Resisting Fate (Predetermined) (11 page)

The door creaked slightly as I stepped inside, my breath stalled out in my lungs. It was a habit to stay quiet when coming home, even though I knew the step-douche wasn’t there. But the instinct to act that way wasn’t something that would leave me overnight. I glanced around, noticing right away how tidy everything appeared. I shrugged, I was impressed, intrigued even. My mother never cleaned, nor did she cook either.

“Mom?” I half whispered, half yelled up the stairs. Faintly, I heard a noise that sounded like giggling, but that couldn’t be right. My mom didn’t giggle. “Mom, are you here?” I tried one more time, walking up the steps as my heart pulsated frantically against my chest.

I shuddered, walking past my mom and step-douche’s room first. I tried not to look over at the spot on the wall where I was almost choked to death, but yet, I almost have to. I have to remind myself that, yes indeed, I was alive. I held my hand to my throat, somehow pulling myself away from my memories. I followed the loud, squealing sound I heard coming from Jamie’s room. It wasn’t a scary noise. If anything; it was the sound of happiness, a sound that happened to belong to my brother…and my mom.

“Hey guys, how’s it going?” I whispered softly, leaning against the doorframe of Jamie’s room. The moment he saw me, his eyes brightened and he bounced off the bed with a wail.

“Emmy!” he hollered, throwing his arms around my legs in a heartbreakingly tight way. I crouched down to face him head on, not even bothering to look at my mother’s face as I did.

“Hey, short stuff!” I rubbed my hand over his head, “I heard you got into a super ninja battle with the bathtub?” He pulled back, grinning like a proud little guy as he shoved his red cast up into my face.

“Yeah, isn’t it cool? It’s red like Mario. Mommy said I could pick whatever color I wanted, so I got this!”

“Wow, that’s awesome buddy!”

“Yeah, it doesn’t even hurt anymore, and Mommy said that if I wanted to decorate it with my new Super Mario stickers that Grandma gave me, I could! Do you want to help, Emmy?”

I glanced briefly towards my mother, noticing the sad smile on her face as she looked at her son with nothing but adoration in her eyes. What I really wanted to do is whack the crap out of the woman for letting this happen to him in the first place. For my little brother’s sake, I would forgo that idea, at least for now. All bets were off when he went out of the room.

“Sure bud, I’ll help you. Why don’t you run downstairs and grab a marker too. I want to sign that bad boy.” I ran my hand through his long blond curls, admiring the look of happiness in his four-year-old eyes as he nodded. I am more than thankful that the little guy didn’t fully understand everything yet.

With a loud “Ka-Pow!” exiting his mouth, Jamie was out the door, running probably a little faster than a boy with a broken wrist should have been. My mom moved off the bed making her way to stand in front of me. I stiffened, definitely not wanting to appear vulnerable in front of her. She didn’t need to know how much this whole situation killed me.

“Emmy, I know what you’re thinking honey, and let me tell you first how sorry I am…sorry about everything.”

“Yep, whatever, I’ve heard it all before.” I turned away from her, gripping my sweater, as I tried to take in everything around her without actually looking
at
her.

“Sweetie, I love you, and you know how much I love Jamie too. And I want to start over, the three of us. John’s gone now. He’s in jail this time honey. They got him for child endangerment since he was drunk when Jamie fell out of the tub. He’s going to be in there for a while. And I want this to work! Please, Emmy…” She stepped behind me, and pressed her hand upon my shoulder.

My body tensed at her unexpected gentleness. This wasn’t her; only days before, she had basically disowned me. Now, why, was she begging for us to be one big happy family? Excuse me if I was a little pessimistic about the whole thing. Maybe she was high or something too…that was
definitely
not out of the question.

“Mom, stop with the lovey-dovey stuff, alright?” I brushed her off, but spun around to look at her, “I’ll come home, but not for you. For
Jaime
.”

“Oh baby, you won’t regret this, I promise! Things will be different now.”

I’d heard it all before, but like I said I wasn’t moving back for anything other than Jamie.

Speak of the devil. I grinned as Jamie came darting back into the room. His markers were in one hand as he pulled my pant leg towards his little twin bed. I didn’t bother looking at my mother’s face again. I could already hear her quiet sobs as she walked out the door, and that was more than enough for me for one night. The woman was lying, and I knew that the moment her husband was out of jail, things would definitely go back to the way they were before.

This time though, I was going to be prepared.

Chapter Nine

I felt as if I walked the plank of a pirate ship come Monday morning. Mainly because of who I knew I’d inevitably run into. I hadn’t heard from Jack, or even seen him since last Wednesday when everything went to hell. Nor had I seen either of the Martin parents. I called into work, using the excuse that I needed to spend some time with the
family
. I needed to avoid them all, that way I could get my head on straight–wrap it around everything that had happened.

I shivered, pulling my turtleneck sweater a little tighter around my neck as I attempted to key in my locker code. I wasn’t cold–not by a long shot–I was just sort of freaking out. Freaking out over the fact that Jack was somewhere close by actually. It was weird, because it was almost as if I could sense his presence now, even when he wasn’t there.

