Raze & Reap (26 page)

My cock hardened even more, but it wasn't enough.

“Say it again,” I demanded roughly, and Kisa swallowed hard, her legs widening, her thighs tightening around my waist, and she drew my cock in toward her pussy.

As my tip pushed through the entrance, Kisa's hands wrapped around my neck and she lowered my ear to her mouth. Both of us groaning, I sank in my dick inch by inch.

Kisa stilled me with a squeeze of her thighs. Her warm breath blew past my ear. “Luka,” she moaned, “make love to me … my Luka.”

Like a door had been opened, I roared out loud and used all my strength to push forward, slamming into Kisa until I filled her completely, until she screamed my name.
Luka
. Until she screamed it over and over again.

Luka, Luka, Luka …

This time as I made her mine, there was no thinking, just feeling. For the first time ever I was actually
feeling
things. My throat choking with the
amount
of things I was feeling. I'd blocked out everything for so long, been numb for so long, that I didn't know how to deal with it, so I focused on being inside my woman, on the moans and whimpers pouring from her mouth as I pressed against her swollen clit, as my cock brushed against that spot inside her that made her go crazy.

Her hard nipples brushed against my damp chest, and every time I pushed forward, Kisa gasped at the friction, at the feeling of my dick filling her, telling her who she belonged to.

“Luka, my Luka,” she moaned into my ear, and every syllable from her mouth drove me further and further, made my hips thrust faster and faster. “You came back to me…”

“Kisa,” I said in a tight voice, feeling my balls tighten almost to the point of pain. “I'm going to come, solnyshko…”

Her fingernails dug into my shoulders and her breathing stuttered. “Close … so close, Luka … Fuck me harder … harder, Luka, harder!”

With every bit of strength I had and with all the power I could draw into my thighs, I rammed forward, my skin slapping against Kisa's pussy, the sound of us joined together like this pushing me over the edge.

My dick swelled, my mouth gaped, and hearing Kisa shrill out her orgasm, I reached forward and sank my hands in the warm sand beneath Kisa's head and filled her with my cum as her cunt strangled my dick.

My forehead fell on Kisa's mussed up hair.

I was catching my breath, minute by minute, trying to cope with this new beat to my heart, when Kisa whispered, “I love you, Luka. In all these years without you, I never stopped.”

Every fiber of my body froze.

“Love?” I asked, frowning. “What … what is that?”

Kisa's thighs loosened around my waist and she pushed on my chest until I looked into her eyes. “Love, lyubov moya. You don't remember what that is?” Her voice sounded sad, like I'd hurt her somehow.

I didn't want to hurt her. The thought of hurting her, hurt
me
.

I dropped my head in embarrassment. “No … I don't really understand what it means. I've heard of the word, but it has no meaning to me.”

Kisa reached back and took my hand, bringing it to lie over her chest, her heart thudding against my palm. My heart started thudding too.

“Love is an emotion, Luka. It's shared between two people. Two people who can't stop thinking about each other. Two people who think of each other every single day, every second, day and night. Two people who want to spend the rest of their lives together.” She paused to press her lips to mine, then pulled back. “Two people who make love, just like we did now, and know their souls belong to each other, and
only
each other.”

A tear ran down Kisa's cheek, and leaning forward, I kissed it. Pulling back, I tilted my head to the side to stare at Kisa's beautiful face.

“Then I … then I love you?”

Kisa stayed still for a moment, then surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and burying her face in my chest. “I hope you do, Luka. I pray you still love me too.” And I felt the wetness from her eyes on my skin.

I clutched her to my chest and rolled us to the side so I could stare at her face. I didn't think I'd ever get sick of her face. Kisa sniffed but fought to pull a nervous smile on her face.

I laid my head on my bicep and pointed to my chest. “So this …
ache
I've had in my chest since I saw you is … love? When I see you in my dreams, and want you, it is because I love you?”

“Luka … Is that true?” she whispered, hope in her quiet voice.

