Regret List (9 page)

“Hey,” he called. “Where’s everyone else?”

Matt rolled his eyes. “Have we got a story for you.”
He glanced at me and grimaced. “You have quite the pair of friends,
you know.”

“Something tells me I’m not going to like this
story,” Jason laughed. “Where’s Patrick? Isn’t he riding with
us?”

I saw Sammy and Kandice further down the line of cars
and I gave Jason’s arm a quick squeeze. “I’ll text you later.” He
nodded, scanning the area for Patrick and I dashed off. Never one
for fashion, I was especially thankful then for the sneakers on my
feet. I wasn’t envious of all the girls teetering to their cars in
high heels. “We ready to go?” I slipped between my friends.

“If we can ever find Grace,” Kandice snapped. “God,
who does she think she is? My mom’s going to be waiting in the car
for ages because she takes her dear sweet time to get out
here.”

I shared a glance with Sammy, certain I would hear
the whole story later behind her foul mood. I scanned the night for
Grace, wishing she had chosen something a little brighter than a
black dress. “There!” I shouted, seeing someone move in the shadows
of the school. I wasn’t positive, but it looked the right height
and shape for Grace.

Something else moved in the shadows, larger than her
and Sammy nodded. “Yup, there’s Patrick. Grace! Over here!” She
waved her arms at the shadows and the larger shadow broke away,
moving toward the line of cars. The smaller one moved slower, but
as she stepped closer, the streetlights illuminated her face and
for a second, I thought we had been mistaken. There was something
way different about her face, the way she moved. I was about to
laugh and apologize, but then realized it really was Grace. Her
face was around a thousand years older and I wasn’t positive, but
she looked like she had been crying.

Kandice didn’t seem to notice, though. “Come on!” she
grabbed Grace’s wrist and hustled us all toward the waiting cars.
“My mom’s going to freak if we take any longer.” I heard her
cellphone go off in her purse, but she ignored it, hauling open the
car door of one of the waiting cars. “Mom, I am
right
here.
Seriously, stop calling.” We all piled into the car as Kandice and
her mom got into a yelling match about when she was supposed to
meet us and why it had taken us so long to get to the car. Grace
slunk further down in her seat, leaning her forehead against the
car window.

“You okay?” I whispered. She shrugged and inched her
body farther away from mine. When we finally pulled up at my house,
I clambered out of the car as quickly as possible, breathing a huge
sigh of relief when they pulled away. What a weird night.

As usual, my mom wasn’t home, so I sprawled out in my
bedroom and decided to read Asher’s latest installment in the
notebook while I waited for the phone call or text messages that
were sure to arrive soon from the girls. With all the drama that
had apparently happened during the night, I was expecting to hear
something before the hour was up. I shed my dress on the floor and
clambered into bed in just my underwear, burrowing under my quilt.
But when I opened the notebook, I frowned. Something was odd about
the latest bit Asher had written. His handwriting was looser,
hurried. And as I began reading, it just got weirder.

So, remember what we had agreed on? It was supposed
to be about a boy and a girl, fighting against each other on
opposite sides of a war. I flipped through the notes at the
beginning of the notebook, reading over the major plot points.
Technically, he had followed the rules; he had written from the
boy’s point of view as he infiltrated the castle where the wizard
and girl lived. But instead of a fight breaking out – no holds
barred – the boy came across the sleeping form of the girl and
couldn’t get over how peaceful, how innocent she looked. When she
awoke with a start and attacked him, he let himself be captured
rather than kill her.

It was kind of stupid and sappy, but I was intrigued.
Picking up a pen from my nightstand, I allowed the girl to enter
the waltz of unexpected feelings. She didn’t really like him yet,
not by a long shot, but she was transfixed by his actions. Why did
he let himself be captured, just standing there, offering no
resistance? She still considered him a prisoner rather than a
friend, but that little sliver of uncertainty opened up in her
heart.

I was scrawling down the words, totally absorbed in
the story, when my phone vibrated on the nightstand. Without
looking away from the notebook, I fumbled blindly across the
nightstand and grabbed the phone, holding it out in front of me. It
was Sammy.

