Ransom (9 page)

“There's certainly plenty of food.”

“We'll be heading out not long after they arrive.”

“Good.” She set down her fork. “I'm worried about Jillian. I just want this nightmare over.”

“That's understandable.”

“But I have to trust God will keep her safe until she's rescued.”

Unnerved by her words and the sentiment behind them, he said, “Can you really do that? Trust Him? Aren't you angry that He allowed your sister to be put in harm's way to begin with?”

Her brow furrowed. “I don't blame God for somebody else's actions.”

“You're much more magnanimous than I am,” he said. He couldn't help the anger that simmered deep in his gut over Liam's death. “My friend Liam was a man of faith. He helped me see the need to believe in something greater than myself, yet God allowed Liam to die. Faith didn't protect him.”

Liz reached across the table to cover his clenched fist. He concentrated on the feel of her warm and soft skin against his hand to keep from giving in to the sorrow that lurked at the edges of his mind. “We all die at some point. Some too soon in life.” She frowned. “I pray it's not Jillian's time.”

Liz had felt the bite of death in her life with the loss of both of her parents. And now her sister's life hung in the balance. Blake couldn't imagine the grief Liz must carry. He relaxed his fingers and turned his hand over so their palms met. “I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

A sad smile tipped up the edges of her mouth. “Believe me, I've done my share of blaming God, asking Him why my parents had to die. Even wondering why Jillian has been put in danger. But the unfortunate fact is that humanity comes with sickness and evil and accidents and death. Turning my back on God would mean my connection with Him was conditional. And that would be very sad, because if God's love came with conditions...” She shook her head.

“But doesn't it? The Ten Commandments and all that?”

“I'm not saying there aren't instructions and principles that we should live by.” She paused as if searching for how to explain. “Think of it this way, most parents love their children unconditionally. When their child messes up, the parent corrects, guides and chastises but they still love their child. That's how God is with us. He's about relationships, whereas most humans, outside of parental love, are relational.”

He thought about all the times he rebelled or lashed out at his parents. Especially when he was a teenager so full of anger at them both for tearing their family apart. And yet, no matter how nasty his behavior, he hadn't doubted his dad's love or his mother's. Though Dad didn't show his love with hugs and kisses, he'd made time for Blake, taking days off to spend with him fishing and catching a baseball game. Mom had loved him, too, and continually told him he could come live with her and Emily. But he'd chosen to stay with his dad.

On one of his last assignments, he and Nathanial had provided backup to DEA agent Tyler Griffin by going undercover on a Christmas-tree farm in northern Idaho. The widow who owned the farm had a young son, and though Blake hadn't had much experience with kids, he'd had a soft spot for the little guy. Tyler had ended up marrying the widow and Blake regularly checked in on them and their son. “Okay, I kind of get the parental love thing. But you lost me on the last part.”

“I guess what I'm saying is we, meaning humans, put conditions on our relationships, and when one of the two parties in the relationship does something that fractures the connection, it's too easy to give up and walk away or strike out at the other person. Then that person retaliates by striking out or giving up and walking away.”

“Like my parents,” Blake murmured. How many nights had he lain awake hearing them fighting until finally his mother had walked away, leaving both him and his father behind? And wasn't he just as guilty? After catching his college girlfriend, Sarah, in several lies, he'd washed his hands of the relationship. No second chances.

In fact, he'd not allowed a deep relationship since because he didn't want to be hurt again. He didn't want to be weak.

But what would have happened had he chosen to love unconditionally? Would he and Sarah still be together? What path would his life have taken if he'd elected to work through the pain and allowed her to regain his trust? What life would his father have had if he'd allowed himself to fully love his wife rather than shut her out?

The questions ricocheted through his mind. He wasn't one to contemplate “what if's.” He stayed in the moment, taking life as it came and letting the past go.

A mocking laugh in his head belied that thought, making him aware he hadn't truly let go of the past. If he had, then maybe he wouldn't be alone.

He frowned at the idea. He wanted to be alone. He liked not having someone tying him down to one place.

Liz squeezed his hand drawing his attention. “Now I'm the one being insensitive.”

“No. You're right. It is too easy to give up on God—or others—when things get tough and painful.” But it was hard for him to think that God could love him as flawed as he was. Could he have a closer relationship, a real relationship with God?

Staring into Liz's pretty eyes, he found himself yearning for a relationship with her. A real give and take. The kind that lasted a lifetime. His heart pounded in his chest and a suffocating swell of emotion threatened to drown him. Did he really want a relationship with this woman?

