Rouge (32 page)

But it was impossible. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream. I wanted to hit him for telling me this, for sending me away with this idea in my head that was impossible, but that I couldn’t easily dismiss. If this was his way of getting revenge, it was perfect. I’d never relax, and I’d always be looking for him, longing for him. Until I died.

“You don’t love me,” I said, looking up at his face. “You only want me to suffer. When you know you’ll never come.”

He stepped forward and cupped my cheek. “If you believe that, then you don’t know me at all.”

Our eyes locked and held each other’s. My heart beat so hard, I didn’t know if I was happy or sad.

Just then I heard footsteps in the ally behind him.
Roland spoke.

“May I leave now? Is everything set?”

“Yes,” Beau said, his eyes never leaving mine. Then he smiled as he spoke over his shoulder. “She’ll stay with me tonight.”

My old friend was now just behind Beau, and he looked at my face. He could tell something was going on, but he didn’t question it.

“I’ve got to get back then. I’ll be over in the morning to fetch you first thing.”

My eyes went to Beau’s, and I nodded. In a few moments, we were alone. At last he took my hand and led me from the ally, away from the cold damp.

Dawn was softly brightening Beau’s white room when I opened my eyes. His large windows provided a lovely view of the river below, but they were also a blaring reminder that our time together was at an end. At least for now, if he was to be believed.

When we’d arrived last night, it was all we could do to keep our hands off each other. Desperate kisses as we climbed the stairs, fumbled to the bed, into each others arms, our happiness mixed with tears. It was a reunion, but we knew it would be short-lived. And we knew the morning would bring a separation we both dreaded.

Eventually sleep came for a little while. Until the dawn opened my eyes.

Beau was still sleeping as I lay beside him studying his face, thinking about his words, wondering how long it would take him to raise enough money to cross an ocean. But even if he did, then what? I wouldn’t be able to leave, and he wouldn’t be able to stay. I sighed as I studied his handsome face. His stubborn, handsome face.

His eyes slowly opened, greeting me with memories of the deep blue irises I loved. “Good morning,” he whispered, lifting himself on one elbow and planting a kiss on my lips.

I smiled, thinking how it didn’t take much for my body to respond to his now. I reached out and touched his cheek, kissing his lips again as he slid the sheet away from me. One swift pull and I was on my back with him over me, kissing my stomach, my ribs, working his way up to my mouth over peaks and valleys as tingling waves rippled through my limbs. He rolled, and I was on top of him then, my hair spilling over my shoulders. His hands slid to my face and he pulled my lips to his, our bodies joining easily, warmth surrounding us both.

After, I slipped down to the bed beside him and smiled as he traced my hair off my cheek. Once again, I was so happy
.
I never wanted to leave him, ever.

“Pretend I believe you,” I said, as he traced his finger down the line of my back. “How long might it be before you were actually in
Paris
?”

“Too long,” he smiled.

“
No, seriously
.”

“It depends on how fast I can get on at the shipyard. How much they’ll pay me, and how much I can work.”

I frowned and sat up quickly. “The shipyard? What do you mean? Why would you work there instead of Philippe’s?”

He rolled back and stared at the ceiling. “Philippe closed the shop yesterday. He wants to sell it, so I’ve got to find another job.”

Happiness vanished as shock hit me like a kick to the stomach. “How long have you known this?”

“A few days.”

“A few days!” I slipped from the bed and went to the chair where my clothes were draped. “When you said you’d found a house, that you were ready to take care of us… You lied to me.”

“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you. I’ll have another job soon, and I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Not worry!” My hands shook as I quickly pulled my chemise over my body. Reality was hitting me too hard. “You really were just toying with me, hoping I’d believe you. When all along, I never had a choice.”

He frowned and wrapped the sheet around his waist before crossing the room to me. “Nothing’s changed. I’m still coming for you.”

“Everything’s changed! You were sending me to
Paris
on a dream. Was I supposed to wait for you until Freddie threw us into the streets? Was that your plan?”

“I’d never let that happen to you. I’ll come to
Paris
even if I had to do it as a stowaway.”

I stepped into my long skirt, jerking it over my hips. “And then what? What will we do once you get there? Starve?”

“I’ll figure it out, and I’ll do it fast. I won’t give up on us being together.”

My jacket was on, and I was lifting Roland’s overcoat from the chair when I heard his whistle in the streets below.

“I won’t take Teeny across the ocean to end up on the streets. I wouldn’t do that here, and I won’t do it in
Paris
.”

“You won’t end up on the streets.”

“And I won’t be waiting.” The whistle sounded again.

Beau caught my arms and pulled me to him. “I love you, Hale.”

He pulled me into a hug, but my body was stiff. Everything hurt. My heart was breaking, and there was no going back. “I can’t wait for you.”

“I’m coming for you. I’ll make it work.”

My eyes were glistening as I looked into his. “How?”

“I don’t know. I only know I’ll do anything it takes to make you my wife.”

Roland’s whistle rang out again.

“Goodbye, Beau.”

He started to speak, but I ran to the door and stepped through it, pulling it closed as a sob ripped from my throat. He couldn’t follow me out, and I wouldn’t look at his face again. I ran down the many flights of stairs and straight into Roland’s arms. He held me close in his side as I wept, and we didn’t speak as we walked quickly through the narrow, cobbled streets.

* * *

Dancers and stage hands were stirring and arriving as we sneaked in through the metal back door. Roland led me down the dark passage to my room, looking around before pulling me inside.

“You told him?” he asked, studying my tear-streaked face.

