Rage to Adore (10 page)

“You are mine,” he said smiling. Tani managed a half-smile
in return because at that moment as he held her close, she felt only fear. Her
eyes darted to the street outside, senses attuned to danger and the feeling
that they were being watched. “Come inside,” she urged. “It’s not safe out here
for us.”

The handsome man in front of her continued to smile,
following her inside, linking his hands with hers. Tani felt his touch but it
somehow it didn’t bring her the comfort it should have. Fighting to eradicate
her fears, she took him into the sitting room where they sat together on the
couch. Tani tried desperately to focus on what she needed to tell him. She
turned toward him and took a deep breath. The time had come.

“I watched you in the bazaar,” she confessed. “You gave food
to a small child. He was undernourished but it seemed as if you feed him
regularly.” Lorcan appeared startled by her words and then she realized that he
was embarrassed. “I thought it was beautiful,” she said quickly, “that you care
so much. But…” Here she paused as his serious eyes met hers. “Who was he? I
only ask because it seems we are fated, but I don’t know very much about you
and I would like to know everything.”

“I’m ashamed to say that the boy is a relation of mine,” he
said quietly.

Tani’s heart jumped, the sudden unwelcome awareness that he
could indeed have a son and a lover who relied on him washed over her skin,
causing it to tighten just as her hands clenched into fists, nails digging into
her flesh. Jealousy. She had never experienced that emotion before.

As if he could sense her distress or read her mind, Lorcan
immediately brought his palm to her face. “No it’s not that,” he said. “His
mother is my cousin and the boy is the result of a rape. In fact a rape by the
fighter you saw tonight.”

Tani’s eyes flew wide in shock. “That’s his child?” She
could hardly process that such an engaging child could be offspring of such a
brutish male. “His mother must be very beautiful.”

Lorcan’s eyes gazed at hers with sadness. “She is. She was,
is the daughter of an aristocrat as you know, but once pregnant, even though
she was raped, because she refused to abort the child they disowned her. She
was cast out. My uncle, her father, refused to help her in any way. Even though
the rapist is a slave he could have still married her, but he abandoned her to
her fate.”

“But you didn’t,” Tani whispered.

“No, she’s my cousin, and my mother adores her, so I try to
visit when I can.”

“That’s very noble of you.”

He almost blushed, appearing uncomfortable with her praise.
Another confusing contradiction. The Esseni of Hate, a good samaritan. She
remembered then that he asked nothing about the essence that he held or her
own. His forehead dipped to hers again.

“I’m not noble, Tanith,” he said quietly. “I just try to do
the right thing.”

“We need to talk about our situation,” said Tani, “but I’m
not sure it’s safe here. Can we meet somewhere tomorrow? I need you to
understand what being an Esseni means, who you are, who we are.”

Lorcan smiled. “I know some of it.” His hand brushed her
cheek again. “But you’re right. I have an apartment in town. Can you be there
tomorrow around six? After we talk I’ll take you to dinner.”

She nodded and he gave her the address. “I look forward to
your instruction,” he said as she led him to the door, his lips gently brushing
hers. It was only after he had gone that Tani felt a shiver of apprehension as
she replayed the conversation in her head and heard the tone he had used. It
almost sounded as if he would be instructing her, not the other way around. But
instructing her in what?

Suspicion

Tanith wakened the next morning with a slick coat of fear
lying heavy on her chest. The night had brought no comfort. She had been
restless, unable to sleep and now her whole body felt dull with aching
pressure, the weight of it settling on her lungs so that she awoke gasping for
breath. Not what she expected after the initial excitement of finally—
finally
finding her Esseni partner.