“Hey, there you are! I tried calling your house phone last night, but it said it was disconnected or something.”

I jumped at the sound of Kelsey’s voice. Jesus, talk about being on edge… I shut my locker with a loud sigh, as I turned to face her. Dark circles rimmed the underside of her eyes, and the slight flaw on her normally perfect complexion surprised me. My beautiful best friend looked as though she’d been through as many battles with the nightmares as I had lately.

“Yeah sorry. Mom didn’t pay the cell phone bill again,”

“Again?” Kelsey leaned against the locker nearby, hiding a yawn with the back of her hand. I pulled my book bag up around my shoulders, and nodded back at her, too embarrassed to even make eye contact. “Well, if you need money girl—”

“No! No money, Kelsey. I’m going after school to pay it, so it’s fine.”

She sighed in response. It was more than obvious she had no idea what to say. And I was fine with that. “Alright, but hey, you know all you have to do is ask…”

I shrugged, annoyed that the subject was still going on. The bill was going to get paid. End of subject.

Kelsey started blabbing away as we weaved in and out of the crowded hall. She waved at anyone and everyone who crossed her path, but
I
kept my head down. I wasn’t in the socializing mood…but then again, was I ever? Besides, I wanted only to get to class without a Jack run-in. It was bad enough having first hour with him, but it was a good thing we got to pick our spots every day, that way I wouldn’t be forced to sit next to him.

“Hey Jack! How’s it going?”

I stiffened, I couldn’t move. I was stuck right there in the middle of the hall, with legs that apparently had a mind of their own. Well, crap, I guess I spoke too soon.

“Emmy hey,” Kelsey nudged me in the ribs with her elbows, pushing me in the back with her other hand. I glared down at her, and held my fingers against my now, most likely, bruised side. Wow, when had this girl gotten so damn strong? “Jack’s coming over, look alive.”

She grinned, I groaned. We made one hell of a duo… Slowly, I glanced to my left, gasping quietly as his gorgeous blue eyes came into view. But they also held laughter in them today, and it kind of made me want to poke them out with my thumbs.

“Hey Kelsey. Hey Strawberry. How are you ladies doing this morn?” That damn sexy smirk was aimed solely towards me, and it took all my self-control not to squirm under his heated gaze. I sucked my lips into my mouth, trying to keep my breathing normal as he practically crawled inside my brain with that look. Why was he always so intense, hardcore?

“I’m good, but running late. Gotta go, see ya later, girly!” Kelsey giggled, gifting us with a very un-generous wave before she sprinted towards another group of girls down the hall. Yeah right, Kelsey hurrying to class? What a load of crap.

“So…you get everything moved back into your house then?”

I frowned.
What…like my one duffle bag?
I swallowed my sarcasm as his looming, six-foot stature hung over my shoulder. Maybe he was actually trying to be sweet for once. Guess I’d try to give him the benefit of the doubt. He did rescue me. Twice.

“Um, Yeah, I did. I really needed to be with my brother, you know?”

He nodded; he was definitely more of the silent type. Kind of like me in a way…

We began walking side-by-side, like we were two buddies, having a normal convo. Then the vision of that motorcycle ride came back with vengeance. My arms wrapped around his waist, the way one of his hands had laid over both of mine. The warmth of his leather jacket pressed against my chest, my thighs wrapped around his body…okay, not in school. I totally had to get my head out of the gutter, fast. Besides, I couldn’t continue to get caught in his spell, especially now that I knew about their little, family secret.

“I’m sorry.”

I blinked, his arm brushed against mine, the tingles were as powerful as ever. I pulled away.

“For what?”

“That your little brother got hurt…” he paused, pulling me to a stop right, “… but I’m not sorry that you weren’t there. I’m not sorry at all. That could have been
you
Emmy.”

I groaned in annoyance, totally not needing a lecture at eight in the morning from a supernatural freak-a-zoid like him. He wouldn’t know a
real
life situation if it hit him straight between the eyes.

“Hey, don’t walk away from me Strawberry! I want to talk to you!” Jack hollered from behind as I strolled away. Then his hand gripped the back of my shirt, pulling me to him, giving me no choice in the matter whatsoever.

I sucked in a lung full of air, his touch, even through my shirt was sensational–electric. I turned around to glare at him. Damn him–I couldn’t get this feeling every time he touched me. It wasn’t…normal!

“You’re doing something to me aren’t you? When you touch me…” My jaw flexed from side to side as I stared up at him. I mean, I wasn’t exactly planning on calling him out on our little supernatural skin connection thing right there in school, but like always, my mouth didn’t know when to shut off.

He grinned down at me, shaking his head with a laughing snort. “You watch too many movies, Strawberry. You must
feel
better when I touch you. Admit it…you like my hands on your body.” He grinned harder, pulling me back into this little secluded space between the girls’ and boys’ bathrooms. My mouth dropped, but I stumbled along next to him anyway. His assumptions and bold moves were not something I was used to. What in the hell was wrong with me? I should’ve been decking this guy’s kissable lips–not admiring the fullness of them as he pressed them together to hold back his laughter.

