Rogue (15 page)

I nodded in thanks.  He turned on his heel and stormed out of the office.  As soon
as the door closed behind him, Derek released his hold on my neck.  His hand slid
forward to cup my cheek.  He gently turned my face, studying it intently.

“Did they hurt you?”  His voice was rough with lingering fury.

“No,” I said softly.  “Not really.  They just scared me.”  I touched his cheek lightly. 
He was unharmed on the outside, but he was bleeding on the inside.  The loss of control
over his life was killing him.  “Who’s Charlotte?”

He flinched away from my touch at the mention of her name, but I resolutely pressed
my palm to his cheek, keeping him in the moment with me.

“My little sister.”  The admission was tight with pain.

My heart twisted for him, but I pressed on.  I had to.  The truth was the only way
to save him.

“Why would Reyes threaten to hurt her?”

Derek’s expression began to close, shutting me out.  I couldn’t stand the sight of
it.  I needed him, needed his nearness.  Despite my bravado, I was deeply shaken by
what the Kings had almost done to me, and I craved for Derek to hold me.  More than
that, I craved to heal the raw anguish he was so desperately trying to hold inside.

My fingers speared into his hair, pulling him down as I pushed up on my toes.  I pressed
my mouth boldly to his.  He froze above me for a moment, but he quickly responded,
growling as he shoved his tongue between my lips.  His hand closed around the back
of my head, and the other pressed against my lower back, pulling me against him so
that no air separated us.  As he consumed my mouth, my body went supple in his hold,
molding to his.  I moaned into him, grinding my hips against his rapidly hardening
cock.

At the sign of my wanton arousal, he tore his lips from mine.

“No, Sharon.”  His refusal was strained, as though the words pained him.  “This is
wrong.  I can’t do this to you.  Not after what just happened.  I can’t be this person.”

His handsome features were tortured.  He needed to possess me so badly after seeing
their hands upon me.  He needed to control me to somehow counteract the chaos in his
life.  But he didn’t want to be the man he had claimed to be in front of the Kings. 
He didn’t want to be the sadistic bastard who punished me to put me in my place.

“It’s okay, Sir,” I assured him softly.  “I know you need this.  Let me give it to
you.  I know you won’t hurt me.”

His expression turned fierce just before his lips crushed down on mine.  He took my
mouth with a new savagery.  There was no finesse or careful seduction in this kiss. 
There was only raw need and possessive hunger.

When he finally broke away from me, I gasped in air as the world spun around me. 
His hands were at my waist, lifting me up.  My knees came down on something cushioned,
and my body folded forward when he pressed a firm hand into my lower back.  It took
several puzzled seconds for my brain to catch on.

The spanking bench.

Derek gripped my wrists, pulling them forward before cuffing them in place with soft
leather restraints.  My ankles were similarly secured.  His work was done before I
even managed to catch my breath.

A little flash of fear popped inside my belly.  I was stretched and spread for him,
completely vulnerable.  And punishment was coming.  I had disappointed him, and he
was going to give me discipline.  I craved the absolution I would attain as much as
I feared the pain.

“What…”  My voice trembled.  “What are you going to do to me?”

His fingers traced the lower curve of my ass before slowly lifting the hem of my short
skirt.  My tiny black thong did nothing to protect my modesty.  I shuddered at the
exposure and at his light touch.

“I’m going to punish you.  But you already know that.”  He gripped my pussy roughly,
rubbing his palm against my wet folds.  I whimpered under the assault, torn between
shock and arousal.  “And you want it.”  He pressed harder.  “Don’t you?”

“Yes, Sir!”  I gasped out.  My inner walls fluttered, desperate for him to penetrate
me.  I pushed back against him.

He removed his hand, chuckling when I whined at the loss.  Cool air brushed over my
skin as his heat moved away from me.  I craned my neck back to find him studying the
wall of impact play implements.  His head was cocked, considering.  My stomach flipped
when he selected a long, thin cane.

Derek had only hit me with the soft flogger and his hand.  I suspected this had a
harsher sting.  He turned back to me, reading the trepidation in my eyes.

