Reawakened Secrets (5 page)

“Don’t be silly, Claire. We’ve been friends forever. Of course you’re invited, too,” she said.

I knew it wasn’t true. Jackson had been increasingly distant since that day at the lake. At first, I thought it was just my imagination. Why would he avoid me? But he never seemed to be with Alice when I was, and we didn’t spend time alone anymore. Did it embarrass him that I was a year younger, even though I’d graduated with them? Or had he finally noticed how much being near him made me tremble, and that my eyes tracked his every move no matter how hard I tried not to?

Whatever the cause, my pride would not allow me to ask what I’d done wrong, and my pain would not allow me to acknowledge the loss. Alice was too preoccupied planning their future to notice. She kept reminding me how busy Jackson was, getting ready for college and the official start of his life-long internship in his family empire. She didn’t realize, as I did, that he wasn’t too busy for her—just me.

I studied her as she primped and applied her make-up. Alice was absolute perfection. She didn’t need mascara or eye shadow to enhance her beauty. My heart constricted painfully as the diamond studs she placed in her ears caught the light. My hand clutched the locket hidden in my pocket.

They were both presents from Jackson. I was surprised when he’d handed a small box to both Alice and me after our high school graduation ceremony. I remembered the prick of tears when I first traced the delicate platinum, heart-shaped charm. He had even taken the time to fill it with glorious childhood memories. On one side was a picture of the three of us with our arms wrapped around each other, and on the other, just Jackson and me with our heads close together as we smiled at each other. It was simple yet beautiful and exactly what I needed to calm my fears of losing them both.

I’d wanted to launch myself at him and never let go. At least I did until I looked up. Jackson was already locked in Alice’s arms, returning her hug, and her diamond earrings twinkled in her hand wrapped around his neck. Our eyes met over Alice’s shoulder, and I was surprised to see the beautiful turquoise depths clouded over with the same sadness swirling inside me.

He had chosen gifts that suited both of us. It was sweet and thoughtful, but I hadn’t been able to do more than murmur, “Thanks.” Why did Jack giving Alice diamonds caused my happiness to disintegrate? I looked up at Alice again, and our eyes clashed in the mirror.

“Aren’t you going to get ready?” she asked, without turning around.

I looked down at my button-up tank top, jean shorts, and flip flops, then back to Alice wearing a dark blue mini-skirt, short-sleeved cashmere sweater, and high heels. I was uncomfortably aware of what I looked like in comparison, but it only made me more determined not to change. Besides, it was summertime, it was hot, and I sure as hell wasn’t trying to impress anybody.

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” At the lift of her meticulously sculpted brows, I said, “Take it or leave it. It’s not like I want to go anyway.”

“You could at least wear the locket Jackson gave you.”

“Oh, I forgot it,” I said, looking away from the mirror.

Alice sighed and started to put on the final touch of lip gloss. “Fine, brat. I swear you can be so stubborn. I just need one last night with the three of us together. I don’t . . . things are changing, and I need you there. Is that too much to ask?”

She sounded so sad. I felt bad for lying and giving her a hard time. I would do anything for her, and she knew it. I walked to her side, placed my arm across her shoulders, and leaned my head against hers. We stared at each other in the mirror again. I smiled and was happy to see her do the same.

“I am yours to command, Ms. Sinclair. You look beautiful, by the way.”

“And you look sexy, brat.”

“Whatever, let’s go . . .
party,
” I said, rolling my eyes.

“C’mon, party animal,” she said with a laugh.

After an hour at Jackson’s house, I’d already reached my limit for all the bullshit that comes with the rich and entitled. Not one classmate was there, not that I missed any of them. Alice and Jackson were the only people I knew. They made a striking pair, a real-life Barbie and Ken, complete with the mansion. It was just my bad luck they were both too busy having fun with their other friends to waste time entertaining me. Jackson caught me staring, and my heart pounded furiously before I dragged my eyes away.

