Resisting Fate (Predetermined) (12 page)

“Here, let me help you…please!”

I froze as his arms reached around my waist. He pulled the key from my hands, his fingers brushing over my skin. His breath was hot against my cheek, and I cringed, praying he wouldn’t start with the whole neck smelling, licking thing again. I didn’t like the neck thing.

Well…at least not when
he
did it.

The lock easily clicked open under his hold, but he didn’t move away. He hovered, his front pressed to my back, his hands on the door handle. I figured…if he wanted to nibble on me, then that would have been the ultimate time to do so.

One second, I opened my eyes.

Two seconds, I contemplated stomping on his toes.

Three seconds, I held my breath.

Four seconds, he finally backed away.

Phew…I could breathe again. Don’t ask me why I felt the need to let him in behind me as I went inside though. Maybe it was an old habit I couldn’t break. Or maybe it was the fact that I was getting used to the idea of him being a wolf boy instead. Who knew really? I flung my bag on the couch, realizing that this might have been the stupidest idea I’d ever had, because seriously…there was nobody around to save me this time if things went bad.

I’ve gotten by before without anyone’s help, so I sure as hell could get by if he turned into a dog again. That’s when I began to wonder where exactly my mom hid the sharpest knives…

I entered the kitchen, he followed. I turned around after grabbing a glass of water from the sink, and he was there, hanging by my side like my third leg. Jesus…he never used to be this obnoxious.

“Can’t we talk? I mean, you kind of owe me your ears so I can explain things to you…” he whined.

I slapped my glass onto the counter, and scoffed at him. “I don’t
owe
you anything, Zachary.”

He pushed me back against the counter top. “Um, I kind of think you do.”

“You’re delusional,” I shook my head; his face was only a few inches from mine.

“We were in love once…happy. Why can’t we go back to that again?”

I gritted my teeth, clueless as to how I should answer him. I mean, yes, we’d been together for two years. He was the supposed love of my life once too! But as I stared up at his beautiful face, his gorgeous hazel eyes, and his perfect mouth, I realized that I had now zero feelings for him in that way anymore. Zilch. Nada. Maybe love as a friend, but nothing beyond that…

“You’re not
you
anymore…you’re not the same person you once were. And neither am I…”

 He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, before trailing his fingers down the side of my face. I bit the inside of my cheek and tried not to stiffen, but his touch…it was so unfamiliar anymore that I really didn’t know how to react to it.

He stared at me in that whole
eyes-pulled-together-in-complete-anguish
kind of stare. “I
am
me still… with another form added to my body occasionally. I think like a human when I’m in my wolf form, I
feel
everything still,” he pounded on his chest, “…especially here.”

I stared down at my hands, pressing them flat against my stomach, willing the sudden ache away. A tiny part of me wanted to hug him, to reassure him even, the part that still held memories of us as a happy, sixteen year old couple. Maybe I could have accepted him as a wolf boy…eventually…but I didn’t feel it. I didn’t feel us. Time really did change everything apparently. Especially emotions. And now…all I wanted him to do was leave, at least until I could figure out this whole supernatural thing. And I was hurting too still from his abandonment, his lies. He’d done it once before, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it again, only worse the next time?

“There’s so much you don’t know, so much I want to tell you,” he backed away from me and sat along the edge of the counter. He crossed his ankles and swung his legs back and forth. “I don’t want you to freak out on me, Red. Just hear me out. That’s all I’m asking for.”

I nodded; I’d do that, but nothing else. I jumped on the counter top next to him, but a few feet away. He sighed heavily, as if he was disappointed in our distance. This was as good as I could give him. “Listen,” he ran a hand through his hair, “…all shifters have mates,” he cleared his throat, “…you know, like the one person out there who is made for you and only you, the one person who you have to have by your side for forever?”

I groaned, dear God, not the mate thing again. This was all too much. This crap wasn’t supposed to be real! “What…am I like,
your
mate or something?” I snickered, with absolutely no humor invading my insides. Nervous yes, ha-ha funny? Nope. Like I said once before, I had a tendency to giggle when my nerves were shot to hell. And that they were…

He paled at my question. The worst part was he didn’t answer it either. “Do you believe in fate, Emmy?” He swallowed heavily, “… you know, the whole thing having to do with following your destiny and stuff?”

I shrugged, leaning back against a cupboard door. Sure, I knew what fate was. And I also knew it had a way of biting you in the ass when you didn’t expect it to…or biting me in the neck was more like. And what the hell did fate have to do with any of this anyways?

He frowned, running both of his hands through his hair this time. The nervous vibes practically radiated from his skin. God, I hoped he had his other
self
under control this time.

“Shit…I um…I’m not doing this right.”

“Just spit it out Zachary,” I groaned, and in return, he grinned back at me, tilting his head to the side. I held my breath, seeing the tiniest piece of his old self in that one look. The piece that I had been so crazy in love with once upon a time.

“You're right, I’m sorry. Okay, well…I’m not even sure how to answer that question for myself, Em, but I will tell you that I believe we can all make our own choices, which leads us to the possibility of choosing our own fate.” He was confusing the heck out of me. And I also had no clue where this conversation was going either.

