Reason to Believe (White Lace) (19 page)

Sirens played in the background, like a soundtrack to my entrance into the hospital.

Just like the lights of the siren sitting in front of the emergency room entrance, my head spun. I had gotten into my car and driven here in a fog. Knowing where I needed to go, but unable to remember exactly how I’d gotten here.

I didn’t usually answer my phone when random numbers showed on the display, but it felt off. In my gut, I’d known something was wrong.

And I had been right.

I raced inside, my head and heart battling with each other. I felt awful leaving Ben. But knowing Sadie was in the hospital, that she had been the victim of an attack by a client, there was nowhere else I could be.

I had shot him a quick text the first chance I got when I’d hit a red light, but it was vague. Sadie would want me to be discreet. I knew I was going to have to make up for this in a big way given everything I’d learned about Ben over the last few weeks, and I couldn’t imagine what might be going on in his head when all he had to go on was the sight of me walking away and the flimsy excuse I had sent in a text.

The nurse was on the phone when I approached the glass, but despite her not paying attention, I couldn’t help my friend’s name from spewing out my mouth. “Sadie Spencer.” I might have even barged my way to the front of a line that wasn’t really a line, but I didn’t care. My friend was hurt and I had to get to her.

With an annoyed look, the nurse directed me to the end of the hallway. Although I should have known where Sadie was being held because of the two police officers standing in the doorway.

When I walked to her room, I nodded to one of the officers then slipped inside. Six beds, three on each side, were spaced out around the large room. Blue sheets hung from the ceiling, making it so that each bed had its own private space.

I walked over to the second bed, and when I stepped around the curtain, I gasped. I couldn’t help it. Tears stung my eyes and my heart, which was already racing much too fast than was healthy.

Sadie’s face was swollen, her right eye pink and bloody. Her upper lip cut and crusted over with blood. White bandages held her face together in several spots. Her arm was in a sling and her left leg was in a cast.

“Sadie.” Her name fell from my lips in a whisper.

She was heavily medicated, hooked up to several monitors, and when I walked in, a doctor was looking over her chart.

He gave me the details. Her nose had been broken. She had several contusions on her face, arms, and legs. Her wrist was sprained and her left ankle was broken. She had weeks of recovery ahead of her.

“Miss?” One of the police officers made their way to our section of the hospital room.

Oh, shit! Suddenly my clothes were too tight and much too confining, as I started to sweat with nervousness.

“I’m Officer Higgins. The hospital called in a potential assault. Your friend is refusing a sex kit.”

“I…” Fuck. What should I say?

“Do you know who might have done this to her?” he asked.

I shook my head. Technically that was the truth. She hadn’t spoken to me yet. But it didn’t matter if I knew, because even if she identified her attacker, there was no way she could report it to the police.

“Does she have a husband? Anyone she might be dating?”

“You’ll have to wait until she’s conscious and ask her.” I didn’t know what to do. What to say. I felt like the cop could tell that Sadie was an escort, that I had been an escort, just by looking at us.

Which was completely ridiculous. If anything, I was just covering up for an abusive boyfriend or husband. Not the fact that my friend engaged in illegal activities.

“Is there any way you can come back tomorrow? She’s been through a lot and she’s still in a lot of pain and on a lot of medication.”

The police officer handed over his card. “Please have her call when she’s coherent. I’ll come by and take her statement.”

I already knew what her statement was going to be—“I don’t remember.” She’d be too afraid of what would happen to her if they found out she was an escort. Whoever did this to her was probably going to get away with it.

Fuck. This was bad.

“Please let Ms. Spencer know that we will do everything we can to bring the person to justice.”

I nodded as he walked away, stealing a glance at Sadie, who was thankfully still out cold.

I pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down, resting my hand beside her. With a heavy, unaware sigh, she snuggled deeper into the mattress.

