Rogue: A Stepbrother Forbidden Romance (2 page)

Chapter two

"What the hell?" Josh asks reaching for his jeans.

I grab my swimsuit tying it on as Josh struggles into his jeans, then we are both moving out the door. He steps out the door just ahead of me. My heart's racing. I don't know how or what but I know something's wrong.

As soon as he opens the door Josh cries out and bursts into motion. I step out behind him and can't make sense of anything. There's a ramp beside the pool made from a couple of buckets and a length of wood. It goes right up to the edge of the pool itself. I look around to figure out why it's there as Josh runs.

He leaps into the air and dives into the pool with a splash. The concrete is wet and slippery under my bare feet but I move as fast as I can. Josh is out of sight under the water. My throat tightens, my heart pounds, my head spins.

I see things in disconnected images that aren't adding up to an entire picture. The ramp doesn't connect to the pool for me. I look down into the water and there, below the surface, Josh is swimming. There's a large object in the pool. That doesn't belong there. I can't make sense of what it is.

He closes with the object. He pulls at it. Strains. It doesn't move. I shake my head, all of this is disconnected from me. It's happening to someone else. This can't be real.

Josh pushes off the pool floor. His head breaks the surface. He gasps in air. He dives again. He's moving so slow, the waves break around him in perfect relief, the water falls from his hair one drop at a time.

He's there under the surface again struggling with that thing which shouldn't be in our pool. Why is there a bike in the pool? Josh rises to the surface again. He's carrying something now. Things start moving faster. I'm on the other side of the pool. I see my hands reaching out, grasping at what Josh is holding. My hands tremble but I don't feel them. I'm not sure they're my hands.

"Take him!" Josh yells.

I do. I grab Danny and pull but he's not moving. He's so heavy! I pull with everything I have. I lean back to get him over the edge and onto the concrete. His lips are blue, his eyes are closed, he lies motionless. I lean his head back. Check for breath. Clear the passage. Pinch the nose. Breathe.

Josh moves beside me placing his hands on Danny's chest. He presses down hard. We repeat back and forth. I push my breath into Danny, Josh pushes his heart to beat. I don't know how long we work. None of it can be real. I'm stuck in some kind of nightmare. I know it's a dream, it has to be. But if it is, why am I not waking up?

Danny coughs hard and water runs out of his mouth. He gasps and coughs some more. Josh jumps and runs for the house. I hold Danny in my arms as tears run down my face. Hoping, praying, screaming at him to open his eyes.

Paramedics take him from my arms then load him into the ambulance. Josh appears wrapping a towel around me. His arm is around my shoulder as we watch the ambulance race away from our house with lights flashing and sirens blaring.

Chapter three

Hospitals are misnamed. They are inhospitable. I shift in my chair. Again. My mother and stepdad sit across from me. Josh paces back and forth. We wait. It's been over two hours since we got here.

The waiting is quiet. There is a low background hum of muted conversation and the occasional call out over the intercom but it's mostly quiet. I watch Josh. He hasn't said a word to me since we pulled Danny from the pool. I have no idea what's going through is mind. I'm not sure what I'm thinking.

Danny apparently had decided to jump his dirt bike over the pool. While Josh and I had been... Danny had thrown together a ramp and then rode his motorcycle down it. Of course he hadn't been able to make the jump. The bike had flipped, then crashed into the pool. They think he hit his head either in the pool or on the bike. Of course he didn't wear his helmet, that wouldn't have been cool.

Josh paces across my line of sight again. If we could be alone, if we could talk, I'd feel better. We should have been watching Danny, yes, but these things happen. If we hadn't been... I don't know.

I look at that. If we hadn't gotten involved would this still have happened?

It turns over and over like a puzzle I can't quite solve. On one hand, maybe Danny wouldn't have been able to build that ramp. Even if we hadn't though, I probably would have gone into the house to read, Josh would have gone to watch television, Danny still would have done what he did.

