Reflected in You: A Crossfire Novel (32 page)

“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed, nuzzling into my hair. “It hurts to look at you.”

“Gideon. What are you doing?”

I felt his hunger pouring off him, enveloping me. His powerful frame was hard and hot, and vibrating with tension. He was aroused, his thick cock a firm pressure I couldn’t stop myself from grinding into. I wanted him. I wanted him inside me. Filling me. Completing me. I’d been so empty without him.

He took a deep shuddering breath. His fingers flexed restlessly between mine, as if he wanted to touch me elsewhere but restrained himself.

I felt the ring I’d given him digging into my flesh. I turned my head to look at it and tensed when I saw it, confused and agonized.

“Why?” I whispered. “What do you want from me? An orgasm? You want to fuck me, Gideon? Is that it? Blow your load inside me?”

His breath hissed out at having those crude words thrown back in his face. “Don’t.”

“Don’t call it what it is?” I closed my eyes. “Fine. Just do it. But don’t put that ring on and act like this is something it’s not.”

“I never take it off. I won’t.
Ever.
” His right hand released mine and he reached into his pocket. I watched as he slid the ring he’d given me back onto my finger, and then he lifted my hand to his mouth. He kissed it, then pressed his lips—quick, hard, angry—to my temple.

“Wait,” he snapped.

Then he was gone. The car began its descent. My right hand curled into a fist and I backed away from the wall, breathing hard.

Wait. For what?

Chapter 18

When I exited the elevator on the twentieth floor, I was dry-eyed and determined. Megumi buzzed me through the security doors and pushed to her feet. “Is everything all right?”

I stopped by her desk. “I have no fucking clue. That man is a total head trip.”

Her brows rose. “Keep me posted.”

“I should just write a book,” I muttered, resuming my walk back to my cubicle and wondering why in hell everyone was so interested in my dating life.

When I got to my desk, I dropped my purse in the drawer and sat down to call Cary.

“Hey,” I said, when he answered. “If you get bored—”

“If?” He snorted.

“Remember that folder of information you compiled on Gideon? Can you make me one of those on Dr. Terrence Lucas?”

“Okay. Do I know this guy?”

“No. He’s a pediatrician.”

There was a pause, then, “Are you pregnant?”

“No! Jeez. And if I were, I’d need an obstetrician.”

“Whew. All right. Spell his name for me.”

I gave Cary what he needed, then looked up Dr. Lucas’s office and made an appointment to see him. “I won’t need to fill out any new-patient paperwork,” I told the receptionist. “I just want a quick consult.”

After that, I called Vidal Records and left a message for Christopher to call me.

When Mark came back from lunch, I went over and knocked on his open door. “Hey. I need to ask for an hour in the morning for an appointment. Is it all right if I come in at ten and stay ’til six?”

“Ten to five is fine, Eva.” He looked at me carefully. “Everything okay?”

“Getting better every day.”

“Good.” He smiled. “I’m really glad to hear that.”

We dived back into work, but thoughts of Gideon weighed heavily on my mind. I kept staring at my ring, remembering what he had said when he’d first given it to me:
The Xs are me holding on to you.

Wait. For him? For him to come back to me? Why? I couldn’t understand why he’d cut me off the way he had, then expected me to take him back. Especially with Corinne in the picture.

I spent the rest of the afternoon going over the last few weeks in my mind, recalling conversations I’d had with Gideon, things he’d said or done, searching for answers. When I left the Crossfire at the end of the day, I saw the Bentley waiting out front and waved at Angus, who smiled back. I had issues with his boss, but Angus wasn’t to blame for them.

It was hot and muggy outside. Miserable. I went to the Duane Reade around the corner for a bottle of cold water to drink on the walk home and a bag of mini chocolates to enjoy once I got through my Krav Maga class. When I left the drugstore, Angus was waiting just outside the door at the curb, shadowing me. As I turned the corner back toward the Crossfire to start the trip home, I saw Gideon step out to the street with Corinne. His hand was at the small of her back, leading her toward a sleek black Mercedes sedan I recognized as one of his. She was smiling. His expression was inscrutable.

Horrified, I couldn’t move or look away. I stood there in the middle of the crowded sidewalk, my stomach twisting with grief and anger and a terrible, awful feeling of betrayal.