Two beds down a daughter fought with her elderly mother about being a drama queen. Apparently it was their third trip to emergency in five weeks. In the bed across from us, a middle-aged couple sat with a doctor, who explained that the husband had had a mild heart attack. The wife sobbed into her hands uncontrollably as the husband patted her back. A shrill wail sounded from down the hall, a child screaming at the top of his lungs. Given that Sadie was exhausted and fragile, I was glad the kid wasn’t in her room.

I sat with her for a few hours as she nodded in and out of consciousness. I had wanted to call Everly and tell her about the situation, but Sadie had made me promise that I wouldn’t tell a soul. I understood her decision. Right now she was feeling ashamed. Victimized.

I thought back to how close I had come to being Scott’s plaything. Why had I been lucky? Why had I been able to turn the tables and stop him from taking his sick actions any further?

“Grace.” I recognized Sadie’s voice. It was familiar yet different. The same soft sound, but an unfamiliar uncertainty to her timbre.

I looked up and she was watching me. When I asked, “Who did this to you?” all she did was look away.

The action was worse than any response she could have given me. She wouldn’t look me in the eye. That action alone told me she was broken, not just on the outside. And it, in turn, broke my heart.

She looked like a nightmare come true. My own nightmare. One I no longer had to worry about…or so I had thought. Scott had made his threat perfectly clear the night of the retirement party. We were never safe. No one was ever safe. Escort or not. There were always going to be people who wanted to hurt others, and sometimes you drew the short end of the stick.

Sadie had drawn that stick tonight.

“Please talk to me.”

She didn’t even shake her head in response.

“All right.” I reached out, pulling up the blanket. When I squeezed her hand, she cringed, tensing up and pulling away immediately.

My friend was scared and in pain. And I didn’t know what I could do for her.

The nurse had come in to check on Sadie. It looked like she wouldn’t be discharged till the morning, which didn’t bother me. I had called in to work on Monday after the retirement party, and once again this morning, thinking that some distance would be the best for everyone. Marta had called me, but I didn’t answer. Eventually I would have to face her, and Colette, but not today.

When Sadie faded out again, I picked up my phone. Still no message from Ben. I didn’t blame him. No doubt he was pissed at me for leaving him high and dry.

He’d said so himself, he had issues with people not following through on their promises. I had promised I would be there for him, and with one glance at my cellphone, I’d hightailed it out of the classroom. But surely he had to give me a pass once he found out the circumstances? Although, I wasn’t sure I could tell him. This was Sadie’s nightmare. Her story to tell. And I would keep her secret.

I wanted to call him. I wanted to find out how the second talk had gone. I Googled some keywords, hoping that I might find a new video online. When I found one, my stomach clenched in nervousness. But after a minute of watching, I had no reason to be worried. He was amazing. Charming. Charismatic. Honest. He was Ben, and he’d done it all without me there. As it should be. He was a grown man who needed to figure out his own way in the world. Even if it was in porn. A small part of me had liked that he’d needed me to be there for him. But now a bigger part knew that he’d probably done so well in spite of me.

The nurse came to check on Sadie once again. After several hours of sitting here, my own coherence was waning. I needed to find some coffee. I gathered my phone and purse and put on my coat and placed a kiss on Sadie’s head.

Her tiny voice croaked behind me as I started to walk away. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

My heart seized. Sadie was the least fragile woman I’d ever met. The first time I laid eyes on her I was in awe, wowed at her brazenness, her confidence, her subtle manipulation and overt sexuality.

She had taught me everything I knew about being an escort. I couldn’t have survived it without her. I couldn’t have done it without her.

She had been there the first time I’d gone all the way with a client. She’d held my hand while I’d sobbed uncontrollably. She’d whispered words of encouragement, telling me about her own experiences to make everything seem better. She had been there for me when I’d needed her.

And there was no way I was leaving her now.

I turned and smiled, settling in my seat for the night, realizing that the red hair matted and frizzy against the pillow was the only fiery thing left of my friend right now.

The next morning Sadie was discharged and I drove us home. I settled her into bed and immediately called Everly. I wasn’t sure how to handle this. I couldn’t stop my body from shaking. Every little noise had me tensing in fear. Although I hadn’t been the one who’d been attacked, I couldn’t help but feel like it could have been me in that bed. It would have been so easy for it to be me in that hospital.