I nodded, and she hooked her forefinger around mine. I looked at our fingers joined together and, for some reason, couldn't look away.

“I have always loved you, Luka, and always dreamed you'd come back to me. I knew it was impossible, but I always prayed you, somehow, miraculously would.”

“My…” I cleared my throat, trying to put into words what was stuck there.

Kisa held her breath and our entwined fingers tightened.

“My … Something within me, here,” I pointed to my heart. “Here.” I pointed to my stomach. “And here.” I pointed to my mind. “Tells me I should have you. That you should belong to me. That you
do
belong to me, and that I belong to you.”

“And there,” Kisa said, pointing to my eye.

“Here?” I said, pointing at my eye too.

Kisa nodded and smiled. “That smudge of blue in your eye, says you always have.”

My pulse began to race and for once, my blood felt like it was pumping through my veins, not lying stagnant, finally bringing me back to life.

“Why, Kisa?” I asked. “Why is it like this between us?”

Kisa dipped her eyes, not saying anything for a while, but then she smiled shyly and murmured, “
Whatever our souls are made of—
”

“
His and mine are the same.
” I finished off, the words coming from some locked-away memory in my mind. My eyebrows pulled down, and I watched happiness flood Kisa's face. “What … what is that? Why do I know it?”

“It's
Wuthering Heights
, a book I used to read to you before you were taken away. It's a line from that, one my mama used to say applied to us. We used to like it.”

“Where is your mama?”

Kisa sighed a shaky sigh and her eyes glistened. “She died, Luka. She died when I was fifteen.”

Death. It was everywhere.

Neither of us said anything for a while, but as the night drew on, I pulled Kisa to my chest. “Kisa?” I said.

“Mmm?” she murmured sleepily against my chest.

“I will kill Durov tomorrow night.”

Kisa stiffened, and I held my breath. She never talked about how she felt about him, just told me he couldn't live without her and he needed her. But I needed her too, and the difference between Alik and me was that she needed
me
by her side, keeping her safe.

“I know,” Kisa finally whispered back, but I could hear the pain in her voice. A flashback from when I was a kid suddenly came to me, and my body jerked upright, Kisa falling to the sand.

I gripped my temples as the memory came quick, the pain piercing my skull almost too strong to endure …

*   *   *

“You killed him, Alik!” I shouted, covered in my best friend's blood as Rodion turned cold in my arms.

Alik held out the knife he'd stabbed him with, his eyes were wild and a crazy smile spread on his lips.

“No, Luka, I didn't kill him.” I watched as Alik drove the knife into his own stomach and he dropped to the floor. “You did! You argued. You fought, and you pulled out a knife and killed him.”

“What … what the fuck are you talking about? You're insane!” I shouted, but Alik was already screaming for help.

“He's gone,” Alik said, looking to me and gripped his stomach. His blood poured out as he pointed to Rodion's body. “The Volkov heir's no more. I did just what my papa commanded. Now, one day,
I'll
be the Pakhan. Rodion was too weak to lead, too nice. Me, I was born to be ruthless, to kill anyone in my way.”

My blood turned to ice when I heard he'd killed Rodion for power. His father had ordered him dead so his son would be next in line.

Jesus Christ!

“And me?” I whispered, numbly. “Why the fuck are you setting me up?”

Footsteps approached and our fathers' voices called our names. Alik shouted back, flopping back onto the ground, but not before he smiled at me and said, “Because I needed someone to blame and I want what you have.”

I shook my head in confusion. “What—”

“She was always meant for me, not you. I need her. She's the only one who calms me down. She's the only one who stops the voices in my head that tell me to hurt people. And her being obsessed with you is getting in the way of making her mine.”

I stumbled back as what he said registered in my mind.

Kisa.

He killed Rodion for power and was framing me for … Kisa? Before I knew it, I was on top of him, ignoring the blood pouring from his stomach, punching at his face.

