Restoration (25 page)

Chapter 28

The plane ride was much more uncomfortable this time around. Grace’s bladder needed to be emptied every half-hour and her morning sickness was exacerbated by the close quarters and overwhelming scent of people and airline food. Valerie watched with sympathetic eyes and had a steady supply of ginger drops, mints, gum, and Goldfish crackers at the ready.

“Oh, Val, I’m sorry. This is so embarrassing,” she said, hand on her lower belly.

Valerie shook her head. “Remember, oldest of six kids. I’ve seen it all.” She smiled and handed Grace a ginger drop. “Try to sleep. We’ve got about four hours left before we land.”

She nodded and tried to settle in for the rest of the ride. Her stomach was still queasy, but manageable, while the ginger drop lasted. She slept fitfully, her hips ached in the seat and she couldn’t keep her dreams from focusing on Drew and all of the ways he could reject her.

Valerie shook her awake as the plane began to descend.

“We’re landing.” Valerie looked as nervous as Grace felt. “You doing all right?”

She nodded, her nausea was just a thin veil at the moment. “I can’t wait to get to Braley. Then at least I can be sick in my own bathroom.” She offered a lighthearted laugh.

Valerie chuckled. “It should get better soon.” She looked down at the slight swell of her belly. “You won’t be able to hide it much longer.”

Her heart flipped as her excitement grew. “I know. I can’t wait, honestly.”

Baggage claim was a nightmare; of their four bags, only one made it onto the connecting flight. Grace filled out the delivery forms for each piece of lost luggage and asked for a taxi to be called.

“They said they’ll get our stuff to us as soon as possible,” she grumbled to Valerie as they walked to the taxi stand.

“Ugh, all of my stuff. I only have one change of clothes in my carry on!”

Grace stifled a giggle. “At least yours still fit you! I’m going to have to buy a brand new wardrobe soon.”

“True, fatty.” Valerie elbowed her in the ribs.

“Hey!” Grace smiled and pushed her toward the waiting taxi.

“Where to, ladies?” the driver asked, his cockney accent strong.

“We’re heading to Braley. Here’s the address.” Valerie handed him a slip of paper.

The taxi pulled into the line of traffic and headed toward Braley, the project,
and Drew
. Grace picked at her cuticles and remained tense for the entire forty-minute ride to the town she’d come to love.

As the steeple of the church appeared on the horizon, she felt the butterflies in her stomach increase the beating of their wings. She sucked in a sharp breath when the town came into full view. The town square was full of spring blooms, happy daffodils and tulips sprouted near the benches and along the borders of the paths around town. Cheerful potted pansies were placed under windows and next to entryways of the shops and homes. The driver let them out at the site, still blocked off with police tape and
No Entry
signs.

She felt sick as she observed the damage and said a silent prayer for the family of Mark Ringstad. Thankfully, Mark had a sizable life insurance policy in case of accidental death and the construction company also carried insurance. She felt callous thinking about money, but was happy to know that Mark was able to care for his family even after death.

“God, what a mess,” Valerie said, shoulders slumped.

“Yep. It’s going to take a lot of work to get us back on track here.”

“Good thing we’ve got time.”

They walked around town and made their way to the cozy cottage they’d grown so comfortable in. Mary Kinton was waiting with keys and a welcome basket.

“Oi, you two. Get over here and let me get a good look at ya,” she called from the porch.

Grace smiled, but took pains to cover her middle with her oversized sweater just in case Mary’s shrewd eyes caught sight of the tiny bulge.

“Mary,” Grace said in greeting.

“Terrible business, that.” She gestured in the direction of the site. “I can’t imagine what that poor Ringstad family went through. I’m sorry you had to be gone so long. Weren’t the same round here without you two Yanks.”

“It’s good to see you, too,” Grace said, taking the keys and basket.

“Been keeping the place up for ya. The cleaning lady came by yesterday and the basket’s got some teas and a bit of bread and biscuits. Not much, but it should serve for teatime today until you can get by Ten’s.”

Her heart lurched at the mention of Drew’s store. She knew she needed to see him, talk to him, but her anxiety over the prospect was rising each moment.

“Thanks, Mary. That was sweet of you,” Valerie said.

