Restoration (24 page)

Chapter 26

Tell Sarah I say Hi
?

Drew’s heart lurched as he read the words. He couldn’t understand why she would say that. How could she know he’d even seen Sarah? The only people who knew were in Braley.

He felt the all-too-familiar tingles of fear on his scalp as he thought about what would happen if Grace knew about his weak moment with Sarah. Even though he hadn’t slept with her, the guilt that he’d considered it weighed on him.

Since he’d been back from the disaster that was Briony’s wedding, he’d worked hard to move forward, making the difficult choice to seek out his birth parents. Hours of phone calls, letters, emails, and searches through Scotland’s adoption registry finally resulted in a potential lead. His travel plans were finalized and he was ready to find out who he really was. Ten’s was practically running itself in his absence and he thanked his lucky stars that his employees were so fantastic. Never before had he been so absent from a job for personal reasons.

He looked around his kitchen and living room and breathed a sigh of relief. His house was finally tidy again. A month of ordering in and leaving boxes strewn about, not caring for anything but his own misery, had resulted in an absolutely disgusting mess.

He ran a hand over his beard, growing back fully after his recent family obligation. He’d finally picked up his razor to shave before the wedding, his mum’s usual scolding ringing in his ear as if she were there.

You’ll be there in front of God and everyone, Drew. No son of mine is gonna appear at
(insert family function here)
looking like a homeless person.

As he packed his bag for the trip to Edinburgh, he felt excitement and anxiety all at once. He wanted to call Grace, tell her he was actually going to do it. He needed to talk to her, to hear her sweet voice in his ear again, even if it was just so she could break his heart all over.

Tell Sarah I say Hi
.

He winced in confusion as he read the text again. Even through his misery of missing Grace, he’d rather be alone than let Sarah back into his life.

The train jostled him as he stared out the window, thoughts of Grace refusing to leave his head. He went over their conversations with a fine-toothed comb and was only able to reach one conclusion. She was fooling herself and afraid. He saw now how wrapped up in his own hurt he’d been. She was meant for him and he for her; that was the only thing that mattered.

He was resolved by the time the train reached Edinburgh. After he saw this through, he was going back for her. There was nothing that could keep him from her, not his brother’s ghost and not her ridiculous notion that she’d been using him.

Grace hated docto
r’s offices. They smelled weird, that sterile but slightly musty scent, sort of like the taste of a Popsicle stick after all the goodness was gone. She almost gagged at the thought and had to pop a mint into her mouth to knock back the rising nausea. Her knees bounced continually while she flipped through an old issue of
People
magazine, catching up on the celebrity gossip from six months ago.

“Grace McConnell?” a matronly, yet kind-faced nurse called from the door.

She followed, the nurse’s shoes squeaking on the shiny tile floor. “Don’t be nervous, honey. Room three, please.”

They went through the typical triage and the nurse noted her blood pressure was higher than normal, but nothing to worry about. She attributed it to the stress of moving and everything else going on in her life. The doctor came in after a short wait and introduced herself.

“I’m Dr. Anderson.” She shook Grace’s hand and turned kind eyes from the chart to look at her. “Tell me what’s going on.”

She relayed her stress level and her symptoms, as well as her family history.

Dr. Anderson nodded and checked the chart for something. Her brow creased. “Looks like we missed something when we took your information. When was your last menstrual period?”

Grace thought back and couldn’t remember. “Um . . . I’m not sure. I mean, it must have been a few weeks ago. Maybe a month. The last time I really remember was in February.”

Dr. Anderson’s eyebrows rose in question. “Okay then, let’s get you a quick pregnancy test. Just to rule that out first.”

Grace’s heart sped up, butterflies fluttering in her stomach.
Pregnant?

She saw the packet of birth control sitting in the drawer of her vanity at her parents’ house, used for a few days and then forgotten.
Oh, God.

The doctor came back with a clear plastic cup and handed it to her.

