Read My Lips (18 page)

Going Bare

Do you ever wonder what your head would look like if you shaved off all your hair? Some women do, especially when they are facing treatments (such as chemotherapy) that result in hair loss. But most of the time, women probably don’t spend too much time thinking about what their scalp would look like without hair. After all, unless you’ve experienced hair loss for medical reasons or are among the minority of women who choose to shave it all off, the scalp is rarely seen, except perhaps by one’s hair stylist or an attentive lover who brushes one’s hair or massages one’s head.

However, what if Sinead O’Connor had another hit and head-shaving became all the rage? Would you then wonder whether you had an “attractive” head? Would you wonder what characteristics distinguish between an attractive and unattractive head? We wonder if these kinds of discussions came up regarding vulvas when pubic hair started disappearing and vulvas became more visible than ever before. And if these discussions did come up, did someone decide that they weren’t going to show long inner labia anymore, now that there was no pubic hair to hide the vulva parts? Or is there another reason why inner labia are largely absent, or minimized, in some mainstream men’s magazines such as
Playboy
?

Unfortunately, we don’t know the answers to these questions. What we do know is that inner labia were only visible in a small handful of the images that Vanessa’s research team examined. Also, not a single image showed inner labia that protruded beyond the outer labia or that were a color other than pink.

These results were surprising to Vanessa and her team. They went in expecting that there wouldn’t be a lot of inner labia shown protruding—but none? How could that be? After all, the world is full of women with long, beautiful labia (and the men and women in another one of our research studies sometimes cited a preference for long labia).

I’m tired of the societal/media/porn industry pressure on women to have “perfect” genitals. It needs to stop! I think that it’s sick that women are going under the knife to alter themselves. We need to stop the hate!

—
M
ARY,
35, Washington, DC

Not wanting to jump to any conclusions, the research team wondered whether this was perhaps just a reflection of the centerfold models. Would the other models in the magazine look any different? In a follow-up study, they examined each picture from the most recent year of
Playboy
. They categorized every picture of a woman who wasn’t wearing underwear. Again, they found that over 90 percent of the pictures did not show any inner labia. Also, there were only two images of protruding labia and one lone image of inner labia that was a color other than pink (and even that picture was possibly just showing a shadow). Sure, some women don’t have very visible inner labia, many women’s labia do not protrude, and lots of women have pink inner labia, but the likelihood that every single one of these women happened to have identical vulvas is very slim. There was certainly something wrong with these pictures!

Vulva Education

Whenever Vanessa discusses these results at a scientific conference, she makes the point that one reason this is important is because many young women and men see their very first vulvas when they look at magazines like
Playboy
. While a quick glimpse at the world around them will let them know that women aren’t normally as skinny as
Playboy
models and don’t often have the same figures, one can’t just glimpse around to see that even the vulvas don’t add up. As such,
Playboy
and other mainstream men’s magazines may misinform women and men about what’s “normal” for women in terms of their genitals. Because people want to feel normal, this is important.

When she makes this point, Vanessa often gets the same question: What about other sources for genital images? After all, women may seek out genital images from a variety of different sources. Some may look in magazines, and others may seek out anatomy textbooks in their local libraries. Given how private people feel about genitals (some even call them their “privates”), it is less likely that people are openly seeking out these images when they have access to a plethora of vulva images on their home computer.

Time and again people have tried to tell us that women should not be concerned about their vulva appearance because they have a variety of vulva images available to them at the click of a button. The only problem is the type of images that pop up for the uninformed vulva investigator. Let us demonstrate. Put on your savvy vulva sleuth hat for a second and pull up your preferred Internet search engine. After you have checked to make sure that your computer is up-to-date on pop-up blockers and firewalls, type the word “vagina” or “vulva” into your search engine. What pops up? A beautiful, diverse range of vulva pictures? Unlikely. Chances are that you—like us— came across a lot of internal diagrams, several web sites about cancer, a few pornographic web sites, and an advertisement for elective genital surgery. Now try it again, this time searching only for images. Again, you are unlikely to have any luck. When we tried this, the images and messages were the same, with the exception of a few pictures of animal vulvas, which—not surprisingly—can be quite misleading!

Vulva Close-ups

Even if you decide to weed through Internet pornography for a diverse range of vulva images, you may not find what you’re looking for. A recent study
¹⁰
sought to investigate whether the range of vulva appearances presented in textbooks, books designed to represent vulva diversity (which they termed “feminist publications”), and pornographic web sites were significantly different from one another. They took measurements of the vulvas of the women represented in these three sources by literally measuring the clitoral hood length, inner and outer labia length, and distance from the clitoral hood to the urethra. In order to get the measurement for the protrusion of the inner labia from the outer labia, the researchers guesstimated using a five-point scale with every point indicating a ten-millimeter protuberance.

