Ravenhill Plays: 1: Shopping and F***ing; Faust is Dead; Handbag; Some Explicit Polaroids (Contemporary Dramatists) (15 page)

Pete
     Oh Jesus.

Alain
     Goes for my eyes.

Until they are full with blood. My blood.

And I don’t know what . . .

Pete
     You got to be careful, you know that?

Alain
     ‘This one is for Bill.’

Pete
     I’m sorry?

Alain
     He says to me.

I’m down and I’m bleeding and he says to me:

‘This one is for Bill.’

Pete
     Shit.

Alain
     Please, what does this . . . ?

Pete
     Fucking Jesus fucking . . .

No.

You . . . asshole fuck.

Alain
     Yes. What does that . . . ?

This one is for Bill.

Does that mean something?

Pete
     Well, yes, yes of course.

Of course that means something.

Alain
     You know what this means?

Pete
     Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. I know what that means.

Alain
     So. Please . . .

Pete
     Jesus, how could you . . .

How could you do this to me?

Have you no control?

What is it with you faggots that you can’t fucking . . . I mean, can’t you wait or something? Ask questions maybe?

Well, fuck you.

He exits and then re-enters with a floppy disc
.

Well, that’s okay then. Oh thank God. Praise be.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

You better come with me.

Come on. Get your shit together.

Alain
     You want to go . . . ?

Pete
     I’m getting out of here.

We’re getting out of here.

Come on. Come on.

He starts to gather together his stuff
.

Look. He’s gonna come back, okay? They’re not gonna let this lie, you know?

See this? [
the disc
]. Guy who attacked you was looking for this.

This is chaos.

Only copy in the world.

See, my dad’s seen the future and he knows how to give his product the lead for like centuries into the new millennium. Chaos is the answer.

My dad sets up his team. Hundreds of guys looking for that nudge into chaos.

And one day, they are there. It’s ready to be released on to the market.

Except I hate my dad so bad and I download a virus in the chaos programme.

Total meltdown.

So all he has now is shit.

And it’s just me with the real thing.

Which means he hates me but also he wants to find me real bad, you know?

So. Please.

Alain
     I like this place.

Pete
     Because my dad wants to be everywhere. His software in every home, on every desk. Bill, Bill, Bill. Like God, God, God.

Alain
     Bill is your father?

Pete
     Yeah. Bill’s my dad.

I hate my dad.

You coming with me?

Car driving through the city
.

Alain
     Where are we going?

Pete
     Dunno.

Alain
     We’re just going to . . .

Pete
     Yeah, just gonna drive.

That bother you?

Alain
     No. That’s okay.

Pete
     Just gonna drive and drive.

If we anticipate even a little then my dad could figure out where to find us.

My dad sees the future like a journey down a long road.

I’m like: ‘Dad, you sure there’s gonna be a future?’

You wanna tell me a little about yourself?

Alain
     No.

Pete
     When you talk, you talk very well.

Long pause
.

Alain
     I want to fuck you.

Pete
     Yeah?

Alain
     I need to fuck you. Or you fuck me.

Pete
     Maybe. Okay.

I don’t have a problem with that.

Alain
     You want me to get out of the car?

Pete
     No. I want you here with me.

Alain
     You can stop the car and let me out.

Pete
     No. I don’t want to do that.

Alain
     If I stay with you, I fuck you.

We drive somewhere. We drive to the desert and I fuck you.

Pete
     Sure, sure, I understand.

If that’s the deal . . .

Alain
     That’s the deal.

Pete
     Then I guess I’ll learn to handle that.

Alain
     Good.

Pete
     So. You’re attracted to me, right?

I’m gonna be rich. Is that what you’re thinking?

See, time will pass and my dad will need this [
disc
] so bad and then I’m gonna offer it back for a sum so vast.

And I’m gonna buy so many totally real experiences.

I’m gonna keep the peace in Bosnia. I’m gonna take Saddam Hussein out for a pizza. I’m gonna shoot pool with the Pope and have Boris Yeltsin show me his collection of baseball stickers.

So who are you?

Alain
     I am the man who is going to fuck you.

Pete
     Yes. I see that.

Desert. Night
.

Alain
     This is beautiful.

Pete
     You like it?

Alain
     Oh yes.

This is a very beautiful place.

Pete
     I guess it’s okay.

I kind of prefer it on the TV.

I prefer it with a frame around it, you know?

Alain
     Okay.

Pete
     Like you know, it stretches out, there it goes, on and on – you get the point from the TV – but when you actually see it, you know . . . it’s a little scary.

Excuse me, I’m gonna have to . . .

He takes out the camcorder, looks through it
.

That’s better.

I kind of feel okay now.

This always works for me. Some guys it’s Prozac but with me . . .

Alain
     I understand.

