Renegade (The Captive Series Book 2) (7 page)

She didn’t know what to say to him,
what to do. She didn’t know what he wanted from her. She started to
shake again; she was trying not to start crying once more as she
recalled the fierce, wonderful intensity of his kiss. For one brief
moment she had felt whole, and alive, again. For one wonderful
moment all of the pain of the past months had vanished beneath his
touch. All of her hurt and the anger had melted beneath the wonder
of his mouth against hers. She had tried to forget how amazing he
could make her feel, she had remembered in an instant. And she was
fairly certain that she would never be able to forget
again.

“When did Jericho tell you about
Gwendolyn?”

Her fingers froze in her hair; she
turned slowly toward him, admiring the play of light over his hard
features. “Gwendolyn?” she asked quietly, baffled by his question,
and the name.

“The woman I am supposed to
marry.”

“Oh.” Her eyes widened, her fingers
slipped from her hair as the numbness returned in full force. She
had forgotten about that little detail, that huge, awful betrayal.
For a moment she couldn’t breathe through the pain and anger that
constricted her chest, through the knife that stabbed deep into her
heart, destroying it. Her fingers clenched tightly in her lap, her
nails dug into her palms. If she thought she had any chance of
succeeding she might just punch him, but she had already managed to
hit him once, in the palace, she didn’t think she would get the
chance again. “I didn’t know that was her name.”

His head tilted slightly to the side,
he had slipped the dark glasses off, revealing the full beauty of
his steel gray eyes, and the bright blue band that encircled his
irises. It was so rare when they weren’t in place, so rare when he
relaxed his guard enough to take them off. She could see the faint
hint of the scars that marred his striking eyes. Scars that served
as a reminder that no matter how stunning his eyes were, they were
flawed, and unseeing around everyone but her. “When
Arianna?”

She turned sharply away from him,
unable to look at him any longer. It hurt too much. “The morning he
came to get me.”

“Why did he tell you?”

She spun angrily back on him, her eyes
narrowing fiercely as she fought the urge to punch him. “What
difference does that make?” she spat.

He stared silently back at her. “I want
to know, that’s the difference.”

“And I want peace, but we don’t always
get what we want.”

His eyes narrowed, he leaned forward as
he glared at her. “I had forgotten how annoying you
were.”

She glowered back at him, struggling
against the tears that wanted to flow. “Then perhaps you should let
me go.”

His hard mouth curved into a wry smile
as he shook his head. “That is not going to happen Arianna. Answer
my question.”

She shook her head, baffled as to why
she was here and what he wanted from her. Did he just like to
torture her by making her rehash the agony she had lived with ever
since she had learned of his fiancée? She stared at the fire,
watching as it snapped and crackled, shooting out sparks. She
didn’t want to tell him why Jack had told her about his fiancée,
she didn’t want him to know just how much she had cared about him
back then. He had enough power and control over her, without giving
him even more.

But she no longer cared for him like
that; she couldn’t care about him like that anymore she reminded
herself. She had been dumb and innocent back then. She would never
be either of those things again. Not when it came to him. She
turned slowly back to him, meeting his intense gaze. It didn’t
matter if he knew why Jack had told her, he had no hold over her
anymore.

“Because I didn’t want to leave,” she
finally admitted. His eyes widened slightly, she saw the shock that
rocked through him. “I was foolish enough to think that I wanted to
stay, with you, no matter what the consequences of that action
might be. Jack simply informed me of what an idiot I
was.”

“Arianna…”

She launched to her feet, unable to sit
still anymore, unable to listen to him. There was a clawing
sensation growing inside of her, a desperate need to be free, a
desperate need to escape this whole awful situation. She paced away
from the fire, stopping before the window to stare out at the
forest. They were far from the caves, in an area she didn’t know as
it was close to civilization. It was an area of the woods she did
not travel to, it wasn’t safe here. Her fingers pressed against the
glass, the sun was out now, her family and friends would be worried
about her. They would be looking for her. She needed to get back to
them; she needed to get away from him.

“You wanted to stay within the
palace?”

“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. She
pressed her forehead briefly to the glass as she inhaled the fresh
air seeping through the edges of the pane. “It’s the past, it can’t
be changed. It’s over.”

She didn’t hear him move, but that was
not a surprise. It was rare to actually hear his approach. His
hands were upon her shoulders, he held her briefly for a moment
before turning her slowly away from the window. When she refused to
look at him he seized gently hold of her chin and lifted it so that
she had to meet his hard gaze. “I should have told you about her,
but I didn’t know. I didn’t expect…”

“Expect what?” she inquired when he
broke off.

He shook his head, bending to place a
soft kiss upon her mouth. “Why did you want to stay?” he inquired,
his hands clasping gently hold of her face.

She tried to pull away from him, but he
held her tighter. He moved closer to her, his chest brushing
against hers. His body was slightly colder than hers; the force of
his presence was overwhelming. She could hardly breathe through the
combination of excitement and trepidation pounding through her. She
couldn’t let herself get carried away here; she couldn’t allow
herself to hope that this might end differently than it had before.
Things could never change between them; they were from completely
different worlds. They were from completely different species
even.

“What difference does it make?” she
asked quietly.

He moved even closer, his lips were
just centimeters from hers. He was the most irresistible man she
had ever met, even as she tried to fight it, she could feel her
body reacting to his, swaying even closer. “Because I want to know
why you weren’t going to leave, I need to know why you were going
to stay Arianna.”

“It makes no difference,
prince.”

“Braith.”

“What?”