“Yes, Sharon.  This will hurt.  It’s supposed to hurt.  It’s a punishment.”  He explained
my impending torment as though it was the most natural thing in the world.

And in some twisted way, it was.  I longed for his correction, for the structure of
his unique brand of intimacy.

The cane cut through the air with an ominous
swish
, and I tensed.  Derek stayed his hand at the last second, and it barely tapped my
skin.  He began a light beat of staccato taps, moving the hits up and down, distributing
the warmth of the little impacts.  It didn’t hurt at all.  If anything, it was pleasant.

“Did you break into my office?”  Derek asked calmly.

I screamed when fire seared a horizontal line across my ass.

The taps resumed, and I gulped in the air I needed to answer.

“Yes, Sir,” I gasped out.  There was no point lying about that.  Derek knew his office
had been locked.

“Why?”

A second burning line elicited a broken cry.

The soft tapping started up again.  It helped spread the heat from the throbbing twin
stripes, making it more bearable.  And somehow, that heat spread between my legs. 
It pulsed into my core and my clit.  I twisted against my restraints, but not in an
effort to escape the pain.  My body was alight with need, and I was desperate for
any stimulation I could find.

“Why?”

Another stinging blow called my attention back to him.

“I wanted to surprise you.”  I only just managed to remember my lie.  The honesty
of my submission saved me from his usual perceptiveness when it came to my deceit.

“You betrayed my trust,” he informed me.

Fire exploded across my sensitive thighs, and my scream turned to a choked sob.

“Are you sorry for that?”

“Yes, Sir.  Yes, I’m sorry.”  I wasn’t lying.  I hated that I had disappointed Derek. 
I hated that I had forced him to defend me from the Kings and put his sister in danger. 
I hated that I had made him feel the loss of control in his life.  I should never
do anything but help him.  It was wrong for Derek to hurt.

The cane clattered to the floor.  “Such a sweet little sub.”  He stroked my throbbing
flesh.

I wasn’t sure if my tears were from the shot of pain or from his words of praise. 
I reveled in both.  They meant forgiveness, healing.  Blended with my pain and joy
was arousal, hot and insistent.

“Please, Derek.  I need you inside me.”

I needed to join with him, to give him the pleasure he had shown me, even as he gave
me sweetest bliss.

“Fuck,” he groaned, a sound of pained longing and intense relief.  It was accompanied
by the sound of his zipper dropping and a condom wrapper being torn open.  His hand
tangled in my hair, and he tugged my face back to look at him.  He shoved my thong
aside, and his cock was at my entrance, hard and thick and ready to ravage me.

“Watch,” he growled.  “Watch while I fuck your pussy for the first time.”

My moan at his crass words jolted to a scream when he entered me in one thrust.  He
was huge, much larger than any man I had ever been with.  He stretched me mercilessly,
invading every inch of me.

He didn’t pause to give me time to adjust.  The predator was back, the wild beast
that took and consumed and possessed.  He fucked me ruthlessly, and I cried out in
ecstasy at every jarring thrust.  My pleasure was only heightened by the sight of
his cock pounding into me, sliding into my slick folds with ease.

Bliss began to build within me, and I rode it greedily.  I didn’t want this to end. 
I wanted to watch Derek fucking me, feel him filling me, forever.

His beautiful face contorted with his effort to restrain himself.  He didn’t want
this to end, either.

It was the sight of his ecstasy that brought about my own.  I screamed out my orgasm,
and my core began to contract around him.  Pleasure slammed into me, threatening to
make my vision go black.  Resolutely, I focused on the sight of Derek’s pleasure that
he found in joining with me.

“Fuck!”  He came with a curse, and his fist tightened in my hair as he rode out his
orgasm in a last few jarring thrusts.  The tingling on my scalp melded with the sparks
popping under my skin to wash my mind in electric ecstasy.  Another orgasm rolled
through my limp body, and I whimpered helplessly as it took me.

