Redemption (42 page)

A bolt of energy flew from her hand. It looked just like a bolt of lightning. If I hadn’t been so worried it’d kill me, I’d have shrieked like a girl. I jerked at my inner light so hard it actually hurt. A wall of light flew out in front of me. I gasped at the sudden brightness, and I fought to see beyond the glare. Had I done that? The lightning bolt bounced off the radiant wall so hard and so fast, Lexi had to throw herself on the ground. The wall remained. I reached out and touched it warily. It was slightly warm but pliable. For once, Lexi was quiet.

“Amazing!” Luther said as he moved around the wall.

He examined it intently before coming to stand at my side. The curiosity in his eyes was evident. What had I done? My chest hurt and I touched it lightly. Luther reached out to touch the bright barrier and was immediately thrown backward into a tree. He fell to the ground with a "humph." My eyes widened in amazement.

“What the hell?” I whispered.

“It’s your power, Blainey. You’ve released too much of it,” Marcas said quietly from behind me.

I hadn’t felt him move in, but his presence didn’t startle me. My body recognized his body as my own. It was a strange but comforting feeling. If I was being honest with myself, I’d have to admit that being attached to Marcas had begun to make me feel less lonely. I could hear Lexi snorting indignantly from behind the light.

“Whoo hoo, she created a table lamp,” Lexi said resentfully. She studied the wall almost as closely as Luther but refrained from touching it.

“And we’re supposed to be impressed?” Lexi asked.

I would have felt angry at her snide behavior if I didn’t detect an almost wistful tone to her voice. Had I managed to impress the imperious Lexi? I reached out tentatively and touched the wall again. It felt warm and comfortable, and I shut my eyes with a sigh. The most amazing feeling came over me. It felt like being hugged, felt like sucking on a million dumdums while reading a favorite book, felt like a spring rain when the sun’s still shining, felt like standing on the edge of a cliff knowing if you jumped there’d be no doubt you could fly. It felt like love. It felt wonderful, but I didn’t know what to do with it.

“Mold it to your intentions, Blainey. This light isn’t just a part of you, it is you. It’s everything you love and care about, everything that makes you hurt, everything that makes you afraid, and every small idiosyncrasy that makes you unique,” Marcas whispered into my ear.

I didn’t shiver at the feel of him there. I just listened to his voice flow through me. It was hypnotizing. He lifted the hand still resting at my side and placed it against the glowing partition. I froze. With my eyes closed, I was overwhelmed with sensation. The feel of being connected to the wall was so great; I didn’t even question Marcas’ immunity to it.  I felt a slight breeze blow against my cheek, and the coldness that resulted made me suddenly aware that I was crying. I opened my eyes slowly and gasped.

“What is this?” I asked in awe.

The wall! It wasn’t a wall anymore. It was a cloak wrapped completely around Marcas and me. We stood in the center of its glowing orb as if we were the eye of a hurricane.  It circled us in dazzling strings of light that moved over every inch of our bodies. The feeling was amazing. I had never felt so alive, so loved. I looked up at the Demon at my back. Tears still flowed down my cheeks.

“It doesn’t hurt you?” I whispered.

Marcas stared down at me. His expression was still unreadable but the illumination made his eyes look light blue instead of midnight. It was startling.

“The bond, Blainey,” he answered.

I nodded but I didn’t understand. Even with the bond, this light was
so
strong. I felt every vibration, every nuance of its energy as if I were a taunt guitar string being played by a masterful musician. I wanted to cry out with the joy.
This
was my power.

“You need to pull it back inside yourself, Blainey. I’ll help you,” Marcas ordered.

I stared at him dumbly. Put it back? Why? It wasn’t hurting anyone. And it felt so good! I couldn’t put it back. I wouldn’t! Marcas closed his eyes briefly, and I saw his jaw tighten. Was this as much an effort for him as it was for me?

“The feeling will still be there even when you can’t see the light. You’ve found it now, Blainey. It won’t leave you,” Marcas said, his voice gentle. I struggled against him but he held me tight.

“You have to pull it back in,” he said through clenched teeth.

