Risk It All (Risqué #2) (17 page)

Being with him, moving on him, using her body to prove to him the strength of their bond, it was all that she needed now because this moment was meant to be, and the last six and a half years apart had been leading right until now. They were destined to collide here, like this, and every step of the path that they’d been on was designed to make them appreciate what it was to be so completely loved by another. It was such a tragedy that this love could have no future.

Slanting her mouth over his she kept moving and kissed every joy and agony she was filled with into him, building to their release. The sweep of his hands over her skin enlivened her and she moved faster when his hands began to work her breasts, fondling and massaging then sliding to her waist and her hips to direct their movement.

Letting him take over some of the strain, he worked her body, giving her a rest until he dipped his head and kissed her nipple. Flicking his tongue over her sensitised peak, she fell against him, languishing in the pulses of orgasm that caused a flood of her own juices. The impact was hard, winding her tired lungs and exhausted thighs.

Blaser again took her hips and spread his to part hers further and give himself some more room. He drove up into her and back out. Taking her onto her back would have been easier for him, but he didn’t, he maintained their positions as she’d requested them.

When the orgasm began to build again, she bolted back onto her knees and began to move in time with his thrusts until the volume of his grunts increased and the rhythm revealed that he was close to his own climax. Trying to withhold her own was useless, now that the gates had been opened, her body welcomed the release.

With her mouth wide and her head flung back, she shouted his name and that was enough to propel him into his own orgasm, his hips high on the bed he pushed all of himself into her and panted until the last of his seed had left his glans.

His body flopped down with hers on top of it and when he wriggled down to take them into a lying position, neither of them moved. They just remained locked together, their sticky bodies still joined and the strength of his embrace protected her.

Bri closed her eyes and tried to relax. Letting go of the obvious was too difficult and while he arranged them into a position for sleep she went along with it, but knew that she couldn’t spend the night because if she stayed in his bed tonight, she would never want to leave it again and she couldn’t be weak, not anymore. She had to put up a fight and stand up for what was right because keeping the peace wasn’t enough, not now.

Blaser had dreamt of the future and the main character had been Brianna Wilcox. Already his subconscious was making plans and his physical self was ready to put them all into action when he opened his eyes.

Turning over in the bed, he reached for her, hoping that they could have a repeat of their festivities before he began to discuss what he wanted their lives to look like. He couldn’t wait to talk to her, and find out about all of her dreams for what was to come. But the bed beside him was empty.

Sitting up, he looked around the room, expecting to see her somewhere around, except he was disappointed. ‘Bri!’ he called out for her, assuming that she was in the bathroom.

When there was no response, he got up and searched the whole apartment, but she was no longer here. The only thing he found was a note on the kitchen table, which simply said, “Give me time.” Reassured that he didn’t have to panic that she might have fled town, he assumed that she was just upstairs in her apartment.

His initial impulse was to get dressed and go straight up there, although if he did that he could set her back and he didn’t want to put pressure on her. Except, he didn’t want her to think that he wasn’t going to support her.

Dropping the note, he ran his hands through his hair and fixated on the door. She had left him in the early hours, which probably meant she hadn’t slept. He didn’t know what she was struggling with, whether it was their physical intimacy, or what he had done that night before they were joined.

But she needed space and as much as he wanted to go to her, he had to show her respect and that meant being understanding of her wishes. There was no way he would be going back to sleep now, so he began to make coffee and turned on the shower. He would get ready for his day, but after he was sure she would be awake he planned to check in with her, if for no other reason than to confirm that she was still here. He had to make clear to her that running away wasn’t an option and he’d give her all the space and time she required.

Giving up on their relationship had cost him and he knew now that walking away from each other wasn’t what was best for either of their lives. But he had fucked up royally last night by taking part in that event at the club.

He would go to her and explain just what had happened and let her know that he was wrong. If she forgave him then he could be sure to never be involved in anything illegal again, he would just have to make her see that she wasn’t the cause of his mistake. But she could be the remedy because without her he didn’t know what point there was to carrying on making a success of his life. His success was all for her and now he wanted to share it.