Derek collapsed atop me, breathing hard.  His fingers eased their grip on my hair
to lightly stroke my cheek.

“Fuck, Sharon.”  He whispered my name reverently.  “So fucking perfect.”

I turned my head, searching for his lips.  His found mine, and I drank him in until
I reached drunken oblivion.

Chapter 12

I was practically humming when I stepped out of the elevator into the FBI offices
the next morning.  My ass throbbed with each footfall, and I relished the reminders
of Derek’s discipline.  The pain had been cleansing, and the intimacy of finally joining
our bodies after resisting for so long was glorious.  Even the soreness between my
legs was sweet.

“What the fuck are you thinking, Sharon?”  Smith’s hulking frame suddenly cut in front
of me, and I almost bumped into his hard chest.  I backpedaled a few steps, staring
up at him in confusion.

“I’m coming in to report to Kennedy.”  I didn’t know why I bothered to explain myself
to him, but something about his low, dangerous tone made the words pop out.

Clayton appeared beside Smith, creating a wall of solid muscle that blocked me from
my boss’ office.  To my shock, his expression was equally fierce.

“What’s wrong with you guys?”  I asked, utterly bewildered.

“I warned you about Carter,” Smith ground out.  “I had expected better of you.”

“Back off, James.”  Reed was suddenly beside me.  His hand rested on my shoulder in
a show of support.

Clayton’s fury flared as he turned his attention to my partner.  “And you.  You’re
supposed to be protecting her, Miller.  Kennedy should fire you, rookie.”

My anger boiled to the surface, burning through my confusion.  “What the fuck, Clayton? 
Leave him alone.  He saved my ass last night.”

“No, he didn’t.”  Clayton’s blue eyes blazed hotter than I had ever seen them.  “He
barely stopped the Kings from raping you.  Which he wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t
texted him to let him know that you were in trouble.  And then he left you alone with
Carter.”

“Wait.  What?”  Clayton had texted Reed to let him know that Reyes and Ortiz had me
trapped?  How had he known?

All the blood drained from my face.  Oh, god.  The bug.  Clayton and Smith had been
listening in.  And they had heard…

“Miller left and allowed Carter to take advantage of you, that’s what,” Smith snapped,
recognizing my horrific epiphany.

Reed shot me an uneasy look, but he didn’t leave my side.  “That’s none of your business,”
he defended me staunchly.  “This is Sharon’s op.”  He turned a hard black stare on
Clayton.  “And if what I’ve heard is true, you weren’t exactly hands-off with your
last assignment.  You’re dating Rose Baker now, aren’t you?”

Clayton snarled and took an aggressive step forward.  A strong hand on his shoulder
restrained him.  I glanced around him to find that Kennedy was holding him back. 
His hazel eyes were more green than brown, and they were narrowed to disapproving
slits.  Even worse, they were focused on me.

“I’ll handle this, Vaughn,” he told Clayton coolly.  His eyes flicked to Reed in clear
dismissal.  “You have the day off, Miller.  Go home.”  Reed tensed, ready to stand
his ground.  “Now!”  Kennedy snapped.  “I won’t have bloodshed in the middle of the
damn office.  Get out unless you want James and Vaughn to tear you apart.  We’ll discuss
your performance later.”

Now it was Reed’s turn to look sick.  Dread pooled in my stomach, making it churn
faster.

Had I gotten Reed fired?  He had wanted so badly to prove himself, but he had worked
with me rather than burning me to advance his own position.  Had he sacrificed his
career to help me?

Reed tore his gaze from Kennedy’s, accepting his fate.

“I’m sorry,”
I managed to mouth silently before he turned toward the elevator.  He gave me a jerky
nod, but there was no warmth in it, only defeat.

“Silverman.”  I snapped to attention to find Kennedy’s gaze burning into me.  “My
office.  Now.”

I would have rather run to the bathroom and vomited.  My gut turned and twisted, and
I suddenly couldn’t look any of the men in the eye.