My tears came harder. The light made everything better: the grief I’d felt over my parents, the betrayal I’d felt over my aunt, the fear I still had for my sister, the confusion I had over Conor, the sympathy I felt for Damon and Aunt Kyra, the anger I had toward my father, the fear I had about the future. I didn’t want to take that away. I felt strong. Invincible.

“Being too confident makes you fallible, Blainey. Your fears have never made you a coward. Being afraid makes you more aware of the dangers surrounding you,” Marcas said carefully.

I wasn’t sure what he saw in my eyes, but even I knew I was walking a thin line. I had pulled too hard on my light and I’d discovered a power strong enough I’d almost give my sanity for its comfort. Marcas squeezed my arms. The pain brought me somewhat to my senses but it made Marcas swear. I felt the shock the light gave him for hurting me, and I winced.

“Pull it back in, Blainey,” Marcas ordered. His tone made it easy to obey. The light made it hard to care. I leaned into him and searched frantically for his hand. I found it and squeezed. The gesture kept me grounded.

“How?” I finally whispered. He leaned over me.

“Close your eyes, Blainey."

 I complied. The light was so strong I could see it through my closed lids. I squeezed Marcas’ hand tighter. I didn’t want the light hidden. It was so beautiful. Marcas squeezed back hard enough it hurt. I felt another shock go through him. The pain made me more lucid, but it was hurting him. The light may be protecting me, but I realized belatedly that he was trying to help me too.

“Begin to pull at the light. The more you pull, the smaller it will become,” Marcas ordered wearily.

I obeyed, but slowly. I could feel the light in my hands as I pulled. It flowed through me, made me so very strong. I pulled harder to keep from being pulled back in by its comfort and beauty.

“You’re doing good, Blainey. Just a little more,” Marcas murmured.

I pulled harder, faster. Marcas suddenly put his hands over mine. I could no longer see the light through my lids. He pushed my hands up against my chest, and I fought to breath. The light squirmed against me.

“Just stay calm,” Marcas mumbled as he pressed my hands tighter against my chest. I felt the light pierce my skin and I cried out.

“Don’t bite your tongue!” Marcas ordered harshly as I fought to remember why it was important I did as he said. There were three Demons surrounding me. Blood was a bad idea right now.

I whimpered as the light seeped into me. It sunk down into my bones, burning as it surrounded my heart. But nothing hurt like the pain that went through me as it entwined itself into my soul. I gritted my teeth to keep from screaming.

“Give it a moment,” Marcas breathed. I felt the tears pouring down my cheeks. How could something so wonderful hurt so bad?

“Because it’s the best emotions that hurt the worst,” Marcas whispered.

The pain passed through me, and I collapsed. Marcas went down behind me. I crawled slightly away from him. My body seemed to know he needed space. When I looked up at him, I noticed his face looked strained and somewhat pale. Had I drained him? He looked up.

“It’s not weariness. You made me stronger, but my body is adapting. It doesn’t know how to handle the Angel part of you,” he murmured.

I found it strange sometimes that he could read my thoughts so well. I knew he wasn’t inside my head because that’s one power we’d share if he was. I’d be able to feel it. Right?

“That was fucking unbelievable!” Luther said quietly from behind Marcas.

 I looked up at the other two Demons on the lawn. Both Lexi and Luther stood frozen. Luther’s face was filled with amazement. Lexi’s countenance was nothing but horror.

“That’s unnatural!” she breathed. She looked at Luther.

“It should have killed him,” Lexi said to her twin. Luther shook his head. There was no making sense of it. Lexi stamped her foot. She seemed pissed about the whole ordeal.

“It should have fucking killed him! Maybe everyone else is right. Maybe the girl should die,” Lexi said angrily.

Her blood red eyes found mine. I scooted backward along the grass. Anger might fuel cautiousness in mortals and even Angels, but I knew from the expression on Lexi’s face that the only thing it fueled in Demons was murder. I searched for my light and found it so easily; it was like simply turning a key in the ignition of a car. I wasn’t going to let her intimidate me. After what I’d just experienced, her anger seemed mild. I wasn’t mortal. Not entirely. And for the first time, I knew that I didn’t mind being what I was. I embraced it. Lexi took a step forward and growled. Marcas stood up and Luther moved toward his sister. I gave both men a look that made them pause.

