Real Vampires Live Large (34 page)

“That was intense. Next time you drive your back hoe into my brain, try asking permission.”

“Then I'd never learn anything interesting, Gloriana.” Sarah ignored Flo and focused on me.

“Did you see what you were looking for?” Behind me, Flo said something under her breath about nosy bitches.

“What I found, was that you don't know your own heart, my dear. I saw Jeremiah Campbell.” I gaped at her and she smiled. “Oh, yes, I know him and his parents.”

“Lucky you.” Now it was my turn to mutter nasties.

“I like to think so. But my son is not so lucky. He has a habit of becoming attached to unavailable women.” She lasered a look at Flo that could have melted steel. “I hope you'll think long and hard before you lead him to believe you could have real feelings for him.”

“They've had one date, Sarah. I hardly think you need to jump in and do the ‘mommie dearest' thing yet.” Obviously Flo had been on the receiving end of that treatment.

Sarah just smiled. “Richard never allows my interference. And in your case, Florence, dear, it was hardly necessary. He saw through your tricks soon enough.”

I stepped between Flo and Sarah and prayed for some kind of distraction. It came in the form of my dog, one of them anyway. Will, trailing his leash, staggered into the sanctuary, an absolute no-no, and fell at my feet.

“Will! What happened? Are you hurt?” I dropped to my knees and put my arm around him. Then I sniffed. “You've been drinking!”

“Fine Scotch whiskey, lassie.” Will licked my cheek, then rested his head on his paws. “My lucky day.”

“Where's Valdez?” I jumped up and looked around. No sign of him.

“Gone. Told me left a message. On cell phone. Don't know how. Dumb dog.” Will snorted, then fell into a stupor.

I dug in my purse and found my phone. I'd turned it off in church of course. Now I switched it on and saw I had a message.

“Blade's called me off, Glory. Guess he's decided Mara does it for him and you can take care of yourself. Sorry to stick you with Will, but he's paid till the end of the month. I figure I'm due some vacation time and I'm more than ready to be out of this dog body. See ya.”

This voice was smoother, more hip than the Valdez who talked in my head. It didn't fit with what I'd imagined he'd really sound like. I hit a button and listened to it again. Blade was dumping me? Like this? I didn't believe it. Something was off here. Had to be.

“Flo, listen to this.”

My roomie held the phone, then reared back like someone had spit in her ear. “I don't believe it. That doesn't sound like Valdez anyway.”

“We never heard Valdez's real voice. Blade likes to play tricks. The Valdez before this one sounded like the Taco Bell Chihuahua.”

“Still. This voice does sound familiar. Maybe . . .” Flo handed back the phone. “Call Jeremiah.”

“I was planning to.” I hit speed dial but went straight to Blade's voice mail.

“Jerry, Valdez is missing. If you called him off I need to know. Call me back immediately.” I broke the connection, then my insecurities hit me like a body blow. I'd been after Jerry for decades to let me live my own life. To take away the guards and trust me to survive on my own. Had he finally decided to take me seriously? I felt hollow and wanted to throw up.

I hit speed dial again. “Uh, Jerry, I'm okay with it, if you've moved on. Just do me the courtesy of telling me to my face, okay?” Not okay. The enormous sanctuary blurred and I sank down on one of the pews.

“This is ridiculous. Blade would never dump you like this.” Flo stomped her foot and got in Will's face. “Look at me, you worthless hound. Wake up.”

Will raised red-rimmed eyes to her face. “Hey, beautiful. Let's you and me hook up after this is over. I've been watching you. I think we could be good together.
Que bella. Sì?”

“Concentrate on the problem, signor.” Flo pulled back her foot like she was going to kick him then realized where she was. “Where is Valdez? What have you done to him?”

“Nothin' I tell ya.” His head sagged again.

“Will, where did you get the booze?” I squatted next to him and raised his muzzle to look him in the eye. “Did you shift?”

“Naw. Some guy put a big bowl of Glenlivet down in front of me.” Will belched, then reached out to lick my face.

I jumped back out of range. “Someone wanted you out of the way. What did he look like?”