Her mind in turmoil, she sat up slowly, trying to sort
through the gamut of emotions ricocheting in her head. The confusion she felt
toward Lorcan was even more tangled than before, one moment veering toward deep
desire and aching need then bouncing over to reveal slivers of fear at the
thought of bonding with him. Playing heavily on her mind was the overwhelming
sensation she was being watched. Last night particularly as she stood on the
steps with Lorcan, the waves of dark anger she had sensed then still clung to
her skin. The ecstatic joy of the Taijitu mark after having watched and waited
for its appearance for so long had ebbed away, the remaining residue a bitter
unease that had her on edge. Could she really trust Lorcan? And what about
Morana? She definitely had secrets.

Tani jumped out of bed, no longer able to contain her need
for action. It was still early morning and the house was quiet. She knew Morana
had mentioned being absent this morning due to an unavoidable engagement she
had with other members of the Serpens sanguini council, the Vita Cruor. A
perfect time for Tani to visit the library.

Once dressed and breakfasted, having made sure the servants
were busy, Tani shut the door to the library and scanned the bookshelves.
Quickly finding the right book, its image filed away in her mind’s eye, she
pulled it forward and waited. Moments later the soft grind of wood against
stone as the shelves to her left slid open, revealing a dark stairway. Thankful
again for the wiccani light magick she possessed, Tani whispered the kindling
phrase, “
Aduro in vita lucis
,” and waited as a small spark of white
light settled into her palm, growing to the size of an egg glowing and
radiating enough for her to see through the pitch. Having located a switch on
the inside of the stairway and knowing that she would be able to get out, Tani
decided to close the door in case a servant or Morana should arrive.

Darkness enveloped her as the library disappeared, the glow
from her palms creating shadows on the surrounding walls, highlighting claw
marks and streaks of red that could only be blood. Tani’s heart thumped loudly.
Morana was a sanguini, a blood drinker. Was this where she kept a bloodslave
hidden away? Most Ophiuchi paraded their bloodslaves openly to the world as a
sign of their wealth and status. But Morana had something to hide. A dirty
little secret. Tani began her descent thinking that if she were wise she would
turn back and focus on her mission. This was a distraction and could lead to a
complication she could do without. Then again, Borealis would want to know what
Morana was hiding. She was one of his informants but he didn’t trust her one
hundred percent. It was always useful to have something to hold over an
informant’s head should they become a liability.

Tani didn’t have to go far before the stairs gave way to a
small corridor, barely six feet in length. At the end was a wooden door. She
turned the handle. Tension gave way to disappointment. The bare cell was empty.
It was reasonably large for a prison, perhaps thirty feet square. There was no
furniture, but the walls, painted a soft eggshell blue, were covered in numbers
and symbols drawn in white chalk.

Tani recognized the numbers and letters as chemical formulas
and DNA sequences, the symbols as abstract representations of animals. As she
looked closer her heart gave a lurch. The symbol most in evidence was that of
the caladri, a rare white bird that existed only on the planet Lyra. They were
rarely seen. Tani herself had only ever seen one. She had held the creature and
fed it seeds from her own hands. She even knew its name, Fiducia, and the
person who had tamed it.

Ziad Nejem, her sanguini friend who had been missing for
months since the Eunomi last visited Ophiuchus to save Tyr and Irina from the
Discordants. Had Ziad been here all that time? She peered more closely at the
writing, trying to see if she could recognize his hand. It looked familiar.

Why would Morana hold Ziad prisoner? A vague whisper of a
conversation echoed in her ears. She recalled a joke she had shared with Cassi,
a warrior friend on the day Ziad had disappeared. They had been directed to a brothel
in search of a Discordant called Abrasax.

“I was told to go to the Gilded Lily,”
said Cassi. “I hope she wasn’t lying.”

Tani spotted a sign with a large golden
lily painted on a red background. Music was blaring from inside. “Who told you?”

“An Ophiuchi class-A bitch called
Morana.”

“Why did she help you? Does she have a
grudge against Abrasax?”

“I got the impression she’d sell her own
mother,” said Cassi, as she cased the building for a way in. “She would
probably sell her whole family, for the right price.”

“Oh. So what did you give her?”

