Redeeming Justice (42 page)

”Oh, daughter,” her mother cried in a pained whisper. “You poor thing having to keep
such a secret. I’m sorry you had to go through that. David was a nice boy. I understand
why you stayed quiet.”

“Yeah, well…here’s the thing Ma. I only told you that so you don’t judge Alex harshly.”

“Why would I do that? I don’t even know the man.”

Meghan felt her nose start to itch and her lip tremble as she fought back the torrent
of tears threatening her composure.

“
Ohhhhh
,” her mothered murmured, coming swiftly to her side as she laid her hand reassuringly
upon her head. “You’ve got a case of the hots for this Major character.” Seeing her
old school Irish mother smirk at her in understanding was priceless.

“Ma! Come on!” Meghan cried out. “The hots? Jeez Louise. You and that naughty book
club you belong to,” she chuckled shaking her head.

“Don’t you be dissing my book club, young lady,” Maggie giggled. “I’ve learned all
sorts of things. I can be hip too, y’know. Don’t tell Da, but I’ve got a ton of wicked
erotica on my Kindle.” In a conspiratorial whisper she added, “I’ve read all the Fifty
Shades books.”

Meghan looked at her mother like she was crazy. “Ma, c’mon,” she groaned while shaking
her head.

“What? You think I don’t know about these things? Ask me anything!” she laughed. “I
even know about the Kegel Balls,” she announced proudly.

Meghan was sure she was going to die of embarrassment. “Ma, seriously,
enough
.”

“Well, if you’d rather I changed the subject, maybe you can tell me if this Major
is the reason you came back here looking so miserable?”

It was useless to avoid the truth. Her mother would see right through any attempt
to pretend otherwise. “
Mmmm hmmm
. But it’s complicated.”

Maggie O’Brien sat in a chair alongside her daughter and stared off into space for
a bit. “Did I ever tell you what a royal pain your Da was before we got together?”

Surprised, Meghan sat forward and faced her mom. “No. I thought you said it was love
at first sight.”

“Oh, it was,” her mom replied with a giggle snort. “But that doesn’t mean it was easy
or
uncomplicated.” She rolled her eyes and made a mocking face. “He’s a man after all
Meghan Elizabeth, and the whole lot of them can be so exasperating! And just so we’re
clear – they are
all
complicated.”

“I hear that,” she agreed with a grunt.

“Let’s just say your dad needed some help to find his way. He’s lucky my father didn’t
knock his head off.”

“Mom, I don’t know what to do. He’s got all theses issue because of the war that have
him wrapped so tight emotionally, he can’t see the damn forest for the trees.”

“What kind of issues? Are you talking serious PTSD?”

“No. Nothing like you mean. It’s survivor’s guilt mostly. Like Uncle Damian had. He
doesn’t think he should be happy because somehow if he is, it means he’s letting all
those people down. Like they’d all be forgotten.”

“Is that why you left?”

“Yeah, but to be honest, I would have eventually murdered him if I’d stayed. The man
gives new meaning to being a brick wall,” Meghan murmured. “He needs time to figure
it out on his own. Maybe he’ll get there and maybe he won’t. I still don’t know.”

“Have you been talking to him since you left? Is that who I see you chatting with
on the phone or your laptop at all hours?”

Meghan shook her head and groaned. “No. I made friends with some women at the Villa.
That’s who I’ve been on the phone with but I haven’t talked to him. We had a sort
of –
confrontation
before I left. We didn’t even say good-bye.” Her voice trailed off to nothing, remembering
that last day.

Her mom mumbled a drawn out, “Mmm…” She’d given her a lot of information to take on
board.

After a minute of powerful silence, green eyes met green eyes, making Meghan swallow
a thickening in her throat. She was Maggie O’Brien’s only daughter. Once she was trapped
in the tractor beam of her mother’s knowing gaze, she couldn’t look away as she heard
her ma ask, “Are you in love with his man?”