Bri hadn't managed to get much sleep at all. Her thoughts warred with her emotions and now she had her hormones to contend with as well. Sleeping with him had seemed like a great idea at the time. But now it only complicated things.

As soon as she heard the first glimmer of movement elsewhere in the apartment block she took that as an indication that the time was respectable enough to visit a neighbour.

Locking her own door, she went two down and knocked. The rapping sounded much more urgent than she'd intended it too because she did it so fast. Her nervous energy was just desperate to escape in any way that it could.

Dax opened the door and her disappointment made her body sag, except her interest in the bruise on his jaw and the cut on his cheek made her forget her own troubles.

‘What happened to you?’ Bri asked Dax.

Yawning and scratching his corrugated abs at the same time, Dax propped himself on the doorframe. ‘She’s a bitch when she only gets one orgasm a night,’ he said. ‘What do you want?’

‘Ivy did that? Ivy… she hits you?’ Bri had been around domestic abuse, but she would never have figured a guy like Dax would take a beating from a woman. From the look of his injuries, she would assume that Ivy put up quite the offense.

Snatching his hand, she was looking for defensive wounds but instead saw fresh white bandages, wrapped around his knuckles. Dropping his hand, she took a step back, blinking at the predator she hadn’t known lived on her doorstep. ‘Did you hurt her?’ Bri whispered, terrified at the ordeal her friend must have undergone while she was downstairs making love with Blaser.

Dax was off the doorframe but wasn’t perturbed by her accusation because he yawned again. A hand appeared over his tattoo, and Ivy drew him back to come into view herself, giving Dax leave to slink off back inside. ‘I put up with a certain level of his jerkiness, but he’d lose me if he hit me with anger.’

Bri didn’t know why anyone would hit another person except in anger. A few of the jumbled pieces fell into place and she pounced forward, into the doorway. ‘He was with Blaser last night, wasn’t he?’

The jovial expression on Ivy’s face greyed, Bri had just put her new friend on guard. ‘Don’t ever ask me about what Dax does or where he is. Even if I gave you answers to your questions, you would never understand them.’

Ivy began to close the door, but Bri moved against it, putting herself over the threshold. ‘I had sex with him.’

The door stopped and Ivy’s curiosity brought her forward. ‘What?’

‘Not Dax,’ Bri stuttered. ‘With Blaser. I’m sorry, I… my question wasn’t really about Dax, it was about Blaser. I know that he was doing something illegal last night. I know he broke the law and… he promised so many people that he would never do that again. But he risked it all, Ivy, how can I turn my back on him when there’s a chance he could lose everything because of me?’

‘Then don’t turn your back on him,’ Ivy said, then sagged back. ‘You should come in for coffee.’

‘Won’t Dax—‘

‘He’ll be sleeping already,’ Ivy said, moving out of the doorway to welcome Bri in. ‘He’s not a morning person and he was out late.’

‘But you were both awake when—‘

‘I like morning sex,’ Ivy declared, going to the coffee maker and loading it up. ‘We have a sort of deal where I get mine then he gets to sleep for as long as he likes, and with Dax, that can be a long time.’

‘What does he get in exchange,’ Bri asked, seating herself at the kitchen table when Ivy put mugs out on it. ‘Other than sex, I mean.’

‘He likes to get his at night when he comes home from work. So I stay awake, or get up, to welcome him home.’

‘You two seem so…’

‘What?’ Ivy asked, making toast and pulling out eggs, which she proceeded to split. ‘What do we seem?’

‘In perfect sort of sync, I’d guess that you’d known each other forever if I didn’t know how you actually met.’

Ivy whipped up the egg whites and began to make an omelette. While it was cooking, she poured coffee into the mug that she’d put on the table for Bri. She spent time tidying up and washing the dishes that she’d dirtied and then she sat down opposite Bri at the table after checking on the food.

