Ready for Marriage? (8 page)

‘‘I think that would please Deb,’’ Kristin said steadily. ‘‘She always wanted a small tribe, remember?’’

Relief rushed through him. Kristin understood him, understood what he was thinking. She always did and he shouldn’t forget that. ‘‘So,’’ he said, tightening his arm a little. ‘‘We’ve agreed that we both want more children. And I’ve told you how I feel. I don’t only want you because of Mollie, although knowing
how much you care for her is a great part of the package. So what do you think?’’ He turned his body slightly to face her a little more fully. ‘‘Will you marry me?’’

A small smile curved the corners of her mouth as he looked down at her. ‘‘Yes.’’

Relief poured through him. He put his free hand up to her cheek and cradled her face. ‘‘You won’t regret it,’’ he told her, skimming his thumb along the line of her jaw. ‘‘We’re going to make a good team.’’

Her smile widened. ‘‘We already do.’’

He kept looking down at her, wondering why in the world it had taken him so long to see how lovely she was. ‘‘How soon do you want to get married?’’

She shrugged. ‘‘I don’t know. Soon?’’

‘‘How about next Sunday?’’

Her emerald eyes widened. ‘‘As in one week and one day away?’’

He nodded.

‘‘Derek, we can’t possibly plan a wedding in such a short time!’’

‘‘I don’t know that we have all that much to plan,’’ he said carefully. He should have realized that Kristin would be thinking in terms of a
real
wedding, with guests and flowers and cake and all the attendant hoopla. ‘‘I’d like to have a simple ceremony,’’ he said, ‘‘and unless it’s really important to you, I’d rather forget a reception and all that jazz. I can’t take a honeymoon right away but if I start arranging it now, I should be able to get away in a couple of months.’’ He and Deb had had a huge wedding with
scads of family and friends, a ridiculous number of attendants, and a dance band at the lavish reception. There was no way he could go through anything like that. It would remind him too much of…of the way his life was supposed to have been.

Suddenly, he realized Kristin hadn’t said a word in response yet. Hell. Had he completely screwed this up?

But then, as he was frantically trying to figure out how to explain his feelings to her, she nodded once, briskly, and said, ‘‘That’s fine.’’

‘‘It is?’’ He couldn’t keep the surprise from his tone, but he covered it quickly. ‘‘Okay. That’s settled, then. All we have to do is get blood work done and apply for the license.’’ He shifted, pulling her across his lap as he tried to cover the awkward moment just past. ‘‘I don’t want to wait, Kris. I want you in my home.’’

‘‘I don’t want to wait, either,’’ she told him. She put her arms around his neck as her words echoed between them. He knew she’d been talking about marriage, but he could see from the sudden awareness in her eyes that she had caught her unintentional double entendre just as he had.

Slowly, holding her gaze with his, he pulled one of her hands from his neck and laid his lips against the fragile skin of her inner wrist. Using his tongue, he tested and tasted his way up her arm, lingering at the tender fold of her elbow, then sliding his lips farther up to her shoulder before skimming across the
thin strap of the aqua sweater and laying his mouth on her collarbone.

Kristin’s head fell back and her eyes closed as her body slackened in his arms. Her hands moved to clasp his shoulders as he nibbled her neck and pressed light kisses up the line of her jaw until his mouth hovered over hers. ‘‘Kiss me, Kris,’’ he breathed.

He shifted his supporting arm higher to bring her head up, delighting in the willing way she lifted her mouth to his. Her lips were soft and sweet and he leisurely explored their shape for long moments before flicking his tongue across the seam of her lips. When she opened her mouth, he moved inside immediately, his tongue tangling with hers in hot, slick pleasure. As they kissed, her lithe body twisted in his arms, pressing against the growing arousal that pushed at his pants, making him all too aware that it would only take a few smooth moves to have his pants unzipped and her astride his lap.

He shuddered. ‘‘I probably shouldn’t be doing this,’’ he said. But he couldn’t resist sliding one hand over the enticing swell of her hip. He smoothed a path down her upper leg to where the short skirt stopped and uttered a silent alleluia at the feel of her soft bare thigh beneath his palm.

She placed her hands flat against his chest, palms side by side. ‘‘You can,’’ she whispered, ‘‘if you want to.’’

‘‘Oh, I want to,’’ he said, hearing his own voice come out a deep, rough growl, ‘‘but I don’t want to
rush you. We can wait until we’re married.’’ A small, ignoble part of him sat up and shouted
No, no, no!
but he disregarded it. He was telling the truth; he
didn’t
want her to regret anything about their first time together. Still, it was all he could do to prevent himself from twisting his torso back and forth beneath the warm pressure of her small hands.

‘‘You’re not rushing me,’’ she said obliquely. She wouldn’t meet his eyes but kept them fixed on her hands. A surprising tenderness surged through him as he realized she was feeling shy. She was shy!