Instead I’d had someone to intervene on my behalf. I’d had someone on my side. It had been less than twenty-four hours since I’d last seen him at the front of the classroom waiting to give his talk, but I missed him. Not to mention, I’d put together a special night for us, even bought him a gift. I hoped I still had the opportunity to go through with my plans. If he ever wanted to talk to me again.

I had to try.

The next thing I did was call work. I’d left a voicemail for Colette, explaining that my friend had been injured and that I needed to take some time off to take care of her. Distance from work was my best friend right now. Distance was the only thing keeping me from learning the truth about my future at Elle Cosmetics. And I wasn’t quite ready to learn what that future held.

Sadie was not pleased when Everly showed up at our apartment that evening, but she was our friend. We’d lived together. If anyone was going to understand, it was her.

I drove north on the highway to Ben’s house, knowing that he’d be home, taking RR2 to the barely visible driveway on the right. The gray November sky did nothing to invite me up to the porch, but I went anyway. The hydrangeas along the front of the house were long since dead. I knocked, then rang the doorbell when I heard a little movement from inside.

Then the door swung open, and I knew immediately that my appearance was too little, too late.

Ben didn’t even say hello. He barely looked me in the eye. My heart was already broken for Sadie, but seeing the look in his eyes right now shattered those broken pieces. I knew my heart would never be the same again.

He was wearing nothing but black basketball shorts, his torso and feet bare, that tanned surfer skin making my mouth water.

“What are you doing here?” He didn’t look happy to see me, and his greeting confirmed it.

“I needed to see you, and…” A bitter wind whipped behind me and I shivered.

I watched his nipples tighten and gooseflesh break out across his skin. I wished my appearance had been the one to elicit that reaction.

“It’s cold.” He ran a hand across his beautiful hair with a sigh and took one step back, allowing me entry.

Thank you, Mother Nature.

I knew my way around, so I walked to the den at the back of the house. It was a movie lover’s haven. Three out of the four walls were lined with shelving units, full from top to bottom with DVD’s. I took my coat off and left it and my purse and the reusable green bag that contained his gift on one of the oversized armchairs.

He flopped onto the couch and I joined him on the opposite side, keeping my distance because I wasn’t sure just how this would go.

I wish he didn’t look so damn good. I wish he had bothered to put a shirt on. I wish I had any sort of control when it came to him.

But I didn’t.

Without even thinking, I launched myself at him, pressing my lips against his with a moan. I pulled him down by wrapping my arms around his neck. It made it easier for me to devour his mouth. And that’s exactly what I did. It took me a minute to realize that I was the only one participating. His lips barely moved and his hands remained at his sides. Had I overestimated my vagina?

He pushed me off him, forcing me back with both hands on my biceps and causing my grip around his neck to break. I was afraid to look into his eyes because I didn’t want to see anything but a go-ahead, nothing but desire.

“What are you doing here, Grace?”

I tensed. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Where’s Everly?”

His statement came as a surprise. He’d rather I seek out my best friend for comfort?

“I wanted to be with you.”

More than anyone else, even Everly. I looked up, right into the dark brown eyes that never seemed to stop telling me how he was feeling.

And right now he was in pain. I hoped like hell that my eyes were giving me away right now, because after all this time, I had fallen in love with Ben Lockwood. And if I had any hope of getting him to forgive me, he needed to see that.

But he wanted nothing to do with me. I deserved it. I had let him down. I’d deserted him when he’d needed me the most.

Tears stung my eyes and I couldn’t keep them from falling. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I didn’t want to show my weakness. But the last twenty-four hours had been so overwhelming, and for Sadie’s sake I hadn’t shed one tear.

But seeing Ben now, so distant and aloof, it was too much to take.

“Hey, why are you crying?” He reached out, and for the first time since he’d opened the door, there was a tenderness on his face. A sympathetic tone to his voice. His fingers grabbed my chin and tilted my head back so that I could look into his eyes.