He ignored me all night unless I was talking to someone else. Then he was quick to find a reason to get their attention and escort them away. I couldn’t help but notice the girls looked through me, while the guys were happy to look a little too much. How Jackson and Alice considered these uppity bitches and horny assholes friends was beyond me.

I was so done with this high school shit. I would spend my summer interning at a hospital instead of traipsing across Europe. I would be planning my college courses instead of scheming to bag a rich fiancé. I didn’t belong here, and I never would. So where did that leave my friendship with Alice and Jackson? I could never be done with them. I loved them both too much. All my shortcomings were hardly their fault. If I was being generous about this latest disaster of a night, I would admit I was partially at fault for dressing like a hillbilly. But I was not in the mood to be generous, and I was ready to go.

There wasn’t enough beer in the whole state, let alone this backyard oasis, to make me stay much longer. When one of the drunken idiots came over and spilled his drink on my top as he tried to feel me up, I was pushed past my limit. He would never dare treat Alice this way, but I was always the easy target.

“Touch me again and I’ll break each one of your useless, privileged fingers, asshole.”

“Oh, come on, baby,” he snickered as I stalked away.

I told Alice I wasn’t feeling well and I would get a ride home. I didn’t want to ruin the party for her with an early end to her night. Besides, she was exactly where she wanted to be: by Jackson’s side. I couldn’t look at him or even say good-bye. My head had started to spin, and just thinking about him made my chest hurt. I had to get out of there before I did something stupid—really, really stupid. I rushed into the house from the pool area to search for a phone to call a cab.

“Looking for something?” a familiar voice asked just over my shoulder.

I spun around, surprised to see Jackson lounging in the doorway of the study.

“Don’t worry, I wasn’t casing the joint. I just need a phone so I can leave. Don’t rich people have phones?”

“Are you okay? Do you need me to get you a dry shirt?”

Well, this was just perfect. You’d think I’d entered a wet T-shirt contest the way he was looking at me. I finally snapped. How dare he treat me this way when he’s supposed to be my friend? He wanted nothing to do with me anymore and it was tearing me apart.

“Don’t bother, you stupid jerk. I’m used to cheap beer and losers like your friends out there. I was actually thinking about taking my shirt off altogether. What do you think, Mr. Montgomery? It’s awfully hot.”

His hand jerked, twisting the knob before he walked into the room and slammed the door behind him. “What are you talking about? Have you completely lost your mind?”

“No. I’m just trying to make it easier for you to keep treating me like trash. I’m not worth a minute of your time anymore. I’m not good enough to be invited to your party. Oh, and forget about talking to your stupid friends. I bet there’s something I am good for, right? Most of the guys here seem to think so.”

Damn it! I wish I knew how to be sexy or alluring. Just get naked. Naked should work, right? I plastered a smile on my face and started to unbutton my shirt. Maybe I was losing my mind, but I had his attention now, and the beer I downed earlier was making me brave, or stupid.

“Knock it off, Claire. You’re being ridiculous.”

My shirt hit the floor. Jackson swallowed and clenched his hands at his side.
Probably so he won’t wring my neck,
I mused. The quivering lace of my bra was the only sign of my nervousness. I can do this. According to everyone at school, I’m nothing but a slut anyway. I walked toward him, my eyes never leaving his face. I fooled myself into thinking I could see hunger in his eyes and a desire that matched my own.

“Put your shirt back on, Claire. You’re just embarrassing both of us.”

I felt blood rush to my head, making me dizzy. It throbbed through my body, no longer in desire but in annihilating humiliation and pain.

“What’s the matter, Jack? You can’t get it up for the help?” I said, scrambling to hide my devastation. “Do you need to go ask Daddy’s permission first? If you send one of the assholes you call friends in here, maybe he can show you what to do.”

