Riding Tall (23 page)

“V
ERY
NICE
,
Kami,” Joe said. “You’ll be riding on your own in no time.”

She didn’t respond, too focused on her task. Joe had clipped two lead ropes to Devil’s halter for Kami to use as reins, hoping to avoid painful jerks to the animal’s mouth when Kami got too excited or became distracted. He had a third rope running between the halter and his own hands, ready to intercede if things went wrong. And Kami
was
pretty excited, but distraction wasn’t a concern at all. Her attention was almost trancelike, and he had to halt the horse and touch her leg, then give her a while to respond every time he wanted to give her instructions.

Luckily, he wasn’t finding he needed to do that many times. She’d ridden before the fire, although not often: the Waltons hadn’t kept horses of their own, and Joe hadn’t bothered to go out of his way to get Kami on the Sutton herd. One more way he could have made the girl’s life less miserable, one more missed opportunity.

Still, she apparently remembered enough to handle the basics. And she was more confident on the animal than he’d expected. Given her fear of falling down the stairs, he’d worried she might panic at the increased height, but she’d shown no signs of anxiety. The whole experiment was a success.

It was about time something went right. Joe was trying not to think about his conversation with Mackenzie the day before. No good could come from thinking.

“Let’s go to the end of the lane and back, and then we’ll call it a day, okay, Kami? You’re going to get cold if we go much longer.” Joe had picked a warm day for this little adventure, the snow soft enough to not be slippery, but a dampness in the air seemed to drain heat out just as effectively as a cold wind would have.

Kami didn’t argue, probably because she hadn’t heard what Joe had said. He opened the gate from the yard, and the dogs trotted over from their observation posts by the railing. “She did pretty well, didn’t she, guys?”

The dogs wagged their tails in agreement, and Kami smiled at them. Apparently only other animals could distract her from the horse.

“Do you want to try a jog?” Joe asked. As expected, he got no response, so he reached up and guided one of Kami’s hands to the saddle horn. Devil’s jog was smooth, and the horse was lazy enough not to go any faster than was absolutely required, so it was safe to push things a little further. “Okay, give him a squeeze,” Joe instructed, and then he pressed Kami’s leg against the horse. Devil yielded to the one-sided pressure rather than increasing his pace; Sutton horses knew the rules. Joe sighed and moved up to Devil’s head. “You’re going to need some retraining if you’re going to be a therapy horse. Come on, now!” Joe tugged gently on the lead rope, quickened his own pace, and kept an eye on Kami as the horse finally broke into a reluctant, unsure jog. “Good boy,” Joe said, and Devil seemed reassured. “Good girl,” Joe said, but Kami wasn’t listening to him. She had clutched the horn when Devil had first changed his pace, but only for a few strides before she found her balance and released her grip, sitting tall and happy in the saddle. She looked good. She looked free.

The end of the driveway came too soon. Joe slowed the horse to a walk and turned them back toward the barn. Devil went about two steps before breaking into a jog again. “No,” Joe said, bringing the horse back to the walk. Another few steps and another jog. Joe didn’t think he’d ever seen this horse move voluntarily in his life. He slowed him again, then turned and looked back at Kami. She was grinning at him, and he squinted at her face, then her legs. “Are you doing it? Are you telling him to jog?”

“Jog,” she said happily, and even through her snow pants he could see her legs tighten around the horse, urging him forward.

Joe let it happen. Devil wasn’t going to work up much of a sweat on such a short ride, and Joe could cool him out afterward if needed. The key thing was that Kami was enjoying herself and taking charge of at least this one small part of her life. There was lots of time to help her learn about being a responsible rider. For this one time, he’d let her enjoy the freedom of being a little irresponsible.

So he jogged beside her, lead rope loose to give her freedom, and when she reached the barn and turned around for another trip down the driveway, he wasn’t altogether surprised and didn’t object. When they finished that loop, though, he held Devil’s head and touched Kami’s calf until she looked at him. “That’s enough for today, Kami. You don’t want to get too tired. I bet you’re going to be sore tomorrow as it is.” The ride hadn’t been too intense, but Kami had been pretty inactive for about half a year, and her muscles must have lost a lot of their strength. “Come down now, and we’ll give Devil a nice grooming, okay? He was a good boy, wasn’t he? Do you think he wants to eat the apple you brought him?”

