ROMANCING MO RYAN (37 page)

By now she was sleepwalking, unable to even garner the energy to argue.
 
“SOS lied on Mo,” she said halfheartedly.

“I know they did,” Lance said.
 
“But it ain’t about Mo, that’s what Phil’s trying to tell you.
 
This bigger than Mo.
 
Think about it, sweetheart.
 
He stands for everything you hate.”

“Not everything.”

“Come on, girl, you know what I mean.
 
This SOS did him wrong, they did, but he ain’t on the Supreme Court.
 
That’s what matters.
 
His right wing agenda has been stopped.
 
That’s what counts.
 
I feel for Mo, don’t get me wrong, I like him a lot.
 
But this shit bigger than Mo, honey, way bigger.”

“So what am I supposed to do?
 
Bury the story?”

“Shove it in the grave, girl.
 
Yes ma’am.
 
You print that story and yeah, you may exonerate your boyfriend, but damn, Nikki.
 
What about the rest of us?
 
I’m a gay man, in case you haven’t noticed lately.
 
Mo could get on that Supreme Court and he and his fellow conservatives could suddenly want to ban my lifestyle and lock me up in prison or something.”

“How could you say that about Mo?
 
You know him.
 
You know he wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“Knowledge is relative, girl.
 
You knew him way better than I did.
 
And look what you did to him.”

She couldn’t believe Lance said that to her.
 
“You’re wrong for that,” she said.

“The truth is the truth, girl.
 
So I don’t understand why you’re trippin’.
 
But if it was up to me, I’d bury that story, wash my hands of it, forget about it, and move the hell on.”

She shook her head.
 
He was right.
 
He didn’t understand.

“I went to The Daily News because they were willing to print the truth.
 
You weren’t.
 
They were.”

“So The Daily News is the hero now?
 
Spare me, all right?
 
You and I both know about The Daily News.
 
You and I both know that it’s nothing more than a right-wing piece of shit pretending to be a newspaper!”

“And The Gazette is a left-wing piece of shit pretending to be the same!
 
What’s the difference?”

Phil just stared at Nikki, his disappointment in her complete.
 
“Well if you don’t know that, then I really feel sorry for you.”

“Right was right, Phil, I don’t care what y’all say.
 
It was the right thing to do!”

Their eyes met.
 
All of the loud talk and big ideas.
 
This was what it came down to.
 
Him against her.
 
And all he could do was shake his head.
 

“I never thought I’d say these words,” he said.
 
“Never in a million years did I think I’d live to see a day like this.”
 
He inhaled, and then exhaled slowly.
 
“You’re fired, Tarver,” he said.
 
“I want you to get your belongings and get out of this building immediately.”
 
He stared at her longer, as if to see if she got it, if she fully understand what terrible crime she had committed, and if she showed any signs of remorse.
 

Seemingly convinced that she wasn’t remorseful at all, he grabbed the front page he had slung on the desk, toss it in the trash, and walked away from her.
 
The others continued to stare at her, as if she were some carnival act on display, but none spoke, and soon they left her side as well.
 

She’d never felt more alone, and more alive in all of her life.

She loaded her personal items in a small box and closed her office door.
 
The newsroom was bustling, everybody had something to do, and no-one said a word to her as she walked out.
 
Even Helen ignored her.
 
Even she didn’t feel that Nikki was worthy of so much as a snide remark from her.
 
Nikki, in their eyes, had committed the greatest sin in journalism: she told the truth when it wasn’t convenient to tell the truth.
 
She didn’t aid their agenda or conform to what they decided was right and wrong.
 
Now she was no longer welcomed in their world.
 
She was no longer one of them.

Outside was better.
 
She could breathe again.
 
She inhaled and walked swiftly down the steps of The Gazette building for the very last time.
 
She wanted to turn back, to look up again at The Gazette’s motto:
Where the Rights of Citizens Dare to be Heard
.
 
But she didn’t turn around.

She walked to the side of the building, to the parking lot, but as soon as she saw her mustang parked there, she saw his Mercedes too.
 
He got out of the car, leaned against it, and looking at her.
 
Now he was looking at her too.
 
Only she welcomed his attention.

But as she moved toward him fear began to grip her for the first time, the kind of fear you feel when you slip and was in the midst of a fall.
 
Where will she land?
 
How
will she land?
 
She was twenty-five years old and had been fired from both of the only two journalism jobs she’d ever had.
 
What, she couldn’t help but wonder, was to become of her?

“Hello, Nikki.” Mo said when she made her way up to his car.
 
He took the box from her hand.

“What brings you to this end of the world?”

“I read your article this morning.
 
I didn’t know you worked for The Daily News.”

“You know I couldn’t do that.
 
Those right-wing idiots?
 
Please.”

He snorted.
 
But then he turned serious.
 
“Thank-you, Nikki,” he said.

“It’s not going to change anything,” she said.
 
“That’s why the Gazette didn’t care.
 
Because they know it won’t.”

“But it changes me, Nikki,” Mo said.
 
“It makes me all the more certain that there’s still genuine people in this world.”

Nikki felt flushed with emotion.
 
But she kept it together.
 

“But answer this, Nikki.
 
Since you knew the upside was low for you, why did you do it?
 
Why did you take that chance?”

“Don’t you mean why didn’t I do it a long time ago?
 
I was trying to right a wrong, Mo, that’s all.”

He stared at her.
 
“I know what a sacrifice it is for you.”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do.
 
Coming out of your office building with a box of your belongings is usually a good indicator.”

She smiled.
 
“Well, it’s certainly strange, that’s for sure.
 
I loved The Gazette, you know?
 
But I’ll land on my feet.”

“I know you will.”

“What about you?
 
How are you?
 
You resigned this morning.”

“I had no choice, but yes, I submitted my resignation.
 
Besides, I have a job offer.”

This interested Nikki.
 
“A job offer?
 
Really?
 
Where?”

“Minnesota.
 
The Denlex Corporation has offered me the position of senior vice president.”

She smiled.
 
“That’s huge, Mo.
 
That’s great.
 
I’m really happy for you.
 
At least you’ve got a plan.
 
That’s the important point.”

“Yes, I think so.
 
A plan of action is always needful.
 
The writing was on the wall as far as my judicial career was concerned.
 
I guess I know how to move on.”

Nikki looked at him, and that sense of dread began overtaking her again.
 
Was this it?
 
Was he going to leave her and move on to better things?
 
“And how do you move on, Mo?” she asked him.

He took her box, sat it on the hood of his car, and then placed her hands in his.
 
Now he was really looking at her, and his stare was no longer that
who is this person
stare, but less circumspect.
 
More certain.
 
He now knew who she was.
 

“I can show you better than I can tell you,” he said to her.

Her heart began to soar.
 
“Maybe you can show me after all.
 
I have a lot to learn.”

“That could only mean one thing then.”

“And what’s that?”

“I think you’ve got to tag along with me, Nikki.”

She heard the words, and they were clear, but she was afraid to believe it was true.
 
“Let me get this straight.
 
You want me, you’re asking me, to go with you to Minnesota?”

“That’s what I’m asking.
 
And not just to Minnesota.
 
I don’t have to be on the job for a few months.
 
We’ll see the world together.
 
From one place to the next.
 
Oh, the places we’ll go, Nikki.
 
If you say yes.”