Raber Wolf Pack Book One (12 page)

“I don’t want to change you. I just don’t want your pack to ever fear you. I’ve lived that.” The last few words came out quiet as the pain of what that felt like sucks me in. I shake my head, pulling myself away from it.

His thumb caresses my cheek in a touch so gentle that tears prickle the backs of my eyes. “I never want you to feel fear here. This is your home. You’re safe here.” A tear escapes and I bat it away quickly, not wanting to be a wuss.

Xavier kisses me. This time it’s in a tender and loving way, his lips caress and care for mine. I fall into him, turn, and straddle him in the chair, feeling his hard erection pressing against my heat. Fire burns and all I care about is fucking him. ‘
Need you,’
I think.

“Take off your pants,” he orders, lifting me to my feet. I make quick work of the task as he opens his fly and his dick springs free. Heavens, he is so unbelievably long, hard, and thick.
And mine
. I climb back onto the chair and straddle him, his cock poised at my entrance, and lower myself hard onto his shaft, screaming out as I do.

I ride him hard, moving up and down and grinding my hips. I set off again and again, cries falling from my mouth. His fingers dig into my hips, guiding my movements. After a few more strokes, he is squirting his seed inside of me, hot and sexy as hell.

I wrap my arms around his neck and fall into him, sweat glistening on my forehead. Our ragged breathing is in tune with one another as we start to fall down from the high.

“That’s enough today. It’s been a shit day,” Xavier says. “Let me take you back to our room so I can fuck you all night, and we can get some sleep in there somewhere.” I smile, nodding my head. I’d love nothing better.

LYING ON XAVIER’S
chest, I enjoy the rise and fall of his breathing as it lulls me to a very happy place. A place where there is no hurt, no pain, just peace and happiness. I want to be in that space forever. I never imagined I’d find it and in the course of twenty-four hours, my entire life has been uprooted and changed. For the better. No, scratch that, for the best.

This right here, this is what I envisioned my life being. The warmth that fills me is nothing I’ve ever experienced before and I have to say, I love it.

“I’m glad you love it, babe, get used to it.” His chest rumbles with his words and I run my fingers through the small amount of black hair on his chest, smiling.

“It’s going to be an adjustment for me.” That is the understatement of the year.

“Zara.” He moves down the bed and lies on his side. Our eyes lock, intensity pouring out of his. “I know this is an adjustment. But this is serious shit here. I need you to listen.”

I suck in a deep breath. Nothing is ever good when it’s
serious
. “Okay,” I say softly, hoping whatever words come out of his mouth won’t crush me.

“You have to be strong. You can’t let any of the females think you are weak. Yes, you’ve been dealt some serious shit. Yes, you deserve time to deal with that shit and find your path. Babe, you do that shit here, in bed with me. You do not do that shit out there with them. Even the males.”

I blow out deep. He’s right, so right. If the any of the pack see me as weak, all they have to do is challenge me. Shit.

“I’ve seen your spark, Zara. When you’re pissed off, I see it in your eyes. You need to tap into that. You may be feeling totally different on the inside, and we will deal with that shit just you and me, but on the outside, you are strong, sure, and you know your shit.”

I suck in all of his words like a sponge knowing he’s right. Knowing that any sign of weakness is bad. Weakness could get me killed.

“I’ll try.”

His hand cups my chin and fire breathes from his eyes. “You try damn hard, Zara. You pull from whatever strength that got you through all that time locked up. You tap into that because, baby, that shit made you stronger than you think.” Did it? I never thought of it like that. Hell, never thought I’d be here thinking about this scenario.

All I can do is nod.

“I know this shit is a lot to take in, but you’re going to see the rest of the pack tomorrow and you gotta get your shit together before we do. Got me?” Do I
got
him. That’s the question of the year right there. I do. I got him more than he thinks.

“I’ll take care of it.” My chest draws tight, my stomach clenching. I’ve gotta do this shit. I have no choice. And then I smile, I can really be myself here. I can be the
me
that I was meant to be, even though the load I carry with me is rough, I can do this. I can. I will.

“I know you will. Get some sleep, Zara.” He pulls my head back to his chest, wrapping his arm around me.

“Yeah, Xavier. Night.” I find sleep difficult because my mind plays out tons of different scenarios, trying to figure out how I’ll handle the next day. Some scare the shit out of me, while others bring a smile to my face. Xavier is right. A weaker female would have given in that first week, hell the first day. I am stronger than I thought. I fall asleep with that dancing in my head.

MY TITS LAY PRESSED
against Xavier’s hardwood desk, my hips up, and legs spread wide. Xavier thrusts into my body as I moan, clamping my hands onto the desk to ground me to the earth. He grunts out his release and collapses half on me, half on the desk, panting from his workout.

We’ve been in Xavier’s office most of the morning. He spoke on the phone to his guys and I continued my search for Nana. I’m positive he made better headway than I did. Then Xavier decided he needed me, and hell, who am I kidding, I needed him too. That brings us to now as we lie here catching our breaths.

A loud knock hits the door. ‘
Shit. They’re fucking or just fucked. He’s gonna be pissed I’m interrupting,’
Max thinks from the other side. “It’s Max and he knows we were fucking.”

“Good. Let him know what is mine.” He lifts up and squeezes my ass so hard I’m sure they’ll be marks there. They of course go away quickly, but the one that matters on my neck will be there for eternity. I like them and I like all of the others knowing that he belongs to me. He wears my mark now and hopefully, his pack will acknowledge that.

