Rossum´s Universal Robots (2 page)

Helena
What happened next?

Domin
Next? Next he had to get this life out of the test tube and speed up its development so that it would create some of organs needed such as bone and nerves and all sorts of things and find materials such as catalysts and enzymes and hormones and so on and in short... are you understanding all of this?

Helena
I... I’m not sure. Perhaps not all of it.

Domin
I don’t understand any of it. It’s just that using this slime he could make whatever he wanted. He could have made a Medusa with the brain of Socrates or a worm fifty meters long. But old Rossum didn’t have a trace of humour about him, so he got it into his head to make a normal vertebrate, such as human being. And so that’s what he started doing.

Helena
What exactly was it he tried to do?

Domin
Imitating Nature. First he tried to make an artificial dog. It took him years and years, and the result was something like a malformed deer which died after a few days. I can show you it in the museum. And then he set to work making a human being.

(
Pause
)

Helena
And that’s what I’m not allowed to tell anyone?

Domin
No-one whatsoever.

Helena
Pity it’s in all the papers then.

Domin
That is a pity. (
jumps off desk and sits beside Helena
) But do you know what’s not in all the papers? (
taps his forehead
) That old Rossum was completely mad. Seriously. But keep that to yourself. He was quite mad. He seriously wanted to make a human being.

Helena
Well that’s what you do, isn’t it?

Domin
Something like that, yes, but old Rossum meant it entirely literally. He wanted, in some scientific way, to take the place of God. He was a convinced materialist, and that’s why he wanted to do everything simply to prove that there was no God needed. That’s how he had had the idea of making a human being, just like you or me down to the smallest hair. Do you know anything about anatomy, Miss Glory?

Helena
Er, not really, no.

Domin
No, nor do I. But just think of how old Rossum got it into his head to make everything, every gland, every organ, just as they are in the human body. The Appendix. The tonsils. The belly-button. Even the things with no function and even, er, even the sexual organs.

Helena
But the sexual organs would, er, they’d...

Domin
They do have a function, I realise that. But if people are going to be made artificially then, er, then there’s not really much need for them.

Helena
I see what you mean.

Domin
In the museum I’ll show you the monstrosity he created over the ten years he was working. It was supposed to be a man, but it lived for a total of three days. Old Rossum had no taste what so ever. This thing is horrible, just horrible what he did. But on the inside it’s got all the things that a man’s supposed to have. Really! The detail of the work is quite amazing. And then Rossum’s nephew came out here. Now this man, Miss Glory, he was a genius. As soon as he saw what the old man was doing he said, ‘This is ridiculous, to spend ten years making a man; if you can’t do it quicker than Nature then you might as well give up on it’. And then he began to study anatomy himself.

Helena
That’s not what they say in the papers either.

Domin
(
standing
) What they say in the papers are paid advertisements and all sorts of nonsense. They say the old man invented the robots himself, for one thing. What the old man did might have been alright for a university but he had no idea at all about industrial production. He thought he’d be making real people, real Indians or real professors or real idiots. It was young Rossum who had the idea of making robots that would be a living and intelligent workforce. What they say in the papers about the two great men working together is just a fairy tale-in fact they never stopped arguing. The old atheist had no idea about industry and commerce, and the young man ended up shutting him up in his laboratory where he could play around with his great failures while he got on with the real job himself in a proper scientific way. Old Rossum literally cursed him. He carried on in his laboratory, producing two more physiological monstrosities, until one day they found him there dead. And that’s the whole story.

Helena
And then, what did the young one do?

Domin
Ah now, young Rossum; that was the start of a new age. After the age of research came the age of production. He took a good look at the human body and he saw straight away that it was much too complicated, any good engineer would design it much more simply. So he began to re-design the whole anatomy, seeing what he could leave out or simplify. In short, Miss Glory... I’m not boring you, am I?

Helena
No, quite the opposite, this is fascinating.

Domin
So young Rossum said to himself: Man is a being that does things such as feeling happiness, plays the violin, likes to go for a walk, and all sorts of other things which are simply not needed.

Helena
Oh, I see!

Domin
No, wait. Which are simply not needed for activities such as weaving or calculating. A petrol engine doesn’t have any ornaments or tassels on it, and making an artificial worker is just like making a petrol engine. The simpler you make production the better you make the product. What sort of worker do you think is the best?

Helena
The best sort of worker? I suppose one who is honest and dedicated.

Domin
No. The best sort of worker is the cheapest worker. The one that has the least needs. What young Rossum invented was a worker with the least needs possible. He had to make him simpler. He threw out everything that wasn’t of direct use in his work, that’s to say, he threw out the man and put in the robot. Miss Glory, robots are not people. They are mechanically much better than we are, they have an amazing ability to understand things, but they don’t have a soul. Young Rossum created something much more sophisticated than Nature ever did-technically at least!

Helena
They do say that man was created by God.

Domin
So much the worse for them. God had no idea about modern technology. Would you believe that young Rossum, when he was alive, was playing at God.

Helena
How was he doing that!

Domin
He started to make super-robots. Working giants. He tried to make them four meters tall-you wouldn’t believe how those monsters kept breaking up.

Helena
Breaking up?

Domin
Yes. All of a sudden, for no reason, a leg or an arm would break. This planet just seems too small for monsters like that. So now we just make them normal size and normal proportions.

Helena
I saw my first robot in our village. They’d bought him so that.... that’s to say they’d employed him to...

Domin
Bought it, Miss Glory. Robots are bought and sold.

