Questing Sucks (Book 1) (40 page)

Sehn grunted. “Let go of me, peasant. I wish to get this business over with as soon as possible.” Sehn ripped his arm free and turned around to leave. Cah’lia took notice of the way his passionate green eyes complimented the royal clothing. It was shocking. Was this really Sehn? Cah’lia knew at once she’d never again be able to see him like this—it was a onetime deal.

“And just where do you think you’re going? Get back here.” Cah’lia leaped forward and again grabbed his arm, spinning him around to face her.

“What is it now, Cah’lia? Unhand me this instant!”

“Oh no you don’t. You don’t get to dress like a prince and walk away from me.”

“Now what are you on about?”

Cah’lia was unable to control herself. Seeing Sehn in such a majestic light brought out an animal side in her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in possessively. At first Sehn’s eyes widened and he backed away, but when he met her gaze he relaxed, and went with the motion. He grabbed her shoulders, she grabbed his, and once again they kissed. It wasn’t like the other times, no, this was different. This was something more. Cah’lia attacked him, pushing Sehn back against the mirror, leaving a crack in the glass. Even through the newly formed jagged image Sehn looked spectacular.

This is how I’ve always seen him,
Cah’lia realized with a start.

The clothing, the jewelry, and the glow of his eyes, all of it—this was Sehn. For the first time in Cah’lia’s memory he wore his heart on the outside, and it sparked a passion in her. She gripped him tighter and communicated to him what words alone could not say. For all of Sehn’s bravado he melted when their lips touched, sinking into her arms. He fell under her sway.

When they pulled apart Cah’lia looked into his eyes, and she could see the pain and fear—hidden so well behind the mask of arrogance and might. It was so faint it seemed but an illusion, yet it was there.

How much is he suffering?
Cah’lia wondered.
How much does he hurt?

The door to the dressing room burst open, and Cah’lia broke away, throwing her hands behind her back and straightening her dress. Sehn performed a similar maneuver, pretending to adjust his golden earrings.

An elderly man in a black suit stepped inside, and nodded at the two of them. “Greetings, I am Bernard, the mayor’s personal assistant. He is expecting you. Please, your highnesses, right this way.” Cah’lia and Sehn shared a fleeting look before following.

The mayor had an impressive home. Torches and lamps lit the winding stairways that led up to the top floor of the seven-story complex. Oil paintings covered both sides of the walls. Some were of the mayor himself, while others resembled a distant lineage, perhaps grandfathers. Narrow hallways led into wider ones, leading back again into the narrow. Servants shuffled from place to place, offering bows as they came and went, some holding trays with goblets of wine, while others held laundry, or ink and quill.

Bernard led them past a hallway filled with red fluffy couches. Men of importance threw coins at scantily clad Human women, who rewarded them with affectionate stares. It was sickening. The men laughed, and the women offered fake smiles.

Bernard led them through a darker-lit hallway, past sweet smelling tubes filled with spices and exotic fruits. He paused before a wide double-ended door with swirling red letters painted across the archway above, reading—‘Grand Dining Hall.’

“It’s just in there, Your Highnesses.”

Bernard pushed in the door and stepped to the side. A golden light seeped into the dark hallway, illuminating the area around Cah’lia with a marvelous glow. Even Sehn gasped at the display of wealth that greeted them.

Gold. Everything was golden. The tablecloth was inlaid with golden cuffs, the chandelier reflected golden light onto golden plates. The room was wide, far wider than the mayor’s room in Koringrath. Twenty people turned their heads to greet them, delight on each face. They sat together in two horizontally positioned dining tables, with the mayor’s personal table located at the center. Two empty throne-sized chairs awaited them. Cah’lia’s stomach rumbled with apprehension.

These Humans are all well-dressed,
Cah’lia thought.
They must be senators and advisors.

Cah’lia entered the room and Sehn followed closely behind. No one spoke—all stared at what they believed to be Elven royalty. Cah’lia tried to avoid meeting Sehn’s gaze. Everything was up to him now.

The quiet was unsettling. The Mayor, who at the time had been sampling soup from a wooden ladle, paused with an arm still extended. One gentleman, sitting at the rightmost table, whispered something inaudible to an elderly noblewomen next to him.

