounted his horse. “Let’s just get this done with. I can’t believe I agreed to travel halfway across the world. If there are not at least seven poems written about me by the time I come back, I shall burn this city to the ground.”

With a gentle nudge, the horse began at a slow walk, with the three men following close behind, and Daniel leading the wagon horses by a leather cord. Daniel was a blond-haired fellow, tall, and while far from ugly, he still lacked Patrick’s elegant charm. He had a thick beard covering his face, but it did little to disguise his youthful look.

“Sehn,” Daniel said as they approached the gates.

“What is it?”

 
“We’re going on a very long journey, and as you know, there will be many dangerous—don’t interrupt me, Sehn!—many dangerous things out there. I need to make sure that you can hold your temper, because while I’m sure there’s nothing out there the Great Sehn can’t handle, just think about how delayed we’ll be if we have to stop every five minutes to kill something that bothers you.”

“Hold my temper? Hah! The Great Sehn is in full control of his emotions. There is little that can shake me. Do not worry yourself, Daniel. There is nothing in this world that can provoke me.”

Daniel eyed Sehn skeptically. “Are you positive of that? Can you promise that no matter what happens, you will hold your temper and move along?”

Sehn laughed. “Please, my subject. This is
me
we’re talking about, not some emotional child.”

Daniel sighed. “Hey, Sehn.”

“What now?”

“I’m better than you at something.”

In a fit of rage, Sehn leaped from his horse and landed on top of Daniel, his mind clouded by anger. Together they rolled off the horse and landed with a thud on the Elven grass.

“You dare insult me! Sehn is the best at every conceivable thing!” Sehn raised a fist, ready to strike.

“This is what we’re talking about, Sehn!” Rillith shouted. While he seemed furious, Patrick only seemed annoyed.

Sehn spat on the ground and got off Daniel. They both dusted themselves off, wiping the dirt from their clothing. “I knew that it was a test,” Sehn lied, forcing pride into his voice. “I just didn’t care. I was actually conducting a secret test of my own. I wanted to see if you could predict my actions and prevent me from attacking. You have failed. As punishment, your firstborn shall be my slave.”

Daniel’s eyes filled with rage. “We’re supposed to be partners, Sehn. I'm not taking your nonsense any longer. If you pull something like that again, then I swear to the gods—”

“Daniel!” Patrick shouted. It was the first time Sehn had ever heard him use such a commanding tone.

 
I don’t care as long as he doesn’t speak that way to me
, Sehn thought as he hopped back onto his mount.

“Ease up, and get back on your horse,” Patrick commanded. “We haven’t even left Elvar yet, and already you two are fighting again.”

Sehn didn’t know if he liked Daniel the best or the least in the group. He was the only one ever willing to trade fists with Sehn—never winning, of course—but on several occasions, Sehn had allowed him to get a few swings in, in the interest of fairness. But regardless, he was no match for Sehn. Even if Daniel allowed himself to believe that the black eye on last month’s hunting trip was because of a well-placed swing, the truth was that Sehn had allowed it on purpose. It was true!

“Get back on your horse, Daniel,” Patrick ordered.

Much to his embarrassment, there was a bruise forming on the back of Daniel’s shoulder. He grunted and grabbed the reins to pull himself up.

“That’s right, Daniel,” Sehn mocked. “Get back on your horse. That shoulder looks like it hurts. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say a motherfucker just got Sehn’d. That’s what it’s called now. Thou hath been Sehn’d, bee-
yotch
! Now, get back on your horse and start working on your apology, slave.”

Daniel was grinding his teeth so hard that Sehn wondered how they didn’t crack in his mouth. “I’ll get you back for that one, Sehn. Just remember what happened when we hunted at the
Ferra
Mountains.”

Sehn winced. The Scratcher-bugs Daniel had placed in Sehn’s bed had bitten him so badly that it had been weeks before the itching went away. Foolish Daniel thought he had placed them there without Sehn knowing. Hah! Of course Sehn knew—he’d only allowed himself to get bitten as a sentiment of his strength. Foolish Daniel.

Sehn and the three horse-mounted Humans, their backup remounts, and supply wagon approached the gate at a sedate pace. They had not yet left the city, and already two of them were filthy, in need of new clothing, and slightly injured.

“Halt!” called an Elven solider.

Four Elven swordsman and two Archers stood guard at the gates of Elvar. They looked cautiously at the group. “I’ve been given official instructions by the Chief of Elvar not to allow you to pass until he has come to see you in person.”

What is my father up to now? He must be a fool if he thinks he can keep me from passing.

“Out of my way, morons, or I shall unleash a magic so powerful that not even a strand of your hair will remain after the destruction.”

The guards exchanged looks, but said nothing, causing Sehn to grow angry. No one had the right to decline Sehn passage.

“Very well,” Sehn said as he dismounted, “I suppose it’s time you met my fireball.”

“Hold, Sehn,” Patrick commanded.

Sehn glared at him. Patrick had no right ordering him around.

From the distance, an entourage of horsemen could be seen; over twenty, the royal escort, with the chief riding center. The sound of stampeding horses echoed through Elvar as the leading riders came into view. There were archers, swordsmen, even a mage or two. Not that it mattered. Sehn could destroy them all with ease.

The lead rider dismounted. He was a tall, muscular Elf. His face was hardened, and he wore a golden helmet. He had the same build as Sehn, yet where Sehn’s face was smooth with youth, the rider’s had the ridges of age. The rider walked up to Sehn and then exchanged knowing glances with Sehn’s traveling companions.

“Father, what is it you want? I am off on a journey to obtain treasure.”

The rider, Suhn, chief of Elvar, commander of all seven war-clans, casually took off his golden helmet and stood before Sehn. He was taller than Sehn by nearly a full head. His eyes were hard, one who had seen battle and lived to speak of it. He shared the same passionate green eyes as his son.

“So I see,” he said, raising a hand and waving behind him. The entourage backed off a bit, but remained nearby. “Sehn, I have come to have a word with my son. Is that too much to ask?”