Redemption (10 page)

They gathered up their children and Cord harnessed his mare, leading her from the side yard where she’d been cropping the grass. Rachel stacked her dishes in the basket she’d brought along and looked around the kitchen, then cast a sidelong glance at Alicia.

“Are you all right?” she asked. “You’re quiet all of a sudden.”

Alicia pinned a bright smile in place. “Of course. I’m fine. Just tired, and maybe a little let down after all the excitement.”

“Will you be in church in the morning?” Rachel asked.

Alicia nodded and then had another thought. “Jake doesn’t go, does he?”

“No,” Rachel said quietly. “Not since Rena…” She paused for a long moment. “Neither does Jason. I’ve hoped you might be able to change that.”

“Don’t count on it. Not right away, anyway.”
Maybe
not ever
. If Jake balked at the idea, she would have no comeback. And getting him beyond the front porch seemed an insurmountable obstacle right now.

“I’ll be there, anyway,” Alicia said. She hugged Rachel, holding her close for a few seconds. “Thank you,” she whispered, kissing the other woman’s cheek.

Rachel looked deeply into Alicia’s eyes. “It will be fine. Just wait and see.”

“I know,” Alicia answered staunchly. “I’m sure it will.” But the thought of climbing the stairs to a lonely bed on the only wedding night she would ever have made her heart wrench with sadness.

She smiled, hoping that her lips did not tremble as she repeated Rachel’s words. “It will be fine.”

J
AKE HAD REMOVED HIS TIE
by the time the surrey rolled away. “Never did like getting all gussied up,” he muttered, stretching his neck and loosening the collar of his shirt.

“Well, you clean up pretty good,” Alicia said, straightening a lamp on the library table and then plumping the pillows on the couch. Unable to look him full in the face, she busied herself with meaningless chores, aware that he watched her closely.

“One thing I’ll never have to worry about with you is getting a big head,” he told her.

She glanced at him quickly, aware that her words might have caused him to bristle, but his smile reassured her. And then the smile faded and he seemed to be considering what he would say next.

“What is it?” she asked, already pretty sure of the topic he was about to open. It had stuck in his craw since right before the wedding ceremony, and she’d
been relieved that he’d let it ride until now. “If we’re going to talk about the piano, get it said, Jake.”

He waved a hand at the instrument, although his eyes did not follow the gesture. “You know how I feel about the thing,” he said gruffly. “It was not pleasant to see it taking over the whole room again.”

“It’s always taken up the same amount of space,” she told him.

“Don’t be dense. You know what I mean. You took the sheets off of it and got it all dusted up, even put those dratted flowers on it.”

His words stung, but she did her best to shrug them off. “I thought it looked odd to have it all draped and hidden from sight. If you like, I’ll take the sheets out of the laundry basket and put them back.” She waited for his snarl, certain he would let her know, in no uncertain terms, that he was upset with her.

“I’d rather never see the thing again,” he said harshly. “If there was an easy way to get it out of here, I’d already have done it.”

“It’s a beautiful instrument,” she said quietly. “I would give much to be able to play it myself. I fear my childhood lessons left me with little knowledge. Although, I suspect my lack of talent was the real problem.”

“I’d rather you didn’t open the lid,” he said. “Music is no longer a part of my life.”

“How sad.” She turned from him and walked out of
the room, aware that she’d riled him enormously. That he hadn’t made an issue of the matter while Cord and Rachel were present was a small miracle, she decided.

Don’t be dense
. He had the ability to come directly to the point, and she had been the target once again.

The stairs were beneath her feet and she climbed to the second floor silently. The sound of Jake’s chair against the floor caught her ear and she knew he watched her as she reached the top of the staircase. “Are you going to bed?” he asked.

“I thought I might. Why, did you need something from me?” And wasn’t that a foolish question. The man was self-sufficient, at least insofar as tending to his lying down at night and rising in the morning. He had no need of her.

“No. As you may have noticed, I prefer to be alone a good share of the time. It was a polite question, Alicia. Appreciate it. I’m not often polite.”

She bit her tongue. She would not add to the flame of his anger. The sun was low in the sky, would have sunk below the horizon by the time she donned her nightgown and took care of the new dress. There didn’t seem to be much else to do, anyway. The rules of their association had been put in place and she must abide by them.

It was fully dark when she heard Jason coming in the back door. It slammed behind him and then Jake’s
low tones could be heard from the kitchen, his words indecipherable. Probably telling the boy to go to bed, she thought. In a few minutes, the stairs were attacked by Jason’s boots, his feet thumping on every step.