‘We have known each other forever,’ Ivy said, slurping her own coffee. ‘We might not have physically met, but we came from the same place, surviving on the streets and doing what we had to in order to get by. Dax fell on his feet for a while, if you could call it that, and I didn’t. Though I managed to stay on the right side of the law, for the most part.’

‘But Dax didn’t?’ Bri asked, watching Ivy rise to split the toast and omelette onto plates.

‘Don’t ask me about Dax,’ Ivy said, licking a spilled drop from her finger then presenting Bri with the food.

‘I just… Blaser got himself into such a good place after he came out of prison,’ Bri explained while Ivy tucked into her own food. ‘He promised his brothers that he wouldn’t break the law and then as soon as I come back into his life it’s one of the first things that he does.’

‘How do you know that he did?’ Ivy asked, washing down her food with some coffee.

‘I waited in his place last night and confronted him.’

‘And he told you what happened?’

‘Not exactly, I didn’t ask for specifics. But I know that he did something that he thought would help with the Rafe situation… Everyone told Blaser that I was bad news, and he stands up for me every time. But from the outside looking in, everyone will assume that I put him in this position on purpose.’

‘The trouble wasn’t yours to start with,’ Ivy said, pointing to Bri’s plate and urging her to eat. ‘This Rafe guy shouldn’t be coming after you, but he is. The only way to get rid of him is to run away or stand and fight. You chose the latter, you have to own that.’

‘I do. If I had run away… where would I have gone? My brother is here, or he will be, and Blase… we never got the chance to try again. We were supposed to… we agreed to… he came to Jersey, where I was living and…’ She wasn’t eating anymore and staring at the food on the plate she began to feel numbness overcome her again. This wasn’t like it used to be, she wasn’t numb because of the terror or disgust of the attack, now she felt detached from it like her life had moved onto a different chapter. Except that new chapter may have been about to end as quickly as it began.

‘What?’ Ivy asked. ‘What is it, Bri?’

‘I was raped,’ Bri said. Ivy was no longer eating either and with this confession, she pushed her plate aside and waited for Bri to carry on. ‘I was supposed to go on a date with Blaser, but he was late. I went outside and… I was grabbed off the street and they kept me for more than a week. It only happened once, but the disgusting, snivelling bastard took over my life. I let him take over for more than a year.’

‘But last night, with Blaser,’ Ivy said. ‘Was that the first time…?’ Bri nodded. ‘Wow.’

Ivy was one of the few people who could understand her ordeal to a degree. She too had been kidnapped and held against her will, but she hadn’t had to endure an intimate assault.

‘I had to do it. I mean, I was mad at him for lying and for getting involved with crime again, but… I love him and something about being there with him in the night in that apartment, with his hands on me, it just felt right. It might sound crazy…’

‘No,’ Ivy said. ‘I understand. Hell, I fell in love with the man who was supposed to break me. Our hearts and bodies sometimes overrule our heads.’

‘But it’s so complicated,’ Bri said, shoving away her own food and sinking her head into her hands. ‘There are so many people involved and so many things going on. I have a brother in jail and a gangster after me for money. Blaser is trying to run legit businesses that he may well lose now that he’s broken the law. He could go back to prison… his family could… they’re going to hate him and it’s my fault.’

‘They’re not going to hate him.’

Sitting back, she kept a hand on her cheek. ‘He promised Colt and Ruger that he would never be involved in anything shady again.’

‘Who says they have to know?’

‘Asking him to be dishonest—‘

‘You don’t have to ask him to do anything,’ Ivy said. ‘He’s a grown man, Bri. His family have to realise that he’s made his own decisions. You know what it’s like to be forced to do something against your will, and I do too. Implying that you’ve done the same thing to Blaser insults both you and me.’

Bri could understand what Ivy meant. Although she still felt that it was her influence which caused Blaser to act in the way he did, but that wasn’t at all the same thing as being forced to act at gunpoint. ‘I suppose so…’

‘I went through this with Dax, he made his own decisions, and until he took ownership of those decisions he was going to let other people direct his life and his actions. I left him to prove to him that he would lose me if he let others keep that control of his life. You know what it did? It scared the shit out of him and almost as soon as I was gone he came after me. He made the decision to take control and make his own decisions.’