Of all the things he associated with self-possessed, confident Kristin Gordon, shy probably wasn’t anywhere near the top of the list. And yet…she was looking to him to take the lead.

Another realization swept over him. Kristin might be self-assured and smart as a whip about most things, but in this arena, he was definitely the more experienced of the two of them. Experienced…experience. Carefully, not wanting to spoil the moment, he said, ‘‘Kris? I, ah, don’t quite know how to ask you this, but—’’

‘‘I’m not a virgin.’’ Her voice was still soft, her eyes still averted.

He couldn’t define the emotions that rushed through him at that one small sentence. Relief, maybe a little. He and Deb had both been virgins their first time together and it hadn’t been a stellar experience for either of them. He’d been fast; she’d been slow. He knew he’d hurt her, but had been so overwhelmed
by basic adolescent lust that he’d had no hope of making it good for her, and he’d felt terribly guilty.

Another emotion overshadowed his momentary recall. It seemed almost like…like jealousy. He tried to tell himself it was fatherly outrage, but that didn’t wash.

‘‘Who?’’ he managed. ‘‘When…?’’ The thought of some other man touching her intimately made him see red.

‘‘It was a long time ago,’’ she said softly. ‘‘My second year in college. And not something I was inspired to repeat.’’

Tenderness swept through him, washing all other feelings away. ‘‘Let me inspire you then,’’ he said. He lifted her from his lap and stood, then bent and swung her into his arms. She was easy to carry, although she struggled wildly for a moment before clutching him around the neck. ‘‘Derek! What are you doing?’’

‘‘Taking you to bed,’’ he told her, striding from the room. ‘‘We’re going to do this right.’’

H
ad she known all along that this was how the evening would end? Had her subconscious picked up on something she hadn’t noticed? Was that the reason for the extraordinary case of nerves she’d been feeling?

As Derek carried her up the stairs and shouldered open the door to his bedroom at the far end of the hall from Mollie’s, Kristin decided to stop thinking, stop analyzing and simply enjoy. She’d imagined making love with Derek so many times but her dearth of experience had limited the scope of her dreams to the basics. Tonight, she wouldn’t have to dream anymore.

It was fast. Probably too fast, in the context of a normal dating relationship. She would no more think
about sleeping with a guy on the first date than she would about flying to the moon. And under no circumstances would she sleep with a man while his child was in a room just down the hall.

But this wasn’t a normal dating relationship. In actual fact, they’d never even had a real date. Instead, they’d lived in each other’s pockets for years, sharing the joys and worries of raising a baby girl. They’d spent hours discussing his business and the sanctuary, had made snowmen together and sung ‘‘Eensy, Weensy Spider’’ until they were both ready to scream. They’d shored up each other through times of grief, celebrated birthdays and shared silly jokes over a sinkful of dirty dishes.

No, it couldn’t be further from a normal dating relationship. But it wasn’t fast in any but the most literal sense of the word, either. She knew him better than she’d ever known any man besides her father. She trusted him with her body in a way she could never trust anyone she’d only known weeks or months.

They belonged together. And in just a short time, they would be married. Married! She still couldn’t quite believe it. But as Derek carried her into his bedroom and gently laid her on his bed, it became real in the most basic sense of the word. He switched on a small lamp that cast a dim glow over the room before he came down beside her and she had no more time for thought as he covered her mouth with his, kissing her with urgent demand. One of his legs slid over hers, pinning her in place, and she could feel
his body surging against her hip as his breathing grew short and choppy. She put her hands to his neck and then slipped them up into his hair, kneading his scalp and holding him fast to her while his lips left hers and moved down her neck. He had one arm beneath her. The other lay heavily on her stomach, and she felt the muscles of her abdomen contract sharply when he spread his big hand wide, his little finger stretching down almost to the top of her feminine mound. A sudden surge of excitement danced through her and she rolled her hips up involuntarily, moving his finger over her. Her body was throbbing deep between her legs, aching for his touch and her breast heaved with frustration.

Derek chuckled deep in his throat. ‘‘Not so fast. I’ve been having fantasies about this for days. I don’t want to rush.’’

Slowly, he slipped his hand up her torso until he had covered her breast. He didn’t move, just held his hand there, cradling her gently. ‘‘You had me fooled,’’ he told her, lifting her head to look into her eyes. ‘‘I didn’t have any idea how beautiful your body was. I feel like a man coming out of a coma and just noticing the world around him for the first time.’’

She smiled, raising her torso just the smallest bit, pressing herself more firmly into his palm. ‘‘I had most people fooled, I guess.’’

‘‘Why?’’ he asked. ‘‘You never answered me earlier.’’

