Ready for Love (10 page)

He put down the glass and walked down the hallway to the bedroom, turning the hall light on so he could check on her. She was curled up on her side in the middle of the bed, still asleep. The poor thing had worn herself out.

A flurry of doors closing in the driveway drew Luke back to the living room fifteen minutes later. He wasn’t surprised to see Mac and Maddie returning in two vehicles. When Luke opened the door, Buddy seemed to know where he was needed and disappeared into the bedroom.

Mac handed Luke a bag of dog food and a leash.

“Thanks,” Luke said.

“Is she okay?” Maddie asked. “What happened?”

“She’s asleep,” Luke said. Once again, he related the story of the near miss on the road. His hands grew damp as he remembered the heart-stopping moment when he’d been certain they were going to crash or roll over or worse.

“Oh God,” Maddie said. “Poor Syd—and you. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just a little rattled by the whole thing. She was doing so well.”

“Until something brought it all back again,” Maddie said. “Do you want me to stay? In case she wakes up?”

Luke shook his head. “You need to get home to Thomas.”

“Janey and Joe are with him. They were at our house when Mac got your text.” Maddie rested her hand on Luke’s arm. “I can stay if you think you might need some help tonight.”

As much as Luke feared Sydney waking up and remembering what’d nearly happened, he had a feeling she might not want extra people around for that, even her close friend. He wondered if she’d want
him
around for that. Well, she was stuck with him, and somehow he’d get her through it. “I’ll have her call you in the morning, okay?”

Maddie nodded. “If you’re sure.”

He was sure of nothing. “Thanks for the offer.”

“Call me in the middle of the night if need be. I’ll come.” She gave Luke a quick hug that caught him off guard for a moment before he returned the embrace.

Mac reached out to squeeze his shoulder. “We’re a phone call away if you need us.”

Overcome by their support and friendship, Luke nodded. “I might not be in tomorrow. If that’s okay.”

“You certainly don’t have to ask. Remember that whole ‘make you a partner in the business’ thing last year?”

“I still forget sometimes,” Luke said with a small smile. “Old habits die hard.”

“Business owners come and go as they please. Don’t worry about tomorrow. I’ll be there all day.”

“Thanks again for coming earlier and for getting Buddy for me.”

“Anytime.”

While he and Mac had known each other all their lives and had always been friendly, they’d never been
friends
until they started working together every day.

With a new wife and young family, Mac had been hesitant to take on the responsibility of running the marina on his own. So Big Mac offered to make Luke a partner. After Luke had been assured that none of the other four McCarthy siblings had any interest in the business, he’d accepted Big Mac’s offer of forty percent. Luke and Mac each had forty, and Big Mac retained twenty in case one of his other kids changed their minds and wanted in.

Luke still had to remind himself every now and then that he actually
owned
a big chunk of the profitable marina where he’d worked since he was fourteen. Flipping off the porch light, he closed and locked the door, leaning against it for a moment to collect himself.

Sydney Donovan was in his bed. Too bad it had to happen this way.

Sydney woke with a start, unsure of where she was. As usual, Buddy was snuggled up to her but so was someone else. The pillow smelled like Luke, clean and fresh and citrusy. She was in Luke’s bed. With Luke and Buddy. The whole thing rushed back to her like a horror movie—the bright lights, the truck swerving, Luke’s cry of distress. After that, it all went murky.

“You’re okay,” Luke said softly. “I’m right here.”

Comforted by the sound of his voice as much as his words, she turned to him, groaning when the hips and pelvis she’d injured in the accident fifteen months ago protested. “What time is it?”

He checked the illuminated face of his watch. “Two thirty.”

“How’d we get here?”

“You don’t remember?”

“Not much after. . .”

He smoothed a hand over her hair and kissed her forehead. “You were upset, so Mac came and drove us here.”

She winced at the thought of her friend’s husband seeing her unglued. “Where did Buddy come from?”

“I sent Mac to get him. I knew you wouldn’t want him home alone all night, and I figured he might bring you comfort when you woke up.”

“Thank you for thinking of that.” She brushed a hand over his face. “You had a special night planned. I’m sorry—”

Leaning a finger on her lips, he stopped her. “Please don’t apologize.” He hugged her tight, and she rested her face against his chest. His skin was warm, and the light dusting of chest hair was soft against her face.

Steeped in his familiar scent, Sydney closed her eyes and absorbed the comfort of his embrace as his heart beat fast under her ear.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked after a long period of silence.

She closed her eyes even tighter, as if she was trying to stem the flood of new tears.

“You don’t have to,” he said, sounding alarmed.

“I don’t remember much about it,” she said. “We’d been to Portsmouth, New Hampshire to see Seth’s parents. I’d had a bad cold for a week and was sleeping on the way home. Someone told me later I survived because of the position I was in. I only remember Seth screaming, which woke me up. He said. . .” Her voice hitched, and for a moment she couldn’t speak.

Luke held her tight against him. “You don’t have to tell me, Syd. Not now. Not ever if you don’t want to.”

“He said the same thing you did tonight. The exact same thing. That’s the last thing I ever heard him say.”

All the air left Luke’s body in one big exhale. “Oh God. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know—”

She tipped her face up to kiss the words off his lips. “How could you? What else does one say in that situation?”

“I wish I’d said something else.”