Come on, Sehn,
play the part!

Sehn walked to the center of the room, gliding along the carpet with improvised grace. He took a deep breath. “Most humbled am I,” he began, with a far-reaching grandiose voice. “For this prince…to be offered thy food, thy wine, thusly have I been graced, as is the grace upon thee. For along with my honor hath such grace been granted. So too hath same grace been extended unto thee, and may the city of Hahl shine ever for it.”

Cah’lia worried that she might be the one to crack.
“
He’s incredible,” she whispered to herself.

The Mayor stood from the table, his procession following soon after. “Welcome to my city, Prince Saerith. It has been many, many years, since someone of royalty—the prince nonetheless—blessed us with his presence. Not only am I honored, but I am exalted at seeing you among us. I stand before you to offer you all of my comforts, and I shall see you leave pleased. Oh, yes, you will indeed leave happy, or my name isn’t—”

No!
Cah’lia screamed in her mind. She’d forgotten all about the Mayor’s name. There’d be no way Sehn would maintain his composure after hearing it. This wasn’t good!

“Rumpus Pumpus
Pumplestein
the fourth,” he finished.

Sehn blinked. “Rum…” Sehn whispered. His cheeks inflated, and his face turned red.

He’s going to laugh, he’s going to laugh!

Tears fell from Sehn’s eyes, his face turning blue from the lack of oxygen. Finally, his cheeks deflated, and he seemed to regain his composure.

“Is everything all right, Prince Saerith?”

Sehn waved a hand. “Mine cheeks inflate with joy the purest, such as mine eyes fill with tears. For so joyous I am, on such joyous of days, too have you made me, my good Mayor P-,” he struggled. “P-Pumpus Rumpus.”

“Ah, it’s Rumpus Pumpus, Prince Saerith.” Sehn nodded, but said nothing further. The Mayor directed them to sit in the exotic chairs at his personal dining table, while the other Humans clapped then returned to their seats. Cah’lia crossed her fingers.

Please Sehn, make it through this meal...just one meal!

Chapter 39: Self Control

 

So far Sehn was behaving himself, and with each passing second Cah’lia continued to grow anxious. Would Sehn really be able to make it through the night without slipping up?

The mayor offered them seats at his personal dining table, going as far as to pull out their chairs, and wave his arms in an inviting gesture. Cah’lia took a seat next to Sehn, with the mayor sitting across from them. He smiled and offered them drinks, while the smell of pork wafted in from the adjacent kitchen.

“Would either of you care to delight in some of my finest wines?” Rumpus said. “I offer only the most delicate and tender of wines to such esteemed guests.” Sehn leaned forward in his chair, and Cah’lia’s worry doubled. Sehn behaved terribly when he was drunk.

“Such would honor thee, mayor Rumpus. For good wine is but a gateway to good spirit, as is the nature of such things.”

The important senators, nobles, and advisors at the nearby tables, twisted in their seats and hung on Sehn’s every word, clapping at each of his compliments. The mayor joined in. “Ah, wonderful, I shall bring you the best wine you have ever tasted. And you, my good princess Saerina?”

Cah’lia was caught off guard. With all of her attention focused on Sehn she forgot her own role in things. “Ah, yes,” she said. “I beg of thee, offer to me your finest wines as well, and allow thy gratitude to forever reside in your heart.”

Rumpus clapped again. “Splendid, splendid! Servant-woman,” he said pointing at a scrawny Human holding an empty tray. “Bring them wine. Quickly, now.”

The doors parted to the grand dining hall, and three half-naked dancers entered, followed by a man in a beige suit. Men carrying musical instruments followed soon after, and together they played a melody in Sehn and Cah’lia’s honor.

“Dinner will be served shortly,” Rumpus assured. “For the time being please enjoy the entertainment, and let us all share in conversation.”

One by one the rich Humans stood from their seats, individually greeting Sehn and Cah’lia. “It is a pleasure to meet you, Prince Saerith,” one said. “My name is
Rabirt
Kolily
, and if possible I’d like to speak with you some time about expanding my business into one of your cities.”