He looked up and saw me, freezing in place just as I had. The Latino driver I’d met the day my father arrived opened the back door and Corinne disappeared into the car. Gideon remained where he was, his gaze locked with mine.

There was no way he missed me lifting my hand and flipping him the bird.

Abruptly, I was struck by a thought.

I turned my back to Gideon and moved off to the side, digging into my purse for my phone. When I found it, I speed-dialed my mom, and when she answered, I said, “That day we went out to lunch with Megumi, you freaked out on the walk back to the Crossfire. You saw him, didn’t you? Nathan. You saw Nathan at the Crossfire.”

“Yes,” she admitted. “That’s why Richard decided it would be best to just pay him what he wanted. Nathan said he’d stay away from you as long as he had the money to leave the country. Why do you ask?”

“It didn’t hit me until just now that Nathan was the reason why you reacted the way you did.” I faced forward again and started walking quickly toward home. The Mercedes was gone, but my temper was rising. “I have to go, Mom. I’ll call you later.”

“Is everything all right?” she asked anxiously.

“Not yet, but I’m working on it.”

“I’m here for you, if you need me.”

I sighed. “I know. I’m okay. I love you.”

When I got home, Cary was sitting on the couch with his laptop on his thighs and his bare feet on the coffee table.

“Hey,” he called, his gaze still on his screen.

I dumped my stuff and kicked off my shoes. “You know what?”

He looked up at me from beneath a lock of hair that had fallen over his eyes. “What?”

“I thought Gideon took a hike because of Nathan. Everything was fine and then it wasn’t, and shortly after that the police were telling us about Nathan. I figured one thing was linked to the other.”

“Makes sense.” He frowned. “I guess.”

“But Nathan was at the Crossfire the Monday before you were attacked. I know he was there to see Gideon. I
know
it. Nathan wouldn’t go there to see me. Not a place like that with all the security and people I know around.”

He sat back. “Okay. So what does that mean?”

“It means Gideon was fine after Nathan.” I threw up my hands. “He was fine that whole week. He was more than fine that weekend we took off together. He was fine Monday morning after we got back. Then—
bam
—he lost his fucking mind and went crazy on me Monday night.”

“I’m following.”

“So what happened on Monday?”

Cary’s brows rose. “You’re asking me?”

“Grr.” I grabbed my hair in my hands. “I’m asking the fucking universe. God. Anyone. What the hell happened to my boyfriend?”

“I thought we agreed you need to ask him.”

“I get two answers from him:
Trust me
and
wait
. He gave my ring back today.” I showed him my hand. “And he’s still wearing the one I gave him. Do you have any idea how confusing that is? They’re not just rings, they’re promises. They’re symbols of ownership and commitment. Why would he still wear his? Why is it so important to him that I wear mine? Does he seriously expect me to wait while he screws Corinne out of his system?”

“Is that what you think he’s doing? Really?”

Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back. “No. And I can’t decide if that makes me naïve or willfully delusional.”

“Does this Dr. Lucas guy have anything to do with this?”

“No.” I straightened and joined him on the couch. “Did you find anything?”

“Kind of hard, baby girl, when I don’t know what I’m looking for.”

“It’s just a hunch.” I looked at his screen. “What’s that?”

“A transcript of an interview with Brett that was done yesterday on a Florida radio station.”

“Oh? What are you reading that for?”

“I was listening to ‘Golden’ and decided to run a search on it, and this came up.”

I tried reading, but my angle was bad. “What’s it say?”

“He was asked if there’s really an Eva out there and he said yes, there is, and he recently reconnected with her and hopes to make it work out a second time.”

“What? No way!”

“Yes way.” Cary grinned. “So you’ve got your rebound man lined up if Cross doesn’t get his shit together.”

I pushed to my feet. “Whatever. I’m hungry. Want something?”

“If your appetite’s back, that’s a good sign.”

“Everything’s coming back,” I told him. “With a vengeance.”

* * *

I was waiting at the curb for Angus the next morning. He pulled up and Paul, the doorman for my apartment building, opened the back door for me.

“Good morning, Angus,” I greeted him.

“Good morning, Miss Tramell.” His gaze met mine in the rearview mirror, and he smiled.

As he started to pull away, I leaned forward between the two front seats. “Do you know where Corinne Giroux lives?”