The cottage looked exactly the same. Doilies still littered every free surface, the afghan Grace routinely wrapped up in while reading late at night was in its usual place over the arm of the cozy chair.

She sighed in relief. “For some reason, I thought it was going to be different.”

“Me, too,” Valerie agreed through a yawn. “I’m going up to my room for a nap. You going to Ten’s?”

“In a bit. I’ve got to work up to it.”

Valerie nodded and headed up the stairs.

Grace took off her boots and padded down the familiar hallway to the kitchen where she set about making some tea. She opened the cupboard and her sweeping gaze locked on the
Likes Time Lords
mug in the front.

She picked it up and remembered the first time Drew had kissed her. His lips on hers, the feel of his breath against her skin, his hands in her hair. A wave of lust crashed over her and almost buckled her knees.
Who
am
I
kidding? I’m not going to be okay if he doesn’t want me. Crap.

All the strong statements she’d been making about her future were crushed with this one memory.

“Val? I’m going to Ten’s,” she shouted up the stairs and left the tea forgotten on the counter while she pulled on her boots.

The walk to Ten’s was short and i
nvigorating. Grace’s pounding pulse set the pace for her feet and adrenaline bolstered her courage. The front of the store was flanked by two large hanging baskets, dripping with blooms of all different colors. She reached up to finger the delicate white flowers that cascaded over and down the side of the large basket. Taking a steadying breath, she walked into the store, ready to face Drew; ready to fight for him.

“Grace?” David Tensley’s face was a mixture of shock and pleasure.

“Hi, David.”

“I didn’t know you were coming back.” His eyes were bright. “Drew didn’t say anything.”

“I haven’t told him yet. We’ve . . . things are . . .” she faltered, unable to find the words she needed.

“You hurt him. He told me about your young man, John. His brother, I suppose.”

She felt the familiar sting of tears. “I know.” She sniffed and met his eyes. “I need to see him. I need to tell him I was wrong.”

David’s face softened. “He’s gone, love. I don’t know when we’ll see him again.”

Her stomach dropped. “Where? Where did he go?”

“He’s determined to find his birth family. Said he had to set himself right.”

A tear slipped past her carefully constructed mask of control. “Well, that’s . . . that’s great. I hope we can still be friends, David. Even if Drew and I aren’t.”

“Dear girl, of course we are. He’ll come round. Sooner or later.”

“What about Sarah?” she asked, afraid of the answer.

“Sarah?”

“He’s with her, isn’t he?”

“Good lord, I hope not! She came round a month or so ago, trying to get her hooks in him at his cousin’s wedding in Surrey. He gave her the boot before she knew what happened.”

A thrill raced through her at his words. “Really? Good.”

She couldn’t help the smile that crossed her lips.

“Don’t lose heart. He’ll come home if he knows what’s good for him.”

She placed the bags of groceries on the kitchen counter and marveled at how her situation had changed. She was a self-dependent thirty-three-year-old woman, with a blossoming career and a baby on the way.

As much as her heart ached to be with Drew, she realized how far she’d come from her co-dependent relationship with John. She smiled as pride bubbled inside her.
I can do this. I can do this.
She repeated the mantra in her head several times as she put away the groceries. Her body ached with fatigue from pregnancy and travel combined. She trudged to her room and fell into bed, sleep crashing over her almost immediately.

“Grace? Grace? Wake up.” Valerie’s voice was distant and muffled.

Grace blinked her eyes open and pulled the pillow off of her head. “What?”

“It’s six o’clock in the evening. You’ve been sleeping for five hours.”

She yawned and stretched her arms above her head. Her stomach grumbled. “Mmm, I need to eat.”

“I ordered a pizza. Is that all right with you?”

“Yes! That sounds amazing.”

She stood and was surprised at the absence of the nausea that had become her constant companion. She padded into the kitchen and tore open the package of crackers she’d bought at Ten’s earlier. As she munched on one with care, Valerie observed her with a cautious look on her face.

“So?”

“So, what?”

“Ten’s? Drew? What happened?”

Grace sat at the table, crackers in hand. “He wasn’t there. His dad was, though. Drew’s gone searching for his birth parents. David has no idea when he’ll come back.”

“Oh, Grace.”

She shook her head. “It’s fine. He’ll be here eventually. The good news is, he’s not with Sarah, never was, according to David. When he does come home, I’m ready to fight for him.”