“That’s the weird thing—she asked me
about Ziad, whether he had a female or not.”

Tani gaped “Ziad!”

“Yeah. I should have mentioned it to him
but I forgot. You don’t think she might try and kidnap him or something, do
you? Use him as a sex slave.” Cassi and Tani were both laughing now at the
thought of Ziad enthralled to a woman. “Not Ziad. He’s a beautiful guy, but he’s
too wrapped up in his work to bother with females. She probably needs his
healing abilities for something.”

“I’m sure he’d be happy to help. Ziad’s
the most generous male I know,” Cassi said.

They had thought nothing of it, distracted by their task and
even after it became clear that Ziad was missing, neither she nor Cassi had put
two and two together. Damn! Tani was now positive that Ziad had been here. But
if that was the case…where was he now?

There was nothing else to see in the room other than a few
drops of blood splattered on the blue floor. Tani wished she had the power of revelation,
the ability to open the mind’s eye to the residue of previous events. It was a
gift that very few wiccani possessed. Those who did were often members of the
Eunomi Enforcement Squad, their skill particularly useful when investigating the
scene of a crime. It was imperative she touch base with Antares so he could
follow up on this lead. Maybe he could get an EES member to come and take a
reading. Ziad was a close friend of hers, a healer of great skill and renown.
She wanted him back, safe where he belonged.

Tani left the library and quickly returned to her room.
Dressing for comfort and practicality rather than effect, she left the house
wearing a gray tank under a white shirt, black combat pants and a jacket that
hid a multitude of weapons sheathed in a variety of hidden places. The urge to
feel more like herself and less like a spoiled lady of leisure was too strong
to ignore.

First stop Sami’s house, then Antares. Tani wanted to meet
the cousin Lorcan had spoken of, the young girl cast off by her family for
giving birth to a child born of rape. Tani hoped her insight would give her a
better understanding of the man who was disturbing her equilibrium.

* * * * *

Jaro cursed violently on leaving Phenex’s presence. He hated
having to follow his orders, but as a slave he had no choice. To disobey would
be suicide, especially after the moronic stunt he had pulled last night. His
brief moment of defiance had cost him dearly, his body and face still aching
and swollen. Many of his wounds were beginning to heal, although his face was
still ravaged. For quick healing he could thank his Lyrani blood, inherited
from his father, a Lyrani by birth. Usually it was a blessing but definitely
not now. If he was slower to heal, then someone else would have been charged
with this particular task. The order dispensed by Phenex that morning had him
strung up by the balls. He would rather have plucked out his own eyes, cut off
his hands and been whipped another hundred times than have to do what Phenex
commanded. He had no choice.

“Jaro,” he had said, “I need your service. There is a pretty
package awaiting me and I want you to go fetch it. I need not tell you that the
Lady Sitri is not to know about this package.” Phenex raised his brows, making
it obvious to Jaro what kind of package he was collecting.

“Where am I to go, my lord?” asked Jaro, expecting to be
directed to one of the many brothels in the city. “You will need to reclaim
this package by stealth, follow and retrieve. Here are the details.” He
proceeded to give Jaro a description and the current whereabouts of the
package.

The universe was surely laughing at him, playing a cosmic
joke. He had planned to avoid her after witnessing that scene with Lorcan last
night. She was detrimental to his health, his body and heart still bruised, not
only from the previous night’s battle, but from the savage beating he’d
received courtesy of his brother. And now he was charged with her kidnap and
giving her to Phenex! His gut churned with nausea, the thought of Phenex with
her killed him. Lorcan and her, well, that had already driven a knife in his
chest—but Phenex and her, the thought of his master’s hands on the redhead’s pale
flesh forced the knife deeper, slicing into his chest to leave a gaping hole.