At last I decide it was going to happen. There was nothing about what we did that made it happen. My mom pats my leg absently staring into space. My stepdad's leg bounces up and down nervously. Neither of them have been accusatory to Josh or me. They both just accept that we did our best. I'm not sure we deserve such cool parents.

The doors to the waiting room open and a doctor in scrubs walks in. "Mr. Kirkson?" he asks approaching our family.

Josh stops pacing and turns to stare at the doctor.

My stepdad stands up and reaches out to take the doctor's hand. "How is he?" he asks.

The doctor takes the hand and shakes it but he never stops frowning. "Your son is very lucky," he says. "He is going to make it. But his brain was oxygen starved for several minutes. We don't know how much effect that will have overall. He also has severe spinal damage. Right now he has no feeling below the waist. I'm afraid it is highly unlikely that he will ever walk again. There may be some learning disability, but we'll have to wait and see how his cognitive tests come back."

"Can we see him?" my stepdad asks.

"Only you and your wife," the doctor says frowning. "We've got him in recovery right now, it's a small space and his strength is not much right now."

The doctor leads my parents away leaving Josh and I alone. I walk over to Josh. He stiffens as I approach.

"Josh," I reach out for him as I speak but her leans away from me, his eyes focused over my shoulder. "Josh, please."

A single tear runs down his face. I reach up and wipe it away. He doesn't react.

"It's my fault," he whispers.

"Josh, no. It's not. You know how Danny is. He's always doing some daredevil crap."

Josh shakes his head negative. His jaw tightens, his hands clench into fists. I cry out. He moves so fast I don't see it. My body reacts as his arm flies past my head, slamming into the soda machine behind me. Plastic cracks loudly as the machine rocks back from the force of his blow.

"JOSH!" I scream in surprise and fear.

He looks at me now. Anger burns brightly. "It's OUR fault!" he yells. His arms shake but he holds them tight to his sides. "If we hadn't... If I hadn't given in... We never should have..."

I reach out for him, my hand trembles uncontrollably. I focus on Josh. Pushing aside my fear, my hurt, his words cut me like a knife but I can't let myself feel that right now. Josh needs me.

"Josh, it's not our fault," I say as my fingers touch his shoulder. He jumps back from my touch like an electric shock.

"Yes. It. Is." He bites off each word through his clenched teeth staring at me. Revulsion, hate, hurt play across his face. "If I hadn't given in, if I'd been strong enough, Danny would be fine."

Tears run down my face and I sniffle back the mucus that threatens to run from my nose. My heart shreds under his attack. I can't catch my breath, short gasps is all I can manage.

"Josh ... no," I say. "I love you!"

He pushes me away.

"I love you Cin," he says his eyes boring into me. "But we can't do this."

He turns away taking a step towards the door.

"JOSH!" my voice cracks as I scream his name.

He stops in the door, his shoulders slumped, head hanging low.

"Don't leave me Josh, please," I say.

For a moment I think he's going to turn back to me. I see it in my mind clearly. He'll turn back, he'll run to me and wrap his strong arms around me, tell me it's all a mistake. Together we can beat anything, our love is strong enough. So clear I see it then he pushes against the door and it swings shut behind him.

I'm alone.

Chapter four

Four Years Later

"Can you believe what Professor Astria expects us to get done? Does she absolutely think we have no other classes or what?" Jennifer asks looking up from her textbook.

"She's nuts, what can you do?" I reply. 

My laptop chimes so I climb off my bed and go over to the desk. My dorm room is small but cozy. Jennifer and I are BFF's. She's great, so much better than a lot of other girls' first roommates.

"Anything important?" Jennifer asks. Her bed creaks as she rolls over to hold the textbook over her head.

"Facebook updates," I reply. "So nothing that should be keeping me from cramming for Astria's test but you know, any excuse and all that."

She laughs and I do too. Closing the laptop I climb back onto my bed and pick up my textbook and highlighter. College is great. I'm two semesters from graduating with honors. It's been hard but worth it.