“Fill this and write your name on the top. There’s a receptacle in the bathroom wall. We’ll run it as quick as we can. I’ll rush it so we’ll know before you leave here.”

She took the cup with shaking hands and nodded to Dr. Anderson. Her heart pounded in her chest as she opened the door to the bathroom. She awkwardly positioned the cup and filled it, a delicate balance between peeing all over herself and actually hitting the target. She stared down at the full cup, wondering exactly what she wanted the results to be.

A baby wasn’t even near her radar, but Drew’s baby? She couldn’t deny the excitement that little possibility brought her. Her hand trembled as she opened the small square door in the wall and placed the cup in the receptacle. She washed her hands and went back to the examination room.

The wait was excruciating. Her stomach turned in knots and her pulse pounded in her ears. She tried to occupy her mind by checking emails on her phone, but wasn’t able to focus for longer than a minute. She switched gears and decided to waste time on her rarely-used social media account.

Once there, she was inundated with a backlog of friend requests from random people she’d stopped talking to after high school, messages from strangers, and a few years’ worth of birthday wishes and condolences from right after John had died. She rolled her eyes and began shooting down the friend requests and deleting messages.

As the list cleared, she saw Drew’s picture appear in a chat window.

Grace? Are you actually online?

Yes.

Please talk to me.

Can’t right now. I’m at the doctor’s office.

Are you ill?

Yes, but I’ll be fine.

She wanted to touch him, to hold his hand while she waited for the results of her test. She needed his comforting presence. Then she thought about Sarah.

She flipped to his profile and saw posts by Sarah Tensley.
Great time in Surrey w/u Drews. Never forget it.
Followed by a picture of them together, smiling over a pint.

Her chat screen pinged.

Grace, we need to fix this. Us.

Not right now, Drew. You want to talk to someone, go talk to Sarah. Looks like you’ve been doing just fine without me.

She switched off her phone as the door opened and Dr. Anderson came in.

“Well, Grace, it looks like you’re pregnant. Which explains all of your symptoms.”

“Pregnant?” Her mouth was dry and she felt sick.

Dr. Anderson nodded. “We’ll need to do a quick ultrasound to see how far along you are since we don’t know your last cycle date. Can you lie down on the table for me and scoot down your pants?”

Her stomach dropped and she felt faint as she moved, feeling like she was underwater. The paper that covered the table made a loud rustling noise as she reclined and moved her clothes to accommodate the ultrasound. She lifted her shirt and flinched when the cold gel hit the skin of her still flat belly.

“So, this will give us a more accurate picture of your baby and where we’re at.”

She moved the wand around on her belly and the picture was there, black and white and kind of fuzzy, but Grace could clearly see a heart beating. Tears pooled in her eyes and she wiped them away with a quick flick of her fingers. Overwhelmed with love for the little being growing inside her, she knew she couldn’t contain her tears for long.

“Looks like you’re about nine weeks, Grace. That puts conception sometime in late February or early March. Sound about right?”

She nodded. Her throat was swollen with unshed tears and she couldn’t speak.

“I take it this wasn’t planned?”

She shook her head. “No, I thought I had stomach cancer.”

Dr. Anderson smiled with a gentleness reserved for mothers and kindergarten teachers. “No, not cancer. Do we need to talk about other options? Adoption? Termination?”

“No. No. I’m keeping this baby.” The words left her mouth before she could even think about it.

“Congratulations, then. I’ll print some pictures for you and get you a prescription for prenatal vitamins. The nausea should start to subside in the next few weeks. Make sure you keep something in your stomach. As for the fatigue, that’s par for the course. You can see a chiropractor to help with your hips, but take it easy, rest your body if it’s hurting. You can keep running just as long as you listen to what your body’s telling you.”

She nodded. “Thank you, Dr. Anderson.”

She walked to the elevator, cradling the pictures of her baby.
My baby. I’m having a baby.
A wide grin spread across her face and as the elevator doors closed she laughed, a little hysterically, at the massive curveball life had just thrown her.

The tears flowed freely as the elevator descended into the parking garage.