He slaps my ass hard. “Pants on,” he orders, pulling out, reminding me of his two syllable answers. Another quirk of his.

I rise and quickly pull on my pants as he zips his fly. I sit on his lap and run my fingers through my hair. Damn, I bet look like a hot mess. My stomach growls. “You’re hungry.” It wasn’t a question. It was a demand. “I never fed you breakfast,” he growls.
Fuck!

I want to put him at ease. We had so many other pressing things and I didn’t even think of it. “It’s okay. I’ll eat soon.”

“You’ll eat right fucking now.” He picks up the phone and dials. “Bring Zara some food to my office.” He doesn’t wait for a response and hangs up.

“Thank you. Remember?” The knock reoccurs and Xavier ignores my comment.

“In.” Max comes in with worry on his face. “Sit.” He does. “First, smell,” Xavier tells him and Max sucks in a deep breath. “Well?”

“Besides sex? I smell nothing. The smell Zara had yesterday is gone, but I still don’t smell you two as mates.”

“Fuck,” Xavier grunts and I can’t help but feel a pang of disappointment myself. “What did you find out?” I wasn’t aware that Max was looking for anything so my ears perk up, eager for the information.

“Not a whole hell of a lot. Ty’s hunkered down in his den. I have eyes on him, but he’ll know right away. I need the names of the other packs he took out.” He looks to me expectantly. Confidence. Got it.

I give him what I know. “Ren, Golden, Timber and Grand Lake.” Remembering that I had a role in all those wolves’ deaths is like a knife to the gut. Heavens, I’m worse than he is. Those damn black strikes will never go away.

‘No, you are not. Stop that shit right now,’
Xavier chimes into my thoughts.

‘Get out of my head,’
I fire back and he chuckles. I shake my head.

“Right,” Max speaks, gauging Xavier and me. “I’ll look into the remaining packs. There aren’t a lot left.” His voice is solemn.

“No, there aren’t,” Xavier says thoughtfully, his hand moving up and down my back. I love it when he touches me.

‘And I love touching you.’

‘Damn it!’
I’ve never been on the receiving end of someone listening to my thoughts. That alone is going to take some getting used to.

“What allies does your father have?” Allies? I couldn’t stand my father, let alone know who he did business with.

“I don’t know, but my guess is no one.” Another knock comes to the door.

“In,” Xavier demands and I elbow him again. Damn men.

Marissa walks in with a scowl on her face and when she focuses on me sitting on Xavier’s lap, her face turns red.

‘
You fucking little bitch. Think you can trick my man into mating you. I will fucking destroy you,’
she thinks. Her nose lifts to the air in the room. ‘
She doesn’t smell the same. Why doesn’t she smell the same?’
The paranoia in her tone is kind of funny, but I don’t laugh.

‘Marissa thinks I’m a fake and tricking you. She thinks she’s going to destroy me. Gonna be hard to do when I rip her throat out,’
I think to Xavier.
‘She can also smell a change in my scent, but not us together.’

Xavier chuckles and Marissa’s mouth drops open. ‘
He’s laughing. He never laughs. Ever. What the hell is she doing to him?’
she thinks.

‘Now she thinks I’m doing something to you to make you laugh. Maybe I put a spell on you,’
I think the last part in a scary witch voice, making Xavier’s chuckles turn into a full-blown laugh. His laughter only encourages me to want to do this more. I want to hear that sound over and over again because I gave it to him. Pride blooms inside of me.

“What is so funny?” Marissa snaps, setting the platter down on the table. Fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and rolls with butter and milk. Milk? And don’t they do breakfast? Pancakes, bacon, and eggs? My stomach growls at that moment and I decide I don’t give a shit. I’ll eat all of this in one fell swoop.

“Do you have any diet soda?” I ask, ignoring her question and really feeling hungry. I haven’t felt actual hunger in so long it’s foreign to me. But I want to devour this food.

“Alpha X, what is going on?” She crosses her arms over her chest, pushing her boobs up and nearly showing nipple. My wolf growls. This female must die.

“Might want to cover those up. I get really horny seeing other women’s nipples.” I wiggle my ass into Xavier’s hard erection and he groans. Confidence, strength. I got this. I chant those words in my head, hoping that they sink into my broken soul.

‘Unless you want me to fuck you in front of these two, I suggest you stop moving around.’

I laugh and give another wiggle for good measure. This is fun. No, really fun. My heart swells as he swats my hip playfully. Marissa’s mouth drops at my comment as she watches the interaction between my mate and me. You’d think she was in some other universe and had never seen mates together.

“You are not mates,” she states boldly to Xavier’s growl. I pat his arm, trying to calm him. “I don’t smell it and I won’t believe it until I do.”

Xavier’s arm muscles tick and his nostrils begin to flare. I worry that his wolf wants to come out to play, because mine sure does, and that shit would be bad at the moment. Max just sits there, smiling at the whole scene as it plays out.

‘Don’t,’
I warn Xavier.
‘Let me deal with this.’
I can handle this. I can do this. I can. I will. I let no emotions play on my face, and I’m an expert at that shit.

“Believe it or not, here I am. Oh, and thanks for the food. I hope it’s not poisoned because Xavier is going to eat some. You wouldn’t want to be the cause of him getting sick now would you?”

‘How did she know I thought about it? Now, I wish I had done it just for her. There’s always next time.’
She smirks. My hand stills at the food.

“On second thought, I’ll drink the milk. Wouldn’t want anyone to get any ideas.” I pick up the glass and take a sip.