Direct and to the point. Meghan admired the shrewd way she’d been backed into a corner.
Her mom was good. She’d have to remember this maneuver for when she had her own kids
to deal with.

“Yes.” There really wasn’t anything else to say, so she didn’t.

Maggie suddenly laughed and gave Meghan a little tap on her knees. “I hope your Major
has back-up my dear, because when your dad and brothers hear this, there’s a Spanish
Don about to get his butt kicked. Nobody around here is stupid.” She chuckled. “This
confrontation you speak of – that’s code for
fight
, yes? And if I’m not mad crazy, I’m guessing your Boston Bad Bitch attitude and mouth
didn’t take any prisoners. Even so, make no mistake. None of the O’Brien’s will sit
back and let some stranger holed up in the desert give you grief.”

“Mom!” Meghan yelled, panicked. “You can’t tell them any of this. Are you crazy?”

“Oh sweetie,
really
? When I said everyone was worried about you, I was serious. Deval is being especially
worrisome. You know he can’t stand it when you’re upset.”

Maggie leaned in and gave her daughter a brief hug. “Better man up, my daughter. I’ll
handle Da, but your brothers have a right to know what’s going on with their only
sister and even with all your bitching, you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your family
is part of who you are. The man who gets your heart is going to have to understand
that.”

And there they were – little nuggets of mom wisdom that cut right through everything.

“He’s got back-up, Mom,” she assured her. “In fact, he’s got his own amazing family
who are just as great and awesome as the O’Brien clan.”

“Well good! He’s going to need them. Be prepared to explain this to the whole fam
damily at Sunday dinner.”

Meghan bit back a smile and shook her head. She loved how her mom tried to be cute
with her non-swears. Yeah, the whole damn family indeed. Something to look forward
to.

It was almost midnight when she heard the faint hum of a cellphone buzzing. Sitting
cross-legged on the floor at the foot of the loveseat in her bedroom alcove with her
laptop and camera nearby, Meghan struggled to reach for the phone before it woke everyone
else up. She’d been mindlessly organizing her photo files and had flung it aside earlier.

Rolling to her side with fingers stretched as far as they could reach, she finally
made contact with the corner of the humming object and scooped it closer till she
could snatch it up. Trying awkwardly to right her position, she quickly pressed the
call button, then bobbled the phone next to her ear.

“Aargh,” she groaned when she nearly lost her balance, the phone, and her sense of
humor as she pitched forward awkwardly. “Shit,” her pithy swear made it into the mouthpiece
a second before she answered properly. “Hello?”

“Irish!” Meghan’s heart clutched when she heard Tori’s excited voice. “Damn glad that
I caught you up. You
are
still up I hope,” she chuckled.

“Sleep is not my friend these days,” Meghan grumped.

“Well, I have some news. An update, really. Maybe it will help you sleep a little
better.”

Meghan cut her off. It was late and while sleep was an elusive thing, that didn’t
mean she wasn’t pretty wiped out. She was tired and miserable enough that she knew
even the best news in the world wasn’t going to change that. And besides, if this
was going to be about Alex, she was feeling so raw and out-of-sorts that she wasn’t
sure she wanted to hear it.

“Not tonight, Tori. Okay?”

The voice coming over the phone sounded worried and also a bit surprised. “Um, sure
Meghan. Did I catch you at a bad time?”

Lord but she wished it were that simple. Blowing a deep sigh, Meghan drew her knees
up and used them as an armrest. “Bad time, bad day. Take your pick. I hate men, by
the way.”

“Yikes,” Tori chirped. “That doesn’t sound good. What brought this on?”

“My fucking brothers,” she mumbled into the phone. “Would you believe that my mother
lost her damn mind and told them about…well, you know.”

“Uh – she told them about what? Your visit here?”

“Oh for heaven’s sake Tori. She told them that some lothario out in the Arizona desert
seduced their sister, sullied her innocence, and then dumped her when the kinky fun
times were over. You know. The sort of dramatic big bad wolf story intended to get
them all fired up.”