Sehn shook the man’s hand. “So too shall I consider it.”

Another noble stepped towards Sehn, a young woman with flowing brown hair tied together with a silk cord. As Sehn shook the woman’s hand, Cah’lia’s heart skipped a beat. She knew Sehn was only acting, but he was growing more and more into the part. There wasn’t a single trace of haughty arrogance in his expression. His green eyes were somehow smoother, more intelligent, and to Cah’lia’s delight they were decidedly sexy. Of course, she’d never let Sehn know that, or he’d make her life miserable for it.

One after another Sehn greeted the important men and women of the Kingdom. Finally, when the last satisfied man—a senator from Koringrath—returned contently to his seat, Sehn breathed a sigh, and sat back down at the center table.

“So,” Rumpus asked. “What brings you two to Hahl? If I may be so fortunate as to know the answer—please do not take my questions for prying.”

Cah’lia spoke informally. “Be at ease, and ask away. To answer your question, my brother and I are on a diplomatic mission to the Kingdom’s capital, for a very important meeting with the king. We usually like to travel alone, thus the lack of any guard, and it seems to have been quite the foolish choice. Great misfortune has befallen us.”

Rumpus’ mouth fell open, and he held a hand to his chest. “Dear Gods, what misfortune do you speak of?”

Cah’lia dug deep into her emotions and tried to make her lie convincing. “We were attacked by bandits and we barely survived. That’s why we showed up in such ragged clothing. We escaped with our lives, but, as you can see they took most of our money and our horses. It’s of no concern, though. My brother and I will just travel on foot. I’m sure your king will understand.”

Cah’lia wasn’t positive with the golden light beaming from every direction, but the mayor’s face seemed to turn a shade of green. “We won’t be having that!” Rumpus declared. “I’ll provide you with all the coin, horses, and provisions you could possibly need. What kind of mayor would I be if I didn’t assist with such an important diplomatic mission?”

Cah’lia concealed the grin beginning to form. This was going even smoother than she expected. “A-are you serious?” Cah’lia asked, faking surprise. “You’d be that kind to us?”

Rumpus bounced in his chair, shaking wildly with joy. “Of course! In fact, I can’t wait to tell my wife that her very own husband assisted the prince and princess of the Elven people in their time of need. I do feel awful for you two, though. I mean, what with the both of you getting roughed up by bandits and all.”

“Ehem,” Sehn coughed. “I’d just like to add that I was in the woods relieving myself when the bandits attacked, and was in no way, shape, or form, defeated by them. In fact—”

Cah’lia kicked Sehn under the table, and then reached down and jabbed him in the ribs. For a split-second Sehn glared at her, his eyes regaining their arrogant intensity, but in an instant he returned to his princely alter ego.

The mayor looked confused. “Ah ha, I see. Anyway, I’d be happy to assist you two, and I do hope you mention to my king how…generous I’ve been.”

Sehn nodded. “Of course we will.” He then continued formally. “Whence the gates of the Kingdom stand open before thee, and greetings to us doth thy King. It is in the name ‘Pumpus,’ for which thy thanks are to be given.”

Rumpus offered a sitting bow. “You are most gracious, my good Prince Saerith. Ah! The food is ready.” Rumpus clapped his hands, and servants sprang into action, laying plates before the mayor and his guests.

The music was lively, and Cah’lia found herself enjoying the deception. The dancers leapt on top of the tables, strutting around and singing along with the chorus, while Sehn engaged in polite chatter with the mayor. The tables were pulled together for the meal, so that conversations could be formed between all present.

Cah’lia didn’t care much for the rich Human women. They were arrogant, flashy, and showed a great contempt for the lesser fortunate. “So I told him,” a repugnant woman named Gertrude rambled. “If you think I’m going to allow a farmer to marry my daughter, then I’ll have you hung, simple as that. Dare I say the young lad and his father were quite inclined to flee for their lives?”

Cah’lia half-listened, and honed in on Sehn. For once she was proud of the idiot. He was doing remarkable. Every so often someone would make a remark that angered him, but no one except Cah’lia noticed. When the chief of city ordinances remarked how he was the greatest chief of city ordinances in the history of the world, the lower-right portion of Sehn’s lip fluttered. No one would recognize it but Cah’lia, and she was happy Sehn was keeping his fury in check.