Oh, god.  They heard me having sex with Derek.  They heard me
submitting
to Derek.  I had called him Sir and begged him to fuck me.  They would never respect
me again.  I thought busting Decadence was going to be my biggest triumph, but it
had ruined me.

Fuck, I hadn’t even managed to bust the club.  All I had done was allow Derek to tie
me up and punish me and make me come.

No.  No, that wasn’t right.  I had planted the bug that caught the Kings discussing
a shipment.  And I had found out about Charlotte.  I was so close to proving Derek’s
innocence.

But proving Derek Carter’s innocence wasn’t my mission.  Taking down an entire tribe
of the Latin Kings was.  I had nothing concrete when it came to that.  A few minutes
of audio weren’t going to be enough to move in on them.  We could bring in Reyes and
Ortiz, but they wouldn’t tell us shit.

For one wild moment, I thought about running.  I wanted to run from Clayton and Smith’s
anger, Kennedy’s disappointment, my failure.

But where would I run to?  Home?  I would find no solace in my father’s arms.  They
would wrap around me, but they wouldn’t hold any warmth.  They hadn’t since Mom and
Thomas had died sixteen years ago.

Steven was my next thought.  Steven had been my rock, once.  But I had broken his
heart when I refused his proposal, when I chose my career over him.

The hard truth was that I had nowhere and no one to run to.  There was only my job
and my friendships with the guys, and I had managed to destroy both in those blissful
minutes of ecstasy with Derek.  Had it been worth it?  Had
he
been worth it?

Derek.

I could run to him.  He would hold me and comfort me.  I could trust him with my vulnerability,
and he wouldn’t think less of me for it.  Even in my submission, he respected me.

And he was about to find out that I had betrayed him.  Then even he would be lost
to me.  I had chosen my job over my heart again.

“Sharon.”  Kennedy’s voice was softer this time, but no less authoritative.  I realized
that I had been standing there for several seconds as the full horror of my situation
washed over me.

His office.  Kennedy ordered me to come to his office.

Blindly, I followed where he led.  I didn’t want to disappoint him.  If I did everything
right from now on, maybe I could somehow repair what I had broken.  I could be good. 
I could be perfect.

With that, I found the steely determination within myself.  That steel had been forged
in death and tempered by my father’s apathy.  It had pierced the heart of the only
man who had ever loved me.  Its cold kiss would see me through this.  It was a cruel
thing, but it was strong.

“Sit.”

I blinked, and my focus found Kennedy again.  We were in his office, and the door
was closed behind me.  At least the guys wouldn’t be able to hear him reaming me for
being a weak, incompetent slut.

No.  Don’t go there.

I was Special Agent Sharon Silverman.  Everything I had done had been for my mission.

And for Derek.

Obediently, I sank down into the hard backed wooden chair.  Kennedy settled into his
plush office chair on the other side of his desk.  The way he occupied the space made
it look like a throne.  I waited for the dressing-down to begin.

“I want to start by saying I think you’ve done well.”  His low voice was uncharacteristically
soothing.  “You’ve managed to convince me that the Kings are trafficking drugs through
Decadence rather than casually dealing there.  And then there’s Carter’s possible
ties to the Westies.  This could be a big win for us.”

I just sat there in silence, stunned by his praise.  It was the last thing I had expected.

“But you do realize I can’t allow you to go back in.”  It wasn’t a question.  It was
a decree.  “I understand you want to succeed, Sharon, but there’s a limit.  You put
yourself in harm’s way to stay close to a mark.  I never would have asked you to do
that.  In fact, I forbid it.  I’m pulling you out, and we’re arresting Carter.”

“No!”  The word was a little angry explosion.  “I did
not
sleep with Derek to get more information out of him.  And you’re not arresting him.”

Kennedy’s brows rose.  “I’m not?”  The question was soft, dangerous.

“No.”  I sharply defied his authority.  “He’s innocent.”

“We heard him discussing the shipment with Reyes and Ortiz.  He’s involved.”

“Then you also heard him defending Charlotte.  They’re threatening his sister.  He
doesn’t have a choice.”

