Rhythm of Us: Book 2 Of The Fated Hearts Series (20 page)

I NEVER WANTED
a game to be over with as quickly as I did that one. I had always been a competitive player, but I turned into a savage beast on the field with the promise of alone time with Xavier in my car bouncing around in my brain.

“You were on fire tonight, bro,” Jack said after we lined up to exchange high-fives. “Bring that with you to every game, yeah?”

“You almost hit for the cycle,” Gray said as he jogged up next to me. “Little extra incentive tonight? Showing off for a certain someone, perhaps?”

“I
was
motivated,” I told Gray. He was the only person who hadn’t urged great caution when dealing with Xavier. I’m not sure if he was clueless about the condition Xavier was in when he returned home or he simply had more faith in Xavier’s abilities to cope and deal with his issues.

“Good for both of you.” Gray playfully punched me in the arm.

“Thanks for not denting your handsome face,” Chase said to Gray as we approached our small fan club.

“Meh, I could’ve covered up a shiner with makeup for you on the big day.” Xavier’s casually tossed comment made everyone laugh but me. How many times had he covered up bruises that his ex-manager gave him? I refused to refer to that guy as his ex-boyfriend, because a boyfriend is someone who cares about you, not beats you senseless.

“You kids all have fun,” Gram told us when we reached the parking lot. “I’ve got enough material to get an outline done, but not until after I spend some quality time with my beau.”

Hugs and kisses were exchanged with the sweet woman and then we split up into two cars. Gray had originally rode to the ballpark with me so it worked out great that he could ride to Bottoms Up with Chase and I got Xavier all to myself.

“Tell me all about your exciting news,” I said as soon as we climbed into the car.

My heart had done funny things like summersaults and backflips when Xavier told me he had planned on calling me to tell me his news. It was a giant leap in the right direction and did a lot to assuage my hurt over not hearing from him sooner. It was harder than hell not calling or texting him, but I knew that distance is all he wanted from me after the stakeout. He had erected a gigantic wall during the short time I talked to Van next to his car. I tried getting him to open up to me that night, but he refused. Giving him the space he wanted was the only option available to me.

“Several months ago, I submitted an original score that I wrote and produced to a big name production company in LA and my music was chosen for a theme song for a new cable series.” Xavier’s excitement pulsated throughout his entire body so hard that I felt the shockwaves. “God, Ben, it’s a huge fucking dream come true for me. I picked up the phone to call you as soon as I received the email.”

“Xavier, that is fucking awesome.” I pulled up to a red light and looked over at him. He was grinning from ear to ear and resisting him was out of the question. I leaned forward and rubbed my nose against his, allowing him time to tell me no or push me away, but he did neither. I raised his chin with my hand and lowered my lips to his, kissing him whisper-soft. My kiss was about celebration, not passion.

“Ben.” Xavier whispered my name against my lips. He fisted his hands in my jersey and deepened the kiss by sliding his tongue between my lips.

A low growl escaped my throat when Xavier took over the kiss, dominating my mouth. Again, I was willing to follow his lead and hoped it would take us back to my bed. I was just getting into the kiss when Xavier pulled back and looked up at me with hooded eyes. I saw his lips moving, but I was so lost in the sheen of moisture on his lips from our kiss that I didn’t hear what he said.

My cellphone rang through my car radio, startling me back to reality. I saw that it was Chase calling me so I hit the button that answered his call.

“The light is green, dickhead.” Chase burst into laughter and disconnected the call. I looked in the rearview mirror when I heard an engine revving up behind me and saw that Chase and Gray were behind us at the light.

“I’m the dickhead?” I mumbled while Xavier grinned.

I drove to the bar with dread sitting in the pit of my stomach, because I knew they were going to rib me to death over the kiss. I decided right then and there that I’d tell them that whatever was happening between Xavier and I was our business and they needed to butt out. The truth was I had no fucking clue what was going on between Xavier and myself, I wouldn’t have been able to explain much anyway.

We followed Chase and Gray inside the bar and I was envious of the ease in which they held hands and the obvious comfort they found in one another. I wasn’t lying when I told Van that I wanted that for myself when the time was right. I glanced over to my right and looked at the sexy man walking beside me. Was it the right time with the right man? Only time would tell.

The team scattered once we got inside the bar; some of them went to the pool tables, some sat at tables, while others chose to go to the bar. My little foursome chose the latter, but we had to split up into two groups since four vacant seats couldn’t be found together.

I held up my hand and waved the bartender, Liam, over so I could order a beer. Xavier ordered a Coke and it didn’t take long for Liam to bring our drinks to us.

“Thanks, handsome.” Liam winked after I handed him cash and told him to keep the change. I looked over at Xavier and found him watching Liam through narrowed eyes and I shamefully hoped it was jealousy over Liam’s flirting, but then Xavier spoke and killed my hope.

“Why does he look familiar to me? I can’t place the resemblance but he reminds me of someone.”

I shrugged my shoulders, because there was something familiar about Liam to me too, but I couldn’t place it either. “So, what happens next with your song?” I genuinely wanted to know.

“I’m going to call my old agent that I had when I first moved to LA and get some advice or possibly find a lawyer who can guide me through all the contract jargon to make sure I’m not getting fucked.”

“I know a guy.”

“An attorney?” Xavier asked then followed with, “Who?”

“Van is a lawyer who specializes in contracts. I guarantee he could help you wade through the quagmire of legal jargon to help you make decisions. Do you want me to call him?”

“Ben, I’m not sure it’s such a good idea. I don’t get the impression that Bevan holds the Cruz siblings in very high regard.” Ahhh! That was the reason behind the atmospheric shift the night of the stakeout.