She’d lay odds he’d not wiped them on the rug by the kitchen door and had no doubt left his mark behind him all the way to his room. She could tell when he paused outside her door, and she thought she could almost hear him breathing, just the other side of the wooden barrier.

“Miss Alicia? Are you sleeping?” he asked, his voice soft, as if he feared it would carry to the rooms below.

She came near the door and answered, equally as restrained. “No, I’m awake, Jason. You may come in if you like.”

He opened the door, sticking his head inside the room, as if he would not unduly invade her privacy. “I just wanted to tell you good-night,” he said. He looked across the room toward the bed, and she was aware that he could not see her clearly in the deeply shadowed room. “I’m glad you’re here,” he said. And then the door shut with a click.

“W
ILL YOU GO TO CHURCH
with me?” she asked Jason at the breakfast table. Already dressed for Sunday morning service, she’d tied a large apron around her middle to protect her clothing. The meal was simple—
eggs and pancakes, along with a pan of fried potatoes. She’d used up yesterday’s leftovers, and found a jar of applesauce in the pantry to add to the meal.

“Do I hafta?” the boy asked plaintively. “I’d rather go fishin’ in the creek.”

“I’m sure the fish would wait until this afternoon to be caught,” she said, trying her best to lighten the rebuke. As his mouth drooped, she forced a smile. “You may make your own choice, Jason. I’m going, anyway, with or without you. I just thought it might be nice to have a handsome gentleman escort me down the aisle.”

He squirmed in his chair and shot his father a pleading look. “As Alicia said, it’s your choice,” Jake told him.

“
You
never go anymore,” Jason said defensively. “I don’t know why I should have to.”

She rose from the table and gathered up the dishes, then checked the time on her watch. She had only a few minutes until she must leave if she planned on being there early. And since she tried to avoid bringing attention to herself by arriving late, she’d made it a practice to be among the first arrivals.

“We’ll have our Sunday dinner about two o’clock, Jason,” she said. “When you hear the church bells ring for the second time, you’ll know you have two hours before you must be here.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He looked relieved that she did not pursue the matter further, and rose from his chair.

“Please, may I be excused,” she said, prompting him.

He wrinkled his nose but dutifully repeated the phrase, and at her nod left the room.

“What are you fixing for dinner?” Jake asked, pushing his chair from the table.

“I have a pot roast on the back burner,” she said. “I’ll let it cook during church service and finish the rest of the meal when I get home.” The reservoir on the side of the iron cookstove held hot water, and she scooped out a panful and carried it to the sink, pouring it over the dirty dishes in the basin. Bubbles foamed from the soap she’d poured in, and steam rose hot against her hand.

“Don’t burn yourself,” Jake admonished her, as if he felt obliged to make conversation of a sort. The meal had been eaten in silence, as she’d decided it would be up to him to speak first after their unpleasant exchange the night before. Now he’d made two attempts to draw her into some sort of dialogue, to no avail.

To be fair, she knew she must accept his feeble attempt as a peace offering. At least as much of a peace offering as she was ever likely to get from the man. Another panful of water was splashed on the dishes, then she pumped cold water to fill the wash basin. In minutes she’d washed and dried the dishes and put them away in the kitchen cupboard. Words were hard to come by, she decided. For everything she could lay her tongue to held more than a touch of sarcasm.

“Well,” she said, untying the apron and hanging it on a hook, “I’ll be leaving in a few minutes for church. As soon as I get my hat and gloves.”

“You look nice this morning,” he said, his appraising glance touching upon her second-best dress and rising to her hair. “You don’t usually wear combs. Those look pretty against your dark hair.”

“Thank you,” she said politely, aware how suddenly ill at ease she felt with him. If this was what being married had done to her, she didn’t like it one little bit. She’d have to get over her snit from last evening and put it aside. Either that, or spend the rest of the day searching for something to talk about.

He rolled from the kitchen and she watched the door swing shut behind him. Her hands were trembling and she forced them into fists, then rubbed at her eyes with her knuckles. Using one of his cuss words was a temptation she almost succumbed to, the single harsh syllable ringing in her mind.

And then her head rose and she marched from the kitchen and up the stairs to her bedroom. Her hat was pinned in place in moments and her gloves smoothed over her fingers. The stairs needed a new piece of carpet laid, she thought as her boots thudded softly on each step. She’d talk to Jake later today—it would give them something to converse about. He sat in the parlor and she paused in the doorway.

“I’ll be back right after twelve,” she said, and he nodded morosely.

“Is something wrong?” she asked, hesitating just a bit.