While they waited for the pizza to be delivered, they flipped through the channels on TV and chatted about mundane things like celebrity gossip. Grace caught sight of her old copy of
Pride and Prejudice
on the bookshelf.

“Hey! I can’t believe I left this here.” She grabbed it and flipped through it. “I haven’t read this in a while. Usually, I reread it every year. John always teased me—” She stopped when an envelope fell out of the middle of the book.

“What’s that?” Valerie asked, interest piqued.

“It’s John’s note. I forgot I put it in here when we moved for safe keeping.” She ran her fingers across the scrawl of her name in John’s handwriting.

“Haven’t you read it?”

She shook her head. “I haven’t been ready.” She sat on the overstuffed chair by the fireplace and stared down at this last link to the man she’d loved so deeply.

“Give me a minute?” she asked, her eyes pleading.

“Yep, sure. I’ll um, go check on the pizza outside. Maybe he got lost.”

Her fingers shook as she tore open the envelope. She forced herself to breathe long and slow as she pulled the single sheet of paper out.

Her eyes filled with tears as she began reading.

My Grace,

I know it might seem dark and dreary of me to write a letter to you in case I die. I hope you never have to read this, but I need to make sure that should something happen to me, you don’t go your whole life without knowing this.

I love you. Now and always. No matter what our situation. I’ve never been very good at telling you that. You’re the one person who’s always been honest with me and loved me openly. I know I sometimes seem closed off and uninterested, but believe me, that’s not the case. I don’t tell you enough, but I love you more than any single person in this world.

If you’re reading this letter, I’m gone. (What a cliché, right?) I hope that by now I’ve gotten the courage to get over myself and marry you and start a family. I hope our kids are grown and we’re old and had a long life together. No matter what, I want you to do me a favor. Find someone to love you.

You deserve to be loved and loved well. I count myself lucky that I got to be the one to love you for as long as I did. If I know you, and I think I do, you’ll box up your heart and feel guilty any time you look at another man. Don’t do that. You need to give me up. Move on with your life and be the person you’re supposed to be.

Find someone to give you the love you deserve for the rest of your days.

Loving you always,

John

She pressed her fingers to her lips in an attempt to stop their trembling.
Why did you wait? Why didn’t you just tell me this?
Her heart ached for what she didn’t get to have with John, for all the things she’d missed, and for the truth in his words. She wished she’d read this letter before Drew, before Braley.

Maybe things wouldn’t be such a colossal mess now.

Chapter 29

It was getting harder to hide her growing belly and Grace sighed as she squeezed herself into a pair of yoga pants and a loose top. She was twelve weeks along and her stomach had the beginnings of a baby bump rather than mere bloat.

Now that her morning sickness had abated, she was able to continue her runs, just as long as there was a bathroom easily accessible at all times. She checked her reflection in the mirror and was satisfied at the camouflage her baggy top afforded before she headed out for a morning jog.

With her earbuds in place and hair swinging in a high ponytail, she jogged along her usual path. Her playlist was happy, positive, and fun to run to. It put a smile on her face as she soaked up the sun of late spring. The sun was rising earlier each day, but she didn’t race to meet it as she used to.

It was still early, six-fifteen, the sky was clear and blue with a bright crispness to it. The town looked so beautiful in the early morning, quiet with the exception of the delivery trucks making rounds to local businesses and the beginnings of people heading off to their offices. A few smiled and waved as she passed by.

Her hips had loosened up due to the prenatal yoga videos she’d started doing daily and she felt good.
The honeymoon period of pregnancy.
She remembered reading about the second trimester and was happy to have finally turned that corner.

She took a deep breath and pushed her speed a little, getting a steady stride that tested her endurance, but didn’t push too far. Her feet hit the pavement in a satisfying and steady rhythm, sending little jolts up her legs. She was easing into her second mile, the path that took her past Drew’s house. It was hard for her to pass by each day and see the dark windows.

A scraping sound brought her attention to an untied shoelace just as she rounded the corner to his street. She bent to tie her shoe and took the opportunity to stretch her hamstrings as she rose.

That was when she saw him.

She had to blink hard and look again to make sure he was really there. He was standing outside, a large suitcase on the sidewalk next to him. He looked tired, scruffy, and incredibly sexy. Her hormones on overdrive, she felt a wave of lust wash over her and the heat of a blush rise in her cheeks.