She shrugged, and the motion moved her breast
beneath his hand, sending ribbons of pleasure snaking through her. ‘‘I never cared much what I looked like before. But when you said no to my proposition—’’

‘‘Your proposal,’’ he corrected her.

‘‘I realized that if I wanted to find a man I was going to have to learn how to attract one.’’

He frowned and his eyes darkened. ‘‘So you started wearing revealing clothes, thinking that was the way to get noticed?’’

‘‘It worked on you,’’ she said, refusing to let him draw her into an argument. ‘‘So don’t be hypocritical.’’ She ran her hands down to his shoulders and over the heavy muscle of his upper arms, her fingers lingering to stroke and caress. ‘‘Can we talk later?’’

He relaxed, a fleeting smile touching his mouth. ‘‘Yeah. We can.’’ He rose to his knees beside her. ‘‘Right now, I think you need to get out of these clothes.’’

His hands were gentle as he tugged the aqua sweater over her head. She heard him suck in a harsh breath as his eyes blazed down at her breasts, and she thanked heaven that tonight she’d had the sense to wear the new sheer black lace bra and panty set she’d just bought. He placed both his hands over her breasts, cupping the full mounds and she shivered at the passion blazing in his blue eyes.

‘‘You, too,’’ she said, although it came out as little more than a husky whisper.

‘‘Help me.’’ He lifted her to her knees beside him on the mattress and set her hands at the top of his
shirt placket. Her fingers were actually trembling as she unbuttoned each button. As she approached his belt buckle, he pulled the remaining fabric of his shirt out of his pants so she could continue. When all the buttons had been slipped free of their moorings, she slowly spread the shirt wide, sliding her palms up his chest and out over his shoulders until the shirt fell down past his elbows and he was able to shrug out of the rest of it.

His chest was broad and solid, dusted with a faint ‘‘T’’ of dark hair that arrowed down to his navel and disappeared beneath the waistband of his jeans. He reached up to his shoulders and captured her hands again, drawing them down between them and she realized he wanted her to unbuckle his belt as well. She swallowed.

The one time she’d had sex in college, it had been dark and furtive, and the guy had left practically as soon as he’d finished. She’d never seen a naked man’s body in her entire life.

And while she understood that he was allowing her to get comfortable with her own state of undress, she couldn’t seem to make her fingers move. She glanced up at him, and he smiled as he lowered his head and took her mouth again, pulling her to him and kissing her thoroughly until the fire inside her was raging again and she was twisting against his hot, bare chest, wanting, needing more contact.

She felt his fingers at her back for a moment, and then he was tugging her bra down her arms, tossing it aside. He made a single rough, hoarse sound and
the room spun for a moment as he laid her back on the bed again. His hands were swift and sure, taking her skirt and panties off in a single motion, and when she was naked, he hovered over her for a long moment, his eyes traveling over every inch of female flesh he’d revealed. He lifted a hand and laid it gently right over the triangle of crisp, curling hair, and one corner of his mouth kicked up. ‘‘A natural blonde,’’ he said softly. And then he was gone, moving off the bed to get rid of the rest of his own clothing.

Kristin lay watching as he stepped out of his pants. He wore stretchy, snug briefs that did nothing to hide the ridge of arousal beneath and her pulse raced. He was barely contained by the fabric, and in a moment he hooked his thumbs in the sides of the briefs and shucked them off as well. She couldn’t look away, couldn’t pretend to be matter-of-fact. He was big, heavily made and if a man could get any more aroused, she couldn’t imagine how. He slowly put one knee on the bed again, and as he leaned forward, his sex fell against her belly and she jumped. He was hot and hard, so hard, and without conscious thought she wriggled her hips beneath him, seeking a satisfaction that eluded her.

Derek lowered himself slowly onto her, pushing her thighs apart and making a space for himself. The action sandwiched him between their bodies and she could feel him, firm and gently moving against her belly. He bent his head to her breast then, and she jumped as his lips closed over one nipple. He swirled his tongue around the tight peak time after time, and
just when she thought she couldn’t stand the rising tension any longer, he drew her deeper into his mouth and began to suck strongly at her. She almost shrieked aloud, her body surging up against him as electric shocks of sensation ran straight from her breast to her womb. She was trembling, panting, her legs moving restlessly around his hips.

Derek made a low sound of approval. He shifted to one side and she opened her mouth to protest his leaving, but the words turned into a breathless moan of pleasure as his fingers slid up the inside of her thigh. He brushed lightly over the curls he found there and she was startled to realize how wet she felt. Then one finger probed deeper, sliding between her soft folds and her back arched as he suddenly pushed the digit deep, deep inside her sensitive channel. There was no pain, only an exciting sense of pressure and an irresistible urge to move against his hand. He laid the fleshy pad just below his thumb flat against her and pressed strongly, and she clutched at his shoulders. ‘‘Derek, I want…Derek!’’ His name became a cry of release as the tight coil of desire that had drawn together inside her suddenly flew apart. Her body was out of her control, bucking and surging against his hand, her back arching repeatedly as her fingers gripped his shoulders. He touched her relentlessly, pushing her beyond pleasure into a final paroxysm of climax that left her limp and gasping, too drained to move, completely shocked by the force and power of her first orgasm.

