Rossum´s Universal Robots (7 page)

Helena
Why are there no more children being born?

Dr. Gall
That’s something we don’t understand.

Helena
Tell me about it!

Dr. Gall
Because there are robots being made. Because there’s an excess of manpower. Because mankind is actually no longer needed. It’s almost as if... er...

Helena
Say it.

Dr. Gall
It’s as if making robots were an offence against Nature.

Helena
Gall, what’s going to become of the human race?

Dr. Gall
Nothing. There’s nothing that can be done against the force of nature.

Helena
Why didn’t Domin put a limit on....

Dr. Gall
Ah, forgive me, but Domin has his own ideas. People who have ideas should never be allowed to have any influence on the events of this world.

Helena
And is there anyone who... who is urging them to stop making them?

Dr. Gall
God forbid! That would be suicide!

Helena
Why?

Dr. Gall
Because all the people would lynch him. Don’t you think it makes life a lot easier to let the robots do all the work? (
Helena stands
) And what do you think would happen if we suddenly did stop making robots?

Dr. Gall
(
standing
) Hm, that would be an enormous blow for the people.

Helena
Why a blow?

Dr. Gall
Because then they’d have to go back to where they’d been. Unless...

Helena
Tell me.

Dr. Gall
Unless it’s already too late to go back.

Helena
(
by Hallemeier’s flowers
) Gall, are these flowers sterile too?

Dr. Gall
(
inspects them
) Of course they are, they were never meant to reproduce. They’re cultured flowers, don’t you see, artificially accelerated growth...

Helena
Oh, these poor, sterile flowers!

Dr. Gall
They are very beautiful, though.

Helena
(
offers her hand
) Thank you, Gall; I’ve learned so much from you.

Dr. Gall
(
kisses her hand
) Am I to understand I’m dismissed?

Helena
Yes. I’ll see you later.

(
exit Gall
)

Helena
(
alone
) Dead flowers, dead flowers (
suddenly decisive
) Nana! (
opens door, left
) Nana, come here! Light the fire. Quickly!

(
Nana’s voice
) Alright, I’m comin, I’m comin!

Helena
(
paces excitedly
) Unless it’s already too late to go back... No! Unless... No, that’s horrible! God, what am I to do?... (
stops beside flowers
) What do you think I should do, sterile flowers? (
pulls off petals and whispers
) My God yes! I will do it! (
runs off, left
)

(
pause
)

Nana
(
enters through wallpapered door with armful of kindling
) What’s she want a fire for all of a sudden? Middle of summer? ‘E’s gone now, has he, that maniac? (
kneels at fireplace and lights fire
) A fire in the middle of summer. She doe’n’alf get some funny ideas! You wouldn’t think she’s been married for ten years now! Come on now, fire (
looks into grate
) More like a little girl, she is. (
pause
) Ain’t got a bit of sense. A fire in the middle of summer! (
adds fuel
) Just like a little toddler! (
pause
)

Helena
(
returns, left, with armfuls of old, yellow paper with writing
) Is it burning yet, Nana? Out of the way, I’ve just got to burn all this stuff. (
kneels at fireplace
)

Nana
(
standing
) What’s all that that, then?

Helena
Some old papers, some very old papers. Nana, should I burn them?

Nana
Aren’t they any use, then?

Helena
No good use.

Nana
Burn ’em then.

Helena
(
throws first sheet on fire
) Nana, what would you say... if this were money I’m burning. Lots and lots of money?

Nana
I’d say burn it! Too much money is like a bad dog.

Helena
(
burns another sheet
) And what if it were some invention, the biggest invention in the world...

Nana
I’d say burn it! They’re against the will of God, all these things they keep inventing. Just a lot of blasphemy, it is, trying to make the world better than how He made it.

Helena
(
burning sheet after sheet
) And what would you say, Nana, if I were burning...

Nana
Mind out, don’t burn yourself!

Helena
Look at the way the sheets of paper curl up as they burn, as if they were alive, as if they’d come to life. Oh, Nana, it’s horrible!

Nana
Out the way-I’ll do it.

Helena
No, no, I’ve got to do it myself. (
throws last sheet on fire
) It’s all got to burn. Look at those flames! They’re like hands, like tongues, like figures. (
pokes fire
) Burn, burn!

Nana
That’s that done, then.

Helena
(
stands up aghast
) Nana!

Nana
Jesus Christ, what was that you burned?

Helena
What have I done?

Nana
God almighty, what was that?

Helena
Go, go now, leave me alone. Do you hear?

Nana
Oh, dear God, Helena, what have you done? (
exit through wallpapered door
)

Helena
I wonder what they’ll have to say about that!

Domin
(
opening door, left
) Come on in, lads. Congratulations to all.

(
enter Hallemeier, Gall, Alquist, all wearing frock coats and decorations, followed by Domin
)

Hallemeier
(
laughing loudly
) Helena! I would like, in the name of us all...

Dr. Gall
.... in the name of Rossum’s robot works...

Hallemeier
....... would like to congratulate you on your great day.

Helena
(
offers hand
) Thank you very much! Where are Fabry and Busman?

Domin
They’ve gone down to the harbour, Helena, today is a very happy day.

Hallemeier
A day like a flower bud, a day of celebration, a day as charming as a beautiful girl. Gentlemen, to a day like this we must drink a toast.

Helena
Whisky?

Dr. Gall
Or vitriol, perhaps.

Helena
With soda?

Hallemeier
Hell no, let’s be sober, without soda.

Alquist
No, thank you

Domin
What’s been burning in here?