Chapter 27

Drew breathed in the spring air, clean and crisp, as he walked along the royal mile in Edinburgh. His meeting with a potential aunt was in an hour and he was tense, his stomach tied in knots. As he passed the familiar shops and cafés, he felt a pang of longing for Grace. She’d been the one to break them apart, who’d said those terribly hurtful things, but he still couldn’t let her go. As much as she didn’t want him to, he loved her and he wished she was with him.The streets were busy this time of day, lunchtime for most and the beginning of tourist season. People were taking advantage of the beautiful weather and heading out for long family weekends and romantic mini-breaks. He walked past a family taking a photo with Edinburgh castle in the background and he chuckled as the littlest member of the family, a small corgi, dutifully raised his leg and did his business all over the father’s shoe.

His body was on high alert as he approached the potentially life-changing meeting spot. A woman stood on the steps near the Scott monument; tall like him, with the same dark hair and eyes. She looked to be about fifty years old. Her hair was long and straight, blowing in the wind and scattered with gray.

“Andrew?” she called out, a slight quaver in her voice. Her Scottish accent strong even through the single word.

“Breanna.” He nodded and reached out to shake her hand.

“God, I don’t know why I thought you’d be just a wee lad. I know you’re grown.” She had tears in her eyes as she looked at him.

“So, um. You said you might be my Aunt?” He was uncomfortable with her level of familiarity.

“Yes. I’m your mum’s sister. Before I say anything else, I want you to know that she wanted you so badly, both of you—”

“Hold on. Are you sure we’re related?”

“Sweetheart, you’re her spitting image.” She rifled through her handbag and produced a photo of a young woman—a girl really—with a bright smile on her face.

Breanna was right; her smile was huge, just like his, and utterly infectious, causing him to break out in a small grin at the sight. He’d always thought of his own smile as too wide and obnoxious, almost maniacal.

“You said she wanted us?”

Breanna dropped her eyes to the photo and ran her fingers lovingly over her sister’s face. “Oh, yes, but she was only a wee girl herself, you know. Our parents made her give you both up for her own future and yours. She wouldn’t tell us who the father was.”

“Where is she now?”

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this. Maggie married and moved to the States twenty years back. She won’t have anything to do with us. Being forced to give you up cut our family apart.”

His hope fell. Everyone was gone. He wished he hadn’t even tried to find his parents. Now that he knew she was unreachable, he felt lost. He’d finally found his blood kin and they were all gone, except for Breanna.

“Does she want to meet me? Does she know I met you?”

“I’m sorry, love. She’s completely lost to us. Maybe one day her heart will change. She’s just been through so much. Perhaps if you try to contact her? I’ve got her last known address. You could send something by post.”

They sat together and got to know each other a little over tea and scones. He could see his own features in her strong face and it was eerie. She’d been married for fifteen years and had two young children, which he realized were his cousins. He wanted to know this part of his family, but didn’t want to overwhelm her.

They decided on meetings twice a month to ease into their journey toward connecting and he already felt excited about learning more of his roots, ancestors, and background.

“How’d it go with the doctor
? Are you all fixed?” Valerie asked as they ate lunch together in Grace’s near-empty office.

“Yep, it’s nothing I can’t manage. She gave me some vitamin supplements and a little advice to take it easier. I need to change my diet a bit, but it should clear up in a few months.”

“Good. See, I told you everything would be fine.” Valerie peeked at her over the rim of her diet soda. “Drew’s been trying to get info from me about you.”

Grace looked down at the carpet and fought through a wave of nausea. The morning sickness was easing a little each day and she hoped it would be gone by the time they arrived in Braley.

“Hmm. Yeah, he and I chatted a little online the other day while I was waiting for the doctor.”

“And?”

“Nothing, really. He wants to talk. I don’t.”

“Grace? Why don’t you?”

She sighed, embarrassed. “I was trolling his profile online and saw a post from Sarah and a picture of them together in Surrey. I’m not going to get involved in that mess.”