Kennedy frowned, considering.  “Even if that’s true, we need to bring him in.  If
we can get him on our side, we might have a real shot at taking down the Kings.  We
can offer to protect his sister if he helps us.  If he refuses, he can go to jail.” 
He said the last with a dismissive shrug.

“You can’t arrest him!  He won’t last one night in prison, and you know it.  The Kings
will kill him to keep him from talking.”

“All the more incentive for him to work with us.”

“You’re a cold bastard, Carver.”  The furious words left my mouth before I thought. 
He was talking about gambling with Derek’s life.

Kennedy stood abruptly, and I couldn’t help but shrink back under the weight of the
menace that suddenly rolled off him.  “I would be very careful with what you say next,
Silverman.”  His voice was barely above a whisper, but it was more terrifying than
if he had shouted.

Gathering my courage, I held his gaze.  “I won’t let you get Derek killed.”

Hours seemed to pass as he stared at me in stony silence, testing my resolve.  Finally,
he gave a short nod and sat down.  I sucked air back into my oxygen-starved lungs. 
I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath.

“We have to bring him in, Sharon.  If he is being coerced, he should be happy to cooperate. 
And if he’s not, he’ll have to take his chances in prison.”  He fixed me with a level
look.  “You do realize that I can’t save him if he’s guilty.”  Again, it wasn’t a
question.  It was a hard truth.  “The best I can do is offer him a deal in exchange
for his information.”

Taking a shaky breath, I nodded.  It wouldn’t come to that.  Derek wasn’t guilty of
anything but trying to protect his sister.

“I want to be the one to bring him in.”  No way was I going to let the guys do it. 
They would probably “accidentally” rip his balls off, given half the chance.  “I owe
him that.”

And if I come clean right away, maybe he’ll be able to forgive me for deceiving him.

It was a thin hope, but I couldn’t help but grasp at it.

“Okay, Silverman.  But I’m sending Vaughn and Smith as backup.  Don’t argue with me,”
he barked before I could do just that.  “Your judgment is obviously impaired when
it comes to Carter, and I won’t have you going in alone.”

Grinding my teeth, I dropped my eyes in acceptance.  If I had to take them as backup
in order to be the one to go in first, I would.  Even if Derek hated me for betraying
him, I would ensure his freedom.  He could hate me for as long as he lived, so long
as he let me help him survive this.

I made Clayton and Smith wait down the hall in Derek’s swanky apartment block.  I
didn’t want them flanking me when he opened the door.  I would go in and calmly explain
the situation to him, and then he would cooperate fully.  That was the plan.

I hoped to hell it worked.

My hand trembled when I rapped my knuckles against his apartment door, but their shaking
did nothing to diminish the sharp sound.  It was an official beat that usually let
perps know I meant business.

A shadow passed over the peephole, and the door opened almost immediately.

“Sharon?  What are you doing here?”  Derek’s expression was dumbfounded, but not displeased.

“Can I come in?”  I could have shown him my credentials and demanded admittance, but
there was no need for that.

“Sure,” Derek stepped back.  “How’d you know where I live?”  He closed the door behind
us.

I sucked in a deep breath and blew it out slowly.  “Listen, Derek,” I began as steadily
as I could manage.  “I have to tell you something.  I haven’t been completely honest
with you.”

“You know how I handle dishonesty,” he warned me.  “Are you so eager for another punishment
already?”  His expression turned hard, but a small smile played around his mouth. 
He thought I was playing a game.

“This is serious, Derek.  I haven’t told you everything about myself.  I’m a Special
Agent with the FBI.  You need to come with me and answer some questions.”

To my amazement, his hint of a smile gave way to a hard-edged grin.  “So my kinky
girl’s into role play.” 

He began to prowl in a slow circle around me.  “You’re an FBI agent.  Am I the big
bad criminal who’s going to take you down?”

Oh, shit.

I pivoted on the spot, keeping him in my line of sight.  “I’m serious, Derek.  If
you don’t come with me willingly, I’m going to have to arrest you.  Please don’t make
me do that.”