“Back off!” I hissed as I pushed myself off the ground. I was doing this alone. I was so tired of being rescued. Lexi giggled.

“Ohhhh, she wants to plaaaaay!” she said as she clapped her hands merrily. Her eyes went redder. I stared at her. I waited for the fear to engulf me, but it never did.

I didn’t have the life experience with my power that these Demons did, but I had just become more acquainted, more comfortable, more in tune with it in the past few minutes than I’m sure Lexi ever had in her Demon life. She used her powers because she loved the feel of it. She loved the strength it gave her. She loved the dominance she got from hurting others. I knew it by the way she moved. I knew it by the way she laughed. I knew it by the way she loved making others feel weaker. I would use mine, not because of the way it made me feel, but because I knew I’d be lost without it. My power wasn’t my strength. My power was my determination. It was my fear, it was the overwhelming emotions I tended to let swamp me. It was me.

“I’m not up for games,” I told Lexi quietly. I didn’t want to fight. If I could avoid it, I would. Lexi’s head swiveled. It was more than a little disconcerting. I stood my ground.

“You’re dangerous to us all, mortal. I won’t let you win the war for the Angels,” she growled as she lifted her hands with obvious intent. They sprouted claws. I stared at them a moment in silence. I was afraid of her, but my need to fight back was stronger. I was so very tired of being the victim. I wasn’t the cause of this war. I wouldn’t let them make me one.

“I’m only as dangerous as you make me, Lexi,” I warned in a low tone.

She grinned, and I saw a mouth full of fangs. The Demons didn’t have the typical vampire fangs the myth-created creatures did. They had ultra-long canines, but the rest of their teeth were pointed as well. I took in a deep breath.

“You’re making threats now, mortal. How cute,” Lexi said as she circled me playfully.

She kept a five foot radius between us. She toyed with me until I couldn’t keep up with her movements. I felt the attack just as it hit me and it sent me to my knees. Lexi had a particular talent for making her victims feel weak. My legs burned where her energy hit me. I looked up at her. My inner light circled the area she attacked and healed it carefully. I kept my gaze blank. I didn’t need her to know that my body had fought off her attack. I fought not to check on Marcas. Had her attack hurt him through me? It was strange having to worry about someone else while worrying about yourself. Maybe we
were
an aberration. But not by choice.

“Your hatred makes you blind,” I said steadily as Lexi sneered.

I stopped the incoming energy she threw at me just as it reached my head. I wasn’t attacking until I had to.

“You will die, mortal,” she said so coldly, I finally felt a hint of fear.

I gazed at her intently. Her eyes glowed so bright I squinted. But, even with the grotesque shape her face had taken because of her eyes and teeth, I saw the look she tried instantly to hide. It made me pause. She was afraid. She was afraid of my power, and it made her angry. Angry enough to kill. She moved so quickly I didn’t see her get close until she grabbed my head in each of her hands. Her claws pierced my skin. She sniffed deeply.

“Please, don’t make me do this,” I whispered.

Lexi stared into my eyes and laughed. I felt blood trickle down my neck.

“Oh, mortal, you smell divine."

Her mouth opened, and she lunged. I took the light I’d been holding inside myself and released it. I’d not meant for the attack to be so strong. I’d done as Marcas ordered. I gave the light my intentions. I gave it my need to destroy those who wanted me dead for their own gain. I gave it my need to end the pain Lexi had caused me and others. I gave it my need for an end. I was tired of this quest. I was tired of the hatred. I was tired of my fear. Light shot forth. Lexi’s teeth barely grazed my neck before she flew backward in surprise. Her mouth hung open. I didn’t see the damage I’d done until Luther moved cautiously toward his sister. I felt something close over the abrasions on my neck and looked back to find Marcas had removed his shirt and was pressing it into my wounds.