“I’d thought once we got married you’d quit the coming and going and be here on Saturday and Sunday.”

“You can solve that problem by going to church with me,” she said with a shrug. “I wouldn’t mind figuring out a way to accomplish that.”

“I know how to get to church,” he told her harshly. Then he waved his hand, dismissing her from his presence.

She turned toward the front door and headed down the walk, aware of him watching her from the parlor window.

“D
ID YOU CATCH
any fish?” It seemed like a good opening, she thought, as she watched Jason wash his hands at the sink. Dinner was on the table, the savory aroma of pot roast filling the room. The potatoes were whipped into a steamy white cloud, and green beans flavored with onions and bacon swam in the broth she’d cooked them in. A pie, offered by one of the ladies of the congregation as a small token to celebrate the wedding, would serve as dessert.

Brought to the front door right after the morning service, the pie had been accepted by Jake, as Alicia was busy in the kitchen. He’d carried it on his lap and
offered it to her just inside the kitchen doorway. “Mr. Robbins said his wife baked this for us,” he told her gruffly.

“I hope you were gracious to the gentleman,” she said, doubt lacing her words.

“About as nice as I could possibly be,” he retorted, and she thought she caught a glimpse of humor in his eyes. He leaned back and watched her as she went about the work of putting a meal together.

When Jason came in to wash, his father greeted him. With a quick look at Alicia, the boy had turned to the sink, and at her query, he grinned. “Got three nice ones!” he said quickly as he dried his hands on a handy towel. Apparently pleased that she held no grudge, he opened the back door. “They’re in the bucket out here. You wanta take a look?”

She shuddered just enough to make him grin and then shook her head. “No, I’m sure they’re lovely fish. I just hope you know how to clean them. Personally, I think there’s nothing quite so off-putting as fish scales.”

“If I clean them real good, can we have them for supper?” he asked, closing the door and hurrying to slide into his seat.

“I suspect so,” she told him, and felt Jake’s look of appreciation touch her from across the table.

They ate in silence, Jason obviously hungry, Jake
relishing each bite as if the meal was well worth waiting for. When he was done he pushed his plate back and brought his coffee cup to sit before him, offering her a nod of approval. “You’re a top-notch cook,” he said. “I haven’t eaten so well in a long time.”

“I’m hoping your dinner put you in a good mood,” she told him, knowing that the subject she would mention now was not to his liking. “I was approached by two of the ladies in church, making inquiries about you, Jake.”

“Me?” His brows rose, his surprise authentic. “Why on earth would anyone ask about me?”

“They weren’t asking about your health, but about your activities,” she said, wary of continuing, knowing she’d opened Pandora’s box and now must face his frown.

“What activities? Surely the things I do can’t possibly interest the ladies of this town.”

“Catherine’s mother wanted to know if there was a possibility of you teaching piano to her daughter. And then Toby Bennett’s mama chimed in. I think they’d decided to approach me together, hoping I would be more likely to concede to their joined forces.”

“I hope you set them straight,” he said emphatically.

“Actually, I told them I’d ask you about it.” Her jaw set firmly as she spoke. “It would be a way for you to become a part of the town again, Jake. And those children are in need of your talent.”

“I have no interest in becoming ‘a part of the town,’” he said mockingly. “You can just go and tell your lady friends that I’m not interested.”

She lowered her gaze to her plate and found herself straightening her silverware with trembling fingers.

“Alicia?” He spoke her name in low, terse syllables. “Look at me,” he said.

Jason rose quickly. “I’m gonna go and clean my fish,” he told them, and hurried to leave. He opened the door, then turned back. “Please, may I be excused?”

She nodded and he cast her a relieved look as he hastened out the door.

“You had no right,” Jake said. “No right at all to offer my time to those women.”

“Not to the mothers, actually,” she said. “To their children.” She bit at her lip. “I said that Catherine and Toby could come by tomorrow after school and see your piano.” She met his gaze and realized that she was pleading for his cooperation. “They were thrilled, Jake. Neither of them has ever seen a grand piano like the one you have hidden in the parlor. They’ve only heard about your work, and they’re both—”

“No. A thousand times no Alicia,” he said sharply. “I can’t make it any more clear to you without raising the roof and having a battle royal. I’d like to avoid that.”

She shrugged, as if it was of little matter to her. The dishes kept her occupied, and she used the diversion
to its fullest extent, her thoughts filled with guilt. She’d tried to manipulate him, and it was too soon. Yet, she couldn’t begin any other way. It just wasn’t in her to dissemble.