Fuck! The whole situation was insane! He didn’t even know
this woman, had only just learned her name, and apart from that heated moment
of frenzy in the alley she might as well be a figment of his imagination. She
was every fantasy he’d ever had come true. If he could have conjured the woman
of his dreams into being, she would be it. Tanith Laska. The redheaded witch.

* * * * *

The three suns were high overhead by the time Tanith entered
the maze of alleyways that led to the bazaar. As she walked, Tani’s skin
prickled, the hairs on the back of her neck standing to attention, sending
fight-or-flight messages to her brain. She was being followed. Heart galloping
in her chest, she entered the more open crowded square of the bazaar, hoping to
lose her pursuer in the heaving throng. Turning, she caught a glimpse of dark
hair before the jostling mass carried her pursuer out of sight, at which point
she sped up, darting into the side street that led to the young urchin’s home.

There wasn’t much time before she was due at Lorcan’s. Her
stomach churned in anticipation of that meeting. Evading a tail was a concern
and a time-consuming irritation. Who was it following her and why? Was Morana
merely keeping an eye on her? Tani lengthened her stride, hoping to lose them
in the twisting maze of alleyways.

Hugging the side of a building, Tani almost tripped over a
pile of debris lying on the road. A small hand diverted her wobble and Tani
stared down, surprised to see a pair of blue-gray eyes appraising her
cautiously. “Watch out,” said the small boy she knew as Sami. “Folks leave
stuff all over the place here. It’s a death trap.” He smiled engagingly. Tani
pulled out a coin in thanks, pressing it into his palm before he could protest.
“Well then, thank you for saving my life,” she said.

Sami gazed down at the coin as if he’d never seen one
before. His doubtful expression morphed to a grin. “I could be your guide,” he
said, hope shining in his eyes. “You’re a newbie here, aren’t you? I saw you
the other day in the bazaar. You was looking for something. Did you find it?”

How perceptive he was, this small undernourished child. If
only he knew the truth. “In fact, today,” she said slowly, not wanting to
frighten him, “I was looking for you, or rather your mama.” He tensed, suddenly
on the alert. “It’s okay,” Tani soothed, realizing how skittish he was. “I don’t
mean any harm. I just want to talk to her. We have a mutual friend.”

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “Who’s that then?”

“Rodach.” Tani surprised herself, calling Lorcan by his
surname as Sami had before, voicing the word as if it were a magickal spell.
Sami visibly relaxed but still looked a little doubtful. He chewed his lip
until he finally came to a decision. “Oh well, if you know Rodach, it’s probably
okay.” He had obviously decided that her link to Lorcan gave her the stamp of
approval.

“Is your mama at home or at work?”

He hesitated before answering. “She went down to the river
to wash clothes. She should be back soon.”

“Can I wait for her at your house?”

“Outside, not in,” he said, erring on the side of caution.
She knew his trust would need to be earned. “That’s fine. It’s too nice a day
to wait inside.” Tani turned with him, fighting the urge to take his small hand
in hers. He was such a small, frail thing. Her heart so big with compassion and
love, it was all she could do not to take him in her arms and hug him.

He broke into a run. “Mama’s back!” he shouted, darting
toward a thin blonde figure carrying a large basket. The woman looked up at his
shout. The tired features of her face, prematurely aged by the harshness of her
existence, broke into a smile at the sight of the small boy running toward her.

Tani was just about to break into a jog and follow him when
a large hand wrapped around her waist from behind, a second one snaking around her
head to clamp over her mouth. Her assailant was a hard wall of muscle and smelled
foul, of stale sweat and dried blood. Tani nearly gagged, cursing herself
silently for the lapse in concentration that had allowed her stalker to attack.
Warrior training kicked in. She slammed her head backward, connecting with his
jaw, the loud crack vibrating pain that rattled every tooth in her mouth. The
shock caused him to slacken his grip, allowing Tani to twist, her hand grabbing
between his legs to jerk his balls as hard as she could. The force of her
assault had him roaring at the double whammy and he lurched sideways, releasing
her from his grasp.