I nodded though, pretending to understand his almighty Zen lesson. I was done beating around the proverbial bush, he needed to talk, and then he needed to go. “Yes, I think I understand what you mean. And I agree. I know that you can’t always control the outcome of things. But when it comes to righting wrongs and fixing the past to make the future better, then I’m all for it.” Where was he going with this?

His breath shook as he exhaled; he practically robbed the entire kitchen of any and all oxygen. His hazel eyes were soft, frightened, and they continued to stare over at me, unwavering, hopeful even too.

 “Emmy…you have a destiny baby, to become someone’s mate. I’m not sure why that is, but I can tell. So can my dad and Jack, too. You belong to someone; it’s something in your blood. It calls to us. We can smell it on you. It might not technically be me who you are fated to be with, but I’ve been trying to change that because I love you. I want to be that guy for you!” His hand pressed against his heart. I gripped the counter’s edge hard within my fingers.

Crap…what was he thinking? I shook my head, “Um no. That’s not going to happen, Zachary. I don’t
belong
to anyone. And I’m
certainly
 not ready to be somebody’s
mate
either
. Jeez
, I’m only seventeen you know!” I jumped off the counter and moved towards the other side of the kitchen. I spun around when I made it to the back door, “…besides, no one gets to choose
my
 fate, except for
me
…even if I
am
 supposedly
promised
 to you, or some other Tom, Dick, or Harry wolf.” I snorted at my own wolf joke, but the angry look on Zachary’s face showed me that he wasn’t obviously feeling my joke today.

I turned my head away from his glare to stare out the curtainless window. With my arms still crossed in defiance, I watched the autumn winds blow ominously through the trees of my back yard. A shiver of unease danced up my spine as Zachary grumbled low in his chest.

“I’m being serious here Red, why can’t you–”

“And I’m not? Jesus, Zachary, I don’t believe in this shit!” I slapped my hand against my chest. I was all about playing up the tough girl act. It was my only defense against my anxiety anymore.

“Well believe it Em, because you are fated to be with a wolf, whether you like it or not!” He jumped off the counter, closing the distance between us. I froze when he grabbed me by my waist. His fingers dug into my hips, “And there’s nothing you can do to change it, it’s inevitable.”

I focused fully onto his face, wondering to myself that all-too important question…if I wasn’t meant for him, then who in the holy hell
was
I meant for?

“So who is it then? If it’s not you, then tell me…who’s the lucky guy?” I smirked, feeling.

He shook his head. “No, don’t make me answer that.”

My body went rigid, “
You
 
know who it is? You actually know who my supposed mate is
? Scratch that, this is ridiculous, I don’t want to know because it’s
never going to happen!
” I pulled out of his grasp, darting from the room to head towards my bedroom. He could let himself out for all I cared.

He was super quick, wolf speed quick, and he beat me to my room, only to stand in front of the door seconds before I actually got there. He pushed his hands on both sides of the frame, his elbows bent so I couldn’t apparently crawl underneath them. I scowled; he scowled back, unmoving and pissed too of course.

“Get outta my way, Zachary.” I growled. My teeth gritted together in anger.

“Emmy…” he moan–whispered. He did that a lot anymore. The whining, the moaning. Ugh, was that, like, a hidden Zachary trait that his wolf side had brought out, or was it always there and I never noticed until that recently?

He pressed his hands against my face; his lips were so close I could almost taste his breath on my mouth. I didn’t want him there. I wanted him gone.

“I think you should go, Zachary.”

Apparently there must have been some sort of universal code out there that said when a guy got this close to you, and you closed your eyes, that he
had
to kiss you or something because that’s exactly what happened next.

I fought him, hands pushing, fingers scratching, but all that did was make him wilder, fiercer with his kisses. His mouth was almost violent as he sucked on my lips. He used his tongue to break through the opening that he no longer was allowed to visit. I saw red, so I did what I had to do…I gave his man junk a quick introduction to my knee.

“Shit Emmy, what the hell?” He groaned, and fell to his knees. Oops…that was probably a bad idea, wasn’t it?

“Um. sorry?” I cringed, and slowly inched by him into my room, shrugging. That in itself was my first mistake. The second mistake? I didn’t watch my back…

He rammed into me, tackling me onto my bed, and onto my stomach. All the breath left my lungs as his weight pushed down on me. I shoved my elbows back, but he caught on to my defense tactic fast, because he pulled both of my hands above my head. He pressed his knee into my back, and held me in place as he leaned over to whisper in my ear. I grunted and bucked, but I was still stuck.

“He wasn’t supposed to do this yet. He told me he didn’t want you. Goddamn it…I was supposed to finish the transition process, go through with the training, and then you would be mine!”

My body went still as I turned my face to the other side. What the hell was he rambling on about now?

“Who, Zachary? Who are you talking about, let me up and then we can talk. I promise…I won’t hurt you again…” I pulled my lips in between my teeth and held my breath, trying to think and speak logically without letting the panic rise in my voice. He didn’t respond. He didn’t say a damn thing. His sudden silence became my new worst enemy…

“Zachary?” I whispered; cringing as his grip tightened on my wrists. My throat went dry, my head was pounding.

“He’s your mate, Emmy,” He finally growled. The sound was far from nice though.