Anger burned brightly in his eyes. The vein in his temple throbbed, and he actually growled before he pounced. He grabbed my arm and slammed our bodies together angling his mouth over mine. He pried my lips open, and with the first wet flick of his tongue, I was his willing captive. Every part of me was on fire. I wrapped my arms around him, eager to accept whatever he was wanted to give. I moaned both in pleasure and pain from the fierce ambush. His hands tangled in my hair, trying to draw my mouth closer. Seconds, minutes, hell I was so lost it could have been hours later, he pulled away and stared down at me. The faint sound of music synchronized with our heavy breathing and my pounding heart.

“I would never let any of those assholes, near you,” he said.

“Okay.”

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “You’re driving me crazy. Are you sure this is what you want?”

I secured my arms around his neck, afraid he might change his mind. “Yes, Jack. But, do you want . . . this . . . me?” I whispered.

Once again, Jackson’s hands tightened in my hair. He lowered his forehead to mine, exhaled and mumbled, “God help me, yes. You’re all I want. It’s all I think about.”

Clothes flew around the room. His shirt was the first to go, followed by his pants. My heart lurched wildly as heat spread from my hips all the way to my toes when Jackson slid my shorts and panties down my legs to join the bra already on the floor. His kisses melted away my hesitation, leaving no room for embarrassment. It was unbelievable ecstasy—touching him, kissing him, and hearing his hungry response. Somehow, we made our way to the sofa, giving him better access to the rest of my body. I took a moment to appreciate how perfectly we fit together. Greedy for more, I ran my hands down the hard ridges in his back and pulled him closer.

“Jack, I want you.”

“Me too, so fucking much.”

I was spellbound by the texture of his skin, the scent of his hair, and the way he trembled at my touch. Liquid heat pooled between my thighs. “Oh, God,” I moaned as he lowered his body to mine, grinding his hard shaft against the center of every nerve ending in my body.

Jackson kissed a fiery line down my neck, across one nipple and then the other. He was so good at this; too damn good. He continued to explore my body with his hands, mouth, and, holy shit, his tongue. Every cell in my body jolted into overload when he began to lick smoldering circles around my navel and then lower. My back arched off the cushions. An electric shock of sensation pulsed from his tongue straight to my clit.

“Jackson,” I panted as he gently sucked on the most sensitive part of me. I writhed against his face and bucked on the couch when he slipped a finger inside me. He moaned, and I melted. I was mortified by the sounds that erupted deep in my throat, but my body was completely under his control. I looked down and saw his eyes on me, watching every jerk and sound he wrung from me. I could swear he loved every second of it. No one’s first time was supposed to be this good.

“Mmm,” he groaned, moving his fingers in a faster rhythm that ‘had me gasping for breath. “You like that, baby?”

“Yes, God, yes! Jackson, please. I can’t, I need . . .”

“I know what you need,” he rasped before he kissed his way up my body until we were looking into each other’s eyes. “I want to see your beautiful face the first time you come. Do you want to come for me, Claire?”

Oh my God, did he just say “the first time”?

“Yes.”

“Yes, what? Say it, baby.”

“Oh, God,” I moaned as my restless body writhe beneath him. “Say what?”

“Tell me what you want.”

“You—just you. I’ll do anything you want.”

“Fuck, Claire.”

Jackson devoured my lips, tangling our tongues together. He trailed slow, biting kisses down the side of my neck and then made his way across my chin to grip my bottom lip between his teeth before sucking away the sting. Shocked by the ache created by the small tinge of pain, my gasp was swallowed by the insistent thrust of his tongue. I had never seen him lose control so completely, and the idea of him doing it for me went straight to my head. His words drove me insane.

“I have to be inside you right now. Please don’t tell me to stop, Claire.”

There was no fear or hesitation, only white-hot need. With my eyes focused on his, I reached between our bodies and pulled him toward what we both wanted. Momentarily wary because of the size and hardness that throbbed in my hand, I braced myself for the inevitable pain. But I wasn’t able to hold back my cry when he thrust inside me. Jackson stopped immediately, trembling with the effort.