Right now, this minute, the possibility held him enthralled. He had to admit he found Liz Cantrell challenging and exciting. He respected her drive and her loyalty to her sister. She had a fierce, determined nature that was tempered by a gentle side he found alluring. She held him captive in ways he'd never experienced. What did that mean? What did he want it to mean?

“You sound as if you speak from experience.”

Her soft voice broke through his thoughts like a hammer against concrete, shattering the moment. “Yes. Though in retrospect I was the one who failed. Failed to love unconditionally. I'm not sure I'm capable of doing so.”

“If it were easy...” She shrugged. “Whatever happened, it's in the past, right?” She chewed on her bottom lip. He had the feeling her words were having as much of an impact on her as they were on him.

He'd let the past cloud his choices. The knowledge disturbed him in ways he'd rather not feel.

He slipped his hand from hers and picked up his empty bowl and plate and carried them to the sink. She followed with her dishes. He turned on the faucet, thankful that water hadn't gone off like the electricity. As he handwashed their dishes, Liz grabbed a towel and dried.

“I'm sorry if I upset you,” she said.

“Not at all.” He scrubbed a bowl with more vigor than needed.

“It's okay if you don't want to talk about it,” she said. “We all have painful times in our pasts.”

That made him curious. He turned to face her and leaned his hip against the counter. “What painful secrets are you hiding?”

She tucked in her chin. “Nothing you'd be interested in.”

“I am, though.” He lifted her chin with the crook of his finger. He wanted to know more about this woman, despite knowing nothing good would come from getting emotionally involved with her. Yet he couldn't make himself shut down his curiosity or his attraction to her.

He flashed back to Tyler and to the words Blake had said to him when it had become clear Tyler was getting in too deep with the widow who had owned the Christmas-tree farm.

Someone's gonna get hurt. They always do.

Good advice he should heed. He went back to scrubbing dishes.

Before he could retract his words, she spoke. “My second year of college I fell head over heels for a guy in my econ class. Joe. He was very charismatic, and I was over the moon that he was paying attention to me to the point he was all I could think about. I couldn't stand to be apart from him and my grades slipped.”

She let out a dry laugh. “Then Jillian pointed out I was just like Dad. Putting everything into this one person.” She put the clean dishes back in the cupboard. “That's what our father did. He had no real identity apart from Mom, and didn't want any. So when she died he was beyond devastated. He didn't know who he was or how to live without her.”

“But isn't that how love is supposed to go?”

“No, love wants the best for the other person. Losing my identity to Joe wasn't love. It was more of an obsession. Then when I broke up with him, he became obsessed with me and finally backed off when my godfather, Sheriff Ward, had a talk with him.” She shrugged. “Since then I haven't wanted to get close to anyone for fear of losing myself.”

“It's a blessing you had the sheriff in your corner.”

“Yes, Sheriff Ward has been a blessing to our family.”

It was good to know she was as leery as he was of anything deeper than what they already had, though he wasn't sure what to call what they had. He wasn't really her bodyguard, nor her jailer.

Yet, he'd take a bullet meant for her without thought. He liked to think he would for anyone—his job was to protect, after all—but somehow the thought of Liz in peril tore him up inside.

He reached for her before he thought better of it. She came willingly into his arms. She was so slight and delicate, he was almost afraid of holding her too tightly.

She reached up to trace the line of his jaw with her soft, gentle fingers. “Who hurt you?”

His first inclination was to deny answering, but for some reason he wanted to open up to this woman. “I was engaged once years ago.”

Liz held still in his arms, her gaze never wavering.

“We were a few months away from the big day when I discovered she'd been lying to me about so many things.” He shook his head. “Stupid things, too. Like spending more money on clothes than she'd admitted. We weren't married so what did it matter how much she spent? Yet she'd make a big show of saying she spent only so much money, then asking to borrow money from me because she couldn't pay her Visa bill. Of course I helped her out but when I saw the bill I realized she'd fabricated how much she'd actually spent. And then she'd lie about where she was or where she was going. She'd lie about who she was with. That hurt the worst. I finally had to realize and come to terms with the fact she was a habitual liar. But she didn't see it as an issue. I did.”

“She didn't want to get help?”

“No, she said it was my problem, that I couldn't accept her as she was,” he shrugged. “She was right. I couldn't. Not like that. So I broke it off.”

