Redemption is Here (An FBI/Romance Thriller Book 9) (42 page)

Like she’d found something
that was missing from her life.

With eager fingers, he tugged the panties
down her hips to set her free. Then, he began exploring. The woman beneath him was wet, warm, and ready for him. Frenetically, he dove in, driving her wild with his mouth.

“Tony!” she gasped, as
he pushed her closer to the edge.

When she trembled for him, Tony knew
that she was close. With a single stroke, he pushed her over.

Y
et, it wasn’t enough.

Moving up her
torso, he took his place between her legs. It was hard to wait, so Tony didn't. Sliding into Jaxon, he buried himself in her body.

It was amazing.

Wonderful.

He was home.

Jaxon moaned, arching into him as he filled her. Wrapping her legs around Tony’s hips, she couldn’t wait for what was to come. All she wanted was for them to fall together.

When she opened her eyes, he took that as his sign. It was time to consummate their relationship.

Tony tried to keep a slow pace, but it was too damn hard. Here, there was a sexy woman beneath him, and he didn't have to be anyone but himself.

“You’re amazing, Jax,” he whispered, gliding in and out of her body.

She couldn’t think. This was the highlight of her life. Being with Tony was beyond words. A sexy older man was making love to her, and he wanted her for longer than one night.

Life was amazing.

“Tony,” she purred, as he pushed her closer to the edge. “I’m not going to last,” she began, but before she could finish, his tempo changed. Tony shifted position and drove into her, hitting that one spot that would do her in.

Jaxon tumbled.

Tony couldn’t wait to join her. Shouting her name, he fell off the edge with the woman beneath him.

The lights exploded around them, and then there was calm as they slid back up through the haze of pleasure.

Pushing off her body, he rolled to the side. Only, he didn't move alone. Jaxon went with him, resting her head on his shoulder. Gently, she made swirling circles through his chest hair.

“You’re quiet. What are you thinking about?” he asked nervously.

“That I never knew what I was missing.”

“Huh?” he asked, a little confused.

Jaxon went up on her elbow to stare into his aqua eyes. “I didn't know what I was missing being a girlfriend. It is pretty amazing.”

Despite his fear, he smiled.

Yeah, it was perfect, but Tony had to wonder how long would it last…

~ Chapter Eleven ~

In all honesty, he didn't know how the hell he got back to Damascus. The three hour drive was a blur to him. Randomly, he was pulled from his thoughts by a text or the ringing of his phone. Callen couldn’t answer them, even when he heard Elizabeth’s telltale ringtone.

By now, they knew the truth.

There was no doubt in his mind that Dean Quinlan had found Elizabeth the second he left. Callen could picture the man spilling all the horrible details. Those years of hell were his deepest darkest fear, and now it was alive.

His family only knew half the truth.

Yes, he’d burned him, but he’d also molested him as a child.

For years, he buried it deep, trying to forget the shame, pain
, and horrors that he had to withstand. Timothy had known the truth. In his darkest hour, his grandfather had gone out into the night looking for him, suspecting the worst.

How he knew, Callen would never know. But Timothy had tracked him through the woods and caught him, just before he pulled the trigger.

The secret shame ate away at him for so many years. Not only had his mother’s boyfriend violated him, he’d been willing to die.

He was a coward.

A quitter.

A waste of life.

Now, the only people who ever mattered to him knew the truth. They were right now thinking about the sin he’d buried so deep.

Who in their right mind would want him now? If he couldn’t stand himself, how could the goodness in his life continue to tolerate this vileness?

Pulling into his grandfather’s driveway, he parked the Navigator. All he wanted now was to hide, and this was the only place he could feel safe. Like when he was a child, this cabin would be his sanctuary to hide.

In the morning, he’d face it all. Now, it was late
, and he needed to forget. Digging out the key, he headed in to take a shower.

From the second that
Dean Quinlan had come in contact with his arm, all he wanted was to scrub away the vile feeling of him touching his flesh. All the memories of his past rushed back, making him sick.

As he opened the door, he strode in and hit the lights. That’s when he saw her.

“Hello, Callen.”

Suddenly, he felt sick. The
re sat the woman he loved. She’d somehow managed to beat him back. Like Timothy, she knew where he’d hide and searched for him.

He couldn’t reply. The words were caught up in a knot in his chest. No matter how much he wanted to apologize
, begging her forgiveness, they wouldn’t come out. Everything in him was turning to stone.

“We need to talk, Cal.”

Still he didn't move, because he couldn’t.

Here it came.

Elizabeth could see his fear. It was clearly etched into his face, along with the pain. Her poor man was hurting, and that killed her.

“Why did you leave me?” she asked, getting up from the couch
to approach him. “One minute you were there, and the next you were gone.”

How did he tell her it was b
ecause he was a coward?

“I was scared, Callen. I couldn’t find you. Why didn't you get
me before you left?” she asked.

He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs the truth. Callen wanted to tell his best friend in the entire wo
rld that it was because he was defiled.

Damaged.

Broken.

Moving closer, she stopped in front of him. “Dean Quinlan hurt you
when you were a child, didn't he? More than just the burns on your arms.”