"We should go to Eden tonight," Jennifer says. "Screw this test, screw Astria, but better yet let's get us screwed!"

I look over my text at her smiling face. Jennifer's always going on about boys. I've known her for over three years now and she's constantly playing the field. She also knows I'm not interested. A source of never ending teasing for her. She leers over her text book at me, lays it aside, then moves both of her hands along her body, across her breasts and dives them between her legs.

"Oh, oh," she says mocking me. "Bradley, you're so ... big," she thrusts her hips and grunts.

I arch an eyebrow at her and she starts laughing so hard tears are running out of her eyes.

"Seriously girl, you got to use it or lose it, ya know? Get you some action, take that stress off!"

I shake my head. There's only one man I want and I haven't seen him in almost four years. My chest constricts thinking of him. After he ran out of the hospital that night I'd let him go. I thought he just needed space to figure things out for himself. Our parents have been so cool about what happened. They don't blame us. Hell even Danny is cool about it and he's stuck in a wheelchair for life, most likely, and needs special tutors to accommodate his slowed learning rate. Despite all that Josh blames himself.

"Hey!" Jennifer bursts into my reverie with a shout.

"What?" I shout back then we're both laughing.

"I know you're hung up on that hunk from the past," Jennifer says. "I get it, trust me I do. You have to live in the now though."

I smile and nod. She and I have had this same conversation many times and it always ends the same. I smile, I nod, she's appeased and we move on until the next time it comes up. Josh has my heart. I'd give my soul for him to come back, for him to be okay. He barely talks to our parents and dropped out of school. I hear tales of him from the young party scene. He drinks a lot now. People tell me stories of how wild he is. Somehow his dad has kept it out of the papers which is a testament to his power in the publishing world but he can't control social media and Josh has made a splash there.

"So about this test." I smile changing the subject.

Jennifer leaves our dorm room later that night while I settle in with a cup of Earl Grey and my textbook to continue cramming. I'm not sure how she keeps her GPA up with her love of partying and going out, but she manages it better than I would. I turn up the college radio station a bit and let the soft pop rock surround me drowning out the cares of the world.

My phone drops off the desk. I hadn't noticed it ringing and the vibrate took it right off the edge. I reach down and retrieve it, turning the music down with one my other hand. My voice mail chime sounds so I unlock it and press the button to play back the latest message.

Cindy, it's Aunt Maria. Honey, I need you to call me. Please, call me fast as you get this.

Chills run down my skin listening to her voice. I've never heard my aunt cry or sound so upset in my life. Something's wrong. I hit the return call button. My hand shakes as I hold the phone to my ear, my pulse pounds through my veins in a long forlorn song of its own. Something's happened to Josh. I just know it. He's been drinking hard and I'm sure he's doing drugs too. He must have OD'd on something.

Oh god, let him be alive. Please! I pray as the phone rings again and again. Come on Maria! I just missed the call, pick up!

"Hello?" Maria sobs into the phone.

"Maria?" I ask.

"Cindy? Oh god honey, I need you to come home. There's a plane waiting for you at the airport. You need to get here now."

"Maria, what's happened? Is Josh okay? Danny?"

Silence from the other end for one long moment.

"They're fine Cindy," she says at last.

"What is it?"
If they're fine then what? A plane is waiting?

"It's your parents honey," she says breaking down into sobs over the phone.

I'm cold, so cold like an arctic blast chilled the room below freezing. I feel my mouth working but no sound comes out. I can't think of what to say or ask.

"What?" I croak.

"Just come home. You're needed here now. Come home Cindy."

"I'm on my way," I say numbly.

I sit staring at the phone. I don't know for how long. Someone is going to call and say this is all a bad joke, a sick prank. I wait, but the phone doesn't ring. No one calls, nothing changes.

I shoot a text to Jennifer before I call a car to take me to the airport.