Alain
starts to feel
Pete
’s genitals
.

Pete
     Oh God.

You faggot scum.

Alain
     Yes.

That’s it.

That’s okay.

Pete
     I don’t have a prejudice here.

You filthy little weenie-feeling heap of shit.

I believe in Affirmative Action.

I believe in the multiplicity of sexualities within our society.

Alain
     If you look through . . .

Pete
     Sure, sure.

Alain
     If you continue to look through . . .

Pete
     Yes. Yes.

Alain
     Keep it all within the frame.

Pete
     You’re right.

You’re right.

I can do that.

Alain
     It’s on TV, okay?

It’s something on TV.

Pete
     Yes.

Pete
records
Alain
playing with his genitals
.

Alain
     Is that okay?

Pete
     Yeah. That’s okay.

Alain
starts to suck
Pete
off
.

Pete
(
TV commentary voice
)     Lost under the stars, surrounded by the splendour of nature and the mysterious awesomeness of Death Valley, the kid is initiated into the strange world of the homosexual.

Alain
     You don’t have to speak.

Pete
     I do.

Alain
     Please. No.

You don’t have to say anything.

Pete
     I do. Okay. I do.

Make it like on TV, okay?

And I can do that, I really can do that.

But only if I have the commentary.

I need the voice.

Alain
     No.

Pete
     No?

Alain
     I don’t want you to do that voice.

Pete
     Okay.

Alain
continues to suck
Pete
off for some time in silence
.

Pete
     There goes a racoon . . . hoppity hopping through that piece of tumbleweed.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

Hoppity hop.

Quiet.

Stop it.

That commentator. He just keeps on going.

Hoppity hop. Hey, little fella, how you doing?

And if that little fella could speak, he would tell us:

‘I’m doing just fine. I’m living life out here at one with Mother Nature.’

Don’t you just wish you could do the same?

Alain
turns away and spits
Pete
’s cum from his mouth
.

Pete
     Did I come?

Alain
     Yes.

Pete
     Really?

Alain
     Plenty.

Pete
     Really, that is amazing. That is so cool.

Because you know something?

I didn’t feel a thing.

You wanna go back to the car?

Alain
     That’s not the deal. I want to stay here.

Pete
     You wanna stay here for the night?

Alain
     We’re gonna stay here for the night.

Pete
     Alright. I’ll try.

He sits.

Looks through camcorder.

Doesn’t look through camcorder
.

Here. Here. I have a supply.

He brings out a stash of different pills
.

Here, you see. This is what we do. We go through this.

You wanna go through the Nature thing?

Alain
     Yes.

Pete
     You wanna go through the Nature thing and you wanna go through the Sex thing?

Alain
     Yes. Both.

Pete
     Okay.

So now we are going to have an experience. Which is fine.

But just by themselves, on their own, okay, experiences don’t have a shape.

They don’t have a shape and they don’t have a rhythm.

And without shape, without rhythm, the experience can be too much. It can be too painful.

So we shape the experience.

Like this.

Pete
arranges the pills in a circle around them
.

Alain
     We don’t have to decide the shape. We don’t have to know in advance: this one will take me up, this one will take me down, this one will be spacey, this one will bring it all into focus.

Let’s not do that.

We’ll just do them at random and allow the shape to emerge.

You understand?

He closes his eyes, spins around, chooses a pill and takes it
.

And now you.

They repeat the same process and
Pete
takes a pill
.

Do you know what you want?

Pete
     No.

Alain
     But you want to find out?

Pete
     Yeah. I wanna find out.

Alain
     I don’t want any limits, you understand?

Pete
     I understand.

Alain
     And how does this make you feel?

Pete
     I don’t know.

Alain
     Scared?

Pete
     Yes, scared. And, and . . .

Alain
     Excited?

Pete
     Excited also. Yes.

They kiss
.

Alain
     Man is dead, you know.

And Progress. Progress also. Progress is dead.

And Humanity. Yes. Humanity is dead.

Pete
     So we’re free, right?

Alain
     I’m going to fuck you.

Pete
     I know.

You feel anything yet?

Alain
     Yes. I think it’s starting.

Alain
fucks
Pete
.

Motel chalet
.
Alain
sits watching TV
.

Pete
     I asked the guy.

I asked the guy and he said that he had plenty of other chalets.

Alain
     Is that so?

Pete
     Yeah. They have plenty of chalets.

You see that.

It’s quiet around here, you know?

Alain
     Better than the desert.

Pete
     Better than the desert for that whole no people thing.

So if you wanted another chalet . . .

Alain
     You think I should have another chalet?

Pete
     Yeah. That’s what I’m saying. If you wanted maybe like your own chalet.

Alain
     I don’t want my own chalet.

I’m fine. This is fine.