Romance: Rockstar Romance: Rock My World (A Bad Boy Rock Star and a College Girl Romance) (Contemporary New Adult Second Chance Romance) (79 page)

“You don’t have to keep apologizing. It isn’t your fault. I’ve just been very stupid” I said and took another sip of my milkshake. He had turned to look at me and I caught his eyes, unwavering and strong. I don’t know where I had suddenly developed the strength to stare into his eyes and not worry about blushing.

“If you say so. But I don’t know why you think you were stupid. I thought we had a great time together”, he said and I watched as his red lips moved. I was drowning in his bright blue eyes and I didn’t care anymore.

“I don’t know either why I feel that way. I guess I just wanted an adventure and not have to worry about it. You know? Just get on with my life” I said and tore away from his gaze finally.

“Well, you still can. It’s not like I’ll stalk you forever” he said and I didn’t reply. I knew he was right but I didn’t know why I still felt like it had been a mistake. He had been nothing but charming and kind to me from the moment we had met.

“Is it because you’re feeling things that you didn’t expect a one-night-stand to make you feel?” he asked softly. His words came out in dribbles, shaking my world as I remained silent and chose to hang my head low. I concentrated on my leather boots instead.

“Because that is how I feel” Marvin said and I jerked my head up to look at him. I didn’t expect him to confess his feelings. I didn’t even know he had feelings!

“Yes” I said finally and blushed a bright red. Marvin smiled but looked away nonetheless.

“I knew we had a connection. I knew you were going to be more than just an adventurous drunken fling” I heard him say slowly.

“But I don’t want to feel this way” I said pleadingly. I was embarrassed by my own voice and my heart stopped beating when he moved himself closer to me. Our thighs were grazing now and he crept his hand over to mine, the one that was lying on my side. He engulfed my hand in his own big palms and I shut my eyes tight and looked away from him.

“It won’t be a disaster if you don't treat it like one” he said after a few minutes. Our hands were locked together, and I cold smell his cologne and my senses were reeling.

“You’re going to be gone in six months. This time you will actually be gone” I said, I could feel tears pricking my eyelids and I felt stupid. I couldn’t believe that the situation was making me cry. My hands were in his and all it did was break my heart.

“It doesn’t mean that it has to end what we can possibly build in six months. That is a lot of time” he said. He had leaned in closer to my ear and I could feel his breath on my cheek. I was so close to kissing him, but I was more interested in the words that were coming out of his mouth.

“What do you mean? How is it going to work if we are in two different continents Marvin?” I asked him, meeting his eyes daringly even though I could feel the pool of water around my eyes.

“We aren’t captives. We can decide what we want to do and where we want to do it. Nobody and nothing is holding me back in England for starters” he said hurriedly. I could see him trying to convince me with his words. In that moment all I wanted to do was throw my arms around his neck and bury my face in his chest.

“I like the sound of that” I finally managed to give him a smile and he smiled widely back at me.

“Good” he said and he didn’t ask permission, he just leaned in and bit my lower lip. Just when he was pulling away I grasped his neck with my hand and pulled him to me again, kissing him with a new found passion and hope. Marvin turned his body to face mine and pressed up closer to me. Even though we had layers of clothing between us I could feel the growing heat emanating from his body.

He broke away from me suddenly and laughed, just as he had done that first night at the end of the Tower Bridge. “You really know how to surprise me Amber” he said through his laughs and I couldn’t help but join him in laughter.

“I could say the same about you Marvin” I said when I managed to stop.

“Marvin. That name sounds good in your mouth” he said just before pulling me to him again and kissing my throat.

****

THE END

''I'm afraid if you want to further your career, it's that or nothing,'' Josie said. She wasn't even looking at Cara, she was reading her emails.

''But I really can't. The memory is still too painful to.....''

''Cara. I've had enough of your whining now. You either do it or pack your bags.''

Cara hung her head and left the office. It was her third week as a junior reporter at Revolver Rock Magazine. She liked it, she felt she was at the beginning of a great career in music journalism, but Josie was turning out to be a real bitch. It wasn't as if she was much older than Cara. But Josie hadn't taken as long as Cara to decide what
she
wanted to do and had made the position of editor her own in double quick time. Whether it was because she was a good journalist or the fact that she was sleeping with Nick Best, the gorgeous media tycoon that owned the magazine, Cara didn't know. She suspected it was the latter.

Cara had graduated in journalism a year ago. She'd spent a few months afterward bumming around on the beaches of California trying to mend her broken heart. When she'd heard that Josie, who'd  graduated at the same time as she, already made
Editor
, Cara decided to get serious and start working.

