Remembering Us (25 page)

“I saw it,” I gasp, still trying to catch my breath and erase the flood of memories that simply won’t stop.

“I figured. We need to get you home.”

I squeeze her hand, not saying anything. I focus on the steps on the narrow lane, and for the forty-five minute trip back to my apartment, I sit in her Camry, shaking, and remembering everything.

“I’m really sorry about dinner tonight. I didn’t think it would be that bad.”

Adam wraps his arm around me and pulls me to him, dropping a soft kiss on my temple.

I shrug. “Okay, so I knew it was going to be really bad. But God,” I drop my head into my hands that are propped on the table at Martino’s. “My mom is such a bitch. I’m so sorry I subjected you to her line of bullshit.”

Adam’s warm hand rubs my back and he leans in, pressing a quick kiss against the skin on my neck. “I don’t give a shit what your mom says about me, Amy. We both knew she wasn’t going to like me and it’s not like we tried to impress her or anything tonight.”

I shake my head and start laughing. I can’t help it.

What in the hell was I thinking, showing up for Thanksgiving dinner with my entire family, bringing Adam for the first time, and we’re both wearing jeans? And me in a faded grey vintage looking t-shirt from an indie rock band we went and saw last week. I’m lucky my mom’s head didn’t explode all over the Thanksgiving turkey.

“I totally screwed this up,” I groan.

I should have known that breaking out from my parent’s protective and obsessive watch would blow up in my face.

“What do you want me to do? Because I’ll do it. We can go find a suit and then dress you up like their little doll if you want to head back and salvage this dinner. I don’t really care, I just want you to be happy.”

I shake my head. “They have to accept it at some time. Might as well be today.”

“Okay … so what do you want?”

I lean back in the booth, my head resting the top of the leather padded seats and my eyes catch sight of my favorite wind chime. They’re butterflies. Silver and so frail it amazes me that they haven’t broken yet. It seems like just the smallest gust of air would splinter the frail wires.

“I want to be free.”

Adam reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly. His other thumb brushes away the tears running slowly down my cheeks. His touch is protective and loving, just like always.

“Then that’s what you’ll be.”

“What in the hell was that shit?”

Adam’s booming voice makes me pause in the parking lot. My heart is still beating out of control. I think I might stroke.

I feel Brendan tug on my hand toward his truck, but I stop.

What am I doing? Even if Adam just made out with Britnee, Brendan is the biggest douche in the entire world.

Adam makes me lose my mind. I no longer know if this is a good thing or the worst possible thing to happen in the entire world.

My precise life, neatly organized into its perfect little boxes, shattered the moment Adam’s lips first met mine.

“Stop! Damn it, Amy!” His hand grabs mine, pulling me so tightly that my hand is ripped out of Brendan’s grasp.

“Hey,” he protests. Adam levels him with a look.

“Go back to your date, Whitaker.”

Brendan puffs out his chest. Oh shit, a pissing contest. Fabulous. Just what turns me on.

I put my hand on Brendan’s chest, stopping him from moving. “I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry. But there’s no way in hell I’m going home with you.”

He shrugs and gives me a lopsided, cocky smile. Damn. I really do hate him. “It’s not like you’d be that good anyway. Everyone at the house knows you’re just a lame piece of pussy-”

The next thing I know, Brendan’s head flies back and he’s on his back on the parking lot, holding his nose, covered in blood and moaning.

“Say it again, you fucker!” Adam yells, bending over him, his breath panting.

“Adam.” I reach out for his hand. Maybe he’s just as insane with the thought of someone touching me as I am about someone – Britnee especially – getting their hands on him. We’re such a wreck.

But it’s the most glorious wreck I’ve ever seen.

He looks at me, his hands fisting and releasing.

“You were seriously going to go home and fuck him? Just because Britnee threw herself at me?”

I run my hands through my hair, disgusted this night that was going to be so perfect has taken such a shit-tastic turn.

“I don’t know! I was just … pissed! I planned on us being together, and you’re you – and I’m me – and I saw Britnee’s hands all over you and I just freaked out!” My hands wave madly in the air. I feel like a lunatic, and I’m sure I don’t look sane.

“I’m me and you’re you? What does that mean?” He takes a step over Brendan. Adam’s foot pushes him back to the ground and he moans again. Then Adam takes my hand and pulls me away.