Helena
... they’d obtained him to work as a road sweeper. I watched him working. He was strange. So quiet.

Domin
Have you seen my typist?

Helena
I didn’t really notice her.

Domin
(
rings
) You know, RUR, Ltd. has never really make individual robots, but we do have some that are better than others. The best ones can last up to twenty years.

Helena
And then they die, do they?

Domin
Yes, they get worn out.

(
enter Sulla
)

Domin
Sulla, let Miss Glory have a look at you.

Helena
(
stands and offers her hand
) Pleased to meet you. It must be very hard for you out here, cut off from the rest of the world.

Sulla
I do not know the rest of the world Miss Glory please sit down

Helena
(
sits
) Where are you from?

Sulla
From here, the factory

Helena
Oh, you were born here.

Sulla
Yes I was made here.

Helena
(
startled
) What?

Domin
(
laughing
) Sulla isn’t a person, Miss Glory, she’s a robot.

Helena
Oh, please forgive me...

Domin
(
puts his hand on Sulla’s shoulder
) Sulla doesn’t have feelings. You can examine her. Feel her face and see how we make the skin.

Helena
Oh, no, no!

Domin
It feels just the same as human skin. Sulla even has the sort of down on her face that you’d expect on a blonde. Perhaps her eyes are a bit small, but look at that hair. Turn around, Sulla.

Helena
Stop it!

Domin
Talk to our guest. We’re very honoured to have her here.

Sulla
Please sit down miss. (
both sit
) Did you have a good crossing.

Helena
Er, yes, yes, very good thank you.

Sulla
It will be better not to go back on the Amelia Miss Glory. The barometer is dropping fast, and has sunk to 705. Wait here for the Pennsylvania, that is a very good and very strong ship.

Domin
How big is it?

Sulla
It is twelve thousand tonnes and can travel at twenty knots.

Domin
(
laughing
) That’s enough now, Sulla, that’s enough. Show us how well you speak French.

Helena
You speak French?

Sulla
I speak four languages. I can write ‘Dear Sir! Monsieur! Geehrter Herr! Ctěný pane!’

Helena
(
jumping up
) This is all humbug! You’re all charlatans! Sulla’s not a robot, she’s a living girl just like I am. Sulla, you should be ashamed of yourself-why are you play-acting like this?

Sulla
I am a robot.

Helena
No, no, you’re lying! Oh, I’m sorry, Sulla, I realise... I realise they force you to do it just to make their products look good. Sulla, you’re a living girl just like I am-admit it.

Domin
Sorry Miss Glory. I’m afraid Sulla really is a robot.

Helena
You’re lying!

Domin
(
stands erect
) What’s that?-(
rings
) If you’ll allow me, it seems I’ll have to convince you.

(
enter Marius
)

Domin
Marius, take Sulla down to the dissection room to have her opened up. Quickly!

Helena
Where?

Domin
The dissection room. Once they’ve cut her open you can come down and have a look.

Helena
I’m not going there!

Domin
If you’ll forgive me, you did say something about lying.

Helena
You’re going to have her killed?

Domin
You don’t kill a machine.

Helena
(
arms around Sulla
) Don’t worry, Sulla, I won’t let them take you. Do they always treat you like this? You shouldn’t put up with it, do you hear, you shouldn’t put up with it.

Sulla
I am a robot.

Helena
I don’t care what you are. Robots are people just as good as we are. Sulla, would you really let them cut you open.

Sulla
Yes.

Helena
And aren’t you afraid of dying?

Sulla
I do not understand dying, Miss Glory.

Helena
Do you know what would happen to you then?

Sulla
Yes, I would cease to move.

Helena
This is terrible!

Domin
Marius, tell the lady what you are.

Marius
Robot, Marius.

Domin
And would you take Sulla down to the dissection room?

Marius
Yes.

Domin
Would you not feel any pity for her?

Marius
I do not understand pity.

Domin
What would happen to her.

Marius
She would cease to move. She would be put on the scrap heap.

Domin
That’s what death is, Marius. Are you afraid of death.

Marius
No.

Domin
There, Miss Glory, you see? Robots don’t cling to life. There’s no way they could do. They’ve got no sense of pleasure. They’re less than the grass.

Helena
Oh stop it! Send them out of here, at least!

Domin
Marius, Sulla, you can go now.

(
Sulla and Marius exeunt
)

Helena
They’re horrible. This is vile, what you’re doing here.

Domin
What’s vile about it?

Helena
I don’t know. Why... why did you give her the name ‘Sulla’?

Domin
Don’t you like that name?

Helena
It’s a man’s name. Sulla was a Roman general.

Domin
Was he? We thought Marius and Sulla were lovers.

Helena
No, Marius and Sulla were generals who fought against each other in... oh I forget when.

Domin
Come over to the window. What do you see?

Helena
Bricklayers.

Domin
They’re robots. All the workers here are robots. And down here; what do you see there?

Helena
Some kind of office.

Domin
That’s the accounts department. And in the...

Helena
...
lots of office workers.

Domin
They’re all robots. All our office staff are robots. Over there there’s the factory....

(
just then, factory whistles and sirens sound
)

Domin
Lunchtime. The robots don’t know when they’re supposed to stop working. At two o’clock I’ll show you the mixers.

Helena
What mixers?

Domin
(
drily
) For mixing the dough. Each one of them can mix the material for a thousand robots at a time. Then there are the vats of liver and brain and so on. The bone factory. Then I’ll show you the spinning-mill.