Cara was more beautiful than Josie, and Josie knew it. Maybe that's why she
was being
such a bitch. She was scared Nick would dump her for the better-looking woman. But Cara wasn't interested in Nick or any man for that matter. She just wanted to knuckle down and develop her career.

''Why's life so damn
difficult
?'' Cara asked.

Ted looked up from his desk. ''Dunno, it just is.'' Ted fancied Cara, big time. Nick had hired him around the same time as Cara, his second junior journalist hiring of the year.  Ted wasn't the best-looking guy in the world, but he could write.
He
was tall and thin with a big nose and sunken eyes.
He
was more geek than hunk but Cara like him. He was generous and had a wickedly dry sense of humor. Ted for his part loved Cara. When he got back to his shared apartment in the
evening,
he would complain to his peers, that he wasn't able to concentrate at work. One day it was her beautiful legs, rubbing against each other that distracted him, the next day it would be her breasts peeking out over a low cut top.

''She's making me do it, I can't believe it,'' Cara said.

''It's cruel
of
her. But think of it this way, it's
a massive
chance for you to further your career. Of course, she could send me instead. I think she's just doing it to spite you,'' Ted mumbled as he fiddled with a digital camera.

''I don't know why she would want to spite me. I've done nothing wrong.''

''Ah. You haven't done anything wrong. But Nick can't keep his eyes off
you,
and she wants you gone.''

''Really?'' That hadn't occurred to Cara. ''How perceptive of you Ted.'' Cara got up from her desk and kissed him on the cheek. A massive grin appeared on his face as he inhaled her scent.

*****

The University of South California - Arthur Morris School of Journalism had looked very intimidating to Cara when she'd first arrived there as a fresh eighteen-year-old.

Her mother had
cried,
and her father had had a tear in his eyes when they'd dropped her off at Trojan Hall, one of four freshman halls of residence on the campus. Her sister, just seven had given her a knitted bear as a lucky charm. Cara didn't sleep much on her first night. There were echoes as people came and went in the corridor outside her room, and she was sure she heard a couple having sex in the room next to hers.

Cara was there to study
seriously,
and she doubted anyone would catch her coming back to halls in the middle of the night or
entertaining
men in her room. That was what she thought before she'd met Giles, otherwise known as Shifty.

''Hi, what's your name?''

''Cara.''

''You're hot, Cara.''

He'd made her blush. She'd never thought of herself as hot, although lots of boys at school had asked her on a date. She'd only ever kissed one guy, a guy from her village called Henk. She'd enjoyed the kiss, but not his hand up her skirt.

''What's your name?''

''Giles. But I hate Giles. They call me Shifty.''

''Why?'' Cara asked thinking he must have done something dishonest in the past.

''Because when I play the guitar my hands shift up and down the keyboard so fast you can't see them move.''

''Really? And are you any good at the guitar?''

''I'm okay I suppose.''

Cara had always wanted to play guitar, but her parents had made her play the violin. Her father had told her it was more becoming
of a
young lady, and far better to be classically trained than stand on stage making an almighty din. She'd faithfully gone to lessons once a week and scraped away in her bedroom
to
please him, but she'd never taken to it. It ended in tears one day when Cara, a hormonal teenager at the time, had taken a pair of scissors and cut through the strings.

Cara hadn't known what to think of Shifty in the beginning. He wasn't like any man she'd ever met. All the guys in her year at high school had been nice guys, well dressed with well-cut hair and pressed shirts. Shifty wore ripped
jeans,
T-shirts covered in expletives and sneakers that Cara wanted to take off him and throw in the trash. His blonde hair was shoulder
length,
and although clean, it was beginning to form into dreadlocks.

But he had something she liked. She saw through the image he was trying to create. She saw a sensitive man, a man who
liked
culture, a shy man hiding behind a facade.

''So what are you studying Shifty?'' Cara asked. They were sitting in one of the canteens at USC. He'd seen her sitting alone reading a book and decided to sit next to her.

''Oh, I'm not.''

''Not what?'' she asked.

''I'm not studying anything.''

''So what brings you here if you're not a student?''

''Cheap meals.''

''But you can only eat here if you're a student.''

''Who the hell asks? They're happy to take my money.''

At the time, it seemed daring to Cara. She'd never done anything remotely incorrect. She knew it wasn't the crime of the century but still, he was breaking the rules.

''You look like
a proper
student. They'd never refuse you,'’ he said.

''What do you mean?''

''You look prim and proper. You're well dressed. Skirt, blouse, ribbon in your hair.''

''Is there anything wrong with that?

''Er...no....suppose not.''

''Well, it's better than looking like an undercover cop from the vice squad.''