Shaking the stupidity out of my head, I pulled my arm out of his grasp, snarling like Zachary had done the other night. I swallowed hard at the thought of Zachary. Damn, would I ever get the site of his snout and teeth out of my head?

“Stop it Emmy, stop thinking about him.” Jack’s lips were pressed into a tight line. Wow, now how in the hell had he known what I was thinking?

He threw his arms out to the side in the what-don’t-you-get sort of way. “Your smell changes when you think about him. It’s like this sickening sweet smell. It gives me a damn headache.” He backed away even more, pressing his palms flat against his forehead. I gaped at him. What the hell? He got
headaches
because of a smell that I was supposedly putting off while thinking about his cousin?

Um, yeah, weird…

I frowned, my arms crossed. I didn’t know how to respond. I was so weirded out, that I didn’t talk. So I shook my head, turned around, and walked the hell away.

 This time though…he didn’t bother to follow me…

* * *

The day went by surprisingly fast, but I couldn’t help but notice that Jack never actually showed up to first period… I tried not to let that bug me, but the pained look on his face after the whole weird smell my thoughts thing in the hall, stayed with me for the rest of the day.

“O M G, Emmy, look over there!” I looked up at the sound of my best friend’s paranoid voice, as she pulled us into my driveway. I pushed my brows together, glaring towards the direction of her pointed finger, noting right away what she was freaking out about.

Zachary was there. And he was surrounded by what appeared to be at least four large crystal looking vases, all filled to the brim with nothing but red roses, right there on my front porch. My palms immediately began to sweat as I took in his tall form from head to toe. Seriously…what was he doing there? He was supposed to be away at his um, wolf school. He had some serious balls to be showing up like this.

Kelsey looked over at me; confusion masked her eyes as she pulled us up to the front of the house. I couldn’t move though. Nor could I breathe. And I sure as hell knew that I couldn’t face him.

“Are you okay? I mean, do you want to leave? I figured you’d be happy to see him and all…if not, then say the word Em, and I’ll take us to my house.” I glanced down at her hands, noticing how tightly she was gripping the leather on steering wheel. Huh… I mean, I knew that Zachary wasn’t her favorite person and all, especially since he’d left like he had last spring, but still…

I shook my head, looking back over at him, “No. Just drop me off,” I grumbled, “I need to talk to him anyway.” I reached down to grab my bag, running my other hand through my tangled hair. I opened the door, feeling my legs shake as I pushed myself into a standing position.

I could do this. Totally. I mean, it wasn’t like he was going to eat me in my own house right?

“Hey…you sure?” Kelsey hollered through the window from behind.

I gave her a quick smile over my shoulder. “Yeah, I’m good…” no, I really wasn’t. What was a girl supposed to do when the guy she once thought she was hopelessly in love with showed up like this? And it wasn’t like I could tell Kelsey the truth either. She’d be calling the loony bin if I wasn’t careful and accidentally let the truth slip out about why I was really freaking out. Besides, I had to at least try to give him the benefit of the doubt, right? Even
if
I couldn’t trust him not to keep his teeth away from my neck. I shivered at that memory of how close he came that night, wondering…what would happen if he had gone through with the biting thing? Would I have turned into a wolf? Would I have been bound to him like some sort of sick love slave or something?

Ack.…This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my senior year, dammit! I was hoping to pass my classes, graduate, and then move the hell out of this town, not worry about real live wolf people. Still though, I had time right? I mean life’s greatest surprises are always the ones left undiscovered. Yes, positivity was the way to go, even though nothing about this entire situation seemed positive to me…

The gravel crunched underneath my shoes as I made my way up the driveway. He inched forward on the porch until he stood at the top step. His entire face was tense; his hands were tucked into the front pocket of his jeans. I gulped, making that first plunge up the steps to meet him. There would be no going back now. I was stuck.

“Emmy…” Zachary sighed in what appeared to be relief, his shoulders slouched, his entire face eased. I really had no idea what he was relieved about. He was in a shit load of trouble in my book.

“What are you doing here?” I chewed on my lip, moving around him when I made it to the top of the stairs. His arms, once outstretched as if he was readying for a hug, fell to his side with a slap.

“I couldn’t stay away, Em…I couldn’t be apart from you anymore.”

I groaned, frustrated and angry and irritated with his sudden neediness. He reached out for me again, “Emmy…please?” I hesitated, looking down at his hands. The very hands that, only days ago I witnessed changing into wolf paws. Big wolf paws. With nails. Long, sharp nails.

“I…I don’t know what to say Zachary…”

“Say you love me; tell me you can forgive me for not being honest with you.”

I shook my head and moved towards the door, “It’s not about the honesty, it’s about the way you went about telling me…or should I say
showing
me.”

I shoved the key in the door, but it wouldn’t budge. Crap. I twisted, I pushed, but I couldn’t get it to turn. Maybe too, it was because my hands were still shaking something fierce.