“That's understandable.” Liz laid her hand over his heart. “It would be hard to marry someone who you could never fully trust.”

He liked that she understood. “Yes, that's exactly it.”

She peered up at him, her eyes guileless and searching. “Trust is important to you.”

Wariness invaded him. “It is. Very much so.”

A tiny smile lifted the corners of her lips. “You're a very good man, Agent Blake Fallon.”

The wariness seeped away to be replaced with yearning. He wasn't sure that her statement was true about him, but he was definitely sure he wanted to kiss her right now.

His thought must have shown on his face because her lips parted in invitation. He nearly groaned. Did she even understand what she did to him? How irresistible he found her?

Slowly, he lowered his head just as the sound of the front door opening froze him in place a mere fraction from her delectable mouth.

Drew and Sami entered the condo. Face heating, he stepped back, his relief at not having given in to the uninvited yearning matched by the relief on Liz's face. They'd almost let the situation take a turn neither of them wanted to take. Clearly they were in agreement.

That should be a good thing, right? So why did he feel as if he'd missed an opportunity that might never come again? Why did he still want to know so much more about her? Why did his mouth still crave the chance to touch hers?

SEVEN

L
iz moved away from Blake, grateful to see Sami and Drew entering the condo. With each step putting distance between her and him, she breathed easier. She'd nearly let Blake kiss her. And she'd wanted him to. With everything in her she'd longed for his kiss. Wow, where was her head? She forced her attraction to Blake to the farthest reaches of her heart.

It was bad enough she'd told him about Joe. For years she'd refused to entertain thoughts of that part of her past because she was embarrassed by the way she'd acted, by the fact that she'd lost herself even if it had been for a short period of time.

She didn't want to be that person ever again. If she ever decided to give her heart for a second time, she would go slow and be methodical about her choice. Which meant she had to resist the temptation to fall for Agent Fallon. Their lives had intersected for this short period of time, but their paths would diverge as soon as Jillian was free and Santini in jail. There was no future for them.

But what if there could be? A little voice inside her head asked. Her pulse skipped a beat at the question.

She didn't have an answer, wasn't even sure she wanted to let her mind go there. Blake had a power and charisma about him that scared her and yet at the same time drew her to him. Best not to contemplate something as dangerous as a life that included Blake, despite how much she was coming to respect and admire him.

Liz helped Sami off with her coat. “You two must be famished. There are several cans of soup in the pantry and all the fixings for a salad that need to be eaten before they go bad.”

Sami grinned. “Wonderful. I'm starved. We haven't eaten since breakfast.” She shivered. “But first I need to change into dry clothes. It's freezing out there.”

Drew set a large bag on the floor. “We found a sporting goods store, but they didn't have everything we needed.”

Blake stepped up behind Liz. Awareness shimmied up her spine. He was so close she could smell his aftershave. The woodsy scent had teased her all day. She glanced at him, noting the darkening of stubble marking his jawline. Some men needed the scruffy look to strengthen their jaw, but not Blake. With or without the shadow of a beard, strength was inherent in his face, his demeanor. He was a man other men envied and women fawned over, like the cashier at the convenience store had.

Though Liz knew better, she longed to reach up and run her hand over the angles and contours of his handsome face. Instead, she shoved her fists into the pocket of her zipped-up sweat jacket, the soft material doing nothing to alleviate her yearning to feel the roughness of his beard against her palms.

She needed something to do before she broke down and gave in to her attraction to Blake. “I'll put on the soup.”

She retreated into the kitchen while Blake and Drew moved into the living room. The tension in her chest eased. She really needed to get a grip and keep control of her emotions. Especially when it came to Blake. She'd never had this problem before. None of the men she'd dated after Joe had made her heart race and her common sense desert her, the way Blake did. And that scared her.

“We'll need to hold off on raiding Santini's lair until the storm subsides,” Drew stated. “There's no going anywhere in this blizzard. It's a mess out there. We barely made it here. We had to trudge the last few blocks on foot.”

“Same here. And if that's true for us then it has to be true for Santini,” Blake said. “I'd still like to get eyes on the house. I'll contact Nathanial and see what he can do.”

Blake disappeared down the hall. Drew warmed his hands at the gas fireplace. Liz turned the burner on simmer and walked into the living room. “Do you believe my sister is safe?”

Drew lifted his gaze to her. “I do. Santini's no fool. He's greedy. If anything happens to her, he'll never get his diamonds, and that's what matters to him. Money is his motivator.”