“Brown shoes.” Hiccup. “I never looked higher than that beautiful bowl of fine Scot's whiskey.” Snort. Snore.

Sarah had her cell phone to her ear. “That's right. We're at the Moonlight church. Valdez has disappeared. Gloriana's . . . bodyguard.” Sarah looked at me as she snapped the phone shut. “Richard's on his way.”

“Why do we need him? We haven't even gone outside to look for Valdez yet.” I grabbed a showy flower arrangement, tossed the flowers on a nearby pew and dumped water on Will's head.

“Hey, what'd I do?” Will staggered to his feet, then shook water all over us. An usher hurried up.

“Ladies, ladies, please respect the sanctuary. And the dog, unless he's a Seeing Eye dog, should stay outside.”

“Sorry.” I grabbed Will's leash and dragged him toward the door. I'd played blind a time or two and still felt guilty about it. Will was dead weight, barely able to walk. Finally, I picked him up. And didn't that raise some eyebrows. Will's no lightweight.

Outside, I dumped him on the grass. Where was Valdez? I looked around, called him. He couldn't have come up with a bowl of fine Scotch or brown shoes. I figure if he shape-shifted he'd still be naked and there would have been at least some kind of commotion, even at this liberal church. So I asked strangers if they'd seen a black Labradoodle with a red and white bandana around his neck, his church attire. Okay, that did it. Tears filled my eyes again and I sat on a stone bench in the garden in front of the church.

“He wouldn't just leave like that, Glory. He's really attached to you.” Flo sat beside me and put her arm around me.

“I . . . I thought so. We've been together for
years
.” I took the pristine white hanky Sarah pressed into my hand and dabbed at my eyes. “And what's with Jerry? If he wanted to cut me loose, all he had to do was say so. I'm not going to force myself on him.” At least not unless I'd had a good dose of the Vamp Viagra when he was in the room.

“Here's Richard.” Sarah smiled at her tall son.

I felt warmth in my cheeks, remembering the fiasco from last night, how I'd exposed myself in more ways than one to Richard. But any embarrassment could take a backseat today. Valdez was missing. He had to be my first priority.

I looked up and met Richard's gaze. I could see his resemblance to his mother now that they were side by side. Sarah's hair wasn't nearly as white blond as Richard's but she was fair. And they both had the same aristocratic air about them. Richard had probably shifted somewhere else then just walked up. He obviously hadn't arrived that fast by car or motorcycle unless he'd been following me.

Nope. He had better things to do, like obsess over finding the EV stronghold. That obsession just might come in very handy. I had that hollow feeling again, this time because the problem with Valdez had EV trick written all over it. I had no proof of course, just my gut.

“Did you see Valdez when you came in?” I jumped up and grabbed Richard's hands. I glanced around and saw more people come out of the sanctuary.

“No sign of him.” Richard squeezed my hands. “I see you've met my mother.”

“Yes. A pleasant surprise.” I ignored Flo's snort. “We've got to find Valdez. He left a kiss-off message on my phone, but I don't believe it's him talking. Not that I have a clue what his real voice sounds like, but—”

“Let me hear it.”

I hit the button then handed Richard the phone. He listened then handed it back. “Blade dumping you? What do you think?”

He watched me carefully. I really didn't want this to turn into a drama all about my broken heart, which wasn't, by the way, broken. Okay, maybe slightly cracked. “No way. Jerry and I have a complicated relationship, but we're always honest with each other. Jerry would never let one of his minions do his talking for him.”

“It's not like Valdez either. He seems loyal. I can't see him taking off like that.” Richard squeezed my hand holding the phone. “Try Blade again. Let's spread out and see if we can find the dog.”

Richard approached a small group of people while I re-dialed Blade. More voice mail. I hung up and looked inside the sanctuary again. The place was huge. I ran down the aisles until that same long-suffering usher stepped in front of me.

“Ma'am? Can I help you with something?”

“My dog. I lost my dog.”

“The big one that came in here?” The usher looked toward the hastily rearranged flowers and the wet spot on the carpet.

