Ready for Love (8 page)

“Do
not
tell me you’re still asleep when I’ve already been up for three hours,” Maddie said.

“Okay, I won’t. I can’t remember the last time I slept past eight.”

“Were you out late last night?”

Sydney smiled, remembering the evening she’d spent with Luke. “Maybe.”

“Get your butt out of bed and get over here for some coffee and muffins right out of the oven.”

“Can’t say no to that.”

Maddie rattled off directions to her new home. “Hurry! I want every detail.”

Sydney got up to let Buddy out. She debated a quick shower but decided to wait until later. Before her date. With Luke. A flutter of anticipation had her placing a hand over her belly. Last night had been amazing, and she couldn’t wait to see him again later.

Buddy rode with his head out the window on the way to Maddie’s house and once again bounded out of the car ahead of her when they arrived. Sydney wondered if he, too, was starting to recover a bit from his terrible grief.

Maddie waited for them on a deck she’d decorated with comfortable outdoor furniture and pots full of bright, fragrant blooms.

“This is some spot you’ve got here,” Sydney said, admiring the rolling meadow that led to the water in the distance.

“We got married right there,” Maddie said, pointing to the yard.

“I bet it was beautiful.”

“It was. I’ll show you the pictures.” She gestured for Sydney to follow her into the spacious contemporary that was scattered with the toys of a busy little boy.

The two women stopped short when they found Maddie’s son, Thomas, hugging Buddy, who was making noises Sydney had never heard before. She rushed over to him. “Buddy? What is it, sweet boy?”

Maddie scooped up Thomas.

“He sad,” the boy said, a solemn expression on his cherubic face.

“Are you sad?” Sydney asked as tears filled her eyes. “Does Thomas remind you of Max?” She wouldn’t have expected the blond, blue-eyed toddler to remind the dog of Max, who’d been much older than Thomas when Buddy arrived in their lives. Not to mention her son had had his father’s dark hair and eyes. Maybe it was just because Thomas was a smaller person, like the boy Buddy had loved and lost.

Sydney hugged the wailing dog until he eventually settled. Looking up at Maddie, she said, “I’m sorry. He’s never done anything like this before.”

“Please don’t apologize,” Maddie said, subtly brushing at a tear.

Thomas wiggled free of his mother’s embrace and toddled over to pet Buddy.

The dog licked and sniffed the boy who stayed patient and still while Buddy investigated him.

“Thank you for making friends with Buddy, Thomas,” Sydney said when she could speak over the giant lump that had formed in her throat.

Maddie knelt next to Thomas. “This is Mommy’s friend Syd. Can you say hi?”

“Hi, Syd,” Thomas said.

“I hope you don’t mind first names,” Maddie said. “I don’t stand on formality with him.”

“I didn’t with my kids, either.”

“They should be okay,” Maddie said of Thomas and Buddy, who were bonding over Thomas’s squeaky toys. “Let’s have some coffee.”

Still rattled by Buddy’s reaction to Thomas, Sydney patted his head and kissed his nose. “Be a good boy.”

“Good boy,” Thomas said in the serious tone that made Sydney smile.

“He’s adorable,” she said to Maddie as she stirred cream into her coffee. The house boasted a wide-open floor plan that allowed them to sit in the kitchen but still keep an eye on Thomas and his new friend.

“Thank you. Sometime you have to see the way he flips out when Mac gets home. It’s hysterical. The two of them are joined at the hip.”

“Is there anything sexier than a man who loves another man’s child the way he would his own?”

“Not that I can think of. He’s been amazing with Thomas since day one. Until he met us, he’d never changed a diaper in his life. Now he can do it in his sleep—literally.”

Sydney smiled at the picture she painted. “Your home is beautiful. I’m so happy for you, Maddie.”

“Sometimes I want to pinch myself to believe it all really happened.”

“Are you still working?”

“Four days a week. I’d do more, especially this time of year, but Mac wants me to take it easy. He’s telling everyone this is a high-risk pregnancy.”

Alarmed, Sydney said, “Is it?”

“No! He’s being ridiculous.”

Sydney cracked up. “Sorry, but that’s funny.”

“Do me a favor and don’t tell him that. He’s already out of control.” Maddie placed a plate of warm muffins on the counter. “So, how was last night?”

“It was great. Being with Luke is. . .”

“What?”

“Comfortable and yet I’m very
un
comfortable, too.”

Maddie raised an eyebrow. “Is that so?”

“Mmm. It’s still very hot between us. Like it always was.”

“And that’s bad how?”

Sydney cut a blueberry muffin in half. “It’s not
bad
. It’s just, you know, I feel kind of guilty.”

“Because of Seth.”

Sydney nodded and took a moment to get herself together when her throat closed. “I loved him,” she said in a near whisper. “I hope you believe me when I say that.”

“Of course you did. You married him, had children and a life with him.”

“It was a good life. I was happy with him. But it was different between us than with Luke.”

“What was different? You’ve lost me.”

Sydney felt her face heat with embarrassment. “Sex.”

“How so?”

“It was sweet and nice with Seth, but with Luke. . . It was wild and kind of earth-shattering. I don’t know if it would still be that way, but it was back then.” Sydney released a long deep breath. “I sound like a horrible person even saying that.”

“No, you don’t. You would’ve been a horrible person if you’d continued to sleep with Luke after you were married. That’s what horrible people do.”

Sydney smiled. Leave it to Maddie to cut to the chase. “I used to think my feelings for Luke took on such mythic proportions because everything about our relationship was new and exciting and a bit forbidden.”

“And now?”

