Restless (Relentless Series Book 2) (17 page)

My nerves were completely on edge knowing I would see Stephen for the first time since my appointment with Dr. Harris. Four long weeks since I had told him I was done with our relationship. It was Harper’s first birthday party and everyone who was considered family would be at the house helping us celebrate. That included Stephen. He was making a special trip back just for the party, hence the butterflies I had trying to escape from my stomach.

I had chosen cute shorts with lace on the edges and a blue Aztec crop top, layered with a flowing black tank top over the top. A long silver necklace dangled between my breasts, accentuating what little curves I had. I took a long time to pick out the perfect outfit for today. It wouldn’t be okay if I looked like I had been pining for him after I sent him away, even though I had been.

My fingers shook as I put beautiful, red strawberries on a serving platter for guests. Violet had been going insane trying to plan Harper’s first birthday. Apparently she expected it to look like something off of Pinterest. If it had been me, I would have given the kid some animal crackers and let her crawl around in the sand all afternoon. This is why Vi is a better mom than I ever would be. She thought about these things and wanted them to be special, even though Harp wouldn't remember it.

“Are you almost done?” Violet asked looking over my shoulder.

“Yep. What’s next?”

“Everyone should be here soon. I need to get ready before people start showing up. Can you carry everything out to the deck?”

“Sure, no problem.”

She ran off to go get showered and changed, and I carried platters back and forth. On the last trip I took one more than I should have. My shoe got caught on a board as I stepped over the threshold and I almost fell. Strong arms grabbed me from behind and studied the platter before I could drop the glass plate.

“Careful there, baby.”

Stephen.

I closed my eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

Mistake number one because the familiar smell of his spicy cologne almost brought me to tears. I straightened my expression before turning back to him.

“Hey,” I whispered. “Thanks for saving the strawberries.”

“You’re welcome.” He took the platter from me and carried it the last few feet to the table. “You look good, Taylor.”

I eyed him up and down. He looked amazing. It had only been a few weeks since I had seen him last, but he’d been hitting the gym. The arms of his button-down shirt were tighter than normal. The sleeves were rolled up and the sight of his muscled forearms had me practically drooling.

“So do you.”

He walked over and hugged me gently. His scruff rubbed against my jaw as he whispered in my ear. “I’ve missed you.” I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. He wasn’t playing fair. “Can we talk later?”

I nodded slowly, afraid to speak.

Without a doubt this party would drag by.

I watched from the corner of the living room as Harper opened all of her presents. Each one was painfully slow. Violet was determined for her to open them all though. Even Jax was looking a little frayed around the edges as we dutifully watched. Stephen kept glancing in my direction as we sat. I knew because I kept doing the same. We had this unspoken agreement that once this was done, it was time for us to talk.

Waiting was slowly killing me.

Finally, Harper pulled the bow off of her last present and we were free. Stephen made his way out to the back deck. I glanced around to make sure no one would miss me and started after him. Jax asked me to grab a garbage bag before I could get five feet away. I gritted my teeth and got the bag for him. Harper squealed as I came closer and demanded my attention. I picked up my niece and stared into her beautiful blue eyes. Stephen could wait for a few more minutes for her. It was her birthday after all. We played peek-a-boo and when she grew tired of it I passed her off to Sophia.

“I was starting to think you changed your mind,” Stephen said as I walked out onto the deck, closing the door behind me.

“No, I just got shanghaied by the best.” He looked at me questioningly. “Harper.”

His husky chuckle filled the air, and I felt it low in my belly. It had been too long since I had heard that sound. This wasn’t about sex though; this was about us actually talking about what we want. We walked down into the sand and turned the opposite direction of our house. Neither of us wanted that particular distraction.

“How have you been?”

Honestly?” I asked. “Not great.”

He smiled sadly. “Me neither. I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past few weeks.”

“Me too.”

“Let me start, please." He took a deep breath. "I gave up on us too easily. I let you give up too easily. We didn’t fight for our relationship when we should have; instead we just fought each other. All I wanted was to be with you, but I kept blaming you for things. Things you really had no control over.” He stopped and grabbed my wrist gently. “Let me fight for you, Taylor.”

“Stephen—”

He took my hand in his and kissed my palm, stopping me. “Baby, I love you. I’ve loved you since we were kids. We can do this right. After losing you the first time, I should have been thankful that you found your way back to me. Instead I was a prick, and I tried to hurt you back. All I want to do is love you, but damned if you make it easy to do, Taylor.” He brushed his fingers over my cheeks to wipe away my tears. “You didn’t deserve any of it. I continued to be jealous of Rhys when I had no reason to be. Every time you told me that, I ignored it and pretended like I knew what you were thinking. In all honesty, I was just scared that you were trying to hurt me like I hurt you.”