Oh God!

Oh God!

Oh God!

The truth was out.

Suddenly, he was going to be sick. He couldn’t hold back the bile which had been churning in his gut. Pushing past her, he made it outside to retch.

On his knees in front of his granddad’s cabin, the only refuge he’d had as a scared child, he repeatedly purged.

Elizabeth knelt beside him, placing her hand on his back as she gently rubbed it. This
was the only answer she needed. His reaction went far deeper than just a victim of physical abuse. This was the response she’d seen plenty of times from victims of a far more vicious cruelty.

Now, she understood.

As he got everything out of his body, he tried to move away from her. He struggled to get free of her hand, knowing he wasn’t worthy of her touch. He’d allowed a man to hurt him, just to survive.

He was lower than low.

Elizabeth couldn’t be shaken. She held on to him, refusing to let him go. In her mind, she knew the truth. What happened tonight would affect their lives from here on out. If she couldn’t get Callen to face this with her, there was no doubt he would run for the rest of his life.

It was decided.

Elizabeth refused to give up.

Callen was the father of her children and half of her heart. This battle was worth everything in the world. It was no different than when she fought to save Ethan.

When the vomiting stopped, she helped him to his feet. Together, they headed into the cabin. Every time Callen tried to pull free, she held on that much tighter. When the storm threatened to sweep him away, Elizabeth fought even more.

Inside
the cabin, he tried to get away from her. “You need to leave, Elizabeth,” he ordered. “You can’t be here with me!”

“Why? Because then you’ll be forced to tell me the truth?” she asked. “Because you’ll be forced to tell me he sexually abused you?”

The air in the room was sucked from his lungs.

His sweet angel knew the truth.
The only goodness in his life saw the ugliness he bore on his soul.

“I see
that he told you,” he stated, his heart crushing in on itself. “Now you know what he did to me.”

She released him. “No, Callen. Your actions told me. I didn't speak to Dean Quinlan.”

He stared at her as the tears filled his eyes. “Then how did you know?”

Her heart broke for him. “
Callen, my love, I’m part of you. I can see through it. Since I already know, let me carry it for you for a while. Let me bear it on my shoulders to give you a little peace.”

Callen stared at her.

“I still love you. Nothing you can say to me would ever change that, Callen. What he did to you was horrible, but are you going to throw away your family and let him win? After all this, are you going to let this take you down?”

He couldn’t hold it in. Dropping to his knees, he covered his face and wept. The pain flooded from him, pouring out in torrents. She’d breached that last defense
, and he couldn’t hold it back. The horrible monster of his past was stealing away his family, and Callen was helpless to stop it.

He was lost
once more.

Going to him,
Elizabeth pulled him into her arms to hold him. As he wept, she offered him solace. “It’s okay, Callen James. We’ll get through this because you’re strong. You’re my hero, and I believe in you.”

He wept harder
at her words. “I’m a coward, Lyzee. I ran again.”

She wiped his cheek with her fingertips. “You’re not a coward, Callen.
What happened to you didn't break you. You stood up and held on. This had to be a horrible burden to carry your entire life.”

She had no idea.

“The truth ate away at you, and now you have the chance to let it free. Release it, my love, and trust that I’ll keep you safe. Where Dean Quinlan stole your power back then, I’m giving you mine to use now.”

Callen was at a crossroad. If he left, he could never
return. It would mean turning his back on his children and family. This would be his defining moment in life. If he didn't trust Elizabeth with this, his family would slip through his fingers.

He had only one choice.

“At first, he’d touch me. I’d fight him and threaten to tell Charlene. I don’t know what I thought she’d do, but what was I supposed to do? She was my mother. I believed she’d help me. After all, she gave me life. There had to be some maternal instinct in there, somewhere.”

Elizabeth knew that i
f the woman was alive, she’d kick the shit out of her for what she’d done to Callen’s soul.

“Eventually, he’d hold me down. That’s when the burning would start. If I didn't let him do it, he’d
hurt me more.”

She ran her fingers over the marks on his arms.

“Each time that he raped me, I’d fight. Each time, I earned a burn as a reminder.”

Elizabeth stared down at the twenty four marks on his arms. Callen had endured a lot
, and it tore at her heart.

“I went to Charlene, and she laughed at me. She hit me so hard, I saw stars. She told me to shut up and not ruin this for her. Dean was her supplier
, and I was his payment.”

Elizabeth took it back. She didn't want to hurt Charlene, she wanted to rip her eyes out of her head, shove them down her throat
, and then kill her with her bare hands.

“On that last
night, Dean found me. I used to hide as much as possible. Most of the time, I’d hang out with Ethan at his mom’s house. I was always safe there. When I had to go home, I always knew it would be bad.”

She
reassuringly stroked his cheek.

“
At the beginning, he’d lure me out with food. I was so hungry most of the time that it would work. It was hard to go to school and watch all the kids eat and know I wouldn’t. So, I’d give in just to survive. When I’d come out, he’d hurt me.” Callen took a deep breath, unable to look her in the eyes.

“It’s okay, my love. I’m right here holding you. He’s not here, but I am.”