‘Blaser has control of his life,’ Bri said. ‘It’s not him I’m worried about. It’s his brothers and his liberty I’m worried about.’

‘You didn’t make the decision for him. He chose to break the law and you chose to let him know that you weren’t happy about it. Other people can go to hell, if they choose to shun Blaser then that’s their decision and you can’t make it for them. The only thing you have control of is your own decisions, your own actions… Have you spoken to anyone about the rape?’

‘Lyssa.’

‘Colt’s girlfriend, uh, fiancée,’ Ivy said. ‘I remember her.’

‘She’s a therapist who specialises in sexual dysfunction, and part of that involves dealing with abuse victims. Blaser told her about what happened and he recommended that I go to her. I’ve only been a few times, but she’s really great.’

‘Good,’ Ivy smiled. ‘That’s great. She must know what she’s doing if you screwed Blaser’s brains out last night, right?’

Appreciating the smile, Bri returned it. ‘I can’t keep going to her if I stop seeing Blaser.’

‘Sure you can, she’s a doctor,’ Ivy said.

‘I’m not sure that I’ll be welcome there. Colt already doesn’t like me and… once he finds out what Blaser did he’ll be mad.’

‘Lyssa isn’t the type of person to let Colt dictate to her, she’s a strong woman.’

‘Yeah, well…’ Bri squirmed in the face of her next confession. ‘I told Lyssa something quite personal about who was involved in what happened to me… I think that if Colt finds out I made that accusation—‘

‘What accusation?’

‘The youngest of the three Warners, Ruger…’

‘I haven’t met him,’ Ivy said. ‘He’s been gone since I got the job with Blaser.’

‘He gets along with everyone and everyone in the family loves him because he’s such an easy-going, happy-go-lucky guy, except…’

‘What?’ Ivy asked.

‘He disappears for long periods of time for his job and no one really asks questions, I don’t know what Colt thinks he does. I didn’t think much of it myself… but Ruger, he was the reason that I was taken. I never told anyone until I told Lyssa, but if she tells Colt… Colt is so close to Ruge and it could tear their relationship apart if they blame me—‘

‘Who the fuck cares about their relationship? It’s not your fault that Ruger lied to his family, and if you ask me, all that proves is that Blaser isn’t as different from the rest of them as they make out.’

That was a very good point that silenced Bri for a minute. If Ruger was taking part in illegal activities, and had been doing so throughout the years that Blaser had been straight, then that sort of meant that Ruger was actually the worst of the bunch.

‘Babygirl!’ the holler from the other room made Ivy tut.

‘I’m entertaining, tough guy. Jerk off if you’re horny, I’m busy.’

‘Don’t sass me!’

‘Spank me later,’ Ivy called back then leaned across the table. ‘You know Blaser better than all of them. Do you think that he loves you?’

‘I know that he loves me,’ Bri said. Noise from the end of the hall startled her, then a door slammed and the shower went on.

‘It’s just Dax getting ready,’ Ivy said.

‘Blaser told me that he loved me last night.’

‘Do you want to be with him?’ Ivy asked and Bri nodded. ‘Then go get him, girl, and stop letting sense overrule what could be your future. Blaser’s not a bad guy, he’s hot and he’s a sweetheart. You just have to put your foot down and tell him that you don’t want to be with a guy who could get carted off to jail any minute. You’re already dealing with your brother being in prison.’

‘And my father too.’

‘You want a guy you can rely on, and maybe Blaser hasn’t always made the best choices, but he’s always come through for you.’

‘I have to tell him about Ruger. I can’t lie to him. I haven’t sat down with him and given him details of what happened. But since talking to Lyssa… she says that talking about it helps, and she’s right. A few weeks ago I would never have told you what happened. I thought I had to keep it to myself. But if I’m going to be with Blaser then I have to tell him everything.’