It’s stupid that he’s angry in the first place,
Cah’lia thought.
Honestly, is Sehn seriously upset because someone said that they’re a better chief of city ordinances than he is?

The meal was delicious. After weeks of unremarkable and bland food, Cah’lia savored every single bite of it. Never had anything tasted so wonderful. Plates upon plates of plump pork roast, followed by sweet biscuits, were served in heaps around the table. Wine glasses were refilled the moment they emptied, and merry conversation came from all around. As for Sehn, much to Cah’lia’s disbelief he was wearing a genuine smile.

Of course he is,
she thought.
Sehn has always dreamt of being a prince or a king. He’ll never admit it to himself, but I know that he’s at least slightly enjoying this.

Sehn was eating everything on his plate, even the vegetables. The way his cheeks puffed and his nose curled was a clear indication of his disgust. Yet, despite Sehn’s lack of hunger, each time the mayor clapped his hands and brought over more food, Sehn would look over to Cah’lia and a fire would light in his eyes. He devoured whatever the mayor put before him, pausing between every mouthful to take another glance at her. Cah’lia knew Sehn was looking to her for the strength to go on. For the first time since separating from Patrick she felt her eyes grow moist. She blinked, and tore the thoughts from her mind. She promised herself there’d be no crying until after they’d reached the Kingdom’s capital.

“How do you like the biscuits, Prince Saerith? I have my own personal baker that prepares them. Yummy, aren’t they?”

“Indeed,” Sehn responded. “They are.”

“You must try some of these carrots as well. Oh, and taste the salted beef.”

Sehn looked to be on the verge of puking, and Cah’lia tensed as she muttered a silent prayer to the Gods. Sehn’s lips quivered and his stomach twitched. Cah’lia feared he would hurl up the night’s meal, but once again he looked over to her, meeting her eyes for only a moment, before forcing the food down and politely thanking the mayor.

He’s really doing it? I can’t believe it. Sehn, of all people, is actually pulling something like this off.

For what seemed the tenth time that night, Sehn’s wine glass was refilled by a scantily clad servant, and in one gulp Sehn drained the purple liquid. “This wine really is quite good, mayor
Ru-rumpumpumawump
.”

“I’m sorry. What was that, my good Prince Saerith?”

Immediately alarm and fear crept into Cah’lia’s spine.
No!
she thought.
Sehn is getting drunk. Oh no, no, no! This is the worst thing that can possibly happen.

Sehn rubbed his eyes and appeared to regain himself. “Ah, I said that your wine is most fabulous, mayor
Dumpurumpabump
,” he slurred. The wine was refilled again, and Cah’lia resisted the urge to tackle the servant. This needed to end soon, or their entire plan would be ruined.

“My hearing is not the best, so I must be mishearing you. For an instant I thought you mispronounced my name, but it is of no matter. So, when would you two like to depart? I can have horses ready for you as early as tomorrow morning.”

Cah’lia answered before Sehn could open his mouth and make things worse. “That would be wonderful,” she said quickly. “Tomorrow morning sounds great.”

The mayor clapped his hands. “It shall be done! Ah, Prince Saerith, are you quite all right?”

Cah’lia raised an eyebrow in confusion, and then choked on her wine when she saw Sehn’s face. Sometime during the last thirty seconds he’d gone from being a handsome prince, into something else entirely. His left eye drooped down, hanging lazily from the side of his face. His lips receded, showing his full front teeth in the same silly expression worn by horses. He was also chuckling, his chest heaving back and forth while he laughed at nothing in particular.

“M-mayo…mayor
Rumpabubabub
, did you know
thaaaaaat
I c-can fight with swords?”

The mayor rubbed his chin, and then shrugged. “I see. That’s wonderful, I suppose. princess Saerina, perhaps your bother has had…too much wine?”

“I like birds,” Sehn whistled. “Birds are cool.”

Cah’lia nodded at the mayor. Things could still be salvaged if they left before Sehn said anything revealing.