There was a little fuss as Kami realized how far she had to drop to get off the horse’s back, but she calmed down when Joe put his hands on her waist and helped guide her to the ground. She staggered when she landed, her legs jelly after the exercise, and he helped her over to the bench by the side of the barn. “Okay, you sit. I’m going to walk Devil a little bit, then we’ll untack him, and you can give him his treat. Okay?”

Joe loosened the horse’s girth and took him for a short tour of the yard. He wasn’t really hot, but it was good to remind Kami of the routines involved in caring for animals. He could imagine a world where she’d be able to do this herself. Maybe not the saddling, or at least not until she got a little stronger. Heaving a forty-pound western saddle up higher than her head would be a bit of a challenge for quite a while, and it wasn’t fair to Devil to have someone throwing things at his back without any control. But maybe Kami could go for a ride along the tree line, giving herself a little space, a little freedom. Damn, Joe was glad he’d thought of this. He couldn’t wait to see Mackenzie’s reaction—Oh. Except Mackenzie might not be around long enough to even hear about this. Joe needed to not think about that. There was nothing he could do about it, so he should keep himself from being tortured by the possibilities. The inevitabilities.

He turned back toward the barn, and his stomach lurched a little when he saw the empty bench by the wall. Damn it. Where had Kami gone? Not far, at least. There hadn’t been time for her to put much distance between them. And hopefully her legs were still tired. She’d probably just gone inside the barn or something. Nothing to worry about.

Still, Joe picked up the pace. He was almost back to the barn when he saw the bright red of Kami’s jacket, and his stomach gave another lurch. “Kami!” he yelled, dropping Devil’s lead rope. “Kami, no! Not that horse!”

The girl was bent over, working her way through the rail fence into Misery’s paddock, and the gray mare was staring at the intruder with gleeful malice.

“Misery, don’t you dare,” Joe yelled, running forward.

But he was too far away. Kami straightened up and Misery came at her, ears pinned and teeth bared. Joe roared, but neither Kami nor Misery looked in his direction. That was when a beige blur streaked into the paddock, leaped through the narrow space between the rails, and charged at the mare, growling and barking like a demon. It was Griffin, and Red was behind him, heavier and slower but even more intimidating when he arrived, both of them diving into the space between the girl and the horse and driving Misery backward. Kami stood as if amazed by the show being put on for her amusement, squawking a little as Joe opened the gate and dragged her back through it. She was safe.

“Griffin,” he croaked through a mouth that had gone dry. “Red. Come.”

The dogs backed off with a few extra snarls, Misery following them with the clear intention of winning back the ground she had given up when she was surprised. Joe stepped back into the paddock and stared her down. “You get the hell away from them, you crazy bitch,” he growled. And the horse might not respect the dogs, but she knew better than to mess with Joe. She pinned her ears but stopped moving forward, and when he stepped toward her, she dropped her head and took a step back.

If he pushed it any more, she’d turn her ass and kick at him, but that’d be defensive; he couldn’t blame her for that. And damn it, now that the adrenaline was working its way out of his body, now that Kami was safe, he couldn’t blame Misery for the initial problem either. Joe knew her temperament, he knew what she was, and it was his job to work with that knowledge and make sure she wasn’t around anyone she could hurt. He eased out through the gate and latched it, then turned to the surprised girl crouching to receive kisses from Red and Griffin. “Not this horse, Kami. Never this horse. She’s not safe.”

She wasn’t safe, but Joe kept her on the property. He had some weird affection for her antisocial behavior, and, God, he loved riding her, the two of them working cattle as if they shared one athletic body and one focused brain. Riding a horse like her made the mundane task of moving stock into an adventure and a privilege.

But he could do the job almost as well from an ATV, and a four-wheeler wouldn’t attack an eleven-year-old girl just because the child wandered into its territory.

Damn it. Joe had known what he needed to do, but he’d put it off. It wasn’t just the effort it required for him to look after Misery, it was also the requirements of safely keeping a dangerous horse. He didn’t have the time or energy to do it responsibly, so he couldn’t do it at all.

He looked over the fence at the mare and wondered if he’d be able to find a good home for her. Better to have her put down than send her to someone who’d try to beat her attitude out of her. Or to someone who wouldn’t recognize the warning signs and take the proper precautions. “Damn it, Misery,” he said. “Why you gotta be so mean?”