“The car hit us from behind. We were stopped in traffic, and Seth must’ve seen him coming in the mirror. There was nothing he could do, nowhere to go. The kids were killed instantly. Seth died later, in surgery. I don’t remember anything after he screamed until I woke up in the hospital five days later.”

“I’d give everything I have to keep you from having to relive it, to go back to when we were at the point watching the sunset.”

“Please don’t beat yourself up, Luke. It’s not your fault. I live with it every day of my life.”

“Tell me about them,” he said. “About Seth and the kids. If you feel up to talking about them.”

Sydney took a deep breath and gave herself permission to remember. Thinking of them brought a small smile to her face. “Seth was the eternal optimist. Nothing ever got him down. He was full of plans and ideas and grand schemes that usually involved making money. That was his gift—investing and growing money. Everyone we knew sought his advice. I used to say the stock market was his mistress.” She laughed at the memory.

“He loved to cook—and not just regular food, but gourmet dishes that would make your mouth water just thinking about them. He played the piano and loved rugby, although he didn’t play anymore after the kids were born because he was afraid of getting hurt and not being able to care for them.”

“How’d you meet him?”

“Through my college roommate. They were cousins. Since they were both in school in Boston, he came to visit her a lot. At first I didn’t like him all that much. His eternally upbeat and happy disposition grated on my nerves. I figured he had to be fake or medicated or something, because no one is ever that happy all the time.”

“But he was?”

She nodded, smiling as she thought of her late husband. “Over time, I came to realize that was how he was wired. Nothing bothered him, and
everyone
liked him. He asked me out a hundred times before I finally said yes.”

Sydney looked up in time to see a flash of naked pain cross Luke’s face. “What’re you thinking?”

“That when you said yes to him you were saying good-bye to me, and I didn’t even know it.”

The pain she heard in his voice made her sad. “Maybe,” she said, dropping soft kisses on his chest, “I was saying ‘good-bye for now’ to you.”

“You really believe that?”

“I’m beginning to.”

“Tell me about the kids.”

She knew they needed to have this conversation if they had any chance of moving forward together, but that didn’t make it any easier. “Max was brilliant. All mothers say that about their kids, but in his case, it was true. He taught himself to read before kindergarten, and we were talking about having him skip third grade because he was so far ahead of his age group. He loved the Red Sox and video games, even though we didn’t let him have them at home. Seth took him to Fenway Park every summer, and they watched the games every night. There was nothing he didn’t know about that team.”

Luke ran his fingers through her hair, offering comfort as he listened.

“Malena was all girl—ballet and nail polish and frills and bows. She drove her brother insane wanting him to play with her dolls and trying to dress him up for tea parties. She was in kindergarten, often in trouble for talking in class. We suspected she’d be a handful as a teenager. But she was sweet and kind and generous. Always fighting for the underdog and befriending the kids no one else liked.”

“I’d love to see pictures of them sometime.”

Sydney tilted her head back so she could see him. “I’d love to show you.”

“Thank you for telling me about them. I know it’s not easy for you, but now I feel like I know them a little bit.”

Another thought occurred to her, making her hurt the way she did every time she thought of it.

“What, Syd? What is it?”

“I never saw them after. By the time I came to, they’d all been buried. My parents and Seth’s took care of everything.”

“That might’ve been for the best, don’t you think?”

“The shrink assured me I didn’t want those images in my head. He said I was better off remembering them the way they’d been in life.”

“But?”

She appreciated he understood there was more to it. “I feel guilty I wasn’t there for them. That’s weird, right?”

“You were badly injured yourself. There was nothing you could do for them but get better so you could keep their memory alive.”

His softly spoken words went straight to her heart. “That’s such a sweet thing to say. Thank you for that.”

“I’m feeling a little out of my league here, but then again, I always did with you.”

Surprised to hear that, she said, “Why?”

“Come on,” he said, laughing. “You were far too good for me. Still are.”

“That’s not true. I was never, ever good
enough
for you.”

“We can agree to disagree.”

“I don’t know how you can say I was too good for you when I walked away from what we had without a word.”

“All right, if you insist. I’ll agree you’re not good enough for me, but I’m willing to overlook your deficiencies.”

Astounded, Sydney let her mouth fall open, which made him laugh. And then he leaned in to take advantage of her open mouth, chasing the thoughts from her busy mind.
 

His lips moved gently over hers, as if he was afraid to scare her away by taking too much.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, and let her tongue wander into his mouth, seeking him.

That seemed to spark something in him, and his kiss went from gentle to fierce. All of a sudden, he pulled back. “I’m sorry,” he said, breathing hard. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I wanted you to.”

“Syd, I want you so much. Not just tonight, but every night. The last thing I want is to rush you or push you into something you’re not ready for.”

“I set us back a bit tonight, huh?”

He pushed himself up on an elbow. “No, baby,” he said, brushing the hair back from her face. “It’s not your fault. It’ll take the time it takes. Look how far you’ve already come.”

“Sometimes it seems like I haven’t come very far at all. Other times, I feel closer to my old self again, which of course makes me guilty. How can a mother ever feel like her old self again when her children are gone forever?”

“Trust me—I saw you last summer. You’re a thousand times better than you were.”

“That’s right,” she said, smiling. “You were ‘visiting’ me back then.”

“I couldn’t stay away.”

She reached for him, and he snuggled into her embrace, his lips brushing against her forehead. Sydney smoothed her hand over his hair, comforted by his warmth, his scent and his calm, quiet demeanor.

“Luke?”

“Hmm?”

“Will you make love to me?”