He was dressed in a hooded sweatshirt of midnight blue and faded jeans that fit just right. His Converse tennis shoes were old and scuffed; she remembered they were his favorite. She stood, watching him as he raked his fingers through his unkempt hair and took his bag in hand. She wanted to call out, but the lump that had formed in her throat wouldn’t let her.

His eyes fixed on her at that moment, as if he’d heard her unspoken words. He dropped his hand from the suitcase and raised it to run across his face. He stared at her in disbelief for what seemed like an eternity.

She didn’t know what to do. Her carefully laid-out scenarios hadn’t included this one. What to say, do, or even think completely escaped her as she held her ground, twenty feet away from the man she loved so desperately.

She lifted a hand and offered a weak wave. A ghost of a smile showed on his lips as he returned the awkward gesture. His face was just as she’d remembered it, causing a bittersweet ache in her chest.

“Hi,” she said as she began to close the distance between them.

“Hi.” His eyes were guarded.

“So, I’m back.”

“I can see that.”

“I’ve got so much I need to say to you.”

“Not now.” His glare was hard.

She dropped her eyes to his scuffed shoes, fighting back tears of disappointment. “I’m so . . . so—”

Before she could finish her apology, his lips were on hers, urgent and demanding. He moaned, a sound so raw her heart hurt. His hand wrapped around the back of her neck, holding her to him. She consciously kept her body away from his, not wanting him to find out her secret accidentally in the middle of the street. He pulled away and stared into her eyes.

“I’m still angry, but God help me, I need you so much.”

“Drew, I need to tell you—”

He put a finger to her lips. “Come with me.”

He took her hand and led her inside, leaving his luggage sitting on the sidewalk. His house smelled of stale air and the emptiness of long-term absence. A thin coating of dust covered the coffee table and entertainment center and there was a tidy pile of mail sitting on the kitchen counter.

David must have come and collected his mail.
Her thoughts drifted to the mundane details of the situation, while she should have been planning just how she was going to tell Drew all she needed to say.

“God, Grace. I can’t be without you, no matter how you hurt me.”

“I’m so sorry. I can’t even explain why I did it. I think I thought I was saving you from me. I let my fear take over. You . . . You deserve so much more than me.”

His hands cupped her face. “You daft woman. You are the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve told you and told you. Why won’t you hear me?”

Tears fell from her eyes as her fears were beaten into submission at his words. “I love you, Drew.
You
. No one else.”

His lips crushed against hers. His need was apparent as she pressed her body to his. Drew’s hands roamed along her sides, down her torso to cup her breasts, heavy and tender.

He murmured against her neck in appreciation. “You’re so beautiful.”

His hands fell to her hips and massaged gently, fingers trailing under the hem of her shirt. Her eyes flew open in alarm as his hands covered the gentle swell of her belly. She stepped away on reflex.

“Grace?” He pulled back, questioning eyes connecting with hers.

“I’ve got some news,” she said, placing a hand on her belly. She took in the widening of his eyes as he realized what she was about to say. “It was when you came to see me. After everything, I forgot my pills. It was stupid. I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” His hands cupped her barely-there belly, a look of reverence crossing his features.

“I’m not trying to trap you. If this . . . us, isn’t going to work, I’ll understand. I just, I don’t want this baby to be without its father.”

“Oh, Grace.” He smiled, a real and true smile, filled with joy and so infectious that her lips lifted along with his. “This is brilliant.”

He dropped to his knees and hugged her to him, his arms around her hips and his lips pressed to her belly. She threaded her fingers through his thick hair and felt hope for the first time in a long time.

Pregnant.

Grace was pregnant
.

He was meant to be a father. His heart swelled, filled with emotions. Drew took a deep breath as he looked at Grace sleeping soundly in his bed, one hand resting lightly on the small swell of her belly. Her words,
I’m not trying to trap you. I don’t want this baby to be without its father,
ran through his head.
How could she think I wouldn’t want her?
She made a soft noise as she shifted in her sleep and he felt an uncontrollable desire to run his fingers through her silky hair.

He’d been holding her just a few minutes before, sleeping curled up against her soft body. Being with her felt right, good, and natural. Being without her had felt like a part of him was missing.