“I told you once before to call me
Braith, not prince.”

Arianna sighed softly as she lowered
her eyes. Yes, he had told her that before, but ever since she had
fled the palace she had started to refer to him as the prince
again. It helped her to distance herself from him, something that
she desperately needed to do in order to survive the hurt that
clung to her. He may want her to stop calling him prince now, but
she wasn’t sure she could. Doing so would mean allowing him back
into her heart and she couldn’t do that.

She couldn’t be hurt like that again;
she didn’t think she could survive it a second time.

“Arianna, tell me why you wanted to
stay.”

“No!” her voice was sharper than she
had intended. She was ashamed to admit that even she could hear the
panic and fear in it. “No! You don’t always get what you want. Why
can’t you just let this be? Just leave me be! Why did you come
here!? Why did you hunt me down after all this time? How did you
even find me? I was just beginning to move on and you had to show
up and destroy it all again! Destroy me again.”

She tried to put on a brave front,
tried to straighten her shoulders, and raise her chin, but she
could feel her lip trembling. It didn’t help that sadness filled
his features; that a look of loss shimmered in his startling eyes.
She wanted to scream in frustration. It was all so unfair. She
wanted to move on; she wanted to start a new life. She wanted to
attempt to regain some semblance of the life she’d had before he
had entered it. But he had shown up again and sharply reminded her
of the fact that the only life she truly wanted was a life with
him.

It was also the only life she could
never have.

“Arianna…”

She tore her gaze away from his, trying
hard not to cry again. “Please Braith.” She was hoping that the use
of his name would earn her some reprieve. It did not.

He kissed her forehead, her nose
gently. Aria shuddered, trying hard not to melt against him, trying
hard not to give into everyone of her desires and just throw aside
all of her hurt, and anger. She couldn’t though; she could not
survive this a second time. But as his lips brushed gently over
hers, she felt herself leaning into him. Felt herself seeking the
gentle caress of his mouth and hands. She hated herself for her
weakness, but there was something about him, something that she
could not resist no matter how hard she tried.

His fingers wound into her hair, he
pulled her closer to him as his tongue stroked lightly over her
lips. Aria was shaking, trembling, unable to put up any fight
against his soft kisses and caressing hands. It was when his hands
rubbed gently over the healing wound on her neck, that she finally
came back to herself a little. She tried to pull away from him, but
his hand enclosed on her shoulder. Ever so gently, he pulled her
tattered shirt down a little, revealing the marks upon her. A
shiver ran through her as he traced his fingers lightly over
it.

She was suddenly flooded with memories
of that night, of him upon her, feeding from her, nourishing his
body with hers. She had been so enthralled, so unbelievably lost to
him, and the joy that had suffused her as he had drained her body
of its blood. As he had used her life force to nurture his own. She
had never wanted the moment to end, but that was before she knew
everything, before she had seen the raid on the caves, before she
learned he was promised to another. Another that he probably
loved.

Aria pulled her collar away from him,
covering the wound back up. There would be no repeat of that night
now. She could not allow herself to be lost like that again, no
matter how badly she wanted to be. “I loved you,” she
whispered.

“Excuse me?” he asked in
surprise.

“I wanted to stay in the palace because
I loved you. I told Jack to leave me there, because I didn’t care
what happened, what would become of me, I wanted to stay with you.
I loved you so much that I had no thought of my own safety, my own
life, when it came to you.”

“Arianna…”

“And then Jack told me the truth.” She
continued as if he had never spoken, because if she didn’t get this
all out now, she never would. If she didn’t get it all out, then
she would lose herself to him again. It would destroy her this
time. “And then my love didn’t matter anymore, nothing mattered. I
didn’t even matter. I was so hurt, so angry, so lost and confused
and scared. I know you never promised me anything, I know there
never could have been anything between us, not in the end, but I
never would have allowed it to get that far if I had known the
truth. If I had known that you loved someone else, that you were
going to marry her, I never would have allowed that night to
happpen. Never. You almost destroyed me with your lies and deceit.
I will never allow that to happen again!”

He stood immobile for a moment, and
then he seized hold of her chin, squeezing it gently. She glared at
him, feeling sullen and disagreeable as she folded her arms over
her chest. It was childish, she knew that, but she couldn’t bring
herself to be completely mature at this point. The past two months
had been nothing but confusing, frightening, and so unbelievably
hard that she felt she deserved some childish behavior right
now.

And then he had reappeared and thrown a
giant wrench into all of the hard work it had taken to try and
piece herself together again.

“I didn’t know Arianna.”

“I don’t care!” she
retorted.

He rubbed his thumb lightly over her
bottom lip. “I knew you loved me that night, you told me so, but
what I didn’t fully understand was how I had come to feel about
you.”

She stared at him for a long moment,
trying to fight the hope and longing raging through her. No matter
what he said, this could never be. He would have to leave, and she
would have to go back to the woods and the caves. “Don’t,” she
whispered.

“If I had known what was going to
happen Arianna, I would have told you about her myself. I would
have left you alone; I would have done anything other than what I
did that night. I never meant to hurt you, I swear that. What I
feel for you, it’s not something I ever expected. I never thought
that it could happen to me. If I had been stronger I would have
resisted the offer of your gift until you knew the truth, but that
night was a complete surprise to me also.”

She stared wordlessly up at him, her
mouth parted in shock. “Braith…”

“I don’t love my fiancée Arianna. In
fact, I dislike her intensely. It’s an arranged marriage, her
family is very powerful. It is not something that either of us
want.”