She was glad to hear him say essentially the same thing Blake had told her back in the airport interrogation room. Though only forty-eight hours had passed since the day she'd walked off the plane and had been stopped by Blake and Nathanial, it seemed as if all of that had occurred a lifetime ago. She had a hard time visualizing what it would be like to return home and to never see Blake again. A strange hollowness invaded her, making her ache deep inside.

But once Jillian was safe, Liz would return home and go back to the life she'd made for herself in South Carolina. Why she was having to remind herself of that she couldn't fathom. It wasn't as if Blake had declared his undying love for her. Yeah, so he'd almost kissed her, but that didn't mean anything more than he felt the same pull of attraction.

The fact they'd exchanged their past hurts only meant that...well, she really didn't know what it meant. She wouldn't let it mean anything.

When Blake returned to the living room she had a hard time not moving to his side.

“Nathanial's going to do recon on Santini's house,” Blake informed them.

“Won't it be dangerous for him to be out in this storm?” Liz asked. Why would anyone want to brave a whiteout like the one raging outside the window?

“He was born and raised in this type of weather,” Blake replied, his gaze bouncing to her and then away.

Still, she worried about the Canadian officer. “Should he go alone?”

“Nathanial is a bit of a lone wolf,” Drew commented. “I'm sure he'd rather not have company. He can move faster on his own.”

That made sense in some ways, but if anything went wrong, he'd have no safety net. She sent up a silent prayer for his safety. “How long have you worked with Blake and Nathanial?”

Drew shot Blake a grin. “Blake, a year or so. However, Nathanial and I have been acquaintances for several years. He's as solid as they come. But he certainly has a way with the ladies.”

Blake made a noise in his throat. “You got that right.”

Drew nodded with a lopsided smile. “I'm just glad Sami met me first.”

Liz couldn't imagine Sami falling for anyone but Drew. The two seemed so well matched. “Does Nathanial have a family? A wife?”

“No, he's the quintessential bachelor,” Drew informed her. “The woman who tames him will have to be someone extremely special with a strong personality to see past his charm to the real man who would lay down his life for any one of us in a heartbeat.”

She wanted to ask if Blake was the same way. She slanted him a glance. Would it take someone special to tame him? Was she special enough? The wayward thought locked her tongue to the roof of her mouth.

Liz was grateful when Sami joined them dressed in comfortable yoga pants and a tunic sweatshirt. Liz took the opportunity to return to the kitchen on the pretext of removing the soup from the burner.

“Thank you,” Sami said as she followed her into the kitchen. “You don't have to wait on us.”

“I know,” Liz said. “But it helps me to have something to do while we wait.” She began chopping more veggies for their salad. Keeping her hands busy kept her from thinking too much about Blake. “I can't help but worry about Jillian. If something happens to her...” She couldn't stop the burn of tears at the back of her throat.

Sami rubbed a hand on Liz's shoulder. “You have to stay positive. Have some faith in us. We know what we're doing.”

“I keep praying for her. For all of us.” Though Blake was high on her list.

“Prayer is good. God will see us through this. He'll see you and Jillian through this.”

Knowing Sami believed in God warmed Liz's heart. “Thank you for saying that. You're right, I have to stop imagining the worst.” But how did she control her imaginings?

The sound of a phone ringing echoed off the condo's high ceilings.

Blake walked into the kitchen with Liz's ringing cell phone in his hand. He held the call display up for her to see. “It's Jillian calling.”

An anxious flurry spread through her, cooling her blood and making her palms sweat. “Maybe she escaped?”

The doubt on Blake's face didn't require him to answer.

“It's most likely Santini. I'll put it on speaker,” Blake said, then depressed the answer button and then the speaker button. He nodded to Liz.

Her mouth went dry and her voice deserted her for a moment. Finally, she managed to squawk out a “Hello.”

“Lizzie,” Jillian's shaky voice filled the kitchen.

Liz grabbed the phone from Blake but left it on speaker. “Jillian, are you okay?”

“Yes. But he wants the necklace or he'll—” She let out a sob. “Lizzie, he'll kill me.”

The weight of responsibility pressed down on Liz's chest, making her heart heavy with panic. “I'll give it to him. But the storm—”

“Will be gone by tomorrow.” Santini's voice came over the line. Apparently he'd taken the phone away from Jillian. “We'll try this again. And this is your last chance. Bring the necklace to Queen Victoria Park at ten p.m. tomorrow night. I know you've brought the cops in. But they better not show up tomorrow or your sister will take a nosedive off the top of the falls.” He hung up.