The horse gave him a contemptuous look and turned to take a nonchalant bite of hay. Nothing exceptional had happened, from her perspective. Attacking children and being chased off by dogs was just the way she liked to spend her afternoons.

Red had left Kami and come to stand next to Joe. “Good work, old man,” Joe said. “You covered for me.” He glanced over his shoulder and saw Griffin still leaning happily against Kami, Kami just as happy to lean against him in return. “You and the doodle. He’s pretty quick, huh? Pretty brave.”

Red didn’t look totally convinced about that, but he wagged his tail in Griffin’s general direction as Joe walked over to Kami and the dog. “Come help me put Devil away, okay, Kami?”

She reached up and quietly took his hand. She trusted him and was willing to be led. He needed to be sure he didn’t abuse that trust. It was his job to keep her safe.

So when he got back to the house he put in a call to a horse behaviorist he’d brought out to work with Misery when she’d first come to the farm. Sherri had helped him figure out some of the horse’s quirks, but she’d said it was always going to be a challenge with a horse so determined to be dominant. Misery would respect individual humans, if they earned it, but she wasn’t the sort of horse that would submit to the entire species. “She knows how strong she is,” Sherri had said, sounding almost admiring. “And in order to do her job right, she has to know she’s faster and smarter than the cattle. She’s not going to be too impressed with someone just because they walk upright and happen to wear clothes.”

“I think I need to reassess,” he said now. “Can you come out and give me an opinion on her, where she is now? And maybe help me find her a new owner, if you think that’s safe.”

They made an appointment for early the next week, and Joe tried not to think about it as he put the phone down. No Mackenzie, no Misery. All his guilty pleasures, the relationships he couldn’t justify but couldn’t abandon. He needed to be strong. And he needed to not think about any of it, not if he was going to have a chance of getting through the day.

“I’m going to start dinner, Kami. Can you help set the table? Here, let’s start with forks. Put a fork at each place, please.”

Kami shuffled off toward the table. They left the placemats out most of the time, and Kami would set places at all of them, regardless of whether there was someone expected to fill that place. It was just easier than trying to predict who’d be there and then trying to communicate that to Kami. They’d build up to that, someday.

Joe was slicing vegetables and Kami was placing napkins when the mudroom door banged open. Joe glanced over, then set down his knife. Ally had borrowed the truck to get to school that day since she’d had some appointment in the afternoon. Lacey had gone with her, and they’d agreed to pick up the kids at the day care where they went after school. So he wasn’t too surprised to see the four of them coming inside. But they weren’t alone. Will was there, and Sarah, and Jean the social worker, and was that Lorraine, the woman who lived across from the church, who’d taught Mackenzie to play euchre? And Vince Deacon, the captain of the volunteer fire department. Andrew Stark, wearing his OPP uniform, and Kathryn Webb, the principal at the elementary school. Clayton MacIlray was there too. He was a plumber, for Christ’s sake. Was there something wrong with the plumbing?

And at the end of the parade, proud as a mother duck, came Mackenzie. They all crowded into the kitchen, and Austin ran over to be picked up for a hug. “Lots of people!” he said happily. He kissed Joe’s cheek and then beamed at the visitors. “We should have cake!”

“I don’t have any cake, little man. Sorry.” Joe wasn’t sure what else to say, and thankfully Mackenzie edged his way forward to take charge.

“I need to talk to Joe for a couple minutes. If you could all wait in the living room, that’d be great. We won’t be long.” He glanced in Joe’s direction, as if aware that the truth of the final statement depended at least a little on Joe’s cooperation, and smiled tentatively.

They stood without speaking, waiting as the procession shed boots and outdoor clothes and headed for the living room. Will and Sarah both frowned at Joe as they passed, and Sarah whispered, “If you don’t listen to Mackenzie, you will damn well be hearing about it from me!”

Ally was a little gentler, clearly torn between trying to act like an adult and wanting to bounce with childish excitement. “It’s going to be good, Joe. You just need to let it work!” Then she took Austin from Joe’s arms and turned to gather Savannah and Kami. “Special treat today, guys! TV
before
dinner! Come on, we’ll watch upstairs!” She looked over her shoulder at Mackenzie. “I’ll get them settled, then come back down.” Then she smiled at her brother. “Let it work, Joe. We can do it.”