“I’m not so sure it was any of those things. Seeing him again, I’ve begun to realize it was
us
. That what we had was that special thing they write about, but I was too young and stupid to know it at the time.”

Maddie reached across the counter to squeeze Sydney’s hand. “Oh, Syd.”

“I walked away from him like he meant nothing to me. How could I have done that to him, Maddie? It ruined him.
I
ruined him.”

“If he wasn’t capable of getting past that, I doubt he would’ve been looking at you the other night like he wants to take you home and keep you in bed for the next year.”

Sydney’s face heated. “He was not.”

“Was too.” Maddie refilled their coffee and glanced at Thomas, who was reclined against Buddy, sucking his thumb. “Did he kiss you last night?”

Sydney popped a bite of muffin into her mouth. “Maybe.”

“That’s
not
an answer.”

“Well, somehow we ended up rolling around on his lawn.”

“Shut up!”

“You asked.”

“Sydney, listen to me. Are you listening?”

She nodded.

“He’s moved past what happened before. If he hadn’t, if he
really
hadn’t, he wouldn’t have invited you into his home and he certainly wouldn’t have been rolling around on his lawn with you.”

“You’re sure about that?”

“Positive. You’re the one who needs to get past what happened before. And don’t waste your time comparing him to Seth. That’s not fair to either of them, and it won’t change anything. You did what was best for you at the time. There’s no sense rehashing history.”

“I know you’re right.”

“I remember when you left that last summer you were here. You were concerned about whether you and Luke wanted the same things out of life. He’d given up his scholarship and was content to stay here. He was never going to set the world on fire with ambition or make a lot of money. Those things were very much on your mind then.”

“I was focused on all the wrong things. Maybe he never set the world on fire, but he sure did set
me
on fire. Still does.”

“That’s so exciting.”

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s the comfort. Am I attracted to him—again—because it’s comfortable? Because I know he won’t crush me? Or is it more than that?”

“You thought about him for seventeen years. That has to count for something.”

“True.”

“Don’t overanalyze it. Just enjoy it. After all you’ve been through, you deserve some joy. If being with Luke brings you joy, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Being with Luke had always brought her joy.

“You’ve got plenty of time to figure it out.”

“I have to be back by September fifth,” Sydney said, her blood going cold at the thought. “Sentencing for the guy who hit us.”

“Oh God, Syd. Do you have to be there?”

“Someone has to represent Seth and the kids. I try not to think about it, but it’s like my life is on hold in many ways until that’s over.”

“You’ve got a few weeks until you have to face that. In the meantime, you’ve got a sexy guy who sets you on fire.”

Sydney nodded in agreement and took the conversation in a lighter direction, but she still worried over whether she was entering into a relationship with Luke for the right reasons or because being with him was so damned easy.

When things had calmed down at the marina later that afternoon, Luke backed his truck up to the marina’s main building and pulled out the hose. He washed the grime and salt off the outside and was vacuuming the inside when Big Mac ambled up to him.

“Are you sick or something?”

“Very funny.”

“The only other possible explanation for this unprecedented event is a hot date.”

“Maybe. Maybe not.”

Big Mac stood up to his full six-foot-four-inch height and dropped the sunglasses down his nose so he could take a good long look at Luke over the top of them. “Try pulling that evasive act on someone who hasn’t known you since you were knee-high to a grasshopper.”

Luke wilted a bit under the older man’s scrutiny, the same way he had at eight when he’d hung around the marina hungry for even a second of Big Mac’s time and attention. And Big Mac, being Big Mac, had taken the fatherless boy under his wing and kept him there ever since. “And your point is?”

“Rumor has it you’re seeing that Donovan girl again.”

“So what about it?”

“I just hope you’re being careful. That’s all.”

Luke ran a damp cloth over the dusty dashboard. “I am.”

“You sure about that?”

“Why don’t you say what’s on your mind,” Luke said, fighting off exasperation.

“Don’t mind if I do.” Big Mac leaned against the truck. “I remember how it was last time. That summer she didn’t come back.”

Luke could still recall the agony. No other word could do it justice—pure, unadulterated agony.

“I don’t want to see that happen again.”

“It won’t,” Luke said with more confidence than he felt. He’d do whatever he could to make sure it didn’t.

“She’s been through an awful thing. People come out the other side of something like that changed.”

“I can’t see how it wouldn’t change a person.”

“See to it she doesn’t use you to put the pieces back together and then move on like she did last time.”

“Now wait just a second—”

Big Mac held up a huge hand. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t. You can’t overstep with me. You know that.” Luke dropped the rag and rested his hands on his hips, fighting a range of emotion that included anger, fear and a bit of despair. “I hear what you’re saying, and I appreciate why you’re saying it.” Luke paused, took a moment to get himself together and then looked up at the man who meant the world to him. “Am I a chump for giving her another chance?”

“Nah,” Big Mac scoffed. “You’re only a chump if you ignore the handwriting on the wall telling you history is about to repeat itself.”

Luke responded with a brisk nod.

Big Mac squeezed Luke’s shoulder. “Have a good time tonight.” He walked away but left the weight of his concerns behind.

Turning back to the truck, Luke stared into the cab for a long time before he finished the job.

Big Mac’s concerns stayed with Luke the rest of the day and into the evening as he showered and shaved. Wiping the steam from the mirror, he took a good long look at his reflection. He’d never had any trouble attracting female attention, but no matter how many women he met, there’d never been another Sydney Donovan. For years he’d actually made a concerted effort to connect with other women, but it just hadn’t happened. After a while, he’d stopped bothering and accepted he was fated to love just one woman in his lifetime.