“No, this was a black dog, with a bandana tied around his neck. He always waits for me right outside the sanctuary, by the door.” I felt a tear run down my cheek and the usher patted my back.

“Check over by the fellowship hall. They always have cake and coffee after the service. Maybe he smelled the food and headed that way.” The man smiled and I wanted to wail against his starched white shirt.

Instead, I sniffed. Ordinary human, who definitely needed his cholesterol checked. “Go see a doctor. Get some blood work.”

The man stared at me. “What do you mean?”

“I'm, uh . . .” What had I seen on the Health Channel? “I'm a medical empath. I sense a thickening in your blood. Take care of yourself or you're going to have a heart attack.”

“Wow. You sense that? Just by looking at me?”

I shrugged. “It's more of a sniff than a look. Take care.” I patted his hand then raced to the door.

“Wait! What's your name? I want you to look at my wife and my mother. Not my mother-in-law, the heck with her.”

“Maybe next Sunday.” I didn't look back, afraid he would follow me. I sure wasn't waiting around to find out. I scooted to a stop next to Flo who stood in the doorway.

“Fellowship Hall. They have cake and you know how Valdez is about sweets.” I headed down the sidewalk, pulling Flo along behind me.

“Cake. Yeah, he'd go for that.” Flo hurried to keep up with me.

I can run pretty damn fast in heels. We rounded the corner and saw a crowd coming out of the square building dubbed Fellowship Hall. Many of them were laughing and one woman was dabbing at her skirt. Pink and white icing.

“Who let that dog in there, anyway?”

I pushed through the crowd. What had been a nice sheet cake lay in clumps on the tile in front of the long table. A pretty tablecloth had obviously been used to pull the cake off the table. Valdez had his mouth full, oblivious to the dirty looks people were giving him.

“Valdez! Come here! Bad dog!” I dove for his leash. He danced away then shook his head. Frosting and cake flew everywhere. “Stop it! Come here.” I stomped my foot, slipped on icing and almost sat in the middle of it.

He ignored me to take another bite of cake. While he chewed, I grabbed the leash. I tugged, but he just sat down and started licking pink icing off one paw. I finally knelt down and put my hand on his head.

“Valdez, puppy. I was worried about you.”

He barked and leaped, paws landing on my shoulders, raking pink and white frosting down my corduroy dress. I pushed him back and sent him a mental message to cool it. My answer was a tail wag, another bark and a lick in the direction of my face.

“Sit. Sit. Bad dog.” I pushed him until he sat in front of me. A stranger handed me a pile of paper towels.

“I'm afraid he's not invited back to Sunday service, miss, unless you can tie him up somewhere.”

“No! The Lord loves dogs.” A woman with a broom and dustpan in her hand spoke up. Several parishioners nodded.

“We need a dog park, a fenced area where we can leave our pets while we worship.” A man knelt down and held the dustpan while the woman swept chunks of cake into it.

“You bet we do.” Another man whipped out his cell phone. “I'm calling Pastor John right now. He'll love the idea. Maybe we could have a bake sale”—laughter from the crowd—“to raise funds for it.”

I guess the church's happiness message worked because no one threatened to call the dogcatcher. And Valdez had made a huge mess.

I plucked a pink frosting rose from the top of his head and, sue me, but I tasted it. What, you think I worry about
germs
? Mmm. Sweet. I resisted downing the whole thing, especially when I felt someone watching me. I turned and saw Richard standing in the doorway, his mother right beside him. Flo stayed on the other side of the room, as far away from flying frosting as she could get.

“Uh, I'm really, really sorry. My dog is usually very well behaved.”

“That's okay, honey. If you're single, you should join the group in the Twilight Room. After you clean up the dog, that is. The singles are enjoying a late supper. Nice group of folks, some men and women about your age and some older.”

My age? If she only knew. “Thanks, maybe next week.”

Richard was beside me in a flash. “We're both really sorry about the mess.” He slung an arm around me, implying we were a couple. Hmm.

The woman wadded up the dirty tablecloth and shook her head. “A shame about the cake, though. It was going to be dessert for the singles later.”

“Wait. Let me pay—” I dug in my purse.