She sighed then and opened her beautiful green eyes.

“Morning,” she said, through a stretch.

“Hello, there.”

“What are you doing?”

“Admiring the view. You make a pretty picture in my bed.”

She giggled and covered her face with one hand, making his breath catch. “No, I don’t. I’m always a mess in the mornings.”

He sat next to her and finally gave in to the urge to touch her hair. “I’m so glad you’re back. I’m . . .” He took a deep breath. “I know we’ve both said and done things we can’t take back now.”

“You didn’t do anything. Stop being so diplomatic. It was me, all of it. I’m sorry for how I treated you. I was wrong and stupid. I said so many awful things.”

He lowered his eyes to his bare feet on the hardwood floor. Could he tell her about the days after she’d ripped his heart out? The time he spent in this very bed replaying the scene over and over, or the endless unanswered phone calls from his dad, Sarah, and even Annette Tilly. Friends from his football team had tried stopping by to see him, bringing take-out, movies to watch, and beer; but they couldn’t get him to budge. He was living in a pit of misery and nothing was going to bring him out of it. The one person who’d forced him from his miserable state was his dad. When his phone calls had gone unanswered, his dad had pushed his way through the stacks of pizza boxes and take-out containers to find him.

“Boy, get your sorry arse up and out of this house and get moving,” he’d boomed from across the room.

“Oi, Dad! Leave me be.”

“The hell I will. What are you doing in here all day? You come back from America and stick your head in the sand.”

He’d turned his face to his father, his eyes burning. “She’s chucked me. Never really fancied me, anyway.” He took a deep breath and swiped his hand across his unshaven face. “Did you know I had a twin?”

David’s eyes went wide as he took a seat next to his son, ready to listen.

“Drew? Are you okay?” Grace’s voice was soft in his ear.

She brought his focus back to the present, to happier times.

“Yes, love. I’m fantastic.”

Her answering smile pushed away all of his memories from the last few months. The hurt and heartache boxed up and filed away to be forgotten. It seemed strange to forget so quickly the deep wound she’d willingly dealt him.

When Sarah had crushed him, the feeling had been so different. Their relationship had been built on a foundation of anger and betrayal, but not entirely unexpected. He’d always known deep down that Sarah wasn’t forever, that she’d eventually find someone better. Losing her was like going off cigarettes. It was hard, he craved her attentions, but he knew she was bad for him.

Grace’s rejection had been a deeper blow. The air around him was a crushing weight and his need for her was more than just a craving. It didn’t matter what she’d said, he couldn’t remove her from his heart no matter how he tried. The minute he saw her, standing on the footpath outside his house, her face bright, eyes shining, the hurtful moments of the past suddenly disappeared. He needed her.

They shared a late breakfast at his kitchen table. Both sat silently, observing the other. He was bursting with questions about the baby; how long she would be here and what her plans were for the future. He was afraid to overwhelm her with his manic-loaded questions, but he had to know the answers.

“Twelve weeks.”

He raised his eyebrows in question. “I’m sorry?”

“That’s how far along I am. Twelve weeks.”

Pride bubbled up in his chest. “When will the baby arrive?”

Baby. The baby. My baby.
A slight knot of panic began worming its way between his shoulders.

“My official due date is November twenty-sixth.” She laid a hand against the small bump. “Right around Thanksgiving.”

“Have you told anyone yet?” He held his breath, hoping desperately that she hadn’t.

“No. Val knows, but she figured it out on her own. She’s got lots of brothers and sisters, so she spotted it pretty easily. Now that I look back on it, I can’t believe I didn’t know.”

“Were you very sick?”

“Almost daily. I thought I was dying, that I had stomach cancer like my grandma. I felt like such an idiot when the doctor asked me if I might be pregnant.”

She laughed and he reached over to run his fingers along the fine bones in her wrist. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

Grace met his eyes. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sorry my stupid self-obsession kept you from being there.” She laughed.

“What’s funny?”

“We’re both sad that you missed out on seeing me sicker than I’ve ever been. That’s just weird.” She continued laughing until tears sprang to her eyes.

“You’re a loon.” He stood and pulled her to him.

“Might be, but I think you fancy me.” She cocked one eyebrow, her beautiful eyes all he could see.

“You might be right, Miss McConnell.”