“Are you serious?” Tori wheezed. “Holy shitballz Irish. I hope you’re exaggerating,
even if it is just a little.”

Meghan moaned into the phone. “They’re my
brothers
. No matter what she says, that’s what they’ll hear. And God only knows what she’s
telling my father. Tomorrow is Sunday and everyone will be over for family dinner.
I have no doubt that I’m going to be getting an earful of Irish outrage and indignation.”

There was a long stretch of silence that broke when Tori mumbled a heartfelt, “I’m
so sorry.”

Meghan sighed and squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears threatening to break free.
“He broke my heart.” It was all she could say.

“I know.”

“I still love him.”

“I know that, too.”

Shit.
Her nose stung while she fought back the tears. Sniffing loud enough for Tori to
hear she added, “God, Tori. I feel like crap, and I’m falling apart physically. It’s
more than I can take.” The last words came out in a shallow whisper that gave away
much.

“Sweetie,” Tori asked gently. “Have you given any more thought to calling Alex? Maybe
try to talk to him?”

This time she sniffed really loud as her lip trembled. “
Fuck
him. He didn’t say good-bye.”

Tori groaned. “I could say something here about his head being up his ass but it’d
be a waste of time. He’s a man, Irish. And a Justice Brother. Remember the cowardly
lion searching for courage? For redemption from the past? I just know he’ll get there
eventually. Just hang onto that, okay? And don’t give up. Not now.”

Meghan pushed up off the floor and sprawled across the love seat as she remembered
Tori saying she’d called with an update.

“H
mmmm
. You’re up to something Mrs. St. John. I can hear it in your voice.”

Tori burst out laughing on the other end. “Christ, girlfriend. I
wish
I were up to something. You two are driving me and Lacey batshit. As it is, I can
only offer up a bit of inside information. What you choose to do with it is up to
you.”

“Go on…”

“Well, it turns out that Big Daddy is taking the agency plane to the East Coast.”

“What?” Meghan’s heart started thudding in her chest.

“
Mmmm hmmm
. You heard me. Alex is headed to your coast. He’s doing some classified security
‘whateveryouwannacallit’ in Washington. I Googled the distance between Boston and
D.C. It’s less than five hundred miles. A short plane trip or a even a train ride.”

She didn’t respond right away; just sorta let the information sink in.

“Irish? You still there?”

“Yeah.”

“What’re you thinking?”

What was she thinking? Now there was the million dollar question. She’d had an overabundance
of time to think when she made the drive from Arizona to Boston. He had freaked out
- she understood that. At first she clung to the belief that if she’d just told him
about her feelings it would have made a difference. But as the weeks went by and he
didn’t even try to reach out to her she’d begun to replace that narrative with one
that was anchored in the notion that she’d been spared more pain by not revealing
what a romantic fool she’d been. It was the proverbial rock and a hard place. The
two warring points of view were eating her alive.

“He’s not coming east to see me, Tori,” she whined petulantly. “Not really. No matter
what your imagination tells you. And I’m sure it’s not even a little bit unusual for
him or anyone from the agency to be in high demand by Washington.”

She heard Tori sigh and hesitate. “You’re forcing my hand, Meghan. My husband will
spank me for what I’m about to tell you, but I think you have a right to know even
though Draegyn doesn’t think I should meddle. Alex, well…he, um – he asked about you.
And before you say anymore about his trip, we both know it’d practically take an act
of Congress to persuade him to willingly step in the middle of all that military and
national security shit. He’s going because it’s where you are.”

“What did he ask, Tori?”

“Well, first of all, the framed photograph arrived. Well played, Irish, well played.
He looked like a man in need of oxygen once he saw the card with it. After everyone
had a chance to rub it in a little he sucked it up and asked if you were alright.
He knew when he asked, what a big deal it was.” After a quick pause she added, “ Sweetie,
Alex knows he fucked up.
Big time
. His only thought was concern about you. That means something, doesn’t it?”