Then, before she could recover, before she had
time to get embarrassed at her own abandon, he drew his hand away and levered himself over her again. She could feel the heavy length of him as he drew back on his knees and placed himself directly at the moist, pouting entrance to her body. Slowly, he flexed his hips, using his hands to open her to him, and she shivered at the first blunt, probing contact. He leaned forward, supporting himself on his arms as he pushed himself deeper.

‘‘Kris.’’

She looked up at him and was startled by the fierce, intent look on his face.

‘‘Put your legs around my waist,’’ he commanded.

She obeyed instantly, wrapping her arms around his broad shoulders and linking her ankles behind his lean waist. The position tipped her up into an even more intimate contact and she drew in a sharp breath.

He grinned, a mere baring of his teeth, and muttered, ‘‘Hang on,’’ and almost before the words registered, he was moving strongly against her, gasping as his body arched against her in the throes of his own fulfillment.

When he finally was still, he lifted himself away from her and rolled to one side. He pulled her against him, kissing her temple gently as she cuddled close. ‘‘You all right?’’

She couldn’t suppress a smile. ‘‘I’m fantastic.’’

Now it was his turn to grin. ‘‘Yeah. You are.’’

They stared at each other a moment as the smiles faded, and she wondered at the searching look in his
gaze. Finally, he said, ‘‘Thank you for being persistent. And patient.’’

‘‘You’re welcome,’’ she said, equally seriously. Her heart was beating faster at the tender expression on his face.

‘‘Spoons?’’ he asked.

She was completely bewildered. ‘‘Spoons? What does that mean?’’

‘‘Do you want to sleep spoons?’’ He turned her to her side and curved his body around hers, pressing her back against his chest and her bottom into the cradle of his hips. Sliding one arm beneath her, he said, ‘‘Isn’t this nice?’’

‘‘Yes.’’ Her voice was a whisper. ‘‘Very nice.’’ In all her imaginings, she’d never pictured herself sleeping with him in such an intimate, loverlike embrace. It was more wonderful than her best dreams. Twisting her head backward, she stretched up and kissed his jaw. ‘‘Good night.’’

He gathered her closer and she could feel him tugging gently at her unbound hair. ‘‘What are you doing?’’ she asked.

He chuckled sheepishly. ‘‘Spreading your hair over us. It’s been one of my fantasies for days now.’’

She laughed. ‘‘Good grief. Just how many fantasies have you had, buddy?’’

He kissed the back of her neck, and a sexual thrill shivered down her spine. ‘‘You have no idea, honey.’’

Kristin woke in the morning alone, and felt vaguely disappointed, even though she knew Derek
was an early riser. Slipping out of bed, she padded into the shower, noting as she went the little twinges that reminded her of the night past.

He had awakened her in the wee hours by simply stroking his big hands up and down her torso, teasing her breasts into aching awareness and eventually moving lower. He’d slid his finger into her and rubbed gently until she’d exploded in his arms, then he’d taken her yet again before they’d drifted back to sleep for a little longer.

As she dried off, she studied herself in the mirror. Anyone looking at her would know something had changed, she thought ruefully. She was…glowing. And the person responsible for it had already put on the coffee downstairs, if the smell was any indicator.

Hurriedly, she dressed and ran down the steps. Maybe there would come a day when she didn’t want to be with him every minute she could, but she doubted it.

He was in the kitchen, absorbed in the sports page and she paused in the doorway for a moment, drinking in the sight of the man she loved. His dark hair stuck out at odd angles. She’d seen him sleep before, and she knew why his hair looked like that. He buried his head in the pillow or in his arms. It struck her, for about the ten millionth time, how very unusual their relationship was. She already knew him as well as a wife of some years, she thought tenderly.

‘‘Good morning.’’ She smiled as she started across
the kitchen, intending to press her body to his and offer him a kiss.

‘‘’Morning.’’ Derek sent an abstracted smile in her direction but he didn’t meet her eyes. Before she reached him, he turned away and picked up a new section of the newspaper, opening it and refolding it noisily to the page he wanted.

Her smile faded and she automatically detoured to the coffeepot on the counter to his left. The first moment of puzzlement began to give way to hurt as she poured herself a cup of coffee and carried it to the table. He still didn’t look up, didn’t speak again, and her impatience grew in direct proportion to the hurt that made her chin quiver despite her best efforts to still it.