BETTY DODSON’S GENITAL IMAGE GALLERY

Betty Dodson has worked tirelessly for more than thirty-five years to bring vulva pride to women everywhere. She has done many wonderful things that will forever change the way many women think about their bodies. Our personal favorite is her online genital art gallery. If you go to her web site (now shared with the delightful Carlin Ross) at
www.dodsonandross.com
, you can easily find her genital art galleries. Betty started this online gallery a while back to provide men and women with a platform to submit their own genital pictures and write about the reasons why they love them. These images likely served many purposes for many people; however, the primary intention was to provide real images of the vast range of normal/natural genital appearances. Due to some legal changes, people can still submit photographs to the site, but they can no longer be anonymous. The web site is now required to ask for identification confirming a user’s age before he or she can post genital pictures. If you are less interested in submitting a picture and more interested in browsing the pictures, this is a top pick. For other wonderful web sites with diverse vulva images, check out the Resources section.

When first reading this study, we were wary about the results because we were not entirely clear how they controlled for the fact that the pictures may have been taken at different distances or from different angles. After further reflection, we realized that the measurements are not meant to reflect
actual
vulva measurements of the women; they are meant to represent depictions of the vulva to readers who may be viewing the images.

Keeping that disclaimer in mind, the researchers found that the pictures showed the least diversity in the textbook images (and this is where we are supposed to learn!), followed by online pornography, with the most variation evident in “feminist resources.” Pictures of labia that protruded to their highest measurement of protrusion were only available in the feminist resources. What does that mean? On the bright side, it means that there are several resources for women who are interested in viewing a range of genital images. In the study, they analyzed two of our personal favorite collections of vulva images:
Petals
by Nick Karras
¹¹
and
Femalia
by Joani Blank.
¹²
On the other hand, it also means that women who are seeking out information regarding the normal range of vulva appearances may have a skewed representation of “normal” if they are getting their information from another source.

SEXUAL ASSAULT: STORIES OF RESILIENCE

This book was intended to be a celebration of all of the wonders of the vulva. The vulva has many amazing characteristics including its ability to clean itself, open and lubricate for pleasurable experiences, and perhaps most importantly, bring human life into this world. As undeniably phenomenal as each one of these features is, it is the experiences and the resilience of the women who own these vulvas and vaginas that we found truly awe-inspiring.

Every woman’s relationship and experience with her genitals is different. Some women have always loved their bodies, while others are still searching for self-love. There are also those women who are hoping to reclaim, or who have reclaimed, the genital love that they may have felt was lost following sexual trauma. The experience of each and every woman is unique, but we hope that the following stories will inspire you to continue your search or support someone else along her journey toward genital love and acceptance.

“I was raped by my father when I was four years old. That changed my attitude about my yoni from natural acceptance to hatred. I came to like myself again when I discovered female ejaculation, sex-positive people, and BDSM. I learned to explore without judgment and won my curiosity back.”—Patricia, Washington

“I felt ashamed of my genitals as a child. I came to feel positively about my genitals by visiting feminist/sex-positive/body-positive health web sites as an adolescent when I was looking for information. Reading through the web sites reassured me that my vulva and vagina were ‘normal.’ Learning about my anatomy and getting my questions answered made me feel less shame. These web sites also helped after being assaulted, because I realized that the physical consequences I experienced were normal and not my fault. That was a huge relief. After my assault, I’ve also come to feel more ‘ownership’ over my genitals—that is, as the feelings of shame went away, I felt more and more ‘in charge’ of my own body, and I think I value or cherish it more now. I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid criticizing my vagina or vulva’s appearance or function.”—Sarah, 22, Wisconsin

“I’m a strong feminist. Before realizing this, I just pretended my vagina/vulva didn’t exist. And then felt immensely guilty for wanting to use it sexually. Because women aren’t supposed to be the gender with strong sexual desire. Purportedly. However, I just finished my third year of the vagina monologues, and have recovered from rape. Part of that self-discovery and healing process come with loving yourself. And a major symbolic and very real part of myself is my vagina. I’m still working on it, and I backslide, but the consciousness is there.”—Melissa, 21, Washington

“Although I was raped in high school it never affected my feelings about my vagina, only my self-esteem. I know this is different for many women and I feel extremely lucky. I am now, however, very sensitive to when and when not I am ok with being touched, and more able to express that.”—Karen, 20, Washington

THE (W)HOLE TRUTH

Some resources show vulvas with small labia, some show large labia, and some don’t show any at all (there is a Goldilocks reference in there somewhere). Why does it matter? The same can be said for most body portrayals in mainstream magazines that tend to feature size 0 models in their teens or early twenties. The difference with vulvas is that we all know that pictures of the models in magazines do not look like the women that we see on the streets every day. There are a select few women who fit that profile, and even those women have been airbrushed to be suitable for presentation in the magazines. We know this because (a) we can see it, and (b) we can talk about it. In contrast, unless you are living in a nudist colony or visiting a clothing-optional beach, you are probably not surrounded by images of women’s genitals. Those women with questions or concerns about the appearance of their vulvas may consider the matter too private or embarrassing to discuss with others. As such, when women see these vulva images in magazines or textbooks, they may automatically use them as a reference point for what vulvas should look like. If the appearance of their own vulvas deviates from those images, these women may become concerned that the appearance of their vulvas is not normal or that it is unattractive.