Helena
Some old papers. (
exit left
)

Domin
Lads, do you think we should tell her about it?

Dr. Gall
But of course we should. After all, it’s all settled now.

Hallemeier
(
arms around necks of Domin and Gall
) Hahahaha! I’m so pleased about it, lads. (
spinning round with them and singing in bass voice
) All settled now! All settled now!

Dr. Gall
(
baritone
) All settled now!

Domin
(
tenor
) All settled now!

Hallemeier
They’re never going to catch us now.

Helena
(
in doorway with bottle and glasses
) Who’s not going to catch you? What’s going on?

Hallemeier
We have reason to celebrate. We have you. We have everything. Happy day, it’s exactly ten years since you came here.

Dr. Gall
Ten years to the day.

Hallemeier
There’s another ship on its way to us. And that’s why... (
empties glass
) Brrr haha, that’s as strong as happiness itself.

Dr. Gall
Madame, to your health (
drinks
)

Helena
Wait, what ship is this?

Domin
It doesn’t matter what ship it is as long as it arrives on time. Gentlemen, to the ship! (
empties glass
)

Helena
(
insistent
) You were expecting a ship?

Hallemeier
Haha, I should think so. Like Robinson Crusoe. (
raises glass
) Helena; Long live... whatever you like. Helena; to your eyes, and that’s that! Domin, tell her, lad!

Helena
(
laughing
) What has happened?

Domin
(
throws himself into armchair and lights cigar
) Wait. Sit down, Helena. (
raising finger) (pause
) It’s all over.

Helena
What’s all over?

Domin
The revolt.

Helena
What revolt?

Domin
The robots’ revolt. Do you see?

Helena
No, I don’t.

Domin
Alquist, show her. (
Alquist hands him newspaper. Domin opens it and reads
) “The first union of robots was established in Le Havre... and issued a call to all the robots of the world”

Helena
I read that myself.

Domin
(
draws voluptuously on cigar
) So Helena, do you see? What that meant was revolution. Revolution by all the robots of the world.

Hallemeier
Hell, I wish I knew...

Domin
(
throws it down on table
)... who it was who issued that call. There was no-one in the world who could budge them, no agitator, no saviour of the world, and then all of a sudden this happens!

Helena
Has there been no more news?

Domin
No. This is all we know so far, but that’s enough. Just think, this is what came in with the last boat, at the same time all the telegrams stopped, there were no more boats arriving when there used to be twenty a day, and it was obvious. We halted production and looked at each other wondering when things would turn nasty. That’s right, isn’t it, lads.

Dr. Gall
Yes, we were very worried, Helena.

Helena
And is that why you gave me that gunboat?

Domin
Oh no, you are silly, I ordered that six months ago. Just in case. But today I was beginning to think we’d have to make use of it. That’s how it all seemed, Helena.

Helena
Six months ago? Why then?

Domin
Well, there were already some signs, you see. Although that’s not important. But this week, Helena, it was a matter of human civilisation and I don’t know what! Cheers, lads! Today I’m once again feeling good with the world.

Hallemeier
Hell yes, I should think so! This is your day, Helena! (
drinks
)

Helena
So it’s all over now, is it?

Domin
Everything is all over.

Dr. Gall
You see, there’s a ship on its way here now. An ordinary mail boat and right on the time it says in the timetable. It will be dropping anchor at exactly eleven-thirty.

Domin
Punctuality is a wonderful thing, lads. There’s nothing that gladdens your soul more than punctuality. Punctuality means order in the world. (
raises glass
) To punctuality!

Helena
So... that means... that everything’s alright?

Domin
Nearly everything. I think they’ve cut the cable. It’s only if the timetable is operating again.

Hallemeier
If the timetable is operating again, then human laws are operating again, and God’s laws are operating again and the laws of the universe are operating again and everything is operating that should be operating. The timetable means more than the Bible, more than Homer, more the anything ever written by Kant. The timetable is the most perfect product of the human soul. Helena, I’ll have another little drink.

Helena
Why didn’t you tell me anything about all of this?

Dr. Gall
God forbid! We would rather have bitten off our own tongues.

Domin
Matters like this are not for you.

Helena
But if there’d been a revolution... and if it came here...

Domin
You still wouldn’t have known anything about it.

Helena
Why not?

Domin
Because we would be sitting peacefully on the Ultimus and sailing over the sea. And after a month we’d dictate to the robots whatever we feel like dictating.

Helena
Oh, Harry, I don’t understand.

Domin
Because we’d have taken something with us which is very important for the robots.

Helena
And what’s that?

Domin
Their beginning and their end. (
Helena stands
) What is that?

Domin
(
standing
) The secret of their production. Old Rossum’s manuscript. After a month of the factory being idle the robots would be on their knees to us.

Helena
Why... why didn’t you tell me about this?

Domin
We didn’t want to worry you without good reason.

Dr. Gall
Haha, that was our trump card.

Alquist
Helena, you’ve gone pale.

Helena
Why didn’t you tell me about this?!

Hallemeier
(
at the window
) Eleven-thirty. The Amelia’s dropping anchor

Domin
Is that the Amelia?

Hallemeier
The Amelia’s very old now. It was on the Amelia that Helena first came to us all that time ago.

Dr. Gall
And now it’s ten years ago to the minute...

Hallemeier
(
at the window
) They’re throwing off some parcels. (
moving away from window
) And that’s a hell of a lot of post there!

Helena
Harry!

Domin
What is it?

Helena
Let’s get away from here!

Domin
Right now? We can’t do that!

Helena
Now, as soon as we can! All of us!