“Van is a good guy, Xavier, but he’s really jaded because of our parents and the private investigator business he established. He sees the shittiest of the shits this world has to offer, so he tends to be cynical and suspicious.”

“I can appreciate that, but I don’t want it aimed at me. I have enough stress on my shoulders from trying to stay clean and rebuilding my life. That extra scrutiny just makes me itchy and jumpy, which causes him to jump to conclusions about why he makes me nervous.” Xavier took a deep breath and blew it out. “I really wanted to hire him to find my friend, but I haven’t found the nerve to call him.”

“The only thing that will relieve his mind is if he spends more time around you, Xavier. If he gets to know you better then he will like you as much as everyone else does.” I stroked a finger across his high cheekbone. “What’s not to like, huh?”

“I’ll give it some thought, but . . .” Xavier never finished his sentence, because Chase rudely pushed between us.

“I just signed you up for karaoke.” Chase’s broad smile was in direct contrast to Xavier’s look of horror.

“No, Chase.” Xavier shook his head to emphasize his answer. “I’m not interested in performing in front of people anymore.”

“Just one song for me, please? It will be randomly selected by the machine so I promise I’m not trying to set you up.”

“One song,” Gray said as he joined our group. “You’re up next by the way.”

“Fuck me!” Xavier practically growled in response. “Come on, guys. Go up there and remove my name so I can sit here and talk to Ben in peace.” Xavier’s protests were too late, because the karaoke DJ said his name through the microphone. A look of pure misery settled over Xavier’s features when the bar began to clap and call out his name.

I leaned forward and kissed his lips lightly before I pressed my mouth to his ear. “You’ll be amazing and maybe it will help you face down some demons. Get up there and knock us dead. Own the song, the stage, and the night.” I wanted to add that he could own me, but I thought it might be a little much.

Reluctantly, Xavier rose from his barstool and slowly made his way to the stage. The DJ handed him the microphone and pointed to the song that was randomly chosen by the computer. I watched as Xavier’s entire demeanor shifted from uncertain man to seasoned stage performer.

The crowd went wild when the intro to “Buttons” by the Pussycat Dolls began to play. Xavier’s sexy-as-fuck hips began to sway and dip to the beat that was an eclectic mix of hip-hop and Egyptian music. His body became one with the rhythm and my dick pulsated in time with the music and his mesmerizing dance moves.

Then he began to sing, doing both the rapping and the singing in different voices. The crowd easily fell in love with his performance, but I was dangerously close to falling in love with the man. The air whooshed out of my lungs and panic nearly consumed me as soon as the thought formed. I couldn’t be falling for this guy; I hardly knew him. Sure, he trusted me enough to bare his soul to me and I was the first person he wanted to call when something positive happened to him, but that didn’t mean he was developing feelings for me, did it?

Suddenly, I was the one feeling the need for some distance. All the reasons that I didn’t believe in love and happily ever after flooded my brain and overwhelmed me. I had thought about taking a chance and asking him to be my date to Chase and Gray’s wedding, but revised my plan on the fly. No, I wasn’t willing to put my heart out there and watch it get stomped on. My tumultuous thoughts kept spinning around inside my skull like a destructive cyclone, threatening to ruin all the good that Xavier and I started to build between us. I shook my head to rid myself of the negative thoughts, but a whisper of despair remained.

I forced myself to focus on Xavier and watched as he worked the crowd with both his body and talent. Our eyes met through the crowd and he smiled hesitantly at me, as if he were privy to my inner turmoil. I smiled in return in hopes of easing his mind, because none of it was his doing. Xavier had been honest with me from the start and I was the one who falsely hoped for more that he could or would give. And, who the fuck could blame the guy? He’d been through hell and back and didn’t need me putting pressure on him. I needed to walk away and give him time and space to make up his own mind.

“Well, what did you think?” Xavier asked when he arrived back at the bar. He started to take a drink of his glass of Coke, but Liam pulled it out of his hands.

“You left your drink unattended so let me replace it for you, honey.”

“Thanks, Liam. Just Coke on the rocks,” Xavier reminded him before turning his attention on me. “What did you think?”

I think you looked beautiful. I think I could fall in love with you. I think I want to hold you in my arms all night while we sleep.
Those thoughts all ran through my mind, but were left unsaid. Instead, I said to him, “You were really awesome, Xavier.” Maybe the sentiment in my words didn’t show in my eyes, because he looked confused. Fuck! I didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing to cause him any grief or make him feel bad. I looked down at my watch like I was checking the lateness of the hour. “Listen, I need to head on home. Do you want me to give you a lift or did you want to hook a ride with Chase and Gray?” I didn’t trust myself alone with him in my car so I sent up a silent plea for mercy.

Xavier looked down the bar at his friends who were in their own little world. He flicked his eyes back on mine and I saw the hurt and confusion I tried to avoid causing him. “I’ll hitch a ride with the lovebirds.” He answered in a voice devoid of all emotion.

“Congratulations on your song being chosen for the cable series, Xavier. That is a great accomplishment and I’m truly honored that you chose to share it with me.” He looked as if he was waiting for me to say
but
, however, there wouldn’t be one. This was hopefully a
so long
and not a
goodbye
. “I’ll be heading out of town for a few days, but I’ll be back the day before the wedding. I’ll see you then, okay?”

“Sure,” Xavier answered flatly. “Goodbye, Ben.”

“It’s not goodbye, Xavier. It’s so long for now,” I amended before I turned and left him at the bar. Good lord, but the painful vise-like grip on my heart sure felt like we were saying goodbye.