“Hi,” I answered. “So what’s going on?”

“Hi Paige, so you know that guy Kandice mentioned?
The one she met online?”

I thought for a moment, my head still somewhere else.
“Oh right. She mentioned him on the first day of school. She was
texting pictures to him or something over the summer?”

“That’s the one,” she giggled. “Well, do you also
remember what she told you when we thought you were seeing two boys
at once?”

I gasped, pushing the notebook away. “She told me it
was okay, but not to let Jason find out!”

“Well guess who borrowed Kandice’s phone at the dance
and found some uh, revealing texts and pictures on it?”

“Oh boy. Matt. Why did she let him borrow it? Why was
she even still texting this online guy? Did you know about
this?”

“Not until just tonight!” she insisted. “I don’t know
why she was still texting him, but I guess he’s a college student
nearby. Matt didn’t exactly borrow it with her permission. She kept
checking her phone all night and texting a bunch, so Matt and
Robert finally grabbed it away from her to see what she was
doing.”

“What was she texting?” I asked in a hushed
voice.

Sammy giggled again. “Oh you know, sexy stuff. Things
they want to do to each other.”

“And there were pictures?”

“Yup. Nothing naked, but she was pretty scantily
clad. You can’t tell her I told you about this, though. I was
supposed to come up with some other reason, but I couldn’t really
think of anything good. Plus, this is just so juicy!”

“Isn’t this guy kind of old, though?”

“I think he’s only 18 or 19. He’s only a
freshman.”

“Still!” I protested. “That’s pretty old.”

She paused and I knew she was shrugging. “Well
anyway, you have to break up with Jason.”

“What?” I nearly dropped the phone. “I’m not breaking
up with him! Why would I do that?”

“Hey, I broke up with Robert! Kandice doesn’t want us
all going out with the guys except for her. She’d be left out of
everything. The group match-up is over. You’ve got to call him and
break up. He probably already knows about what happened. He’ll
understand.”

“But…no. I’m not going to break up just because
Kandice is an idiot. Is Grace breaking up with Patrick?” At least
this was a way for her to get untangled from the mess.

“Don’t know. I haven’t been able to reach her yet.
She’s not answering her phone.”

I sighed. “Well, I’m going to keep seeing Jason, so
I’ll just deal with Kandice later. I’ll see you on Monday,
okay?”

“Okay. See you later.”

I hung up and stretched out on my bed, but the phone
instantly buzzed in my hand again. “Now what?” I grumbled, but it
was only a text. Smiling, I opened it to find it was from Jason.
Had a fun time w u. Dont worry bout the others. Im not. C u
monday.

With a smile still playing on my lips, I replied,
It’s a deal.
Shutting off my phone, I heard the front door
open and close, signaling my mom’s return. I flipped off my light
and set my glasses on the nightstand, settling in under the
blankets. I hoped she wouldn’t come up to ask me how the dance was.
I heard her walk into my room, but she only sighed as she picked my
dress up off the floor and hung it in the closet.

As I drifted off to sleep, I realized I hadn’t moved
the notebook. Feeling around, I found its hard edge sticking out
from under my pillow and I fell asleep holding it, dreaming of a
strange boy sneaking in through the window to watch over and
protect me.

When I blearily opened my eyes the next morning, I
screamed. Something large and blurry was hovering over me, reaching
for my throat. Flailing wildly, I tried to untangle myself from the
blankets fast enough to defend myself.

“Whoa!” the blob called out, jumping backwards.
“Chill!”

“Asher?” I jammed my glasses on my face and the room
came into focus. “What the heck are you
doing
?”

“The notebook.” He gestured toward me. “I needed
it.”

“Who let you in?” I looked around for the notebook
and suddenly realized my worst nightmare was coming true. Even
worse than when I thought I was about to be strangled. “Asher,” I
choked on the words. “Get out!” Gathering my blankets around me, I
tried to hide the fact that I was clothed only in my underwear.

“But I want-“

I threw the notebook at him and he grinned. “Cute
bra, Paige. I’ll be outside.”

