Rise (War Witch Book 1) (83 page)

"Made you look the part of a pirate," he chuckled.

Chara considered that for a moment, tossed him a smug look and left him to go see what was left of her little family that she could salvage, if anything.

Reaching the inn, Chara gave a quick look around the common room, but saw neither Ramora or Esteban. Not sure if that was a good sign or not, she headed for the stairs, only to be waylaid by Tia. Flustered, the motherly Halfling clucked and fussed over her, worried after she didn't show for any of the daily meals, or came back that night. In a way, Chara found, it was sweet.

Explaining she'd stayed with a friend after she and Esteban had argued over something silly, she saw Tia relax. The Halfling explained that it was like that at times, but one argument didn't mean anything. She and her wife, Layrn, argued all the time, but always made up soon after. It was part of being in a relationship.

Offering her a kind smile, Chara had agreed, doubting they argued about the same things she and Esteban had. Attempting to go find out if she was, in fact, still in a relationship, the matronly little woman held her up again, telling her Ramora had been taking her meals in her room, and hadn't been out all day yesterday.

Bothered by that, Chara promised to check on her, and was handed a tray bearing the warrior’s breakfast. Feeling slightly hoodwinked by the kindly innkeeper, Chara finally made her way upstairs, pausing outside her friend’s room to stare at the door to the one she shared with Esteban.

A nagging sense of dread laced with guilt plagued her. If he wasn't there, she would know, and though she knew she had no right, it hurt to think of him being gone. In a way, perhaps, it would be best if he was. He deserved a better sort of woman than her. Someone who could return his kindness, and gentleness, the way he deserved.

Setting that aside, she decided to face Ramora first, and clear the air with her. She knew the warrior was only trying to look out for her, and take care of her, but she also needed to understand that Chara was capable of making her own choices in life, even if they went against what the Blessed thought best.

Figuring her to be up by now, Chara knocked lightly and opened the door, her greeting failing on her lips as soon as she stepped into the room. Spotting Ramora lying tangled up in the rumpled bedsheets with Izra, she sighed and shook her head.

Ignoring the knife pain of jealousy that fluttered through her, she smiled, seeing the look of peace and contentment on the warrior’s face. Her skin, pale and creamy, against Izra's, dark toffee bordering on black, was simply too beautiful to ignore. As was the way the flaxen blonde of Ramora's hair looked against the Deep Elf's bone-white locks as the two curled together, holding each other close even in sleep.

She admired them a moment, her smile growing as she set the tray on the floor quietly. They were both too beautiful together to not be, she decided. Easing out of the room, she closed the door gently, leaning against it for a moment, feeling happy and sad at the same time.

Chara knew that had things been ever so slightly different, it would've been her holding the warrior now. She wouldn't look as beautiful, perhaps, with her average looks, especially put against the ravishing Elf, but it still would've been good, she believed. That wasn't how things were, though, and she eyed the door across the hall in trepidation.

No, it wasn't how things were. They were different, and like it or not, she'd made that choice, and now had to live with it, good or bad. She was hoping for good, even as she had a flash of Nerec atop her. Against everything, she hoped for good.

Stepping into the room, she found Esteban lying across the bed, staring at the ceiling. Seeing her, he sat up quickly, leaving the two simply watching each other for a moment, neither saying anything.

"I was worried when you didn't come back," he finally said. "Where were you?"

Chara felt a flare of temper and tried to push it down. "You're the one who walked out. Last thing you said to me sounded like you weren't coming back, too."

He grimaced and nodded. "You're right, of course. I was just worried for you."

"Yeah, everybody seems worried for me lately," she sighed, closing the door and leaning against it. "It's getting pretty old, if you must know."

Esteban hesitated, sitting and watching her with a sad look on his face. He tried desperately to think of something to say, but ended up just looking embarrassed and tired.

Seeing it, Chara nodded slowly. "I do get it, you know. I want to protect you, too. The thing is, I don't want it at the expense of you being happy."

Pointing at the sword she now carried, he asked, "This is what will make you happy?"

"I don't know about happy," she said with a soft laugh. "But I know it's what I want to do, and need to do."

"I guess that's something I can't understand, then," he replied, looking at the floor. "After what happened at the castle, I want nothing more to do with any of this."

"Then you and I have a problem," she said.

He nodded. "I'm aware. Though, I think I could've expressed my desire a little better yesterday."

She smiled at him. "And I could've reacted with less anger."

Glancing back up at her, he gave a slight nod. "What I want, beloved, is to know that we're going somewhere. You and I. That we're not simply trailing after Ramora. I do not begrudge her this quest. It’s admirable that she wants to avenge her loved ones, and protect the world. However, I sometimes feel as if we're doing nothing but following her for lack of anything better to do."

Pushing off from the door, she crossed the room with thoughtful steps, weighing what he'd said as she unbuckled her gun belt and released her sheathe straps, laying her weapons aside.

"I'm not sure where we're going, Esteban," she finally said. "I've honestly never given it much thought."

"I see," he replied, voice soft and hurt.

"No, you really don't," she assured him as she turned, leaning against the dresser. "I haven't because I assume we are going somewhere. I don't know where, but I took it for granted that we were, I suppose, and never considered that you might want to make actual plans for a future."

"It would be nice," he admitted.