“You’re … magnificent,” I mutter, and blush heatedly. Thank god it’s dark out here and he can’t see me. “From what I hear anyway. And I couldn’t …” I pull my eyes to him, letting him see my vulnerability for the first time. “I couldn’t even keep Tyler happy.”

Adam laughs. He laughs so hard that I start to get pissed.

“Hey!”I yell, slapping him against his chest.

“You are such a girl. This is about sex? You’re freaking out because you think you won’t be good in bed?”

I bite my lip and look away.

Adam laughs harder. He’s not helping my ego. I open my mouth to tell him, but I don’t get a word out.

His mouth hits mine, his hands cup my cheeks, and I gasp into his mouth. His body molds to mine, and he walks me backward until I bump into a car. It’s not his, and I don’t care if the owner sees us defiling it. Adam’s lips on mine erase every thought, every insecurity, I’ve ever had.

“We’re going. Now. And we’re going to the Lux, and I’m going to prove to you exactly how happy you’ll make me.”

He tugs my hand again, leading me like he always does, muttering under his breath. “All this dramatic shit for no reason. I swear to God, Amy. If you don’t know how fucking crazy I am about you after tonight then I’m spending the rest of the weekend proving it to you.”

I gulp. An entire weekend of sex with Adam? He might break me.

“What is this?” Adam asks, a smile on his face from ear to ear.

I blush. I look at him, waving my photos in the air. “It’s my box.”

He laughs that laugh that heats my insides. “I thought you were unpacking the apartment today.”

I look around our room in our tiny little apartment. I love it. It’s my favorite place in the world, even if it is a disaster. Boxes are opened in every available space and we have yet to set the beds up. We still haven’t bought furniture, but we’re supposed to go tonight.

“I got side-tracked,” I tell him, and give him a kiss when he leans closer, still grinning. “Look at these.”

I show him the photo of the day his frat house had a car wash in a grocery store parking lot in downtown Denver. Adam laughs into my neck when he sees the photo of him and me wearing matching bikinis.

All the guys wore bikinis that day for extra attention. Kelsey and I helped pick out bikinis for Zander and Adam, and then later, we went back and bought matching ones in our sizes.

Adam’s cradling me in his arms and we’re both soaking wet. It was right after Kelsey hosed me down with the water and I almost slipped on the pavement.

“I love you,” I tell him, and kiss him again. His lips press harder against me, his hand brushes down the side of my cheek and he leans me back onto the floor, climbing on top of me.

“I will love you forever.”

“You better. Not like you can get better.” My laugh turns into a gasp as soon as Adam leans down, nips at my collar bone and rocks his pelvis into me.

“Amy?” Kelsey’s voice cuts through the haze, and I open my eyes. We’re sitting in my apartment building parking lot.

I suddenly don’t want to go in, knowing it’s empty and knowing the reason is because Adam didn’t trust me to not run from him when I heard what his dad did to his mom. Shame fills me and it might be unwarranted, but I have to make this right.

“I called Zander,” Kelsey says, and unbuckles. “I told him I plan on staying here tonight. You don’t need to be alone right now.”

I nod and then frown. I was so out of it I didn’t even hear her on the phone in the car? I blow out a breath, overwhelmed, and get out of the car.

She follows me into the apartment, and once inside, I head directly to my closet. The one Adam and I shared.

I hear Kelsey’s footsteps following me. I don’t stop to look at her. I feel possessed. On a mission to see the truth confirmed. How happy Adam and I were. How much he loved me.

How much I loved him.

I dig through the closet, laughing silently that empty shoeboxes cover the floor and are stacked four boxes high.

When I find the one I saw in my memory, I pull it out, sinking down to my knees, resting my butt on my heels. My fingers hover over the top.

Kelsey puts a hand on my thigh and nudges her shoulder into mine. “Open it.”

I turn to her and give her a shaky smile. She nods and I do what she said.

I gasp.

Inside, the box is jammed packed with hundreds, if not thousands, of photos.

But the sheer enormity of my obsession of printing out photos in the day of digital technology doesn’t faze me.

The pale blue box sitting right on top does.

My hands fly to my mouth as if I am seeing him ask me again for the very first time. Tears drip down my cheeks and I feel Kelsey’s arms wrap around me.

“You remember,” she says softly. Happily.

“Everything.” I sniff and reach out for the box. I hold it. Wanting to open it but nervous. It’s not mine to have yet, not until Adam gives it to me. I bite the edge of my bottom lip, wiping my eyes, and smile at Kelsey.