An uncontrollable tremor made Liz drop the phone. It clattered on the hardwood floor. The mental image of her sister falling into the freezing waters of the Niagara River made Liz dizzy with fear. Her lungs refused to draw in air.

Blake gripped her by the shoulders, his big hands warm and comforting. “Hold it together, Liz. Nothing is going to happen to Jillian.”

“He knows about you,” she said, her voice not much more than a whisper. She gasped for breath. Would her worst nightmare come true?

“He does, and he hasn't hurt your sister,” Blake pointed out. He slowly rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “That's good news. He wants the necklace more than he wants to shed blood.”

She needed to believe his words, but the worst-case scenario thinking that seemed so ingrained into her psyche wouldn't relent. She pictured her sister's body plunging into the frozen river, breaking through the ice and plummeting to the bottom.

Blake gave her a gentle shake. “Stay with me, Liz. You can't let the fear win. I need you to be strong and ready to be reunited with your sister.”

Staring into his obsidian eyes, she saw her pale reflection, but she also saw concern and care. She planted her palms on his chest and felt the steady rhythm of his heartbeat. He made her want to be strong, made her want to rise above the terror threatening to drag her down into despair. For Jillian, Liz would do anything—even face this ordeal with bravery.

With effort she filled her lungs with oxygen, clearing her head and infusing courage into every fiber of her being. She inclined her head. “I can do this.”

Blake tipped his head down slightly to capture her gaze. “You're not doing anything other than staying out of the way.”

She arched her eyebrows. “Excuse me? Didn't you just tell me I had to be strong?”

“And you do. The last thing we need is you falling apart now.”

She stepped back, out of his reach. “I'm not going to fall apart. I'm taking the necklace to the park tomorrow night.”

The thunderclouds in Blake's dark eyes rivaled the raging storm outside. “No way.”

“Yes, way.” She looked to Sami and Drew for help. They regarded her with a mix of respect and concern. “What do you two think?”

Drew shrugged and looked at Blake. “I'm inclined to let her make the exchange.”

“Me, too,” Sami piped in. “She's proven she can handle herself. If Santini sees anyone other than her there, he may follow through with his threat and then flee. This is our best opportunity to catch him.”

“And if he sends one of his minions again?” Blake ground out. “I say we raid the house the minute the storm breaks enough for us to leave here.”

Drew nodded. “Agreed. That's our first option.”

“The only option,” Blake stated in a flat voice. “I will not put Liz in any more danger.”

Though a part of Liz appreciated his concern for her well-being, she wouldn't let him control her. No one controlled her. “That's not your choice to make.”

Blake glowered at her. “This is my operation, my call.”

Liz fisted her hands on her hips. “Not if I walk out that door.”

“Go ahead,” he called her bluff. “But the necklace remains with us. It's evidence. Then what, Liz? What will you have to bargain with?”

Annoyance crowded her chest. But she had to grab her temper by the edges and keep it from flying loose. Fighting with him wouldn't get her very far. “Do your raid. If that fails, then you let me do what I have to in order to save my sister.”

That he wanted to argue with her was clear in the way his upper lip drew back. But she wasn't afraid of him or his anger. One thing she knew as truth was Agent Blake Fallon was a man of honor and integrity. Any doubts she'd had to the contrary were long gone. She held her ground and his gaze. He clamped his teeth together so tight a muscle jumped in his jaw. She doubted he'd appreciate it if she suggested he get a bite guard for times like this.

“We raid,” he finally said in a tight voice. “If Santini gets past our net, then we'll discuss the drop at Queen Victoria Park.”

Knowing that was the best she'd get from him, she nodded with a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

“Don't thank me until we have your sister in our custody,” he said before turning on his heels and leaving the kitchen.

An awkward silence remained in his wake.

Liz squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. She forced a smile for Sami and Drew. “I'll say good-night, then.”

She headed to her room but couldn't shake the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She didn't like having Blake angry with her. But more than that she didn't like that she cared.

* * *

The next morning, Liz awoke from a fitful sleep just as night faded and the first rays of sunrise glistened off the crystalized flakes of snow piled high all over the city. From her bedroom window Liz could see the frozen falls, and despite the mild warmth of the sun streaming through the window, she shivered as Santini's threat echoed through her mind.