“Oh, Stephen,” I said softly. He squeezed my hand and continued.

“You’ve always been restless and I get that, but you’ve let me into your life. You came back to California, to me, and I threw that back in your face. Everything you wrote in that letter helped me understand why, but I couldn’t make myself get over my insecurities. I’m done with punishing you and being jealous of Rhys. Please forgive me, baby.”

“I forgive you, Stephen. There was never a question of that. Is this what you truly want?”

“Without a doubt. I love you, Magnolia Taylor Montgomery. What do you want?”

“I’ve wanted you since before I even left, but I’ve been terrified to actually let myself get close enough to you again to try. I love you so much and I’m sorry. When we slipped back into old habits, I was so happy. But it scared me because I was afraid you would push me away again, so I fought back first. I'm going to therapy to figure things out. I don't want to lose you again. You are my home, Stephen.”

His lips pressed to mine, and I melted into his chest. I threaded my fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck. He pulled back and placed his forehead against mine.

“So where do we go from here?”

“We just need to take things slowly for a while.”

“For how long?”

“When do you get back in town?”

He thought for a second. “Next Thursday.”

“Okay, when you get back, we can make sure we're still on the same page. We can make it that long, right?”

He smirked and I knew that my phone would be blown up the whole time he was gone. I already knew what my decision would be, but I wanted him to be sure this was exactly what he wanted for our future. For us to go forward, we needed to make sure we could let go of the past.

The warmth of the bonfire heated my skin. I loved the calming sense of peace that came over me as we sat out on the beach. It was the first time in forever that I felt truly content. There wasn’t any lingering doubt or stress from deadlines looming over my head. For once, I was letting myself be in this moment.

After the party, we all decided to sit around and enjoy spending time with everyone. It wasn’t often that we got to hang out together, so we wanted to take advantage. The tension between Stephen and me was gone, which I’m sure no one overlooked, but they weren’t commenting on it. Thank goodness.

Stephen looked over at me and nudged my foot with his. “Why am I the only one that hasn’t seen this YouTube video?”

I groaned.

“Aww, why are you complaining? You were good," Gage said laughing.

“Emmy called me the next morning and asked if she could sign me.”

Jax and Stephen laughed.

“You’re kidding me,” Violet said giggling.

“I wish I was. She woke me up at six to ask why she'd never heard me sing like that. I blew her off.”

“You know she'll bug you again later, right?” Stephen countered.

“Ugh. Don’t remind me.”

“You should sing for us now. Be the entertainment, Taylor,” Jax said.

“Quit being a dick,” I griped.

“I’m serious. I’ve only seen this phenomenon twice.”

I dipped my head to the side to think for a moment. I took a moment to decide what to sing, but after a few seconds I decided on “Everybody’s Got Somebody But Me” by Hunter Hays. The catchy beat was exactly what I needed right that second. As I finished up, Stephen had a small smile curling at his lips. Gage and Amanda clapped.

“I take back every snarky comment I’ve ever made about you singing in the shower,” Jax said chuckling.

“Again, don’t be a dick,” I said, trying not to smile.

“Seriously though Taylor, maybe you should take Em up on her offer,” Stephen said.

“That’s not what I want. Singing is the thing I use to get rid of the excess emotions I carry around. It’s not a way to make money or become famous. I have a hard time getting on stage without passing out or throwing up.”

Violet hadn’t said anything, but she had been staring at me since I had finished.

“I’ve known you could sing, but I never pushed you.”

“Vi, seriously. Just drop it. You guys heard me sing; now it’s over.”

She pursed her lips. After a few drinks, Violet tended to say whatever she thought without thinking about it. I hoped this wasn’t one of those times. My cozy little bubble of happiness wasn’t as bright and shiny as it had been. Singing might have been a mistake.

Stephen nudged me again, and I looked over at him. He grinned, and I instantly felt better. I don’t understand what this man does to me. With every look or touch he can completely change my mood. I smiled back at him and ducked my head, staring down at my hands.

“I need a drink,” I announced. I walked the short distance to the house and tried to breathe as I poured my whiskey. Violet wasn’t trying to upset me, but I didn’t want to talk about why I hadn’t pursued a music career. Slowly, I made my way back out to the group.

We talked for a while about their new projects and random things going on. I shivered against the night air. Stephen moved closer and offered part of his blanket. I smiled gratefully and moved to cover up. As the night wore on, we inched closer to each other. The others shared knowing looks, but no one said a word. By the end, I was curled up under Stephen’s arm, my head resting on his chest, our fingers interlocked under the blanket. His large hand rested on my thigh and I trembled every time his fingers dipped lower.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because I woke up in my bed. Stephen’s spicy cologne filled my room, and I smiled. He had tucked me in. Thursday couldn’t come fast enough.