“You won't hurt her, you sick fuck! You'll leave her alone! You're insane! You should be locked up!”

Alik smiled at me as I beat his face, like he wasn't feeling the blows. I stilled in shock and he slipped the dagger in my hand.

A man came bursting through the trees, and seeing his son dead on the ground, he dropped to his knees. All I could do was watch as he tried to bring him back to life, then scream into the air when the CPR didn't work.

Another man came through next.

The men saw me on Alik, my fists coated with blood, my mouth tight with anger. I got to my feet and stumbled back until my ass hit the ground. My legs wouldn't move as I took in the scene. I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak to explain … my best friend was dead.

One of the men rushed forward and ran to Alik on the ground, then I noticed the men's eyes slam to me, then to my side.

Turning my head slowly, I glanced down at what they were all staring at and saw the bloodied dagger under my splayed hand.

I opened my mouth to try and explain what happened, but just as I did, Rodion's papa got to his feet, blood covering his coat, the move pulling my attention.

“Luka, what have you done?”

*   *   *

“Luka! Luka!” Kisa's panicked voice cut into the night. “Breathe, breathe … You're not breathing. Try and calm down.”

I focused on Kisa's face, on her hand stroking back my hair. Finally able to move, I lifted my hand and took hers in mine.

“What is it, lyubov moya? What did you remember?” Kisa asked, and I could hear the nerves in her voice. “You're scaring me.”

“D-Durov,” I stuttered out. “Durov killed Rodion, stabbed himself, then pinned all the blame on me.”

 

18

RAZE

Kisa's hand began shaking as she held mine, and I saw her face pale, the reality of that fact hitting home just as the dam of my blocked-out past broke and memories came flooding out, blindsiding me.

“Rodion,” I whispered, feeling like I'd just taken a punch to the kidney. “Rodion was my best friend, wasn't he? We were like brothers. Yes? Is that—”

I watched tears fall from Kisa's eyes. My eyes grew wider as I pictured Rodion's features: light-brown hair, blue eyes. I dreamed of him sometimes. He was the boy in my dreams. His features had always been blurred, and I was unable to ever make out his identity. But now I could picture him with crystal clarity. I knew him. I—

Shit …

I looked at Kisa again. She was slumped over, her back shaking with the force of her tears. And then in my mind, I saw her and Rodion together: at church, at the beach, round a table, by their father's side …

Lifting my hand and pressing it on her back, I swallowed hard. “He … Rodion was your brother, wasn't he? Fuck, Kisa, Rodion was your blood.”

A sob slipped from Kisa's mouth and she slumped onto the sand. Crawling forward, I covered Kisa with my body and wrapped my arms around her waist. She leaned into my arms and cried harder, her hands reaching out to grip onto my thighs while I tried to breathe through the memories of my past hitting me with the force of a truck.

“Kisa,” I murmured. “Durov killed him … He killed him…”

Another loud sob ripped from her throat and she began shaking. Pushing herself upright with her hands on my thighs, Kisa lifted her head. Her beautiful face was red and wet with her tears.

“No! I always thought his death must have been an accident. A misunderstanding. Some other explanation. I-I—” Reaching out, she gripped my biceps, desperation in her expression. “Why? Why did Alik kill him? What had Rodion ever done to him? I don't understand! They were friends!”

I squeezed my eyes shut, holding my breath like I could force the memory.

“Please remember. Please remember,” Kisa begged.

The Volkov heir's no more. I did what my papa commanded.

Dragging in a gasp, I looked at Kisa and suddenly saw a man's face in my head. He was tall, dark, older, a fucking evil glint in his eyes.
Just like the guards
, I thought. He had that sadistic, controlling look in his eyes that the guards always wore.

“His papa,” I said, and Kisa could only blink. “His papa told him to take out the heir … so he would be next in line. So he could lead when he was old enough.”

“No,” Kisa said, shaking her head. “No! Abram wouldn't do that. He loved Rodion!”