I screamed in frustration as he dashed out of the
room, slamming my door behind him before I could pelt him with
anything else. “Stupid jerk!” I yelled through the door, quickly
getting dressed.

“Relax!” he hollered back, his voice growing distant
as he headed outside. “I’ve seen you naked before!”

Praying that my mom wasn’t home, I slipped on my
flip-flops and hurried after him. To my relief, my mom’s car was
absent from the driveway and I paused for a moment to read a note
on the table saying she was out grocery shopping. It was true, you
know, he had seen me naked before, but it was a long, long time
ago. I didn’t even think he still remembered it.

See, back when we were much younger, probably only
eight years old, we once found ourselves standing side-by-side on
the roof of Asher’s shed, hidden in the side yard where no one
would stumble across us. We had been reading about flight in school
and I
know
you’re thinking that no kid is that stupid, but
well, some of us really are. I can’t remember whose idea it was,
but I have a sneaking suspicion that it might have been mine.

Sometimes, when I feel the first breeze of spring
against my cheek or notice a day with absolutely no clouds in the
sky, I remember what it was like up on that roof. It couldn’t have
been that far to the ground, but to us, it seemed impossibly far
down. There was a huge pile of old, outgrown toys leaning up
against the other side of the shed that we had used to clamber up,
only to stand at the edge of the roof and stare off into the
distance. That feeling of unshakeable faith in my own abilities is
far gone now, but occasionally, I can almost remember what it was
like.

A hummingbird hovered nearby, flitting back and
forth, probably trying to figure out what in the world we were up
to. Eventually, it must have decided that it wanted nothing to do
with our antics and disappeared from view. Asher looked down at the
ground. “I don’t know about this, Paige.”

I shook my head, still staring at the horizon. “Don’t
be silly. This’ll work.” We each held a pair of wings made of
cardboard and duct tape. I took another step toward the edge,
feeling the corner with my foot. “Watch and see, I’ll show you.” I
launched myself into the air, spreading my arms out, feeling the
wind rushing through my hair. With my eyes set on a far-off dead
tree, rising far above the rest, I soared through the air…for a
good half second. I felt the weight of reality come crashing down
on my little body, sending me hurtling into a pile of firewood at
the base of the shed.

“You okay?” Asher hollered, racing around the back of
the shed, down the pile of toys to come to my aid.

I shook my head, trying to clear the buzzing from my
ears. My sense of innocence and the crushed wings were really the
only things injured, but then I felt something sting my leg.
“Ouch,” I mumbled, smacking at my leg and trying to climb my way
out of the wood pile. The feeling happened again, on my other leg
and with a sense of panic, I realized the buzzing wasn’t in my
head. “Asher!” I screamed, tearing out of the pile, away from the
swarm of wasps.

He was already there, desperately trying to bat the
insects off. I could feel them under my clothes, crawling on my
stomach, on the back of my neck, up my legs, and I clawed wildly at
my clothes, trying to get them off. Our shouts must have alerted
his dad because he joined the fray, spraying us down with a hose to
wash the wasps off our bodies. “Run!” he yelled, dropping the hose
and scooping us both up in his arms. I was completely naked by that
point and Asher was halfway there. His dad dumped us inside the
house, slamming the door shut behind us. “You alright?” he asked
us, checking Asher over for stray wasps. I nodded, wrapping my arms
around myself. “What were you two doing out there?”

I dissolved into a sobbing mess and he just shook his
head, heading up to Asher’s room to get me something else to wear
temporarily. All in all, we made out pretty well. I was only stung
five times and Asher only three times. Looking back on it, I’m sure
it was a pretty small nest. I don’t mind bees and wasps now, but
that hum that comes from their nest…it still gives me goose
bumps.

With a small grin as I remembered that day, I chased
after Asher who had run outside with the notebook. “You can’t just
go barging into people’s homes like that!” He was already on his
bike and circling around the driveway.

“Maybe you should lock your door, then. Besides, you
come barging into my house all the time.” He smirked and tried to
pull the front up to do a wheelie, but nearly lost control of the
bike.

I rolled my eyes. “You are such a doofus. So are you
keeping the notebook for the rest of the weekend, then?”