“Jealous?”

“Yes.” She took a drink of her smoothie and looked up at Valerie’s luminous blue eyes. “I don’t have any right to be, but I’m so jealous I can barely see straight. I’m the one who pushed him away. I don’t get to be jealous.”

“Yeah, you do. You pushed him away because you thought you were doing the right thing for him. Besides, if he’s really with her again, then you know his head’s in a bad place.”

Grace raised a quizzical brow. “How did you get so smart?”

“Good genes.”

As she said goodbye to her colleagues for the last time before leaving for Braley, Grace felt excited. Just as she had before, she could see a new life ahead of her. This time, she was going back to so much more. Even if Drew was with Sarah, she knew he would want to be involved with his baby, knew that he would be there for her, whatever their situation. He’d already lost enough in his life.

She decided not to tell anyone about the baby until he knew. He was the one she’d kept things from before and knew it had caused their rift. This time, he would be the first to know.

She was hoping to see him as soon as they got into Braley and had plans to break the news gently, maybe over tea. He didn’t know she was returning, but she didn’t see any problem there. She’d arrive in three days, eleven weeks pregnant and ready to start a whole new life. Her hand rested on her belly, which somehow felt fuller than it had just a week ago.

“What are you doing?” Valerie’s voice was full of concern and her eyes were trained on Grace’s hand, resting protectively on her non-existent bump. “Oh, my God. You . . . It’ll clear up in a few months? Are you kidding me, Grace?”

So much for telling Drew first.

She thought seriously about offering Valerie a denial, but knew from the look on her face that she was caught.

“Close the damn door,” Grace hissed, not wanting anyone else to hear their conversation. “It’s why I’ve been so sick.”

“When? Aren’t you on the pill?”

She blushed. “When he was here to visit. I think I just forgot about the pills when things got so out of hand. I’ve never been good with medication and John and I always used condoms. Drew’s the only guy I’ve ever not used protection with.”

“So, how far along are you?”

“Almost eleven weeks.”

“You’re going to tell him, right? Like as soon as you can?”

Grace nodded and smiled. “Yes. As soon as I see him. This isn’t something I want to do on the phone.” She leveled her gaze on Valerie. “I don’t want anyone else to know. Not my parents, not Bidwell,
no one
.”

“Your secret’s safe here.” She smiled. “This is so exciting!”

Valerie wrapped her in a tight hug. The smell of her perfume wafting into her sensitive nostrils. Nausea rose without warning and she pushed Valerie away, running for the trash can. The feel of Valerie’s small, warm hand rubbing circles on her back eased her.

“Sorry. Perfume?”

“Yeah, how’d you know?” she asked, dabbing at her mouth with a tissue.

“I’ve got five younger siblings. My mom couldn’t stand strong scents for most of my adolescence.”

“It’s been pretty brutal. I thought the morning sickness was getting better, but lately I’ve just felt terrible. So tired, my back hurts, my chest is achy, and I’m already feeling squeezed into my pants. I thought it was supposed to take a while before things stopped fitting.”

Valerie shrugged. “I think it’s different for everyone. Maybe it’s twins?”

Grace shook her head. “Nope, ultrasound showed one and one only.”

Valerie nodded and gave her a solemn glance. “What if he’s moved on? Are you going to do it by yourself?”

A deep sadness settled over her and her eyes burned. “If I have to, yes. But he’ll want to be involved with the baby, even if he doesn’t want me anymore.” Her hand reached up to worry at the thistle pendant he’d given her for her birthday. “I’m not going to trap him with this baby, if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m going to tell him I was wrong, that I acted like an idiot, and I love him. After he makes his choice about me, that’s when I’ll tell him.”

Valerie’s face took on an expression of surprise. “You know, for once, I actually agree with your plan.”

Grace smiled, feeling melancholy as she tried to push away the niggling thread of doubt worming its way into her mind.

He’s not with her, he still loves me.

She kept telling herself over and over that no matter what happens, she’ll be at peace with it and move forward.