He glanced at me. “Yes.”

I sat back. “That’s where I want to go.”

* * *

Corinne lived around the corner from Gideon. I was certain that wasn’t a coincidence.

I checked in with the front desk and waited twenty minutes before I was given permission to go up to the tenth floor. I rang the bell to her apartment and the door swung open to reveal a flushed and disheveled Corinne in a floor-length black silk robe. She was seriously gorgeous, with her silky black hair and eyes like aquamarines, and she moved with a lithe grace I admired. I’d armored up in my favorite gray sleeveless dress and was very glad I had. She made me feel downright homely.

“Eva,” she said breathlessly. “What a surprise.”

“I’m sorry to barge in uninvited. I just need to ask you something real quick.”

“Oh?” She kept the door partially closed and leaned into the jamb.

“Can I come in?” I asked tightly.

“Uh.” She glanced over her shoulder. “It’s best if you didn’t.”

“It doesn’t bother me if you have company and I promise, this won’t take but a minute.”

“Eva.” She licked her lips. “How do I say this . . . ?”

My hands were shaking and my stomach was a quivering mess, my brain taunting me with images of Gideon standing naked behind her, their early-morning fuck interrupted by the ex-girlfriend who wouldn’t get a clue. I knew how well he liked sex in the morning.

But then I knew him well, period. Knew him enough to say, “Cut the shit, Corinne.”

Her eyes widened.

My mouth curved derisively. “Gideon’s in love with me. He’s not fucking around with you.”

She recovered quickly. “He’s not fucking around with you, either. I would know, since he’s spending all of his free time with me.”

Fine. We’d talk about this in the hallway. “I know him. I don’t always understand him, but that’s a different story. I know he would’ve told you upfront that you and he weren’t going anywhere, because he wouldn’t want to lead you on. He hurt you before; he won’t do it again.”

“This is all very fascinating. Does he know you’re here?”

“No, but you’ll tell him. And that’s fine. I just want to know what you were doing at the Crossfire that day you came out looking as freshly fucked as you do now.”

Her smile was razor sharp. “What do you
think
I was doing?”

“Not Gideon,” I said decisively, even though I was silently praying that I wasn’t making a total idiot out of myself. “You saw me, didn’t you? From the lobby, you had a direct view across the street and you saw me coming. Gideon told you at the Waldorf dinner that I was the jealous type. Did you have a nooner with someone from one of the other offices? Or did you muss yourself up before you stepped outside?”

I saw the answer on her face. It was lightning quick, there and gone, but I saw it.

“Both of those suggestions are absurd,” she said.

I nodded, savoring a moment of profound relief and satisfaction. “Listen. You’re never going to have him the way you want. And I know how that hurts. I’ve been living it the past two weeks. I’m sorry for you, I really am.”

“Fuck you and your pity,” she snapped. “Save it for yourself. I’m the one he’s spending time with.”

“And there’s your saving grace, Corinne. If you’re paying attention, you know he’s hurting right now. Be his friend.” I headed back to the elevators and called over my shoulder, “Have a nice day.”

She slammed her door shut behind me.

When I got back to the Bentley, I told Angus to take me to Dr. Terrence Lucas’s office. He paused in the act of closing the door and stared down at me. “Gideon will be very angry, Eva.”

I nodded, understanding the warning. “I’ll deal with it when the time comes.”

The building that housed Dr. Lucas’s private practice was unassuming, but his offices were warm and inviting. The waiting room was paneled in dark wood and the walls covered in a mixture of pictures of infants and children. Parenting magazines covered the tables and were neatly stored in racks, while the dedicated play area was tidy and supervised.

I signed in and took a seat, but I’d barely sat when I was called back by the nurse. I was taken to Dr. Lucas’s office, not an exam room, and he rose from his chair when I entered, rounding the desk quickly.

“Eva.” He held out his hand and I shook it. “You didn’t have to make an appointment.”

I managed a smile. “I didn’t know how else to reach you.”

“Have a seat.”

I sat, but he remained standing, choosing to lean back against the desk and grip the edges with both hands. It was a power position, and I wondered why he felt the need to use it with me.

“What can I do for you?” he asked. He had a calm, confident air and a wide, open smile. With his good looks and affable manner, I was sure any mother would have confidence in his skill and integrity.