"I understand that," she acknowledged. "So, let me ask, what do you want for the future?"

He hesitated, mulling that for a moment before looking up at her with a sheepish grin. "I don't actually know."

Chara gave a short laugh, running a hand through her hair. "Well, that doesn't help much, now does it?"

"All of my life," he replied. "I had father there to tell me what to do. With him gone, I feel as if I'm drifting, with no clear purpose in mind. The only constant, the only thing I do know, is you and my desire to be with you. Beyond that, I'm not sure how I even fit into the world, or if there is a place for me."

"There's a place for everyone," she told him. "Or so I want to believe. I can't say it's true, but I prefer to think it is than consider the alternative."

"I would like to find mine," he said softly.

"And I want you to find it," she replied, finally moving to sit next to him. "Esteban, I need you to understand this, though. I've found my place. I know what I want to do with my life. I want you there by my side, for all of it. If that isn't someplace you can be, I need you to tell me so now. We can't go on like this, trying to pull in two different directions. It isn't fair to either of us."

He eyed her painfully, weighing her words carefully. Rills’ advice came back to him, about loving someone enough, and he chose, in that moment, to lie to her. "I want to be by your side, Chara, no matter what."

"Okay, then," she smiled, caressing his cheek. "We know what we need to do, don't we?"

"We do," he smiled.

He hadn't wanted to lie to her. He'd wanted to tell her the truth. It had been his plan since he'd laid in bed the previous night without her. To simply let her know that as much he loved her, he couldn't face another battle like the one they'd seen. It was too horrific, too devastating, for him to be in the middle of it again.

He'd wanted to tell her that he wasn't sure he loved her enough for that. Looking into her eyes, though, his resolve melted. He did love her enough. He knew that. More than enough. No matter what he had to face, he wanted to be by her side. So, he lied, and buried the guilt for it deep, where he couldn't feel it, and convinced himself he'd always known it would go this way.

More than that, however, was his fear of being alone. He'd never had to face that, and it frightened him even more than the idea of being swept up in the war between Heaven and Hell. As ashamed as it made him of himself, he knew, he'd rather face horror at Chara's side, than life alone.

"A few things we need to agree to, then," she said, reaching out to hold his hand. "I'm not big on possessiveness. I don't need a bodyguard. I'm not a weak little girl, and you, my love, are not a knight in shining armor come to rescue me."

He grimaced. "I know all this."

"Good, then you can stop trying to be attached to my hip," she said. "Just because I go somewhere doesn't mean you have to go with me. It's okay for you to go places on your own, too. You also don't have to glare at every single person who so much as looks at me."

"I don't do that," he muttered.

"Yeah, you do, and it's annoying," she chided. "I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. I've got two mystic handguns and a Heavensteel sword now. I'm not going to be kidnapped and hauled off by scary men."

Esteban tensed a little. "It's not bad to have someone to watch your back."

Chara cocked an eyebrow. "You're doing it again."

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just don't know how else to act."

"Like you trust me," she suggested.

"I do trust you," he admitted. "It's everyone else I'm suspicious of."

Chara had to admit, he really had that backwards. She considered for a moment telling him everything, but seeing the gentle look in his eye, his sincere concern for her, she decided to take Mastiff's advice, and forget it ever happened. To treat the entire thing as if it meant less than nothing. For Esteban’s sake, it was the best thing she could do.

"No more being clingy," she said.

He frowned. "I'll do my best."

"Good," she nodded, squeezing his hand. "Now, I'm freaking starving. How about we go find something to eat, and then take a nice long walk around the city, just the two of us. Okay?"

"That does sound nice," he admitted.

"I'll even leave my weapons here," she smiled. "So you can play the dashing hero should the need arise."

He gave her a slightly sarcastic look. "Thank you. I'm honored."

"Figured you would be," she smirked.

As the two rose, hugged, and left the room, Rakiss sighed in relief. Whatever Rayne had done, Chara's aura was back to looking mostly normal, and the weaving of her emotions he'd done remained more or less intact. Perhaps he should not have been so harsh with the Half Elf.

Following them, he paused in the hallway as he spotted a dark-skinned man with a twitching black tail. He knew him, of course. Loril, Ascended of Zastra, attached to the Blessed known only as Zoe.

The Underworld Goddess' cleaner squad was already aware of Chara. That couldn't be good. Eying the other demigod for a moment, Loril watched the two head down the steps, chewing idly on a toothpick. Rakiss decided it was best not to get too antagonistic with this one. The look the other Ascended tossed him told him he would regret it greatly.

Tossing the toothpick away, Loril headed down the steps, paying no more mind to Rakiss. Bothered by this, he hesitated. Zastra was already aware of how things stood, otherwise, Zoe wouldn't be watching Chara. Any misstep on his part now could lead to a quick and brutal death for the young woman.

With events proceeding faster than he'd anticipated, Rakiss decided to simply keep an eye out for Loril and Zoe both. With luck, he could intercept them before they could act.

"We'll find out soon enough," he mumbled to himself. "Heaven forgive us all when we do."

Ramora woke to find the afternoon half gone, the sunlight coming through the window dim. Stretching, she yawned and figured it wouldn't hurt anything at this point to simply laze in bed a bit longer. She owed herself that, she thought, after the darkness that had clouded her life recently.