I shook my head. “I couldn’t. He wanted me to wait, but I told him goodbye.”

With a sad smile, Roland pulled me into a hug. “Freddie loves you. He wants to give you a happy life. That’s worth a lot.”

I nodded wanting to believe him, but my heart was broken, smashed, and destroyed. And my recovery would be long and painful.

“What happened last night?” I asked.

He let out an exasperated sigh. “There’s no place to bury someone around here, and it was too far to drag him to the river by myself.”

“What did you do?”

“The next best thing. I scrubbed everything clean and put him in his bed. Once you’re away, I’ll tell Gavin, and we’ll have someone come and take the body.”

I swallowed the knot in my throat. “Will Gavin go along with that? It’s his brother. I can’t believe he’d just… do nothing.”

“What can he do? For all we know someone sneaked in and attacked him. Plenty of people hated Guy, and Gavin won’t risk a police investigation here. Too much is at stake.”

Then he gave me a reassuring smile. “Try not to worry. It’s almost over. You’re almost free.”

I hugged myself. “I wish I could believe that.”

“Freddie will be here soon to take you away. Then you’ll be safe.”

“But what about you?”

“I’ve already told you. I’ll be fine. Now get packing.”

I followed him to the door. He slipped through it, and I slid the bolt behind him. That ache was between my shoulder blades as I walked to the dressing table. I looked down at the floor that was once covered in blood. Now it was spotless. No trace of my crimes there.

Dropping into the chair before my mirror, I lay my head on my hands. Saying goodbye to Beau had taken everything that was left of me, but there was no other way. I’d changed everything last night when I’d raised that club. I inhaled a shaky breath and looked at myself. The haunted look was back, but Roland was right. I had to pack. I had to prepare us to leave.

Freddie had given me money for trunks. I went to my closet and ran my hand down the soft fabric of the costumes that now constituted my wardrobe. His sister would see right away that we had nothing, but I hoped she’d chalk it up to my tragic past, to my lack of options.

A tap on the door caused me to jump. I stepped to it and listened, although I had no reason to be afraid. Was I expecting ghosts?

“It’s me,” a small voice said.

I quickly pulled Teeny inside and hugged her to me. “Were you okay last night?”

She nodded. “Armand and Joseph left, and I was worried about you. I thought he took you again.”

I rubbed her back and sighed. “He’s gone. You don’t have to worry about him ever again.”

That was as much as she’d ever need to know about what happened. I released her and turned back to the closet.

“I was looking at our shabby wardrobe. We’ll have to buy something to wear on the trip.”

Teeny frowned. “What trip?”

“Oh, darling,” I went and pulled her into my arms again. In all that had happened, she still didn’t know what was coming. “Freddie’s taking us to
Paris
. We’re leaving today.”

I felt her body stiffen. “
Paris
? But how?” She stepped back and looked at me in a mixture of wonder and disbelief.

“He arrived yesterday, but it was just to collect us. He’s taking us away this afternoon.”

“
Paris
?” She said again, and this time her voice was somewhere between a shriek and a squeal. “But… but… I have to pack!”

She danced a circle around our small room, and the grip of heartbreak holding me so tightly eased the slightest bit at the sight of her joy.

“I don’t know where to start!” she giggled, wringing her hands. “Thank goodness I have practically nothing. But Evie! Oh, Hale, I have to say goodbye to Evie!”

“You’ll have time for that. First we do have to buy you something to wear.”

“
Paris
and
a new dress!” She shrieked then her nose wrinkled. “Will you sell something?”

I shook my head. “Freddie gave me some money. It was to buy trunks for the journey, but I think we’ll only need one. Like you said, we’ve practically nothing.”

She sat on the bed beaming. “I can’t believe it’s happening. Your story is coming true!”

I sat beside her and put my arm around her shoulders. “We’re almost there,” I said, giving her a squeeze. “Just a few more hours.”

Our trunk was quickly selected and sent to the theater, and with several hours to spare, I clasped Teeny’s hand in mine and led her down the flagstone square to Celeste’s. Never in my life had I had the kind of money Freddie left us, and I intended to buy her one complete new outfit.

Teeny twirled around the boutique picking out petticoats and corsets. For her dress, she chose a bright
fuchsia
taffeta from the House of Worth. It was complete with a creamy chiffon shawl and navy bow.

“This isn’t appropriate for traveling,” I remarked, glancing at the price. I knew I would have to stop thinking about how much food we could get for what we were spending on clothes.

“I’ll wear one of my old dresses if you insist,” she sighed, twirling in front of the mirror. The hot pink was perfect with her complexion. In fact, she was gorgeous.

“You can wear it if you want,” I said, running my finger down the skirt of a white satin gown covered in what looked like black velvet wrought-iron. “Take it off now, so we can go.”

“That’s a superb example of the style of this house,” the clerk said in a haughty tone, lifting the white satin gown for me to see. The sleeves were clouds of chiffon gathered together with thick, black velvet bows.

“The scroll pattern reflects the emerging Art Nouveau style,” she continued, but her words gave me a jolt. “Would Mademoiselle like to try it on?”

“Oh, yes!” Teeny gushed at my side. “It would be perfect on you, and I’m sure Freddie will take you to a ball.”

I shook my head. “I need something more practical,” I said, turning away from the gown and its disturbing associations.

Instead, I selected a dark brown damask with a matching tweed coat. “I can wear this on the ship and to meet Annemarie.” Teeny gave me a worried look, but I patted her hand and went to the counter to settle our bill.