He looked at her. Her beauty took his breath away. She was classically beautiful, more Audrey Hepburn than Cameron Diaz. She was the kind of girl he knew his mom would like. His mom and dad were professional people, she a surgeon, he a lawyer, and they both despaired of Shifty or Giles as they called him. They often wondered what they had done wrong in his upbringing. His mother sometimes cried when she thought what he could be. She'd told him until she was blue in the face, that he could do better. She'd told him thousands of times how intelligent he was
in an effort to
encourage him to better himself. But Shifty wanted to play
music,
and that's what he was going to do. Even a serious fight with his father hadn't changed his mind. His father had become so frustrated with him, that he'd taken him into the yard and challenged him to a boxing match. He hadn't realized how strong Shifty had become until Shifty landed a punch on his nose, splitting it in two.

''I don't look anything like the vice squad,'' he complained. ''I look like me.''

''Do you do drugs Shifty?'' she asked abruptly.

''No. What makes you say that?''

''Dunno.'' She did know. She fancied
him,
and if he was
going to
ask her out, she wanted to know beforehand what he was.

''Well if you think I look like a junkie all I can say is, see you later.'' He got up and sat a few tables away.

Cara was surprised to find how disappointed she was when he went. She'd made a deal with herself not to get involved with anyone at college, but she would have been fully prepared to break that deal if he'd asked her on a date. He was tall and
handsome,
and his green eyes had spoken to her. He'd brought life to the
table;
now she was alone again. She stood up and went to his table where she sat down.

''What are you doing?'' he asked.

''You went off in a sulk before our conversation had finished.''

''As far as I was concerned it was finished.'

''Well as far as I was concerned it wasn't.''

''You insulted me.''

''Have you got such a thin skin?''

''No.''

It was going nowhere, Cara thought. ''Tell me about your music Shifty.''

His face suddenly lit up. ''Do you like music?''

''Yes. I used to play violin.''

Shifty pulled a face. ''I write my
own
stuff.''

''What kind of
stuff
?'' Cara hated the word
stuff
. It was a lazy word used when people couldn't be bothered to speak
properly
.

''Rock, ballads mostly. Love, pain, death, betrayal, that sort of thing.''

Cara leaned
on
the table with her elbows and set about reappraising him. She added driven to the list. ''Will you play for me sometime?'' she asked. What are you doing Cara, she asked herself? No guys until after college remember?

''Are you sure you'd like that?''

That was the opportunity for Cara to change her mind, get back on track, but she didn't take it. ''I'm sure I would.''

*****

Cara had made an effort to look the part, but she didn't possess the kind of clothes Shifty wore. She managed a pair of jeans, a red blouse and a pair of sneakers. She also let her hair down for the occasion.

''Did you find it okay?'' he asked.

''It was a bit tricky, to be honest. The cab driver didn't know where it was, neither did the controller.''

Shifty was sitting on
a disused
loading dock in a broken down industrial estate. Cara had never been
to
such a rough place. Even the cab driver had asked her if she was sure she wanted to get out there.

''Come inside,'' he said.

Cara followed him into the disused building. It had been some
kind of
warehouse in a former life. Now there was a stage made of wood against the back wall and a few seats littered around the place.

''Sorry, it's a bit basic, but I can't afford anywhere else. I even have to pinch the electric from the next building,'' he said. He pointed to a cable that came from behind the stage, ran up the wall and through a window.

''No, it's fine. I'm looking forward to hearing you play.'' She cringed as her imagination took over. He was standing on the stage, guitar in hand, making
the most awful
noise she'd ever heard. That was her worst fear. She would feel so sorry for him if he was no good. He would be living a
lie,
and she didn't think she could take it if that were the case. She already cared for him too much to think he was wasting his life pursuing a dream that had
absolutely
no chance of ever
being fulfilled
.

''Sit here,'' he said pulling
a grubby
looking chair toward the stage. ''Right, now give me a few minutes, I need to tune up.''

Cara sat patiently and watched a few pigeons nesting in the rafters high above them. He sat on the edge of the stage and
tuned
an electric guitar. When he was ready, he stood up and bowed to her.

''Lady, no gentlemen, welcome to this mini concert. The first song
is called
, ''Why I Fell For You.'' Cara applauded and sat on the edge of her seat, fingers crossed he wasn't' going to make a real fool of himself.

When he started to play and sing, Cara almost fell from her chair. His voice had such power and despite being ignorant of guitar playing ability, she knew
he
was
very good
indeed. She looked at his face and noticed how completely engrossed in the song he was. The lyrics were beautiful, about a woman he'd fallen in love with but who'd jilted him for a man with more money. She felt a lump in her throat. She felt like one of the judges on a talent contest, one who had just found the talent of the century.